When 'Not' Dates Lead to Trust

As a self-sufficient professional woman in her early 30s Stella had decided did not need to concern herself with needing to find Mr Right. Her last few relationships had been disasters and followed a similar pattern- lust, great sex, less sex, him becoming less interested to the point he started sleeping with other women. Stella saw the pattern and could not see how she could change it. For now, she would get by with her battery-operated boyfriend who had never cheated on her!

Stella worked as a senior nurse in the Emergency Department and loved her work. She was never flustered in a crisis and had a large social circle. Sadly, a few of her friends had married and were busy with children, but she still had a few girlfriends she knew she could call on to catch a movie or try out a new restaurant in town. Plus of course, shift work was not conducive to relationships.

One of Stella's weekly rituals was lunch with her oldest friend, Jo who was also a nurse but worked at a GP surgery. Usually having a day off during the week, or before a late shift, Stella would call into Jo's surgery where Jo would provide sandwiches and Stella would bring a cake for the rest of the team. She got on well with Jo's colleagues and Dr Davies, the owner of the practice was always offering Stella a job there. But Stella was very happy in her ED work.

One Monday, Stella received a text from Jo- "Babe, I don't know your roster, but we need to lunch ASAP- Dr Hottie has joined the practice and you need to meet him!" Stella laughed at her friend- Jo knew of Stella's luck with men and had even introduced her to her last boyfriend- medical rep Drew. She replied "Haha! No chance there. Earlies til Thursday, Friday off- will lunch Friday as long as he has a day off!" Stella and Jo bantered via text a few times that week, however Jo knew Stella enough not to bring up Dr Hottie!

Thursday evening Stella baked a passionfruit cake for Jo's team. She used a new bundt tin she had picked up and loved the way the icing cascaded down the grooves of the cake. She snapped a pic, uploaded it to Instagram and went to bed. It had been four months since she had had sex with someone other than herself. She thought of Drew and how he was amazing in bed, but dull outside of it. She remembered the way he would twirl his tongue around her nipples as she rode him and was immediately aroused. She reached for her vibrator and found herself orgasming in just a few minutes.

Stella had a rule on her day off- she wore a dress. Wearing scrubs every day for work, she liked the opportunity to wear her hair down, put on a little make-up and wear shoes that weren't designed to prevent vomit and blood from seeping into them! This day she pulled out one of her favourite Spring dresses- a pink cotton floral number, low cut with a tie on the cleavage and a flared skirt that finished just above her knees showing off her shapely legs. She arrived at the practice just before noon, waved at the reception staff who commented on the cake she was carrying and headed for their lunchroom. Dr Davies was just leaving her room as Stella walked past. "Ah, Stella, here for that interview at last," she joked. Stella reminded he that there would be cake in the tearoom and Dr Davies told her she only had the one patient to see and she would be in.

As soon as she walked into the tearoom Stella was taken aback. In front of her washing his cup in the sink was a very good-looking gentleman! "Hi, I'm..." She started to say before he turned and said "No, let me guess, drug company, no maybe medical supplies, actually, no, um, I can't think of any reps who bring cakes these days." Stella placed the cake on the table and turned to shake his hand, "Stella Marshall, I'm a friend of Jo's and we catch up for lunch once a week." "So, you're the famous Stella Jo has been talking about all week! I'm Jake and I believe we are going on a date this weekend." Stella was taken aback, she tried to say that no, that would not be happening, and that Jo would not be having any cake that afternoon when Jo bustled into the room. "Ah so you two have met, so glad, now when's the wedding?" Stella was at a loss for words. Jake could sense her embarrassment and excused himself from the room, promising to come back for cake after his next patient.

"So, you met Dr Hottie!" Jo shrieked. Stella was still trying to compose herself, Yes, she would admit he was extremely handsome, those piercing green eyes and the way his hair flopped over his left eye and he kept flicking it out of the way and the fact that he was tall and had a butt that was calling to be squeezed, but she again tried to explain to Jo that she was done with men adding that with looks like that he was bound to be a player. Stella and Jo sat and ate their sandwiches. Other people came in and out of the room, some cutting slices of cake and all complimenting Stella on another amazing cake, several of them begging her come and work full-time with them so they could get cake more often.

Stella and Jo swapped stories of their week. Jo had married Steve, the love of her life in the most perfect ceremony a few months earlier and they had recently rescued a dog from the local pound. Steve was a teacher and it was report writing season so Jo was finding herself with more time on her hands than she had had in several months what with wedding preparation and the honeymoon and settling into married life so she and Stella decided to grab brunch at a local café the following day to continue their conversation. Fortunately, Jake had not come back into the lunchroom so she did not have to deal with talking to him again, however she couldn't really stop thinking of those eyes.

The café was walking distance from Stella's apartment, so she took a leisurely stroll there on Saturday morning. It was another stunning Spring day, so she grabbed another of her favourite dresses from her wardrobe, a navy wraparound dress that accentuated her curves, put a scarf in her hair and wore some silver dangly earrings that her parents had given her for her 30th birthday. She had spoken to them the evening before using Facetime. They lived interstate and were very anxious for Stella to produce grandchildren. Stella's younger brother Max had come out in his teens and had been in a relationship with Nigel for several years. Stella kept suggesting that perhaps Max and Nigel might have kids, but she also knew that both of them were career driven and that was not really on the cards. Stella had thought of children and knew that Jo and Steve were going to start trying for a baby in the next few months, but she did not know if she could see herself as a mother. She often had enjoyed nursing the children who presented to ED, but she also knew what could go wrong.

Stella arrived and found a table outside. Jo arrived soon after and the two of them sat and chatted over coffee and eggs for what seemed like hours. Stella went in to order another round of coffees and when she came out, she could see Jo waving at someone summoning them to come across the street. Stella looked and stopped dead in her tracks- it was Dr Jake. "Jo, please, no," pleaded Stella. Jake had not crept into conversation that morning. "Stella, he's lovely and even if you don't want to date him, he's new in town and he knows no one." Stella could imagine 500 reasons why he had moved to a new town and not many put poor Jake in a good light. Stella decided to be the better person, so she asked Jake to join them for coffee.

The three of them talked for the next hour, although Jo did most of the talking. Stella discovered Jake used to work in ED, but he preferred the pace of general practice. Stella had to admit it was easy to talk with Jake although he didn't give a lot away about himself. The three of them got up to leave. Jo probed Stella for her roster, and they discovered it was not going to be possible to lunch the following week with Stella's day off coinciding with a day Jo was heading to a course. Jake was walking the same way as Stella so they said their farewells to Jo. Stella pondered on Jo's tale that Jake knew no one in town.

"So Jake, now, please don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I know you are new in town and don't know too many people and I don't want you to think that I am asking you out or anything like that, but I'm working an early tomorrow and I know you have work early Monday morning, but perhaps you might like to grab dinner with me tomorrow night- I'd be happy to cook, but it won't be flash and you don't have to and again it won't be a date or anything of the sort and I wouldn't..." Stella looked over to see Jake smiling. "Stella, dinner with nothing else attached would be lovely, can I bring a bottle of wine?" Stella told Jake of her working Monday and that she tried not to drink on work nights and told him to just bring himself. They exchanged numbers and she texted her address.

Stella went home and did her weekly housework. Her home always looked immaculate and she did not need to do a lot. She then started to worry about what to cook for dinner the following night. She knew she found Jake attractive, but reasoned that there would be few on earth who would not find him attractive. He was easy to talk with when Jo was there but what would it be like without her? She flipped through some recipe books. She wanted something quick, but delicious and not too ordinary, but at the same time she did not want to give the impression of caring too much. Despite owning a bookshelf and a half of cookbooks she came back to the same recipes time and time again and decided to cook her chicken pasta bake. She could prepare most of it that afternoon and reheat it after work.

She did not want Jo to know of the impending dinner and realised she had not asked Jake if he had any dietary issues. She texted him "Hi Jake, Stella here, are you allergic to anything or is there anything you don't eat." It took an hour to receive a reply. Stella had been sitting hear her phone questioning why it would take someone so long to reply to a simple question. "Bella Stella! I eat anything and by anything, I mean anything. Looking forward to tomorrow night." As soon as he sent it, he wished he could clarify that he meant dinner and was not expecting anything else, but felt he'd leave it and not dig any further. Stella did the digging herself "Jake, thanks I think I can find something but please, don't get the wrong idea, I really do mean just dinner and I'm sorry if you have read anything else into my invitation."

Jake knew he had crossed a boundary and tried to think of a way to reply that would not make things worse but left it. He brooded all night and hated that he had been misconstrued. He was not used to dating and it had been many years since someone had taken his eye like Stella had. At 6am he texted "Stella, I'm sorry if I came across too enthusiastically, I really am looking forward to dinner and just dinner, well perhaps dinner with some conversation, but even if it's in silence I'm sure it will be lovely." Stella was getting ready for work and just smiled.

Stella's shift was unrelenting. She arrived to find the department full of the drunks from the previous evening along with a steady stream of people who just wanted to use the department instead of visiting their GP. Every time she was presented with someone who could have seen a GP on Monday she thought of Jake. She thought he was probably a good doctor, she knew Dr Davies held very high standards, but she really knew nothing about him. She decided that that was going to be her mission over dinner that evening. An emergency came in- a colleague had been involved in a car accident and the team worked hard to stabilise him before he was transferred to the ICU. She spent time with his wife who was totally distraught not knowing if her husband was going to live or not. It was hard on the whole team who had worked with this patient as a colleague for some years. She left with no news on his condition.

At home she showered and tried to put the day's events out of her mind. Instead of simply putting on sweats as she usually would after work, she wore jeans and a baggy shirt that hid most of her curves. She tied her hair in a bun, put the pasta bake in the oven and prepared a salad. She almost wished she had not invited Jake over after her hellish day, but at the same time looked forward to being able to talk with someone. At 6pm her intercom rang, and she buzzed Jake in. Jake was also wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but his shirt was well fitted and showed his physique off beautifully. He gave Stella a bottle of sparkling water and said he had wanted to bring flowers but did not want to give the wrong idea. Stella smiled. "Yes," she reminded him, "this is after all just dinner after the crappiest day in the history of crappy days." Jake probed further and she explained about her shift including her colleague in the ICU. She did not know him or his wife well, but he was well respected, and this was a total shock.

They sat down to dinner and Jake raved about Stella's cooking. After dinner Stella put the leftovers into two containers and told Jake to take one to work the following day. She offered him a cup of tea and the two of them sat in the loungeroom together. They talked about their training and some of the places they had worked. Jake was very good at getting Stella to open up however he was very coy in the information he gave out.

Around 8pm her phone rang. She answered. It was a brief conversation and she hung up and started crying. "He died," was all she needed to say. Jake came and wrapped his arms around her in the biggest hug she had received in ages. He offered to make her a cup of tea whilst she rang a few more colleagues. He placed the tea down and sat down next to her. "Tell me about him," Jake asked. Stella went on to describe her colleague as a man she didn't know well but a wonderful nurse who always had everyone laughing, he was a practical joker who never went too far, he loved nursing kids and had two of his own. Stella remembered comforting his wife that afternoon. "I don't know how she's going to cope; I mean she's lost her soulmate." Jake replied "She'll mange, she just has to, this is her new normal." He had a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"Jake, I know this was not a date or anything, but we've had some great conversations this evening, however I still feel like I hardly know you- have I missed something?" Jake bit his top lip. He knew this sort of question was coming and still did not know how to answer it. "So, you were wondering how his wife was going to cope, well I just coped. Life went on, but it was different." Stella sipped her tea as Jake told her about his crap ED shift and instead of having a colleague brought in after an accident, it was his pregnant wife and she too had died. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he spoke of Natalie, the love of his life who had died four years previously. It was getting late and both of them had work the following day. Stella gave Jake a serve of leftovers to take home and the two of them shared a hug that went on a little too long at her doorstep.

Stella dreamt of Jake that night, but Jake was with another woman. Stella felt so much jealousy in her dream and was trying to lash out. Jo's Steve was there, and he was telling Stella to pull it together over someone she didn't even like. She woke from her dream and the realisation hit- she was developing feelings for Jake.

The department was sombre that morning. Several colleagues were in tears and a counsellor was brought in. As Stella went for lunch she reached for her phone. There was a text from Jake "The leftovers taste better the following day, but the company isn't that good as I'm eating lunch alone." This was followed by "I was eating lunch alone, but someone who's name begins with a J and ends in an O just came in as she could 'smell Stella's famous Pasta Bake a mile away' and asked for all the gossip. I told her there was none- I'm sorry I didn't tell her about our non-date but I said we'd had dinner as friends. I hope that's ok."

There was also a text from Jo "Babe- you're note telling me things, I want to hear EVERYTHING!" She texted Jo first saying "I invited him around for dinner because he didn't know anyone- I was just trying to be kind." She pressed send and then typed "But I think I'm falling for him and I don't know what to do." She erased the text and left it unsaid then replied to Jake "Oh dear! Even I didn't think of that. I'm sitting here eating my leftovers in a very sombre lunchroom."

The rest of Stella's week was calm. Jo was busy with her course and work was steady. On Thursday she received a text from Jake "My lunch today is very boring. My dinners have been too. Are you free tomorrow night for me to return to favour by going on a not date to dinner- Dr Davies has been raving about a Thai place she had her husband tried last weekend." Stella smiled "Hmmm... I'm working Saturday night but am free Friday. I think I could fit in a hot date!" Stella had pressed send before she saw her typo. "OMG that was a typo, honestly, I meant NOT date, NOT date not hot date, not that, oh wow- I'm stopping here and am as red as a tomato." In his office Jake smiled. He had been thinking about the extended hug that finished their time together Sunday and how he had walked away with an erection which he saw to himself when he got home. Jo had warned him that Stella had been hurt time and time again and he hoped he might be able to help build some trust with her.

Friday evening rolled around. Stella had had the day off work and had spent the day reading. She had chosen the wrong genre of book however and was captivated in a pseudo love story where neither the man nor the woman would make a move into taking their relationship further. She had a quick shower and sat starting at her wardrobe. She wanted to impress Jake, but at the same time look as though she was not impressing him. She went with another wraparound dress, this time a watermelon pink with a geometric pattern on it. She knew it accentuated her curves and gave her cleavage but at the same time was not overly romantically floral.

Stella was ready when Jake rang her intercom. She buzzed him in, and he returned her leftovers container and gave her an icepack. She looked puzzled. "It's in case our not date gets too hot," Jake explained. Stella laughed and laughed and laughed. This had broken the proverbial ice from her typo. They headed to Jake's car and off to dinner. Dr Davies had been right- it was a great restaurant.

Afterwards they went for a walk along the waterfront. Stella felt Jake reach for her hand, and she entwined her fingers in his. It felt right. They walked in silence. Eventually they returned to Jake's car. On the drive back to Stella's they listened to the music surrounding them and Stella looked at Jake. Yes, he was obscenely handsome, but this did not mean he was like or not like the other men she had dated. And yet she felt something was different. At the lights Jake caught her looking and he smiled. He too was feeling feelings that he had not felt for a long time. He had not dated since Natalie had died, well he had been on a few dates organised by friends, but he had never felt a connection with any of the women he had been out with. Stella was different. Jo told him that she was special in that she cared too much for others and no enough for herself and that she'd been hurt too many times. He'd seen his mother go through something similar once his father deserted him and his sister, but again he did not usually tell people about this.

They arrived at Stella's. Stella was trying to work out a way to invite Jake inside that did not give the wrong impression. There was a silence for a bit before Jake said "Stella, might I presume to come in for a cup of tea and, for tonight, only a cup of tea?" Stella smiled and said she thought this sounded perfect. Jake made them both a tea and they sat together on her couch. "Stella, I really am enjoying our time together and I get the feeling there's a spark of something, but I don't know if either of us know what we want." Stella agreed and said still was wrestling with the idea of letting anyone into her life.