When One Day We are Gone Ch. 04

[Author's note: Cassidy Hayes, psychologist by day and mother of two, is struggling with the fragmentation of her marriage as her husband Damian cheats on her with Lily, a sexy blonde younger woman. Far from calling her husband out on his infidelity, Cassie has found herself being blackmailed by Lily into doing what the younger woman tells her. Meanwhile, Cassie is exploring a different world, having made a new friend in Madame Syn, the owner of the Lost and Found, and a highly accomplished Dominatrix.

Cassie has seen first-hand Syn's life at the Lost and Found, and the things she's capable of. Cassie finds herself confronted with the idea of stepping into this new life, of becoming Mistress Grace. However, she has other things she needs to get sorted out first, such as Lily.

Cassie's story crosses over with Aidan's here, see Oxygen Games Ch. 09 for further reading. You may also spot a cameo from the Happy Tuple (The Monogamists), as storylines begin to converge.]

---

SWITCH

Armal brought them two flutes of champagne, depositing them on the table of the booth.

Syn nodded. "Thank you," she said.

She had changed clothing, wearing a smart blouse in dark blue over fitted leather trousers. She had foregone the high heels for a lower sandal.

"Murder on the calves until you get used to it," she remarked.

Cassie nodded in agreement. "Those boots you dressed me in were pretty confronting. I took a good minute to build up the courage to walk down the stairs."

"Oh, but it was worth it, Cassidy. You looked absolutely...."

Syn's voice trailed off.

"What?"

The older woman ran a hand through long blonde hair threaded through with silver, stopping herself mid-sentence.

"You did them justice," she finished, simply.

Syn raised her champagne in a toast and Cassie clinked her glass. Both women took a sip of the bubbles in silence. The club had emptied out now, leaving just a few stragglers in the other booths. Kyle and Tabby were long gone, escaping through the back door into the night rather than pushing back through throng of the Lost and Found's main floor.

"Nice touch, by the way, the encouragement you gave Kyle," Syn commented.

"Nice touch? Really?"

"Yes. I saw you about to go for something and I nearly stepped in, but then you did that. It was so unexpected."

"I saw that he was suffering."

Syn inclined her head to one side, pondering. "That was why it was a nice touch. I'm very forward, and I suppose that's expected, given what domination seems to mean to most people. But you're different. You're all about the carrot, I'm about the stick. They still don't get a choice in the matter and I suppose we'll get to the same destination, but it's a very different journey to get there."

"I don't think I could do what you do," Cassie replied, "Twisting the knife like that."

"You're selling yourself short."

"No, I mean it. I watched you. I listened to what you said, how you said it, how you meant it. I saw how you moved. Every little movement was so precise. A touch of a fingernail, an exact turn of phrase. It was like..."

Syn laughed softly, "Like what...?"

"Like art. Like watching ballet."

Syn looked away, raising a hand to her face to cover her amusement.

"And how did you find it from your side?" Syn asked, "The scene? Me?"

"Are you asking for feedback, or to check in with me on how I'm feeling?"

"Both."

Cassie took another sip.

"I don't know how I'm feeling. It was a lot to take in. The way you played with them both was... I can't quite... I guess I wasn't prepared."

Syn flashed her a wry smile, "You felt like I'd just pushed you in the deep end."

Her words triggered something in Cassie, tugging on a thread from when they were in the scene, a feeling of disquiet. Cassie fixed the older woman across the table with a look. Syn had asked for feedback, and Cassie had something she wanted to get off her chest.

"You emphasised the proper procedure, but there was no communication."

"I disagree, there was plenty. Tabby and I discussed it in detail before you arrived. What do you think you missed out on?"

"That, for starters. All that would have been good to know. Also, the password thing."

Syn rolled her eyes, an amused expression on her face.

"He does the taxes for the club and I do his, uh, special occasions. He's very thorough, and I feel I owe him a reciprocal attention to detail."

Syn was smiling, enjoying the banter. Cassie didn't know if it was tiredness, or coming down from the adrenaline buzz, but it goaded her.

"You didn't let me know. There was no communication with me."

"Were you about to call the police?" Syn asked with a smile.

"I was nearer than you imagine."

Syn laughed, an alto rumbling sound, "Oh, Tabby would have been mortified. Kyle would have cracked up, but dear Tabby, no. She'd put a lot of effort in. It takes sacrifice, bottoming like that."

Cassie wasn't laughing, and Syn's laughter tapered off.

"If you ask me again," Cassie said, trying to keep her tone level, "I want full disclosure, up front, or I'm just going to walk out. Think of it as a professional courtesy. If I ran a counselling session like that, I'd deserve to be disbarred."

Syn was watching her silently, her icy blue eyes locked onto the younger woman across the table. Cassie wondered, not for the first time, how many people had weathered that inscrutable stare over the years, how many people she had looked deep into. Then Syn broke off, looking down, staring at her drink.

"Of course, I see your point. I was playing shorthand because we were all familiar with each other and didn't consider your requirements. You're right, that was unprofessional of me. It won't happen next time."

Syn was silent for a few moments. Cassie waited patiently for her to continue; there was clearly more to be said.

"Will there be a next time?" Syn asked.

Cassie was caught by the blue eyes again. There was a hint of something unreadable in her expression: she was waiting for Cassie's judgement.

"I think," Cassie began, taking a steadying sip of her champagne, stalling for time, "I think there could be."

Syn appeared to be waiting, letting the other woman break the silence, but when Cassie didn't elaborate further, Syn filled the space.

"Let me tell you something, Cassidy," she murmured, her voice low against the backdrop of the music, "It's been a long time since someone stood up to me like you just did. The alpha female generally brooks no argument."

Syn stared down at her glass, watching the bubbles ascending in delicate streams. Cassie's eyes wandered around the almost empty space, settling on a man and a woman in one of the booths against the opposite wall, gesturing wildly with their hands. The man was taller, wiry, dressed in a trench coat. The woman was petite, long dark hair and skin the colour of coffee, dressed in a little black dress. Cassie recognised her from the first time she'd come to the club: Eve.

"Adam and Eve," Syn said, following her gaze, "Not their real names, of course, like anyone here."

"What are they doing?"

"Eve's father is deaf, so she learned sign language from a young age. Apparently, she's teaching him."

"Why?"

"God knows. It's a wretched idea, if you ask me. How on earth do you keep a conversation private if everyone knows what you're saying from clear across the room? You may as well have brought a megaphone."

"I think it's cute that he's learning. Maybe he wants to talk to her father?"

"Oh, maybe. I used to think I had a lot going on until I met that pair. There's more that crosses their minds in one day than some people think in a lifetime."

"I like that he's trying, for her."

Cassie thought back to the scene, upstairs. She remembered the way that husband and wife had looked at each other in the end.

"Thinking about Kyle and Tabby?" Syn asked.

"Yes. Thinking of the things people do to bring them both closer."

Cassie felt Syn's hand on hers, a delicate warmth, making her turn away from watching the other couple.

"You and I are in the same business, Cassidy. We're relationship counsellors. We help marriages, or at least we let people feel that they're not alone."

"Why do you do it?" Cassie asked the older woman solemnly.

Syn gave her hand a squeeze. "Oh, now that's the big question, isn't it?" she said, pausing a moment to consider her response. "I'll answer it this way. Did you see it, upstairs? That moment where I extracted her from the stool, the agony on his face as he saw what I'd done to her? Then after, when she betrayed him, how lost she looked? I live for that. I do it for that."

Cassie regarded her companion carefully. "Torturing them?" she asked.

"Ah, no. Quite the opposite. Feeling the bonds of love and stretching them, watching how fiercely they resist being torn apart. There's something fundamental about it, something atomic."

Quite unexpectedly, tears pricked Cassie's eyes as she recalled Damian and their life together, the love she felt for her husband. She still felt it, even now, even as he turned away from her towards Lily. She choked back the feeling mercilessly, desperate to avoid the question that would break her heart.

"What about you?" Cassie asked, instead, "Have you ever felt that way? Your husband?"

Syn leaned back, her hand slipping away. Cassie realised that she'd pushed too far, venturing into dangerous territory. Syn brooded in the shadows beyond the cosy pool of illumination cast by the little spotlight above the table. When she leaned back into the light, her expression had changed.

"Do you think you know Quinn well, by now?"

"Enough. We had some very good sessions. He opened up about how much he loved his wife, how their relationship worked. I imagine that would have been another unbreakable bond."

"But it was broken, and he was left on his own. The other half of him was missing, they were together and then one day she was gone. Would you believe it if I told you that Quinn and I are very much the same?"

"How?"

"Losing your owner is a terrible thing. There are only three outcomes that I know of. You struggle through and maybe find someone new, or you don't find anyone and perhaps you don't make it through at all. Or, you switch."

"Is that what you did?"

Syn picked up her glass, swirling the pale, effervescent liquid around in the flute, contemplating the way it was illuminated beneath the table light. Cassie found it impossible to imagine the bold, extraordinary woman across the table ever giving in to anyone, let alone kneeling on the floor, eyes cast down like Tabby had been. It was inconceivable, but then Syn nodded in confirmation.

"We had such a wonderful life together. He taught me everything. He started this place out of nothing, just from the force of his will. I was honoured beyond measure when he chose to marry me and for me to finally belong to him. Every day until the end."

"Were you with him, when he died?"

Syn put the glass down carefully and folded her hands in front of her. Her face had a far-away look.

"I was there with him. Just the two of us," she said, quietly.

"He must have been comforted by that, having you there by his side."

The comment seemed to shake Syn from her reverie and she sat a little straighter, her chin up, suddenly energised.

"I most certainly was not by his side."

She met Cassie's confused gaze haughtily.

"I was in my proper place, kneeling naked by the bed. One of his hands was on my hair. His other hand around my leash."

There was dignity in her words, also pride.

"He owned me right up until his last breath."

Her hand drifted up to her neck. She paused.

"Sometimes I would gladly give a lifetime of freedom away for just one more day with his collar around my throat."

---

After personal training, Cassie sat for a long time in her car in the middle of the carpark, in the sun. Draped over the steering wheel, she slowly clenched and unclenched her fist, feeling the residual stiffness in her forearms from the gym session. She watched the fingers of her left hand curl and uncurl, questioning her choices.

Her ring finger was bare. Her gym bag contained a pretty exercise outfit she had bought especially, the lightest shade of pink and figure-hugging, so that she could walk into the gym like a film star, showing off the trim physique that she and Aidan, her trainer, had been working towards for months. She had wanted to wow him, and for a brief moment, it had worked.

Cassie recalled the look on Aidan's face, the way his eyes travelled over her body. She recalled the little thrill it gave her to be admired by him. He'd noted the lack of wedding ring on her finger and she'd just smiled at him and said, "Less and less point."

The admission to him had set something free inside her, admitting to the handsome man standing opposite her that she was open to the idea of moving on. Just saying the words had made her feel powerful, in control.

But then she'd seen Aidan's reaction, the trouble behind his eyes as he took her through her training session, and in the end, her little indulgent fantasy of flirting with him had faded, to be replaced by concern for him. She'd taken him for coffee afterwards, thinking that she could help. She asked him to unload, but she wasn't prepared for the depth of his feelings. He had disclosed deeply personal things, sitting at a little table in the busy shop, opening up about his relationship with his wife, their struggles to have a baby, the games they were playing. By the end, she was in tears, seeing how he hurt, feeling ashamed for her childish desire to flirt and get his attention when he was shouldering such an immense burden.

Cassie rang her hand through her hair and started the car. It had made her own issues seem tiny in comparison. At least she would always have the boys to love, at the end of all this. If Aidan's relationship fell apart, he would be left with nothing. She clenched her left hand again and decided not to put the wedding ring back on. She would make some excuse if Damian questioned it, but she knew he wouldn't. She wouldn't have to lie because he would never even notice.

---

Lily had arranged to meet for lunch in the food court near Lily's office. Cassie arrived early, eager to reconnoitre before her adversary arrived. It was just midday and there were only a few people around, dotted across the floor in groups of twos and threes. Cassie took a seat, scanning the entrances with a growing feeling of foreboding. Lily didn't often ask for a meeting, and when she did, it was not usually good news for Cassie.

A couple of tables away, a couple were talking. She watched the way the beautiful blonde woman listened to her companion with rapt attention. It gave Cassie a pang of sadness to see it, recalling how she had once been able to look at Damian that way. Another woman approached, smaller, darker, pushing a stroller. Cassie recognised the newcomer as the woman in the spin class at her gym. The two stood to greet her and they sat down. Cassie watched the blonde woman cooing over the little baby.

In the distance, Lily walked into view. Cassie saw her look around until she locked eyes on Cassie and began to approach. Cassie shifted in her seat uneasily, forcing a neutral, pleasant expression. Lily waived, but before Cassie could wave back, the man at the other table responded. The blonde woman next to him gave a desultory half-wave and crossed her arms. Cassie sensed there was history there. How long had Lily been up to her tricks?

"Hi Cassie," Lily called as she approached, "Thanks for coming. Shall we get something to eat?"

Cassie nodded and stood, following the slender blonde woman to the food stalls. They made small talk while they waited for their salads to be prepared, Lily engaging in light conversation about her day as if they were two old friends catching up.

The conversation remained light when they sat down to eat. Cassie noticed that Lily had picked a different table, putting distance between herself and the people she had waved to. Lily talked and Cassie listened, munching her salad quietly.

When Lily finished eating, she put her fork down and leaned forward, elbows on the table and fingers threaded together. There was a glint of excitement in her eyes.

"So, I've been doing some thinking, Cassie," she began, "I thought we should come to an arrangement."

Cassie blinked, blindsided by the switch in the conversation. "Arrangement?" she echoed.

"Yes. Given our situation, I think we need to have a discussion about our way forward."

"Uh, okay."

"You don't seem sure."

Cassie shook her head, her mind scrambling to enumerate the angles.

"No. Yes. I'm sure," she stammered, "I think that it's a good idea to talk."

Lily beamed, "I knew you'd be open to this."

Cassie opened her mouth to speak, but Lily launched into full flow before she could begin.

"It's been awkward, hasn't it, these last few months?"

Cassie nodded, dumbly, but Lily pressed on.

"In fact, it's been quite a lot of pressure on me, having to maintain a relationship with Damian while he's also sleeping with you. I wonder sometimes if it's also taking its toll on him too. Just this morning, he seemed a little tired."

The way that Lily slipped in the knife was breathtaking, sending Cassie's thoughts reeling. Cassie remembered kissing Damian goodbye at the door. Had he then met up with Lily before work for a moment of passion before he got into the office? She remembered Damian's face as he left, showing no trace of his intention to fuck another woman within the hour.

"He did?" Cassie replied. It was all she could manage.

"I don't know if you two maybe had a moment yourselves this morning, or did you do it last night?"

"That's none of your business Lily."

"Ah, but it is. You don't need to answer, I'll just ask him. He'll tell me. We have no secrets."

"What do you want? Why am I here? You said you wanted to discuss the way forward for us both."

"For us three, really. That's just the point. Whether you're spending time with him, having sex with him, it's very much my business. If you're seeing him every day and every night, and all I get is a few hours here and there, it's not fair if he's distracted or tired when he's with me, is it? I mean, you can see my point, right?"

Cassie glowered, but remained silent as Lily continued.

"The fact of the matter is, he enjoys his time with me. I know he does. He says so. It's not fair that he has to also deal with you, distracting him."

"But I'm his wife," Cassie snapped, her voice trembling with suppressed rage.

"That's the thing, Cassie, the bit you're just not getting," Lily replied. "You had him for all those years and well, he got bored of you."

Lily crossed her legs and smiled sweetly. When she spoke again, the tone was informal, condescending.

"What are you really to him? A nanny, a housekeeper."

Lily shrugged and continued, "You're his maid, definitely, but not his lover. That role's been taken by me."

The way she said it was self-assured, but there was the ring of truth in her words. Cassie felt them like knives in her gut. Damian had chosen: Cassie the housewife was no contest for the willowy, beautiful blonde sitting opposite her.

"Face it, Cassie," Lily said, "I won and you lost."

She leaned forward, as if to divulge a secret.

"Which means that I should get to enjoy the prize and you need to step out of the ring."

Cassie studied her opponent closely. Her lips were smiling, but her eyes were hard and merciless.

"What," Cassie stammered, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that from now, I'm going to be taking exclusive rights to that delicious body of his," Lily pouted, "I want to know that each time he slips that wonderful cock inside me, that it hasn't been inside you in the meantime. When he cums, I want to be the one who receives everything he's got."