When One Day We are Gone Ch. 07

[Author's note: Cassidy Hayes, psychologist by day and mother of two, is struggling as her husband Damian cheats on her with Lily. Blackmailed through incriminating videos into doing what Lily tells her, Cassie finds herself yielding to the domineering sexy blonde younger woman. Meanwhile, Cassie is exploring a strange world, having made a new friend in Madame Syn, the owner of the Lost and Found and a highly accomplished Dominatrix.

As her marriage implodes, Cassie finds herself seeking solace with Aidan, her fitness instructor. Read his side of the encounter in the finale to Oxygen Games. Aidan's journey from heartbreak to redemption is continued in SamYork's story A Place Beyond The Horizon.]

---

THE TRUTH AT LAST

"Steady," Tia called out, making Cassie turn. Her daughter came hurtling past, caught up in a footrace with Hope, both girls neck-and-neck.

"Yours has longer legs," Billie remarked.

"Yours has Olympian DNA," Tia countered.

"Yeah, but that was swimming."

Cassie listened to the banter of her friends as they stood outside the school gates, watching their children go in. Sam and Charlie were sulking, it had been like that since they'd gotten up.

"Some days you win," Cassie shrugged.

"Twins," Tia confirmed.

"Solo mother," Cassie elaborated, "They always behave better with Damian around. They'll be like angels when he's back tomorrow."

"You coming along this morning?" Tia asked her.

Cassie smiled at the tall Brazilian woman. Billie was nodding in the background.

"Maybe not this time," Cassie replied.

"Come on," Billie interjected, "We can talk shit about everyone who isn't there. If you're not there, we're gonna talk shit about you."

"That's juvenile," Cassie replied.

"Also fun," Billie countered.

Tia raised her hands. "We're going to stop inviting you. Just remember we had this conversation."

Tia waved at her rapidly disappearing daughter and turned towards her car, swaying elegantly in her long summer dress. Cassie and Billie watched her leave.

"Rear of the year," Billie remarked under her breath, "But don't tell Morgan I said that."

Cassie didn't reply, but it didn't matter: Billie was in full swing.

"Now we're alone, tell me. You haven't said a word about any of it since the picnic and frankly I'm amazed that I've waited as long as this, so spill. What's going on?"

"Nothing. It's all good."

"Bullshit."

Billie gave her a look, waiting for Cassie to elaborate. Cassie felt a little jolt of excitement.

"Okay, but to the grave, right?"

"I fucking knew it. Cassidy Hayes, you are a dark horse."

"Hey, I haven't done anything. I'm just talking."

"So, this is hypotheticals?"

"Purely."

Billie folded her arms over her chest primly. "Waiting," she said.

Cassie picked her words carefully. "You know about Aidan?"

"Morgan's got some kinda weird crush on him, so yes."

"She has? But she likes...."

"Girls. Yes, seems even girls who like girls notice Aidan. Morgan said he might be able to tempt her to go hetero," Billie laughed, "Apparently, he's dreamy. Like we're still in fucking school. But, c'mon. Get to it."

"He wants to meet up with me."

"When?"

"Today. Now, after drop-off."

"Fuck off," Billie exclaimed, "Aidan of the Abs? Sir Pec-a-lot?"

"You're making that up now."

"Morgan says it. I think she does it to wind me up. So, you gonna, uh, do it?"

"Billie!"

"You've been talking about Aidan for months, how he's helped you with your body sculpting, how nice he is to talk to, how sad he gets sometimes. It's like a goddamn teen novel. Wait, he's not secretly a vampire, is he? Or a werewolf?"

"Billie, I'm being serious. He's coming to pick me up in his car."

"And?"

"And what should I do?"

"Jesus Christ, Cassie, are you retarded? Jump him!"

"Really?"

Billie clutched Cassie's shoulders. She smiled.

"All jokes aside, Cassie, and remember I mean this with the greatest affection for our long and heartfelt friendship. Your husband has been fucking someone else for months, and you are now presented with the option to return the favour with apparently one of the hottest guys on this landmass."

Billie surprised Cassie by enfolding her in a hug. When she spoke again, the light banter had evaporated.

"If you want to do it, then do it and don't look back. Life's too short for 'what if'."

Cassie stared at her friend's face, seeing the depth of feeling there all of a sudden, as Billie fixed her with an intense expression. There was a little dark feeling in her heart when she thought of her husband now, replacing the warm glow of love that used to be there. Billie was right; what did she owe Damian anymore? What was all of this if not simply the fear of taking the leap?

---

Cassie stood outside her house, waiting. In the end, she had decided against the short skirt that would have shown off her toned legs, discarded the tank top that would expose her buff shoulders, and pretty much talked herself out of everything that would give Aidan a glimpse of her skin. It was stupid, she chastised herself, given that he spent an hour with her twice a week, laying his hands on her body through the tightest lycra she owned. Aidan knew exactly what her body looked like.

That was the trouble. In the gym, with his hands on her shoulders, or holding her legs, she savoured the close attention he gave her. He called her Cass and they shared jokes. He gave her compliments. It was fun and light and flirty. Cassie saw Rosa watching them across the floor sometimes and it gave her a little thrill to think of Aidan's wife keeping a close eye on the attention he was paying to Cassie. Rosa of the Rear, Queen Bun-i-vere, a sensation on the social feeds, star of the gym's marketing, jealous of Cassie. Maybe just a little bit.

In the end, she'd selected a nice long-sleeved top, tight enough to show her curves, but not immodest, and a pair of dark leggings that showed off her firm, rounded bottom. She'd opted to gather her styled-blonde hair up into a loose ponytail, trying to look good, but not looking like she was trying.

She waited. The doubts began to creep in, not least the little voice that was thinking about Rosa. If Aidan did want more from Cassie, didn't that make her the same as Lily? Wasn't she just stealing someone else's husband because Lily had stolen hers? Even recalling what Aidan had told her in the coffee shop, Cassie still couldn't paint herself as the virtuous saviour of Aidan's troubled soul, diving in to rescue him from a marriage as broken as Cassie's was.

That was the wrinkle: Aidan and Rosa were in pain, caught in an endless cycle of injections and treatments, trying to have a child. Cassie and Damian had made the decision and then the twins came almost straight away. She had no idea what Rosa must be going through, facing the denial of her most basic desire. Cassie couldn't reconcile her feelings with the knowledge that if she followed through, it would only lead to damage for all parties.

A car stopped in front of the house and Cassie looked up to see Aidan in the driver's seat. Her stomach flipped, but she maintained her cool. Here we go, she thought. Let's see. Cassie climbed into the passenger side and turned to Aidan with a cheery smile, but her face froze as soon as she saw Aidan's anguished expression.

"What's up?" she asked, but Aidan didn't reply.

"Aidan, hey, just take a breath," she continued, "Whatever you tell me, it's okay."

Aidan forced a smile and they began to banter, but she could see the strain beneath the façade. Eventually, she reached out and took his hand in hers.

"Tell me," she said.

It took a long time to get all the story out of him, and by the time he was done, they were driving through the hills above the city, his hand in hers, resting on her thigh. He recalled the bet he'd made with his wife, and at first it sounded moronic, like something teenagers would do, but as he talked she began to understand the real reasons Rosa and Aidan had been playing sex games, one-upping each other until this last, devastating bet. It pulled at her too, listening to a man trying to do whatever he could to save a marriage from falling apart, though Rosa's problem was infertility rather than infidelity, at least until last night.

"How did you feel when she came home, after she'd spent the time, uh...."

"After she'd gone to a stranger's house to fuck him because she'd won a hall pass?" Aidan interrupted, his voice bitter, "How do you think I feel?"

She watched his face twist into a snarl, but then he relaxed. "Shit, sorry Cass. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand what you're going through."

Aidan gripped her hand in his and for a moment he seemed to be trying to speak, but no words were coming out.

"I know," he said at last, "I knew you'd understand. Damian's cheating on you too, right?"

"Yes, but this isn't about me. Tell me, how did you feel when she got home afterwards?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"It made me sick. When she left, I thought she was just calling my bluff. I didn't believe she meant to go through with it. It was just a fucking stupid bet, I couldn't believe she wanted to throw away our marriage just to say she'd won."

"So up until the point you heard her come home, you thought she would call it off."

"A hundred percent. Then I heard her walking in and I could tell, just from the way she was moving, that she'd done it."

"And what happened then?"

"I just... I wanted to damage her. I've never laid a hand on her, ever, but just at that point I was on the brink. I wanted to explode. But I didn't. I think I told her to fuck off, or something like that, but in the end, she just got into bed."

They approached a lookout and Aidan turned the car off the road and parked up. They sat for a while in silence, watching the curtains of rain sweeping across the city.

Eventually, Cassie spoke. "Before the bet, if I asked you if you love your wife, what would you have said?"

"Yes. I would have said yes."

"And now, after she's done what she's done?"

"I dunno, Cass. I'm just.... Fuck, it's just so hard. I can't decide."

"Do you think she loves you?"

"I thought so. I think so. But I can't understand that if she does then why did she do it?"

"Have you talked to her about it?"

The question seemed to twist something inside Aidan. "I can't, Cass. I just can't. All I can think about is her being fucked by someone else. It makes me so angry. Bitter."

Aidan looked across at Cassie, utterly lost. She felt the warmth of his hand on hers and she squeezed it reassuringly. His face showed the pain eating away at him, and suddenly she began to relive her own moments with Lily, the powerlessness.

He bent forward to kiss her, and Cassie found herself leaning in, meeting his lips with hers, feeling a powerful surge of adrenaline as his tongue slipped into her mouth. She cradled his head with her arm, drawing him closer, letting him know it was okay, how much she needed this too.

Gone was the feeling of being a homewrecker, of being another domino piece in Lily's line of cause-and-effect. Cassie gave herself permission to enter into this because Aidan needed it. She could feel the strength of his passion as he kissed her, and when his hand reached out to cup her breast, Cassie felt a shiver pass all the way down to her groin. Emboldened, her hand slid over his thigh, brushing against the swelling in his trousers, for the first time in ten years touching a man who was not her husband.

Aidan reacted to her touch, bunching his fists in her top and stripping her. Cassie raised her arms above her head, letting him do the work. She stared into his lovely eyes, seeing the passion there. Cassie reached behind herself and unfastened her bra, shaking her breasts loose for Aidan to touch, but then he stopped and pulled back. Cassie watched him, trying to read his expression, sensing that he was as surprised as she was to have gone so far. She straightened her spine, making her breasts stand out, silently offering herself to his touch.

In slow motion, Aidan bent forward to bring his lips into contact with a swelling nipple. The slightest touch of him sent a jolt of pleasure through her, and she sighed happily, gritting her teeth against the seismic waves of sensation his lips were producing in her body.

"You've no idea how long it's been since someone paid me any attention," she whispered.

All the opinions didn't matter anymore, all the advice was forgotten. Cassie restricted herself to the moment, and the pleasure of Aidan's gentle attention to her body. Almost without conscious decision, she raised her hips and peeled off her leggings and panties in a single sweeping motion, laying herself bare before him at last. Aidan's hand began to wander over her skin and she could feel herself moistening in anticipation. She knew that she wasn't going to stop him now. Instead, her only thought was of Aidan's magnificent physique stripped naked in front of her, and the exquisite pleasure of his manhood entering her willing body.

Cassie broke off and climbed between the seats into the back, laying down and spreading her legs to give him full access to her body. She could see it in his eyes now, a fervent glow. He pulled himself between the seats too and then set to work stripping off his clothing. Cassie's eyes travelled over every inch of his sculpted torso as he revealed it, then down between his legs as he finally freed himself of his underwear.

Her eyes fixed on his cock, standing rigid and proud from his crotch. He was engorged, aching for her, and it made Cassie feel powerful, knowing that her body had affected him so intensely. She revelled in the euphoric glow of being desired by him, all thoughts of her husband finally banished from her mind. Aidan lowered his face to her crotch, planting kisses on her toned stomach, working his way gradually up her body as her hands ran through his hair until his face met hers and his lips descended towards her open mouth.

Cassie could only stare up at him now, in disbelief that he wanted this as much as she did. She waited for him, feeling the heat of his manhood almost touching her pussy lips, poised.

In that moment, she knew that her marriage was lost, that she would never be with Damian again, feeling in an instant all those years passing into history. She closed her eyes and kissed him, slipping her tongue between his lips to show him he had permission.

When Aidan broke off the kiss and pulled away, Cassie reeled, blindsided.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I want to, believe me, I really do, but I can't. I can't be that guy."

Cassie heard his words but struggled to comprehend, her mind fogged by the haze of her wanton arousal. But she saw the hurt in his face, and the fear. Understanding dawned, bringing with it a strange admixture of crushing disappointment and melancholy relief. She found herself leaning towards him, taking his naked body in her arms and holding him close. For a long time, she savoured the contact, letting the rush fade and rational thoughts intrude again. She wanted him to make love to her, but he was not in the same place. Aidan wasn't ready, he hadn't made his peace with his partner's betrayal as she had. He still had a long road ahead of him, even as Cassie understood that she had finally come to the end of hers.

"I know," she whispered in his ear and felt Aidan respond, wrapping his arms around her.

Cassie held him, with the realisation that it would be the only time they would ever be together, knowing this even before he did. Eventually she pulled back to face him.

"I understand, I really do. I can see you still love her Aidan," she told him, "It's up to you where you go from here, but you need time to work out what's really happening with her, not what you're feeling right now straight after being hurt."

Her own words triggered a terrible avalanche of emotions within her and for a moment, she teetered on the cusp of being swept away by them.

Holding him, she let the feelings pass, until she was left with one thought, from Billie of all people. She remembered it and knew it to be true.

"Believe me," she said, "Sometimes the real things are not the same as what we tell ourselves in the dark."

---

They drove back, holding hands and talking. Cassie had feared an awkward silence for the trip home, but the moment at the lookout seemed to have been a watershed for them both. Now, Aidan was driving them through Cassie's neighbourhood, and she knew their journey was nearly over. She had one last question to ask.

"So, what's next?"

Aidan didn't answer immediately, checking his mirrors and then turning into her street. When they pulled up in front of her house, he turned the engine off.

"I think you're right. I need to go somewhere and get my head together. It's not just the cheating, it's everything. That last part is just the icing on the cake."

"Where will you go?"

Aidan stared straight ahead, hands on the steering wheel. Cassie waited for his answer, giving him space.

"I need to go away."

"Move out?"

"More. I need to get away from all of it, go somewhere where I can just be me."

"What will you tell Rosa?"

Aidan's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel, and she was surprised to see tears on his face.

"I don't know Cass. She won't understand. She'll think I just ran away."

He turned to her then and Cassie wrapped her arms around him, feeling his body heave as the emotions finally came out. She felt useless in the face of his pain; all she could do was comfort him until it was over.

At last, he pulled back, running the heel of his hand beneath his eyes to wipe away the moisture.

"Fuck," he gasped, "What a mess. Crying like a fucking baby."

"It's okay. It's good."

His eyes searched hers, and she had the sinking feeling that this was the last time she would ever see him.

"I'm not helping anyone by staying. I'm just perpetuating."

Cassie hugged him again and then opened the car door. She looked back at Aidan and flashed him a smile.

"Thank you, Cass," Aidan said, "Thank you for everything."

Cassie climbed out but before she closed the door she looked back.

"Wherever you go," she said, "I wish you all the luck in the world. You deserve it."

"Yeah, maybe," Aidan laughed, and Cassie found herself laughing too.

"Somewhere far from here. Somewhere past all this," he said and waved a hand, "A place beyond the horizon."

Cassie closed the door and Aidan drove away. She watched the car for as long as she could, before he turned the corner at the end of the street and was lost from view. Even then, she didn't move. There was an implacable urge inside her, an acknowledgement of not only losing a friend but of the decision he had brought her to. She looked up at the sky, at the puffy white clouds painted against the peerless blue, feeling the sunlight on her face.

Nearly, but he had pulled away. Cassie had been ready, no doubt remaining, ready to make the leap and finding there was no remorse, no guilt. Damian and Lily together was an undeniable fact: it was over.

But still, there was something that Lily made her feel, the submission but also something else, and now at last, standing in front of her house in the suburbs in the warm sunshine, she was finally able to separate the two. Cassie had responded to Lily at first through the trauma of finding her husband in bed with another woman, then through the cruelty and the worthlessness and the way it twisted her up inside.

But there was something beyond all that, a thing she had never acknowledged to herself until now. Cassie got out her phone and selected a number.