All Comments on 'When the Time is Right'

You need to introduce your characters better. You start with a son eyeing his mom climbing out of the pool. You then have a flashback detailing what went wrong with her marriage and how the son groped his mother whenever he could without her consent. Suddenly he's having a conversation with you have to assume is his mother talking about someone named Genevieve. Who the he'll is she? I stopped reading as it was too confusing.

I agree with you "SEX4LF57" (sorry for the caps)

But yes, some how her daughter ended in in the picture it was confusing. I didn't read it all, I just skipped parts. Still, then saying that she wanted him to rape her. In the beginning about her crying about it or whatever.

Even if I do have the details mixed up, this story didntbreally make sense. I will give this a 0 if I could.

Yep. New characters materializing out of thin air. Flashbacks with no point of reference. Confusing. Didn’t finish the story.

Weird.....

Good idea but poorly written.

I have to agree with those readers who justifiably panned this story.

I tried to vary my usual writing style to create an atmosphere of mystery, leading up to the final revelation, and I failed dismally, creating instead an air of confusion, leading to disappointment.

Sorry folks, I'll try to do better in my current project.

You can still make something out of this I liked it just wasn't any build up i think you should re write it and keep the daddy thing goin i like that taboo

What I think this is that you tried to use two different timelines 18 years apart but never really explained it.

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As far as I can tell is that

1) her marriage went bad

2) her son seduced her (almost to the point of non-consensual)

3) they had a daughter

4) for some reason, he never leaves, staying with his mother the next 18 years

5) they continued the sexual relationship while she grows up, maintaining the story that she is his daughter and only his sister

6) when she's of age, she is seduced and her true parentage is revealed only at the very end with one statement.

well not only did he get his mom pregnant with her, now shes of age and hes going to impregnate her too!! awesome.

Liked the story but when you started adding a sister to the mix I knew she was his daughter cause when her husband left she only had a son but still a good read 4 stars

Not really a good story, you need to work on your story writing. Was this written by a 12 year old?