All Comments on 'When Two Become One'

Good story, but your writing is a little choppy. Working with a good editor would raise your level a lot. Keep it up.

Story good but you obviously didn't proof-read what you wrote. That made it very frustrating.

Part 2???

We need a part 2

GREAT story. It needs some more chapters.

Thanks for the comments, I have decided I will take this down in a few days and get it edited correctly as requested.

Not a bad story although it's hard to believe that Tom was such a wimp about her. If they really talked about everything why didn't he tell her (and why didn't she already know) how much he cared for her (and how much she really cared for him)?

Is it too much to expect that an author spend a while re-reading his/her work to find the spelling and grammatical errors. And the significant number of incorrect words and missing words. I'm not sure I could struggle through another chapter of this botched writing. 4* because it does have promise.

I have to agree with Overcritical's first paragraph. I do want to see a part 2 or more

I did notice that you had words out of place Typos~ "of" instead of "off"

in one spot I could not tell is she was calling Tom, Steven or using Steven as her reason for not making love to Tom ""But Steven... why do you have to be so you?" She said with so much hesitation"

Really enjoyed it, looking forward to part 2.

But as with many long stories, proof reading it yourself may lead to skipping bits and missing mistakes.