All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 04C'

4b was a big let down, and truthfully I am still not sure it was needed. However, you at least fleshed it out and filled in some of the gaps with this one. The writing in this chapter was a lot better paced and the dialogue up to your previous standards.

Too long. Too much irritating detail. More evidence that Debbie is selfish and clueless, but of course, now there is a chance that some tragic event in her recent past triggered all of this. As much as some "flash" stories leave me wanting more, right now I wish this story had more of those qualities.

well done! keep righting and dont listen to those no-name critics that do not know talent! maybe this stinky vagina person is the real life debbi.

This guy is the most intense author since H20Wader. Twists, turns, up, down - you never know what to expect. Very powerful writing and unusual character development. Very moving dialogue with the daughter. Am glad that Debbie is seeing a shrink, but I'm not sure he can do much to cure her narcissism. Fascinating and it is a good thing there's not another chapter posted or I'd be up even later.

I like 4c much better than 4b, and it tied up loose ends. I'll have to reread it when I'm not so tired.

It seems that whatever happened to Clarice is the key to Debbie's anger (hatred?!?) toward Bill. I'm guessing either she (Clarice) died in a manner that Bill could have/should have prevented, or she was killed, and Bill didn't get a conviction of the guy who did it. Or maybe never prosecuted for some reason.

You need to get that hot young redhead "under" him and he won't want to be "over" Debbie ever again. Of course, reconnecting with Aline would do it too. The world continues to turn and it is sometimes good to have friends in low places.

You are going to have good chapters and bad chapters. This is so much like life and people forget: to have good you almost have to have bad in order to show the contrast.

Commentators here are so critical without having the whole story. What a great story! Also I noted that you closed a chapter and character in the death of the priest going to Africa. Also in the beheading of that drugger...I liked that. Seemed like you were getting too many irons fired up and I wondered how you were going to know which one to use in the right place at the right time...

Great Story! Wish I could write like that. There is nothing in life that can compete with a great story teller. Thanks for the great ongoing entertainment. When finally done I will be disappointed to not have a new chapter to look forward to each week.

I love this story and riding along on the journey your taking the reader on. I may be in the minority but I hope Bill and Debbie find the way back to each other.

Great conversations; Bill's talk with Kelly and the very real interaction between Bill and Debbie highlighted the Chapter for me. I'm sorry to see Bill depicted so immature. Debbie did well to ignore a few of his "pot shots" at her.

`

Regardless of Bill's love for Debbie, it would be useless to reconcile unless the good doctor works his magic. Both need help and both would benefit regardless of whether or not Bill and Debbie make it back together. Should the therapy work, reconciliation would IMNSHO be the best route for both to take.

`

News flash for the "all Bill needs is a good fuck" contingent: unless he handles his issues they will continue to follow him the rest of his life.

try harder. never seen any story like this, having highest potential in first chapter and then most meaningless chapter (this one), it is going down, it seems now out of your hand, I assume you will be playing like this till you decide to end the story, best of luck.

So sue me is all I can say to all the detractors. Ok so I'm probably biased beyond redemption . . . I am not a fair critic at this point. I am simply wrapped up in the characters and their personalities. Even Debbie has become almost bearable . . . at least to me. I continue to admire and encourage DQS1. I am so looking forward to more of WWWM. Thank you again.

Debbie said she was the one who raised thier kids and Bill was never there for them, we can see it all, how well they were raised, even if you put all the blame on bill for their marrige failure, Debbie is the one responsible for thier Sick kids, If she had been home, REALLY taking care of kids, and then slutting around, we could have said she tired. But she lost her hopes way before Bill did. She said , "he should have been more forceful," wTF authors is trying to make her actions justifyable by explaining her needs, it could have been justified but you really messed up everything, he forced her we all had seen and what she said about him after that, we all know, I think DQS should for more good reasons for her behaviour, so explained reasons are self contradicting.

Just blew me away. Perfect.

It's still is a very exciting novel and I'm waiting for the next installment.

Thanks

It is like real life, I suppose, but are we supposed to identify with these folks?

I guess the talk with Kelly was meaningful; but except for that little 5 minute dialogue, 99% of the chapter, like everyone since the first one or two, is just total nonsense. Or I should say, REPEATED total nonsense.

Most here want to see Bill and What's-Her-Face find their way back to each other. But I don't necessarily think that is the best ending here.

Bill has become more self-assured and has experienced some real growth. What's-Her-Face hasn't really. Oh she is probably the most "real" of the characters by far but I haven't seen any growth that would bring them back together. She hasn't even admitted any real remaining feelings for him. She's still pretty emotionally stunted with Bill.

This is what I would write:

After the well telegraphed crisis between the bad guy and Bill's family and his probably saving of their lives and Jax as we know it, dare I day it?, i wouldn't have the two get back together. What's-Her-face winds up with Abbott, and Bill goes on to an even better prosecutor than before.

Remember, it was foreshadowed by the priest that maybe Bill will have to sacrifice in order to do what he does best which is make the state of Florida safe for democracy.

DQS2 has done a great job of showing us how a marriage falls apart and the people involved deal with the aftermath. I really see no reason to get the 2 together again. In fact, to me, it would seem very forced.

Well, that is my take.

Good job, DQS2, and

Best Regards

Chagrined

DQS1 writes well but after having read his other stories and the direction this one has been taking I'm going to call this the end of my reading his work. I guess others enjoy this type of plot/storyline but it doesn't appeal to me any more and the direction this story is headed now is pretty obvious. I might be wrong but even if I am I'm done reading.

I really do appreciate the twists and turns of the story, even though I can see (I think) a vector developing. This is much more like a novel with complex characters and plot than a simple porno story. Please keep going -- I'm curious as to whether I'm guessing correctly where you're headed.

"I'm not that dumb blond that most men think I am just because I have big breasts and I'm beautiful." Actually she really IS a dumb blond, and stupid as well.

keep 'em coming, looking forward to more

THANKS. I'll keep looking for next installation.

Seriously, this would make a hell of a movie!

Rock on. drmike

I stayed near Amelia Island with relatives and visited the community swimming pool. There were two big titted blondes there watching their kids. Of course they were attractive sluts and I had no doubt that one or both would invite me back to their home to screw my brains out. It was Jacksonville and there were big titted sluts, right? Somehow, with my luck, I had bumped into the only two faithful wives in North Florida, damn it to hell!

I was pleased to get rid of a couple of the characters in this story, even though it required their demise, so it would be easier for me to follow. I am hoping the next chapter has a flood or tornado that eliminates about ten more characters. I will then be able to put away my score card and keep things straight in my head!

Debbie is having dream of MURDERING her ...at the time...loving husband in bed becuase Bill got older and flabby and worked too hard.

Gee what do you think THAT means Folks?

For one thing it means size14show is shown again to be a delusional crackpot.

If you go back and read the exchanges between Myself and size14shoe in the last chapter you will seee he argued strongly against my assertion that Debbie is mentally ill and that there was nothing seriously wrong with debbie.

size 14shoe in a stunning case of rationalism and moral relativisim

wrote " she like sex. I like sex".

Now we see she has had this dreeam --perhaps more than Once?-- LONG before she started cheating... of Brutally Murdering Bill in their marriage bed whle he is sleeping.

For NO REASON AT ALL except that Bill got older and Flabby.

yeah debbie is prefectly Normal. No sign of mentall illness there....

Thank-you for your efforts. Many, many of us appreciate them.

As for the rest, the complainers out here in reader land ... No-one makes you read this - or any - story. If the stories too long, or too complex for you, well there's plenty of single page 'jerk off' stories out there.

this was easily the best chapter in a while. If you noticed I have NOT complained ...at all... about the lenght or the soap opera nature of the story .

IfMO if one is ging to read this... and get into it then dont do that. To some I suppose this is too long or too convoluted .

OK. Then stop reading it. For me I think some chapters are Good a few are bad some ..like this one ...is very good.

The CLARICE observation someone made is a darn good one.

as a rule IF Your wife has vivid dreams about Blowing you fucking head off while you sleep ....

.....reconciliation would NOT seem the best way to go .

But hey thats just me .

Once again I thoroughly enjoyed reading this on going saga. This was, by far the best chapter written.

Great writing this chapter moves the story along beautifully wish I had the skill of an author Ignore the Nay-Sayers oh what fools those humans be Looking forward to the next chapterS

In my humble opinion the magic in your story for me is that you have struck the perfect balance of blame, recrimination and loathing between the husband and wife I find myself hoping the best for both of them very unusual for me to do for a story in this catagory

Good Chapter. Probally the best so far. Brought a lot of new information to light. Looking forward to the next installment.

I sense the conclusion is in sight, whatever that conclusion may be. Bill, with an ill deserved and ill conceived Angel of Death moniker, is finally allowing his inate sense of humanity to show toward his family. DQS as author is finally making very clear what has been obvious to some that Debbie is a quite intelligent, forceful, competent woman of some integrety and common sense. She may well be a bit selfish and self centered at this point in her life, but she was never the "cheating slut" some readers have wanted to paint her as.

There are still enough ends to tie and paths that may well be explored by author that When We may well continue to chapter 5, 6, 7 etc. I for one hope the story continues because it is one I look for every day. There may be some truth to the soap opera appellation, but mother watched them for many years and got a lot of pleasure. Clancy and WEB Griffin use essentially the same style to make millions. I have a feeling DQS could give serious thought about his day job without much worry for the future.

Really worth the wait. You have the gift. It is time for you to get a really good editor and an agent.

I at one time lived there in Jax, and was married to the daughter of a police captain. That phrase if they aren't guilty of this crime, they are guilt of something hit it out of the park.

Thanks.

fantastic. Can't wait to see what happens.

I read through the comments. Don't let the haters get to you. This is a writing web site if people don't like it don't read it. Too many haters just like to see there own words to put down someone writing.

As for me this was a great chapter. Excellent character development. I really enjoy the rich background you give the characters to show them as human as possilble. Both chapters I enjoyed best where with the psychologist. Very will written with some of the science of mental health thrown in with a true cut out of some of the BS in the field.

You have completed a lot of research in this story to be so accurate and effective. The research is visible to me and makes this story above what is the mostly written on this site.

My greatest fear since you have me hooked into reading this work is you will not end this story and it will languish like many other stories I have found on this site where the author has just stopped writting!! Please keep writing I will keep reading and giving my rating but not always feedback.

Ken from Indy (one day I hope to get my account back up again)

Still a great story...but the many many characters that came form old stories/will be in new stories started to clog it up.... give us the main story.... heck the aside with the shrink and his other patient was ... unnecessary IMO.

now... we ALL know something happened with the relative's death, that will be the great situation and might be too late for her to fix the marriage when she understands it is HER fault (in her head ) why the marriage failed.

Not to say he didn't HELP but at she did the major actions

Heck she even admitted HERE that she didn't talk to Bill.

NOW something I really noticed...she doesn't talk about Bill ignoring her...she talks about how he got fat ON HER.

And that when she decided to get rid of him... HE goes out and gets fit again...BUT it's either how I am reading it or how it's written but it comes across as he got fat to hurt her and NOW is fit ...yup... to hurt HER.

Add that to the shot her husband dream and that gal has some MAJOR repressed anger at him.

IF, and right now I am in the let the marrage die crowd, we are to get them back together... we have to get some major and I mean MAJOR filling of the crater she has created.

I know I know Bil loves her blah blah, WE the readers HAVE to see and feel her fill the crater to feel it was a good recon.

Take another of your stories... the husband and wife drift apart. She cheats with his best friend. And she says she is NOT sorry. That ONE LINE soured the recon for most of us...well that and his NOT telling her why he was mad at her in the first place that crated the rift (for those who are lost, reread the story and pay attention for the 'NOW you cry ' line).

That's why we have the cliche of the tribulation ... for the wife to do some major and minor actions to bring the husband back to her. BUT first WE the readers have to see WHY she has that anger...and have her go "oh crap... that... that's just crap... I a have been a child and I have lost it all..I want him back...but how?"

Well harry/shoe... what do you think of my points/comments? might as well give you another target... you've shot each other to death.

There is NO GUN registration in Florida. Minor issue, but for accuracy's sake you could adjust that line.

Oh, and just for old times sake.....NO reconciliation. It's obvious the bitch is insane about Billy....

This chapter wa superb. In my earlier comments, I remarked on how I felt that the whole family need help from a "shrink". I STILL BELIEVE THAT RECONCILLIATION IS GOING TO HAPPEN. With all the twists and turns this story is taking, I don't mind if you take six months to finish it. I feel that this story is that well written. keep up the good work. I look forward to many more chapters.

This would make an excellent novel. Thank you again for sharing it with us! As always I can't wait for the next chapters and as Paul Harvey would say "the rest of the story"

~S

I really enjoyed this episode! Please keep going.......

..im getting a little confused. hopefully, this wont be your last story on this site. this is an excellent series. well, till next week.

Dint know about Harry and Shoe, but good comments and timely analysis.

The most important thing I believe you came up with is that "DEBBIE IS A CRAZY, NUTTY BROAD".

Question: I dint have time to go back and research it right now, but wasn't Clarice described as Debbie's aunt in an earlier chapter, and Bill said in this chapter that Clarice was Debbie's younger sister?

Just asking.

Tom

Your chapters have become one of those things I check for first whenever I come up on this site!

Thanks!

H -

The ship has not yet left. Aline is still close by for two or three more days. Interesting ain't it?

Excellent chapter. I have not read between the lines yet. I always read the Gospel According to Shoe first, then I'm up to snuff and and can see the big picture. For sure.

Keep em coming.

Kind of disappointed you magical negro'd the supervillain drug dealer out of the picture so fast, though. Though disappointment in this story is really no surprise. Still, I look forward to finding out his wife is a KGB sleeper agent or whatever bullshit you're going to pull with the split personality garbage you're hinting at.

This chapter together with chapters 1 and 2D are the best yet if I had to choose. Both Debbie and Bill gain ground in starting to put their lives together. They're supported by excellent performances by Dr. Ernest Telle, M.D. and Clint Abbott. Bill shows his strength of character by standing up for what's right (again) speaking with a leader of the Afro-American community and a powerful underworld black leader. Dr. Teller and Clint Abbott's strong performances add to already strong performances by Lew Walters, Cathy, Debbie's mother (I wish that she had more of a role than 4 phone conversations), Aline, and Myra. CQS, please try to post new chapters at least every 5 days. Despite the strength of the story, readers have a lot going on in their own lives and tend to forget details of the story.

Clarice is not Debbie's younger sister, she's Debbie's father's — "baby sister". Read Chapter 03B — Page no.3 — the conversation between Debbie, and her mom.

~Kelly~

I'm really enjoying this series although I would welcome the opportunity to smack both Bill and Debbie upside the head, her at least once and him at least twice. For me a happy ending would be for both of them to finally mature into adulthood but I'm happy to follow along wherever it goes.

I love this story. You surprise me at every turn. Can't wait to see what happens next. These characters are larger than life. But I think they connect to us because of their frailties. I can't believe it but I'm actually pulling for them to get together again. Though unlike many here, I won't even attempt to predict any more that it or anything else will happen. I loved the part between Bill and Debbie and his daughter. You are a really great writer. I don't know about a movie, but these characters would make for a very fun TV show.

Kelly <p>

I haven't read the paragraph you refered to but this was in today's story. <P>

"I stood there for a second but there was nothing I could say to that. I went on back to what had been Debbie's younger sister Clarice's room years before. Now Cathy and Roy kept it as a guest bedroom."

I think having the guy who threatened his family killed by someone else, essentially handled by someone else, so that Bill's hands would be clean of murder, was a bit cheap. Essentially it means that the drama of that whole minor plot was really just a tease. You set up a story line, where you gave your main character a problem that it seemed would cause him to go against his very nature and then you let him off the hook, I don't know, to me, it feels kind of like you cheated.

I mean, really, I think I'm speaking for most on this site when I'm begging you to take a few weeks off of work, your family, your life, and everything else and just get this damned thing finished! The wait to find out what happens next is really . . . really . . . well, it sucks.

This, of course, is because this is the most interesting story I've ever read on this site. Not only does it have a plethora of (mostly) interesting characters, it has everything else as well. Let's see, we have the slut, blonde bimbo, but really smart wife; the clueless, but now really pissed off, top prosecutor; the head DA who's banging an alluring secretary; the kids who are, truth be told, all too typical teenagers; the young professor hunk banging everything in site; the visiting professor cum writer who's an actual gentleman; the psychiatrist who doesn't seem to actually want to bang one of his clients; and gangsters galore! Oh, and did I forget to mention the hot-looking, wild-fucking French chick?

Now, take all of that, put in superb writing ability, kill some people here and fuck a few there and, yeah, it reads like a soap opera. Still, it's a soap opera I'd actually watch. Either way, I haven't run across anything this good on this site to date.

So please hurry!

I believe there are 2 Clarice's mentioned in the story. One is Debbie's younger sister and the other is Roy's (Debbie's father's) baby sister. I recall that the former was named after Roy's sister.

Clarice is Deb's sister and was her aunt. The quote:

"Clarice was your father's baby sister. He helped raise her. He was the one that insisted that we name your sister after her. It nearly killed him when he heard she was gone."

I suggest Excel, but paper and pencil will work. By the way, you can cross off the priest, the Aunt Clarice, the Gangster that threatened Bill's family, Bill's dad, and the horse they rode in on.

The next chapter(s) we'll see Aline's husband fly in to visit her while she's in port and then end up banging debbie as a segway to Bill and Aline getting together again after Aline catches her husband and Debbie in bed together. Doug will stick around in the shadows till kelly's 18th birthday then set her up for a gangbang to get even with Bill for breaking his nose and ruining his pretty face where BJ will try to save his sister and get his ass royally kicked till Debbie shows up just before Bill and offers to take Kelly's place willingly if they let her daughter and son go then Bill will show up and put everyone in jail after he shoots doug and leaves a throw away gun. Maybe the dead priest will visit Bill in his dreams to offer some holy advice. In the end Debbie will realize how she fucked everything up right about the time that Bill hooks up with her younger, hotter and more sane sister then he decides to go into private practice and move away and works 30 hours a week, spends 10 in the gym and all his other free time banging Clarice. Debbie sees them together at a family holiday, get depressed and despondent then goes off and hangs herself in her and Bill's old bedroom. At Debbie's funeral Bill realizes he's over Debbie and has a good little laugh to himself. The End.

bartolo — you were absolutely right about two “Clarice’s” one is, of course Debbie’s aunt the other one is her younger sister. I read Chapter 03B – Page.3 and that conversation between Cathy (Debbie’s mom) and Debbie, I read that small paragraph — “He didn’t say a word… — Clarice was your father’s “baby sister” — AND I stopped there, didn’t read it further — haha, my bad <)))

CarlosC — yes, you are right too. Actually there was “confusion” whether Clarice was Debbie’s aunt or (as highlighted in this chapter) her sister. The problem is Debbie’s younger sister is hardly in the picture, and as we all are aware about Clarice, those nightmares, and all…it confuses a bit if we don’t have “track records”

Thanks for correction.

~Kelly~

Yes, you are right too, actually there was “confusion” whether Clarice was Debbie’s aunt or (as highlighted in this chapter) her sister. The problem is Debbie’s younger sister is hardly in the picture, and as we all are aware about Clarice, those nightmares, and all…it confuses a bit if we don’t have “track records”

P.S — *SIGH* I don't know why my comments are only half.

~Kelly~

It is all ready probably over 100,000 word! (I bet that some one will count

them all so he can say that I am a know-nothing moron). You know that

it would make a really fine film.

There was a lot of action in this chapter and some fine dialogue. Two moments stand out in my mind, the first where he says to Reverend Sir

politician, that he knows that there is only one rascist in the room, and

the other when he finishes the chapter saying a prayer for Father Donleavy's

soul. Beautiful!

DQS1,

Great! Write your story. I/we're reading it. Reading it with great anticipation and hope you are having as much fun as we are.

Thanks for writing and sharing on Lit.

X

I've seen 59 comments (counting mine) on a chapter in a serial story, but you sure are worth it. I am trusting that the good Dr. Teller's work will lead Debbie and Bill to a proper and very good ending.

Went back and read as you suggested. I thought I remembered Clarice was Debbie's aunt, as I thought the woman in Debbie's dream was the ghost of her mother, and was later corrected by some people and the author also when he brought out the face that Clarice was in fact Debbie's aunt.

Thanks again.

Tom

Oh Sweet Mother of Mercy! Finally...finally someone appears in this story with whom I'd gladly enjoy a beer; thank you DQS1 for Dr. Ernst Teller. Okay make that two characters - Clint seems like an okay guy and you might as well toss in the Public (my what big hands you have) Defender too.

Okay so I was wrong about who was going to off Deavon, not the fact there of.

I think HDK should post his score sheet of characters; no doubt Clarice the Younger (sister) is going to figure in this somewhere.

Anyway, good story - great chapter - excellent...hey how about a RECONCILIATION pool.

Bill/Debbie - 9/1 against

Debbie/Kelly - 2/1 for

Debbie/BJ - even money

Debbie/UNF - no chance in hell

Feel free to cut/copy your own characters and odds.

some of the information. And finally we get to know at least one of the children slightly better. And while I understand just how angry Bill is, he may want to look into a little therapy too: he is not listening to his about- to-be ex wife at all and barges in on her life and then acts like a 12 year old. He is a better man than that. She is showing more maturity right now than he is as she finally begins to look more closely at her self. I am really enjoying this and look forward to further chapters. Thank you for your quality on-going efforts. PS: How about a little more with the son.

Many readers have expressed the opinion that there are no clear reasons for Bill and Debbie to reconcile. I disagree. Our Heavenly Father wants them to reconcile and stop violating their marriage vows. I don't see how good Christain readers can suggest otherwise. GET REAL PEOPLE!!

Bill could not go to the house and he knows it .

Debbie Think about it Kelly will not talk to her and wants to fuck her fuck buddy Bill Jr. wants nothing to do with her husband of 18 years can not stomach to talk to her let along look at her she has lost her job she is told to her face people think she is a slut and she goes on a date ! WTF she believes she a good mother and smart I must be reading a different story. Bill should thank his lucky starts that he is rid of her.

i see this as a HBO series replacing Big Love. Just so i can see Debbie and Alline in the flesh.

But who would play Bill? Any ideas people?

Kepp 'em coming big guy

By far, this is one of the best chapter in this story. The characters are now start to come together. Slowly, Bill is start to be more of a man with confidence. The initial shock of Debbie is having an affair (physical or emotional) is almost kills him (or his character). He is withdrawed and lost his sense of life other than his job. After the cruise trip, the story brings out the human side of Bill. Debbie in the other hand, very gradually, begin to feel the effect of her doing (but still does not understand what she has destroyed, very sad). Debbie's father says well in this chapter "she will crawl back to Bill and hope that Bill will remember that she was a good wife and a good mother for a very long time".

With all these said, I do not agree reconcillation will be a good ending. Cheating is bad enough, but think of this. Debbie, openly flirt with Doug and other men (even Kelly said strongely on this about her mother in this chapter) shows no respect to her husband or to her family. She brings her young stud "Doug" home and openly have a sexual relationship in front of her children for months is the worst of any wife or ex-wife to rub a husband's nose. Getting a restrain order to keep Bill away and have the courage to say that this is still his home is obsurd. IMHO, no man in this planet will forget and forgive on what Bill has been through. What have Bill done wrong, getting fat and old? OMG, I could not imagine what Debbie will do to Bill if he has an affair (kill the whole family?)

I love this story. A few chapters are a bit slow paced and may be slightly out of focus (what are we talking about, a broken marriage and a sick woman). However, I think this chapter definitely brings back the spark between Bill and Debbie (finally a face to face confrontation about Kelly and Doug). On this subject, a father has all the right to protect his children. Bill should get a court order to restrain Debbie from his children (Kelly has oral sex with the lover of her mother "Doug" in his bedroom because Debbie thinks Kelly and BJ are out, give me a break).

DQS1, please know that we are waiting. Take your time but please do not let your fans waiting too long (but do not comprimise your talented writing).

Two of his novels became movies. He said "this author has talent, but if he listens to the commenters who love this, he will never realize his potential." He went on to tell me that nearly everyone who read the first draft of his first novel loved it and told him it should be a movie. If he would have listened to them, he said, he never would have made it. His novel went through six complete revisions before it was truly ready. So, DQS, my advice to you: enjoy the praise of those who love this version, but realize that you have a long way to go if you want to realize your obvious talent.

Jerry in Washington State, USA - I was wondering how the criminal that threatened Bill's family would be taken care of. I figured Case would be involved somehow. I'm glad that specific danger is gone. I have no idea how this story is going to end, but I'm enjoying the journey. I enjoy your writing and you have made me care about the characters. I look forward to what happens next, and next, and next ... Thank you for a well written and itneresting story.

I have to say that I've been following this from the first installment, and I've rarely been so riveted and enthralled by the stories on Literotica as I've been by this series.

The author has been able to do what few have been able to do on this site - namely, been added to my favorites list.

Can't wait for the next installment. I feel like a junkie 'cause I keep checking, almost every day, the authors profile to see if another part of the story has been posted.

I thought this was the second best chapter of the story and gave it 5 stars. There were hardly any writing or other technical errors and the dialogue was really superb. I still have a problem with Bill's use of brass knuckles on Doug -- might as well bring a sap or similar weapon -- clearly, the fight was not a draw since Bill would probably have done much worse without that advantage, let alone the surprise attack that he pulled. But that was the previous chapter and this one made up for it.

It was very believable (other than the combination of a ritual Islamist killing -- i.e., the separation of the victim's head from his body, plus the ritual Mafia insult with the genitalia stuffed into the mouth). A professional hit would have been two caps to the noggin, with or without the dick-in-mouth disorder. Severing a head from a body takes great force and special tools -- a broad sword, a guillotine, or a skilled surgeon -- not to mention quite a bit of time. And of course, there would be blood all over the place, with tracks from the one who did the job. Messy as all get out (to use a cliche or two).

The other little plot hole -- security videotapes are usually recorded off-site, not on the premises. This is to prevent a perp from taking the tapes while doing the crime.

One can cut the camera wires, but the recording (now actually done with DVR and/or DVD recorders, not VHS tapes) will show the individual who is cutting the wires, just before the camera quits. It will have shown the person driving up to the prison, checking in, and then sneaking up to one or more cameras to inactivate them. So there would actually be quite a lot of clues as-to who did the job. If this story gets published after one or more revisions, perhaps this will be part of the corrected info.

Despite these little nit-picking issues, I'm really enjoying this and can't wait until the next part(s) is/are ready. Thanks for writing.

I was trying to fill my wife in on the latest few chapters, when it hit me that the many twists and turns are what have hooked me for good. There are subplots in subplots, and they keep this story interesting. I always look forward to the next posting, and for me, at least, the time between gives me a chance to go back and digest what is happening. I'm having no trouble following the many characters so far. Thanks for keeping this going.

After 4b I think that I said that I would check back in several chapters down the line to see how things were going. I might have been a little bit too critical. In any event, the thing that made this chapter better imho was the dialogue that Bill has with Debbie followed by the talk that he had with Kelly. We learn more about the characters when they interact with each other. At some point throughout this series of chapters, Bill and Debbie have to talk. To me that is the story. It seems that many of the supporting characters that have come and gone were and are just ancillary and that has gotten tiring to try to keep track of and it keeps the main players in this saga from interacting. I don't know whether Bill and Debbie will find there way back together or not, only DQS1 knows that. But frankly, if he splits them up, it will be absolutely grueling to have to read about Debbie's conquest of Clint Abbot. After all she is irresistable and he won't be able to deny her if she asks him to fuck her in Bill's bed! Who cares who else she screws to punish Bill? We've already spent the better part of this tale wading through her conquest of Doug. For what ever "ending" is in store, I hope that DQS1 gives Bill, Kelly and B.J., the three other main characters whose lives Debbie has torn to shreds, their happy endings first. We've heard enough about Debbie. She has spent months screwing Doug in Bill's house, in front of Bill's kids, on Bill's bed to punish Bill for untold crimes against their marriage. She is a slut!! She think's that she is the girl with the golden pussy!! She assumes that she can disgard any man she wants and offer herself to the next one and her life will be great and everyone will understand her and look over her behavior because afterall she is a beautiful women and that gives her the right to be a slut. Hell, she even bounced her tits and shook her ass in the hallways of the college where she worked so the students and faculty would notice. She even thought about seducing her husband's divorce lawyer. I still don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems that Debbie is going to probably have a go with Clint Abbot and that might finally end this tragedy of a marriage between her and Bill once for all. I hope before that happens, though that DQS1 gives Bill the chance to tell Debbie face to face that he has found a prettier woman with better tits and a nicer ass who is better in bed than she ever was. On top of that, his new lady loves him and his two kids more than she, Debbie, ever did. Anyway, I am hooked so I will be waiting on the next installment! Thanks for sharing! Ohio, USA

I am here to tel DQS1 that this is my favorite story here. I check every day to see if he posted anything new. Keep up the excellent work and if possible speed it up a little, not the story but the time between chapters. Thank you again for a great read.

There are two characters names 'Clarice.' Yes, one was Debbie's aunt, but her younger sister was named after Aunt Clarice. I am not sure which one died five years ago.

you started it good, but you spoiled all the fun by stretching it.

good luck for rest of the story

First I would not have gone in to the house Bill is absolutely correct it is no longer his house Debbie defiled it. ( by the way in the real world Bill will get half of the value when Bill Jr turns 18) also I would have said it is your fault Kelly was in the position she was in you should have never let that dickhead in this house I always thought you were a good mother how wrong I was. another think Thank you for making me a laughing stock. do you know how many people have come to me since we separated and told me how your were sluting around for years. Debbie I trusted you ! What a fool I was you can tell me a 1000 times you never fucked anyone before the separation and I would not believe you. and you want to talk ! may be friends ? well friends don't stab friends in the back. Deb eat shit and die. and Bill walks out before she can respond.

It started out strong.

Then it seemed to go down hill and there were a few episodes that seemed to get us nowhere, and were boring.

For the last few episodes things seem to be getting better, and this one was very good.

Now I can't wait for more. Please hurry.

Sally-B

A great read so far. I really do enjoy the twists and turns in the story; however it would be better if the prospective antagonist just murdered stayed around longer and not just a chapter or two. Better still, keep all the main characters, both protagonists and antagonists, in the story all the way through in some form or fashion until the phenomenal ending we all know is coming! Keep up the good work.

I think Chapter 4B was rushed and your writing style suffered somewhat. You were under tremendous pressure to deliver it and, instead of telling us to take a hike and wait for the next episode like the good little freeloaders we are, you moved up a gear.

This chapter seems like a reversion to your earlier style and I think that is one of the reasons why people like it more. It's less frenetic, smoother and better withstands cast and plot changes whilst maintaining the progression of Bill’s and Debbie’s story.

I cannot remember any other serialized story where I’ve had such a high level of anticipation and interest. Please keep up the good work at YOUR leisure.

This one I liked. A bunch of stuff was spot on. Let me list them. The conversation with Bill and Kelly was great and showed Bill stepping up and showing us the couth he likely had before his marriage blew up. The Bill and Debbie talk, and the talk with Cliff were handled very well. Cliff comes off as a sensible decent guy. I liked how Bill couldn't resist the little jabs and how Debbie didn't really have any good comebacks because she's the less verbal of the two. The interaction between Debbie and the shrink was very true to life (though any shrinks that actually give the patient 55 minutes of the hour, bless them, bless them!) I liked how he drew out Debbie's anger issue. The whole business about Debbie's anger really has been around in one way or another ever since Chapter 1, and I don't think we have been given a real clue what could be the cause. Bill's story is told in first-person so he easily could not remember or simply have declined so far to talk about what it was. It could in theory be a non-Bill thing, but that does not seem to be the way DQS1 is leading us. I wonder, would any of the various failings Debbie has complained about repeatedly be sufficient to cause that much anger, even in a person who has been presented to us as not always totally reasonable? I have my own views, but I'd actually like to hear from some of the women who are reading this story as to what their answers to this question might be. Feel free to send me feedback if you don't want to put something out to the whole board but still are moved to reply. Finally, I didn't much like 4B but one thing done well in that segment was how DQS2 set up the situation by which Tyrone would get notified of Deaven's threat against Bill's family, and how at the start of 4C it came out Tyrone sort of owed Bill one for not throwing the book at Tyrone's little brother when he easily could have done so. Maybe the threat went away a little too fast to be totally satisfying from a story standpoint, but I thought it was a little too much of a distraction from the core of the story, which really is about Bill and Debbie's separate emotional struggles and how these impact the people around them. I liked the bit after the end of the Bill-Debbie conversation where Bill realizes that although he thinks he's completely through with her. he realizes with a certain amount of chagrin that he still is not over her emotionally and sexually and won't be for a while. Very nice job say I.

try harder, you can again make it better and interesting,

Stories should be believable. This isn't. If there has to be so many people to get someone straight, and so many positive incidents, then this is just fantasy, first she had Friend who is very observing and intelligent (Refused to have sex with her?), her Psychiatrist ( which we see now, when everything is going ok, where was she when bad things were happening or were they talking about parties then, and now Daug gone she come to tell her, her problems?), A new Doc (who happens to know Bill, and will probably give best advice), University President (He somehow come to remember his wife after three months? and now give her lecture on morality, and fidelity?), He new Boss (who also seemed to good sensed person, telling her how wrong she was), he mothers(she was doing it from starting, but she wud probably tell her about what bill told Kelly), He daughter (She tell her about how much of slut she had been), Her son (Now he tells everything to Daddy, mind , he was not even happy to talk to him) , It like everything was planned, right after 3 months they start acting immidiatly together, where were they for 3 months, OR even they NOW thinks Bill is good for Debbie, because he started looking good now, wtf, one , two, three,....how many all goods are needed to straighten a woman, not forgetting removing only one Bad one(Daug, what could have happened if he was there, he came broke the almost broken marriage, banged a married woman, left everything messed up, ) -- Well this is how it looks when you in defferent direction that you already planned, I know you have ending in mind, but you want to stretch it out longer, well do it, do it well, stetch as much you want, in the end you will have quantity not quality. Its your story, do as it please you. But dont sell bulshit about realising characters or trying to make them real, or trying to make story more real, bbecause you already pushed it in fiction genre.

OK I admit it is long and long winded but I have enjoyed every minute of reading. Sure I came to this site to read erotica but this story cant be put down. You have captured my imagination and I will read every chapter you send forth. To hell with the naysayers keep up the good work. I will remain a FAN. Thank You

Bill should have fucked Debbie on the kitchen table and he should have fucked her in the ass and then he should have made her clean his cock with her mouth. Then he should have fucked kell;y the same way coz she is also a bitch a smaller version of her bitch mom. Both bitches need a good fucking in the ass.

Very nice DQS1. Thanks for wrapping up some of the characters-my scorecard was getting full. I always enjoy most any chapter that has extended segments with the wicked witch (aka Debbie). Like any villain Debbie always makes the chapter more interesting.

DQS1 has the semi blind Public Defender concerned about Debbie’s behavior in an office full of young ambious lawyers. As he should well be!-if Debbie was unable to resist the seduction of pretty boy Doug, what chance does Debbie have in a room full of silver tongued professional liars/lawyers. Debbie may be unable to make to the copy machine before one of the office attorneys has charmed Debbie into bending over in the supply closet. DQS1 still has Debbie in full “slut” mode-she dresses for a job interview with a semi blind public defender so inappropriately-even the blind guy has to tell her how to tone it down. Good thing DSQ1 has Debbie going from Academia to a government job-both places where style matters more than substance. Debbie’s lame line about studying corporate structure being able to help the Public Defender’s office is about as helpful as a virgin talking about sex.

I disagree with the posters who complained about Bill bringing the brass knuckles to the Doug fight. The fight was not a duel to avenge Debbie’s honor. The fight was a simple beat down/punishment for Doug’s action with the daughter Kelly. I am surprised that DSQ1 did not have Bill with a taser, sap –or the old American favorite the baseball bat (tough to swing a ball in an office though). I still hope DSQ1 has Doug encounter more “just deserts” at Bill hands or someone else. It does not seem right that Doug will ride off into the sunset up north and continue to wreck havoc on other lives with his predator lifestyle. It did not seem Doug learned anything after the encounter with Bill. DSQ1 had Doug calling the fight a “mexican standoff”as far as Doug is concerned the fight was a "draw". Most of us would enjoy Bill “pencilfucking” Doug-perhaps one of Bill cronies/friends in low places setting Doug up to end up in a prison work farm for a 90 days (fitting as Doug was banging Debbie for 3 months). A Yankee Professor would be real popular with both guards and inmates in a Florida prison farm.

I also disagree with posters that Bill was acting childish concerning his comments/verbal jabs during the home visit with Debbie. DSQ1 wrote every one of Bills comments to be true. DSQ1 has Debbie/the Wicked Witch get upset because the truth hurts. DSQ1 also leaves Debbie still clueless-Debbie cannot understand why Bill will not enter the house she got a court order to ban him from, where she brought her boy toy (in his bed) then offers Bill her lovers left over beer! Debbie gives dumb blonds a bad name!

Thanks again for the read

You are doing DQS a great disservice. DQS has enormous talent and could become a great writer. However, no one develops their craft to the next level by only listening to the positive commentors. DQS needs to listen to the positive to understand what is working and use it for motivation. And just as importantly, DQS needs to listen to criticism to find ideas for growth.

I've read all the comments to date and a few have real merit as being aimed at assisting the author to improve as an author. Those who want to tell the author the direction the story SHOULD go, seem to believe the author is waiting for a revelation from them before writing. Perhaps they should write their own stories. I like what I've read so far and when the next installment is posted I'll read it as well. Well worth my time. Thank you, author

dont know why people think its that great, it is normal story, the only thing keeping readers here is becaues of all the stress Debbie put Bill through and want to see where it ends, other than that, author is making delay on purpose, he might not know how to write great one but knows how to get people hooked to his story, and he discovered it recently, because he said it is going to be 3 to 4 chapter story, now he discoverd new idea , writing 3A,3B, 4A....believe me if he could put more crap in the story, he will Write 4D1,4D2, etc...why do you want to waste your all vharacters in a average story but popular because of all suspense and delay you hv created, is beyond me, because you coud have written new better stories.

I’ve been greatly disappointed in your last several chapters. Quite frankly, I expected more. You certainly have had enough time. I think you’re sacrificing this story for others that you expect to write. I don’t understand your obsession with linking the characters to future stories. Who really gives a fuck, so some characters in a future story are in WWWM? BFD, I won’t remember or if I do, I won’t bother to refer back to what you wrote in this story. <P>

Quite frankly, I think you’re floundering. The beginning of any story is easy but the bitch is in the conclusion. It is far easier to write these little sub-plots that do nothing to advance this story. The new character Cassel in Teller’s office added nothing to the story. Or is he going to kill his wife and end up a client in the PD office. Even though he obviously has money to afford a psychiatrist. You throw this worthless filler out there yet miss a golden opportunity for Bill to say something about the restraining order when invited into the house. Ok, I understand you are trying to post as quickly as you can. No sympathy from me on that count, it’s your own fault. When Back to Bristol first posted, someone coined the term “Artificial Suspense”. Well you’ve taken it to a different level with your sporadic postings. <P>

There have been comparisons with B2B. I won’t go there. I never thought it was the greatest story on Lit to begin with. I will tell you however that GaryApb is the superior author. So damn sophisticated as the Brits tend to be. You however are closer to Matt Moreau, in your need for self humiliation as manifested by your female characters and their treatment of their spouses. <P>

Regardless of what some of your readers think, this story is not worthy of being made into movie or published as a novel. It has become quite ordinary. I think what bothers me most is I know where you are going. If your readers have been paying attention, they should know too. This is headed straight for reconciliation with Debbie’s mental illness as the catalyst for getting her and Bill back together again. This is a cop-out in my opinion just as much as the life threatening event was in TLG. Debbie has disrespected him for years, humiliated in public by letting men practically masturbate against her body in public. Yet indignantly says no one has ever screwed her, some defense. She denigrated him in bed. Shaved her pussy for another man, and made fun of Bill’s penis to this same man, saying it was even getting smaller. Ran to Doug when he was injured not Bill. Had him in her bed the next night. Got a restraining order against Bill. Bragged about Doug’s eight inches to Bill and questioned his ability to get an erection. Not an all-inclusive list but all I can remember of the top of my head. Mental illness be damned, this is not a woman I would ever welcome back into my bed. Twenty years counts for something as does being the mother of my children. I would keep her on my medical insurance and try to help her through her problems but that’s it. I know some of you would forgive her and take her back in an instance if she changed. For some of you, she wouldn’t even have to change. To each his own. <P>

You should read B2B to see how to sell the reconciliation. It took him 22 chapters. It should take you considerably more; in reality Debbie should be under professional care for years to resolve her issues. It isn’t going to happen overnight. As someone previously mentioned an affair with Clint Abbot would be grueling. We have no assurances that considering your predilections that won’t happen. So as someone else mentioned 2019 is very optimistic going a day at a time. <P>

I know someone is going to say don’t read it if you don’t like it. Hey it’s the best out there today. The day it was posted there was only two stories by GW66 under whatever name he is currently using. (Forget what I said about the Brits) <P>

I believe HDK was correct in his assessment that the feedback would affect the story. Pity, you are quite good, I wanted to hear what you had to say. However, like you I’ve enjoyed the feedback. Except for dumb and dumber who love to hear themselves write. (The guy with big feet and the professor) Bartolo, I have a news flash for you Bill is never getting together with Myra. Get over it! Vietvet and Victorargent, you two can write whatever you fuckin want. You stood tall when it counted. You have my gratitude. <P>

Somebody else mentioned that the ladies have the best comments, I totally agree. However, Kelly_ Kelly has posted but not about the content of the story the last two chapters. She has had some great comments. DQS you should listen to her, you might learn something. Jennybear has been conspicuous by her absence. She is usually among the first to post, she must live on the east coast. Her last comment was a little melancholy. One thing I have noticed about women, if they don’t like the story they quit reading. They won’t rip the author, they just walk away. <P>

Somehow I feel my comments will not dishearten you. I think you enjoy them all. My oldest daughter used to love attention, good or bad. I didn’t mean to be hurtful; you have shown flashes of brilliance. I think you can be one of the best on Literotica, if you don’t let yourself get in the way. <P>

As promised, I am commenting on the fight after DQS1 completed the scenario so I would be able to determine how the fight fit the storyline.

It is apparent DQS1 needed bill to receive some damage so as to appear to have been in conflict.

To those who have experienced a real knock down drag out fight, this encounter was a little too even for reality.

First, Dougie was an AMATURE golden gloves boxer who had the potential to make the Olympics, but didn't have the skills necessary to complete this journey, IE: he got his ass kicked by another amateur, Bill on the other hand is a fighter as demonstrated by his defense of Debbie at the frat party when he was beaten, knocked unconscious,returned, and was beaten into a coma thus hooking up with Debbie. Another example of Bills tenacity is at the Banquet dinner where Debbie and Dougie publicly disrespected Bill and he kicked Dougie's ass for the first time.

Now we come to the last two chapters and CPETE has a lot of it right.

There a lot of people who appear to view the fight as a sporting contest or event where there is the Marques of Queensbuery rules, weight classes, and a referee.

In this case Bill is outweighed be at least 30 pounds, is shorter by at least six inches, and Dougie is at least fifteen years younger, thus if Bill is to stand a chance of defeating Dougie, he needs an equalizer.

As most fights are won with the first punch, Bill chooses to surprise Dougie and hit him (Dougie) with a set of brass knuckles, in my opinion a wise move.

Now the way the fight should have turned out.

Dougie answers the door and Bill hits him in the bridge of the nose. Dougie's eyes start to swell shut, his nose is spread allover his face, bleeding and hurting like hell, and thus the eyes are watering thus partially temporally blinding Dougie.

Next Bill gives Dougie two uppercut punches to the point of the sternum and diaphragm thus knocking the breath out on Dougie, who now cant see nor breath and turns away from the attack and falls face forward and over his desktop. Now Bill takes advantage of this position and gives Dougie two good hard shots to the kidneys (theres a reason the kidney punch is outlawed in boxing) so Dougie will be pissing blood tor foe next two weeks. FIGHT OVER.

Now like I said earlier, I understand why DQS1 wrote this as he did, and agree that is the only way to make his scenario work, but the realities are that if anyone is attacked as Dougie was, all they want to do is curl up in a fetal position and try to recover. (as told from my painful experiences)

CPETE, you are in my humble opinion right about the perceived childish digs by Bill to Debbie, MAKE THE BITCH SUFFER AS SHE MADE YOU SUFFER (part of the punishment needed) and give her new squeeze something to think about.

Now I hope I have pissed off some of those who didn't like real criticism (in I hope a good way) of this story. I agree with lakes that criticism is needed to improve and sharpen our skills, but there are some who want you to write their story because they are either too lazy or not able to put in the work and research to write their own.

DQS1 Keep up the good writing, and keep telling YOUR story as you see it.

Thanks: Tom

DQS works on some assumptions, in each his story, it is woman who has right to fall in love or fall out of love, what husband? says or do does not matter, in DF Holy said she "never tried to not to love" but she never did, well quite unbelievable, it is as impossible to not fall in love with your spouse, to whom you once liked and know parent of you kids, if he/she does nothing to stop love between them. Tell me how it is possible, he had to be practically ugliest guy and worst personality, to dump after having kids, and sharing 8 yrs.

A wife cheats and slaps husband, and give him lecture about what really love is.

A wife cheats for a year, and then come back to husband who possesd his love in his dying state, give him lecture about self-respect, and tell him reason for cheating, and still not sure that she will be faithful in future.

A wife never had orgasm with his husband because she never loved him, oh she thought she loved, (for 8 yrs) , she did practically cry in bed with him, now wtf, he must be having 2 inch dick, which is good only to tease her, make her cry, her batteries can tolrate this teasing for only 3 months and then she goes to her lover, Now wtf! is this some type of treatment to get after 3 months does real life wotks this way, that is why DQS write stories(fiction), get real man!

Now this story , I am expecting same dissapointment here form DQS, SHe cheats, she falls out of love, she humiliate him, she put restraining order agst him, still she is in charge, Good bill says nothing,. wt a pathetic loser, why afraid to lose when you got letrally nothing to loose. I agree with anon that if it is going to reconcilation it must take several years, her as nun, and isolated..

I wud hate to see reason for her action some medical or mental problem, she act normal and cleverly except it is about bill. People do what they really want to do, consciously , sub-consciously or unconsciously. There is no justification only rationalization.

So get real, you messsed it up, only thing we want to know where you want to end it, so that everyone can say, it was right or wrong , bill is winp or not, other than that, no one liked you entering new characters, And character development should be focused on characters not on some uncle Sam who used to know Bill, when i was not even born.

But you need to research on woman more because you seemed to know practically knowing nothing about woman or knowing everything about street whores.

Was it a temporary restraining order, or a restraining order?

The difference is a total of five months.

A temporary restraining order is issued for the period of one month as to allow a just cause hearing to make the restraining order full term which is six months.

In certain cases you can get a restraining order extended for up to a year by going back to court, and in the case of say a stalker, a restraining order can be made permanent.

this story is becoming more and more pointless by each chapter? If you have ambitions to write a novel, please do so but really you have tried my patience wih this initially good story.

You are supposed to submit short stories here (short stories, get it??)

Please, for God's sake, finish this story now. If i wanted to read a novel, i would do so intead of visiting Literotica.

I'm not sure who should be offended by the comparison, DQS1 or Matt Moreau. <P>

Just kidding DQS1, I'm a big fan of yours. I don’t read any of Matt's submissions. <P>

However, I really can't argue with the rest of what Wake Up Call wrote. You started out with what I thought was going to be the best story on Literotica. Unfortunately your writing has stagnated. It is still a good story but that's about it. The processes that you use has put you at a disadvantage. I know some people thrive under pressure but not for extended periods. <P>

You had some grandiose plans for this novel; maybe it's time to scale them back.

his comment was spot on. evrything he said is so true, every point he made about the story, similarities with MattM, unwanted comparisions, his take on Debbie, ladies having the best comments was spot on. thank god bigfoot and professor are keeping quite. wake up wake up wake up

I"m glad some of the writers on this site have thick skins. Being compared to each other. Being told how to write, how to tell their story, how novels are not what is wanted here, What the pecking order is, etc,etc.

I don"t have a clue who"s who. Some of you type that you know who each other are. You talk about specific commentors or authors as if you know them, even when commenting as anon. That does seem kinda.......well fixed and chicken since you seem to know each other. This is a great story on its own. Anyone trying to compare it shouldn't. The writing makes you feel something toward the characters as though you could be there or know them yourself. Impatience as readers is what seems to be at issue, although I'm sure many will dissagree.

I looked back at garyapb's B2B because it keeps being referred to. It got great reviews, which tapered off, then got criticised then the moaning started till the finish. A little familiar with this? I'm no pro. I'm not standing on a soap box telling anyone how to feel, or how to judge what's been written so far in this tale, but it"s good. Damn good. Good enough to have similarities in my life, with loved ones I've known. Life is complicated. It's not black and white. Good people do bad, bad, and dumb things. It's in this story. My biggest issue is I don't know who to root for still at this late stage. Maybe that's everyones problem. You either hate someone already in this story, and have your blinders on, or your frustrated not knowing wtf to think.

I think if your ready to give up on this, the author was right in telling you to go away for a short while until it was finished. Then there would also be less axe throwing over what was happening in the story. Let the author fail, or my hope....succeed as started.

TigerDan

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I knew you were an idiot, thanks for proving me right, again.

It seems probable that Debbie's undisclosed mental trauma, and reason she is angry at Bill, are both related to Clarice's death. Could it be Clarice died by violence and Debbie subconsciously blames Bill for not saving her. After all, Bill saved Debbie when she was being gang raped twenty years ago. Why didn't he save Clarice.

It doesn't have to be logical, it's an emotional response. Up until that point Bill was her knight in shining armor, he is supposed to protect her from all harm. Clarice's death put an end to that fantasy. On the surface Debbie knows Bill is not to blame. Down deeper, Bill failed her.

Why don't ya say what ya want to say. Give an opinion besides "she's a slut"!!..... or whatever stupid comment you just made about me. You've just devistated me!! Oh my!!....... BIG LETTERS JUST FOR YOU. EVERYONE in here (well almost everyone) sees the obvious WE KNOW WHO DID WHAT. DEBBIE DID A TERRIBLE THING, PROBABLY UNFORGIVABLE, I CAN'T IMAGINE GETTING PAST IT IF THIS LOAD OF SHIT WAS IN MY LIFE. I just want the authors reason as to why this happened.....NOT YOURS.

I've been waiting for those who want to talk about more than tenured or not,....restraining order, or temp. restraing order. Who gives a shit about who's what or who's right or good or bad? I'm just enjoying the story and even this part of communicating with an idiot like you.

No way to argue this hot shot. The main characters are a few really screwed up people who don't have their heads on right. (Hey,...You'd fit right in) The author is taking you through a glimpse of their lives and I guess eventually will get around to telling us why this family got so screwed up over the last few yrs. Get over yourself. I've done nothing in here but offer an opinion on a pretty good writer and story. Each time, total of 4, maybe 5 comments I think, some moron behind his computer gets brave long enough to pull the pole they are smoking out of there mouth and throw in something ridiculous and personal. You must be really, really lonely. I'm Sorry. You seem to have a lot of anger issues too. Maybe you should get that checked.

TD