All Comments on 'When World's Collide'

You’ve introduced two uniquely interesting characters in an wonderfully sensual way. Liked how you built the erotic tension while giving us a glimpse of Tallulah and Morgan in this short piece. As a near hopeless romantic, would love to experience more around this budding relationship wherever that might go. Regardless of any plans for them, it is so nice that you are continuing to share. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Really sweet story! Thank you for letting it build as you did.

Hope to read more of these to new lovers very soon!

You show signs of a lyrical, flowing style. Unfortunately I got lost in the cascading typos. You desperately need a skilled editor and proofreader.

Hi HL!

Lovely storyline and word play😘

I’m so looking forward to the next chapter😋

2 small bumps I came across

- Tallulah straddled a sitted Morgan - should be ‘seated’

- mischieve should be mischief

Can’t wait for your next story

LH&Ks

Su

I am sure the Grammar Police are going to give you hell, but I was able to figure out what you meant and I loved the story. Don’t let them get you down and please continue this story.

I assume English is not your primary language and therefore am willing to give you a pass on all of the errors and typos. I agree with GP above you should use an editor and proofreader.

Loved the story, hated the spelling.

I must be getting used to the way people tell a story. It is the idea that counts. I will just read a story just for the plot. Give you 4-5 stars and give a review and why. The Grammar Police can go spout off about the errors. To some it makes a difference, me not so much. The story is the thing.

There is a thing called credibility, in which a story should have reasonably correct grammar and spelling. It is something to build upon. but not at the expense of telling your story. Write your story, get it the way you want it and then let someone edit for you.

You are good, your style keeps the reader in the story all the way through. Your interplay between the characters is very good, too You have introduced two very good characters, maybe you can show them falling in love, you have already shown them falling in lust.

Keep trying and improve your skills. It can only get better.