Where the Deer and the Antelope Play

It was a few songs later when I felt a tap and opened my eyes, to see Candy Rossiter. "Excuse me, Livia, but do you think I could cut in for one dance with this old scoundrel?"

"Go for it, Candy," she said, but she brushed her lips across my cheek before letting me go. "I'll see you in a few, okay?" she asked, looking at me.

"You know it," I agreed.

Candy slid comfortably into my arms but I didn't hold her close as I had Livia. Instead, there was a little space between us where we could look at each other as we danced and talked.

"It's been a great evening, Ian, and I'm really happy for Alan and for you."

"What? I get Alan with Nessa, and I'm really happy for them, too, but me? What do you mean?"

"Livia, Ian. She's into you, if you'll just give her a chance."

"You think so? I know we're comfortable together this evening, but I wasn't sure how much of it is us and how much is just wedding ceremony spillover. You know, like pheromones? You see two people so much in love and it makes you want it, too?"

She looked at me under her brow and I felt like my IQ had just dropped about 40 points in her eyes.

"Okay, idiot, I'll just say this. We had a chance to make something happen about eighteen and a half years ago. We started out with a bang—"

"Literally," I volunteered.

"—but it was too much, too fast, and there was never a chance to see if there could be something lasting between us, to see if we might grow to love each other. Instead, I got pissed, you backed off, and we never had a chance. Ian, if you like her anywhere close to as much as it seems, don't make that mistake with Liv, please?"

"I like her, Candy, but I'm not into the relationship thing. I watched my parents and I don't ever remember there being any love between them. As much as I hate the man for what he did to my mother, his practically endless string of affairs that he threw in her face, I've always remembered that I'm still his son and that I'd probably turn out just like him if I ever try to make something last."

"Bullshit," she whispered angrily, her brow furrowed. We'd stopped our swaying and were now standing in place. "You use your dad's hanky-panky to justify your own unwillingness to take a chance when it's right in front of you! Don't be a douche, Ian. Take responsibility for yourself. If you don't like her, that's one thing, but don't use excuses to avoid her. I'm telling you this because you're a friend and because I'm trying to help you, but if you're going to just cling to that...that bullshit...well, I'm out of here."

She started to turn to go but she'd forgotten I was holding her. Instead of releasing, I pulled her in for a hug and whispered, "Thanks, Candy. I appreciate the advice. Not sure what I'll do with it, but I'll at least think about it, okay?"

She smiled and nodded before hugging me back. A moment later, she let go and walked away. Approaching Livia, they whispered something, and then gave each other a hug before Candy moved on. Livia looked over at me and then walked my way.

"There's only a couple of dances left before the bride and groom take off. You think we can share them?"

"Livia, it would be my honor."

She moved close and whispered, "Are you okay? Candy didn't tell me what she said but it looked like she was upset for a minute."

"Yeah, I'm fine and Candy's a good friend who, well, had something she needed to say.

"I've seen her on her show a few times. I bet she was pretty good at that, right?"

"Very," I agreed. "But enough about her, okay?"

She smiled as she looked up at me before reaching up for a kiss. Surprised, I responded with a short, sweet kiss before backing away and looking into her eyes. She wanted more, I saw, so I leaned into her this time to let her respond. This time, there was passion as her lips opened and her tongue probed. I met her with gusto and could feel my blood surge as we enjoyed our connection.

"Wow," she said when it finally ended. "I...I wasn't expecting that."

"I wasn't expecting it either, but I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did."

Biting her lip, she nodded. "Every bit."

When the song ended, Choctaw spoke into the mic, "Okay, folks! Listen up! Alan and Nessa need to be getting on their way to their new life together, starting with their honeymoon, so we're going to pause the music for a minute to allow them to do one last duty each, and then play one more song for a last dance before we go outside and send them on their way! First, all the single women are asked to gather over here...""

I don't know how but the little bouquet sailed over Nessa's shoulder in a perfect arc right into a startled Livia's hands. A number of the local girls looked disappointed, including Sophie, but Livia held it up in surprise and grinned.

Alan pretended to have trouble getting Nessa's garter off, leading her to give him a little frown at his silly antics before he slipped it down her leg and off her foot. With the single guys standing behind him, he shot it back over his shoulder where Bart, displaying surprising speed, grabbed it out of the air. He was grinning as he slipped it over his index finger and spun it around. Sophie, I noticed, looked away.

"Okay, folks! Now that we've got that fun out of the way, this is it, the last dance! Everybody dances this time. Come on now, everyone on the floor to dance and give these lovebirds our love and support!"

There was Candy, leading Uncle Horace back on the floor for the dance. With the grin on his face, I hope someone had told him that she was married so he didn't get his expectations up too high. Most of the crowd came out for the dance, though there were a few people who stayed at the tables but contributed by swaying to the music.

Livia slipped back into my arms and we kissed again, holding each other tight as we started moving around the floor. I couldn't control it this time and she soon discovered the effect our kisses were having on me. She looked at me with a grin before putting her head back on my shoulder and pressing herself tight against my hardness. Our dance became a stationary sway.

There was applause as the song wound down. I took one last breath of Livia's hair before opening my eyes and straightening up only to see Alan and Nessa standing next to us, still holding each other from the dance.

"Looks like you two are having a good time," said Nessa, with Alan's grin even bigger than hers.

"He's a pretty good dancer," agreed Livia, "and an excellent kisser."

That led me to grin but my face reddened when she continued, "So far."

They all laughed and Nessa leaned in and whispered something in her cousin's ear. Livia whispered something in reply, her hand covering her mouth but not enough to hide the grin that covered her face.

Choctaw cleared the mic and said, "Everyone, let's assemble outside on the walk, and we'll be bringing the bride and groom out in a couple of minutes to send them on their way."

Alan gave me a couple of last minute reminders about closing up his house before I left on Sunday morning, and Nessa appeared to be doing the same with Livia and Candy. There were hugs, kisses, and handshakes before we sent them out the door to be showered with bird seed as they walked through the gauntlet of sizzling sparklers. Smiling and waving, they got into Nessa's SUV, already decorated with streamers and "Just Married!" on the side and rear windows, and already packed with everything they'd need for their honeymoon in the islands after their first night in the honeymoon suite in the Creek City Inn.

They drove away to whoops and hollers and the crowd began to disperse. I turned to see Livia looking at me.

In that moment, I froze, looking at her with a smile, but not knowing, for the first time in ages, what I should do in this circumstance. Ordinarily, I'd play the Game, asking the woman over for a drink and we'd spend at least part of the night scoring. Now, though, I hesitated. I liked Livia a lot and could see that she liked me, too. In her current condition, I was fairly sure she'd come if I invited her over to Alan's, but where would that leave us? A night of passion—which I greatly wanted—that would lead to my usual disappearing act, never to see her again?

No, Candy, as much as I hated to admit it, was right. This was different; this, I felt, could be special. This, I knew, was something I couldn't fuck up if I wanted us to ever have a chance.

"Livia, thanks for a wonderful evening," I said. "I really enjoyed spending time with you and, ah, I wondered if we could get together for a date when we get home? Maybe next weekend? I'd love to take you out, to get to know you better, to see if what I'm feeling is...well...."

There was disappointment on her face, but she nodded as she saved me from trying to say more. "I'd really like that, Ian, and I look forward to it. My flight's later tomorrow, so Candy said I can ride to the airport with her, so I'll see you next weekend, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it, too. I'll give you a call to set things up."

Not sure if I was doing the right thing since this was something I hadn't done since high school, I took her hand in mine and leaned in to kiss her. She was good with that, leaning in to me, too. An embrace followed and our kiss went on, full of fire and passion, until I realized that any more would mean changing our plans for the night and probably losing her forever. Opening my eyes, I thought I saw a tear rolling down her cheek as she turned and almost ran in the direction of Candy's rental car.

I saw Uncle Horace walking, his cane in hand, toward his home, so slowed to a crawl as I lowered the passenger-side window. "Uncle Horace, want a ride?"

He looked into the car and saw I was alone. "What about Livia? I thought you two were into each other."

"Yeah, I think we are. That's why she's not in here now."

He nodded, smiling. "Delmer always said that good things come to those who wait. For your sake, hope he's right this time. Sure, I'd appreciate the ride."

He thanked me again for the ride when I let him out, and wished me safe travels for my journey home the next morning. I waited until he was inside and the light came on before pulling out and driving the few houses down the street to Alan's house.

On entering, the magnitude of what I'd done hit me. I'd given up a sure thing for the evening for a really murky future, for a chance at something that might never be. This really wasn't like me, but it's what I'd decided so I had to live with it and hope for the best.

I took a quick shower, resisting the urge to relieve myself to thoughts of Livia. When I finally make love to Livia, it will be with Livia, I decided, rather than with a figment of my imagination.

I climbed into bed with the intent of going to sleep, but doubt can be a great enemy of the Sandman, so the minutes passed and sleep never came. Around 12:30, I climbed out of bed, opened my laptop, and logged into my office's network. I'd used my phone to read and answer a few emails from Mary Ellen, my office manager, during my travels, but now with the laptop, I glanced at the rest. Seeing nothing of importance, I was about to close it up when I recalled my thought from earlier in the evening.

"Maggie?" I said, hoping that hearing the name spoken aloud would prompt my memory. "Missy? Molly? Maybe Molly."

I did a search of my patient files for a Molly who'd been into the office in the past six months. There were actually three, but they were all established patients. It was then that I recalled her saying she wasn't going to pay the bill for the visit since she hadn't let me do the service, so I looked in the office contact list. There I saw the name, Molly Devers.

Her address, phone, and e-mail address were all there, so I wrote down her address and closed the connection. Over the next 45 minutes, I hand wrote Miss Molly Devers eight notes before finally finishing one that said what I wanted that was neat enough to send. That was fortunate since I was down to only one more sheet on the pad. Using the last stamp from the sheet that I kept in the laptop bag, I finished the envelope and sent Mary Ellen a short email requesting her to replenish my supplies in my laptop briefcase when I returned to the office on Monday.

Getting back in bed, I saw a text pop in from Silas.

Get any tonight? Three for me! 2 in 1!

Writing back, I typed, I met someone, Silas. She's special. I may be out

2 weeks. How long Special usually lasts before u realize it's really not. Good luck w/ that

I put the phone down without responding, wondering if my days as a Player could be over, if the Game might be put behind me.

I was still wondering, debating, when sleep finally claimed me.

***

Chapter 7

It was a lonely trip back to Denver the next morning, making me realize how much I missed Livia's presence for the ride and Livia in general. My mind wandered a bit too much and I finally got a very brief taste of the roadside rumble strip before cursing and jerking the car back onto the roadway.

The rental car office was a picture of serenity in comparison to Wednesday when I arrived. I settled the bill in the drop-off line and walked toward the shuttle bus at the curb. There was no one in the lot and, in looking in through the window, only a few people were in line waiting for an agent. I was surprised when I saw the cute, pixie-cut agent out from behind the desk speaking with someone in the lobby. Her rear was quite normal sized, suiting her perfectly, but I looked away without giving her my usual careful scrutiny.

Minutes later, I checked my bag.

"Excuse me, is there a mail drop in the terminal?" I asked the agent.

He told me where to find it so I dropped the envelope for Molly Devers in the slot before making my way through security. Arriving at my gate well before boarding time, I sat down, trying to assess my life, where I was, and what I wanted. I almost laughed out loud at the ham-handed attempt to convince me to buy a dental practice in the distant boonies, but everything else took more serious thought, boiling down two two words: Livia Dawes.

About ten minutes before boarding was to begin, I pulled out my phone and typed, Livia, I miss you. Ian

Seconds and then minutes passed as I waited, practically praying, for a response, but it didn't come before the aircraft doors closed and I had to switch the phone to Airplane Mode.

It was a long and depressing ride home.

***

U 2! was the message waiting for me when I switched my phone back to normal on landing. Her short message warmed my heart, so I sent only a heart emoji, knowing she would be in the air for a while. I picked up some groceries on the way home, and then waited, hour by hour until I knew it would be late enough to call but not too late for her to talk.

As nervous as I'd ever been, I nibbled over dinner as I waited, wondering if the butterflies I was feeling in my stomach were really as common in people in love as I'd read or if I'd just picked up a stomach virus.

I waited to call until 8 o'clock, then again every few minutes until nearly 10. Each time, the phone rang and rang, but she didn't pick up, nor did she respond to any of my texts. I didn't know Livia's airline or flight number, just that it was leaving sometime after mine, so I searched online for airline delays, but didn't find any that were likely to be hers.

Silas's text came in around 10:30.

You back, Ian? & u get rid of that strange idea of stayin with that girl? Special seems so but is NOT

Seconds later, his follow-up popped in:

EVER!

My thumbs flew over the keyboard. We'll see. Hoping I'm right and she's every bit as special as she seems. Night

He replied with a shaking head emoji.

Figuring she was tired and maybe her phone's battery had died on the trip, I sent one more text before going to bed.

Livia, sorry to have missed you tonight. Thought about and missed you all day. Looking forward to seeing you again soon.

Again, there was no reply after a while, so I went to bed, hoping that she was okay and that we'd be able to get together soon to see if this thing between us was really true.

Monday was back-to-work day. I arrived early and sent emails to several contacts at dental schools letting them know of the need for a good dentist in Ashantie County and that a practice was available for sale, probably at an outstanding price if the prospective buyer played their cards right. I told myself that I was doing it for the local patients of a late colleague, not for his sneaky widow.

However, as the morning progressed, frequent checks of my phone turned up nothing from Livia. By noon, I was quite worried, so I sent a message to Candy asking if she'd heard from her. Candy's reply came in seconds.

No, left her at airport, no word since. Take care of her; I think she likes you. A lot. :-)

The last part made me feel good and I was smiling like Candy's emoji as I slipped over a couple of blocks to a testing firm where I had myself checked on a regular basis to be sure I hadn't picked up any nasties. This time, though, it was even more important since this was for Livia. If anything were to happen between us in the coming days, I wanted to be sure I was still clean to avoid risking her health.

I still hadn't heard anything from her by the end of lunch and her disappearance was increasingly worrisome as the day went along. I sent another text before leaving my practice for home that evening.

Livia, I'm worried about you. Please call me. Please?

My prayers were answered a little later as I walked into my house with Livia's name and a photo I'd snapped of her coming up on my screen.

"Livia! Are you okay?"

"Hi, Ian. I'm sorry. I got really sick at my stomach right after I got home last night so I had to call in sick today.

"Give me your address and I'll bring chicken soup, or Pepto-Bismol, or something."

"No, Ian, please. Listen. I've done a lot of thinking; we had a lot of fun, and you were such a great guy and such a gentleman, but, I'm sorry, I can't see you again."

It felt as if my legs were collapsing on me as I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. "Livia, you can't mean that, surely? I'm feeling something for you like I've never felt before, not in my entire life, and I really want us to give it a chance to see where it goes. Please, give it a chance? Give us a chance?"

"I'm sorry, Ian. I can't. I'm really, really sorry. I have to go. Goodbye."

And just like that, Livia was gone as were the hopes and dreams that had built up inside me over the past few days. I sat there on the floor, my arms wrapped around my knees, wondering where things had gone wrong, wondering how I could have found something that felt so right for the first time in my life only to have lost it so quickly.

***

I almost sent Livia a text message on Tuesday evening but decided to let her think about what she'd asked a little longer, in hopes that she would change her mind and call or text me first. That didn't happen, so on Wednesday night, I sat staring at my phone, trying to figure out what to say to win her back.

As a Player, I'd always played to win, to overcome the woman's emotions so she'd want to end up in bed with me. I knew the words, the phrases, and the actions that made the willing woman want to do it. Now, I wanted to at least have a chance to win Livia's heart, and that, I realized, was a completely different skill set, one I wasn't even sure I possessed. It was my heart that led me.

Livia, I'm sorry if I came on too strong, but I found myself liking you a lot. Now I miss you even more. Please, can we talk?