Where Will I Live?

Thank you to a special person for editing my story.

My name is Jeff Mizer. This story begins when I was fourteen years old. There was my mom and dad and me and my sister Natalie. We weren't really that happy of a family. My dad drank way too much and he and mom were always arguing. My sister Natalie became sick and mom finally took her to the doctor. She was only twelve and somewhat fragile.

The doctor gave her a physical and sent her to the hospital. They ran a series of tests and said she had leukemia. They started Natalie on different treatments. She still went to school but was sick a lot of the time. She was getting progressively worse and over time wasn't able to go to school. I remember the last time she went to the hospital. Mom became a nervous wreck and all she did was cry. She only came home to change clothes and then went back to the hospital. My dad just drank himself to sleep.

After a couple of weeks, the hospital said there was nothing more they could do for Natalie. She only lasted a couple of days after that. Mom and dad did not handle it well. Mom had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital. Dad left the hospital and never returned. I was lost. I missed both my mom and little sister.

My dad's parents made sure that Natalie had a nice funeral. I was never that good of a kid and got in trouble a lot but I had loved my little sister. I cried and then wondered what would happen to me. Where would I live? My grandparents told children's services that they didn't feel they could handle me. In school, I was a troublemaker and my grades were barely passable. I wasn't even sixteen years old when Natalie died.

An older couple who were our neighbors never had any kids. They asked children's services how much they would get per month if they took me in as a foster child. They talked with me and said I could have a room in the basement. All they would ask of me was to help around the house. We came to an agreement. They had me mow the grass, shovel snow, and a few household chores. I didn't have a whole lot of choices.

I was big for my age and the Millers knew they wouldn't be able to push me around. They thought about the money and let me have my way. I actually did help them out. Mr. Miller was on disability and couldn't do much. I ate breakfast and lunch at school and Mrs. Miller made us some kind of meal for dinner.

I was a loner before my sister's death and was a bigger loner afterward. I didn't join any clubs or play any sports. I spent most of my time after school doing weight lifting and other body building exercises. I tried studying a little more but it was hard for me to learn. The school kept sending me to advisors to talk to but I never got much out of it. I was now a junior and knew I only had a year and a half to go.

I had to do a book report and actually went to the library. I decided to write my report on physical training. It was something I knew. As I was writing, I heard a girl say "leave me alone, please don't touch me". The sound was coming from between the book-racks. I walked over and saw Lori. She was in my English class.

Two guys each had hold of one of her arms. They saw me and knew I wasn't a guy to mess with.

"Let her go or you'll wish you would have."

"It's none of your business, Jeff. Besides, there's two of us and only one of you."

"That makes it an even fight," I said.

I took three steps and they let Lori go. She ran away as I grabbed one guy and threw him up against the wall. The other one came toward me and I kicked him behind his knee. After he went down, they both held up their hands, said they were sorry, and that they wouldn't bother Lori again.

I went back to work on my book report. I was shaking my head when Lori came up to me and thanked me for helping her out. I told her it was nothing and that those two idiots wouldn't be bothering her again.

"Jeff, I saw you shaking your head. Can I help you out? I'm pretty smart." She was smiling at me.

"I have to write a report. I know what to say but I don't know how to go about it. I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar."

"I can help you with that."

She sat down and made an outline on how to do a report. She explained how to list things in sequence. I sat there and followed her outline. Afterward she took my paper and edited it for errors. I thanked her for her help and told her if anyone bothered her to let me know.

I turned my report in the next day and it was the first 'A' that I ever remember getting. I waited after school for Lori to thank her for her help. She told me if I ever needed help again to just ask. When I got home, I told the Millers that I got an 'A' on my report. It surprised them that I talked to them. Since I moved in our relationship wasn't the best. I didn't bother them and they didn't bother me. I mowed the yard and other things including keeping my area of the basement clean.

I don't know how much money the Millers received each month for being a foster parent but they gave me ten dollars a week. I decided to find a part-time job so I could have some money to buy things. I went to the supermarket and they hired me as a stock boy. I worked two days a week after school for four hours and eight hours on Saturday.

During the summer, I worked six days a week. I put most of my money away. Once in a while I would bring a pizza home and eat it with the Millers. I knew I was only there because of the money they received but if it wasn't for them, where else would I be?

I was still a loner when I started my senior year of school. I didn't dress or act like other students. I got into a few arguments and even a couple of fights. One day at lunch, Lori asked if she could sit with me. She was a nice looking girl. We started having lunch together a couple of days a week. Other days I saw her eating with her friends. She said she would help me with my studying since it was our senior year. I had made up my mind that I was going to try harder.

I still had my job at the supermarket but the days I didn't work Lori and I met at the library where she helped me with most of my studies. She was so smart that I figured she would make a good teacher. She made things so much easier to understand. She told me she was going to go to college for a teaching career and asked me my plans. I told her I didn't have any. My present plan was to graduate because everyone told me I'd never make it.

Over time, we talked more and she told me about her family. She had an older brother who worked in the bank and an older sister who taught at the middle school. They were both married and each had two kids. She asked me about my life and I sat silent for a few minutes.

"Lori, my life sucks. My mother is in a mental institution and my dad left when my little sister died of leukemia a couple of years ago. My neighbors took me in for the foster care money. My grandparents wanted nothing to do with me."

Lori had tears in her eyes. "God, Jeff, I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"It's not something I talk about. In fact, you're the only person I ever told the whole story to. I guess that's why I'm such a loner. I notice you seem to have a lot of friends."

"Yeah, I'm friends with most everyone. I'm not that pretty so the girls aren't afraid of me taking their boyfriends." She kind of smiled. "The boys seem to want one thing. Once they find out they aren't going to get it from me, they usually leave me alone. There are the few who are just nice guys. They're the ones I consider friends."

"You're the only person I consider a friend. I have a few acquaintances at work but I wouldn't really call them friends. I guess that you give me hope that I can make it. Lori, would you like to go and get something to eat?"

"Sure, let me call my mom so she won't worry about me."

We walked to the pizzeria and shared a pizza and each had a beverage.

"Lori, this is the first time I've been out with anyone since the death of my sister. Thank you for coming."

"I'm happy to come here with you. I'm surprised you never asked before. Maybe we can do it again sometime."

After that, we went out together about once a week. It was always after we finished our homework. Sometimes it was just a burger joint. We never went anywhere fancy. No way I could afford that. I took driver's training and Mr. Miller let me use his car to take the driving test. The Millers and I actually got along better. We even talked about school when we had dinner together.

I would be turning eighteen before graduation. The Millers told me that children's services would only pay for foster care until graduation. After that the money stopped. They told me if I wanted to stay there after graduation that we could decide on how much a month I could pay. I told them I would think about it and let them know.

Just so you know, Lori wasn't my girlfriend. It fact, we never kissed or did anything sexual. I can't say I didn't think about it, but to me she was more like my sister and I protected her. She went on dates and would tell me how guys treated her. Two of them got their ass kicked for trying to take advantage of her. When she heard they got beat up, she asked me if I knew anything about it. Both said they were robbed. They didn't know what hit them. They said the assailant wore a face mask. Of course, the robbery part was untrue.

"What do they call it--payback, or something like that. I bet they don't bother you again."

I never admitted to anything but I think she knew. Prom was in two weeks. Lori asked me if I was going. I had to laugh. I'd never gone to a school function and this one would cost some big bucks. Besides, there was no one to ask. My only real friend was Lori and she was going with Dave who asked her a month ago.

Graduation was coming up and I was just going to get my diploma from the principal. I wasn't planning to walk across the stage. Lori convinced me to go through with the ceremony. I didn't buy a class ring or yearbook or anything else. I actually went to a secondhand store and bought a robe and cap. I received four tickets to the graduation and gave them to Lori so she could invite more of her friends and relatives.

I do have to say I felt good when they called my name and I crossed the stage. It made me feel proud that I made it. I did go to Lori's house for her graduation party. I met her parents and stayed long enough to eat and congratulate Lori and a few of the other graduates that came to her party. I told Lori thanks for helping me make it and that I'd never forget her. She walked me to the door and she reached up and kissed me. She said she would always remember me.

When I went back to the Miller's, we had a talk. I told them I was going back to full time at the supermarket and that I could give them a hundred dollars a week if I could stay in the basement. I would still help them with the few chores I did and they didn't have to make me dinner. We agreed to a month-to-month lease. They also congratulated me on obtaining my diploma.

I got a raise at the supermarket and even got a few extra hours if I wanted them. After a couple of months, I had saved enough money to buy a used pickup. It was old and looked a little rusted but it ran good. It was cheap enough that I was able to pay cash for it. I got liability insurance and paid it monthly.

After about six months I found out the steel mill was hiring and went for an interview. The lady in HR looked at my diploma and congratulated me. She told me it was hard work but she thought I could probably handle it. She hired me and my pay was double what I was making at the supermarket. I gave my boss at the market two weeks' notice. He said he was sorry to see me go.

I had to buy steel-toed shoes that set me back over a hundred dollars. I started on the afternoon shift. The guys I worked with seemed to be all right. I learned my job and actually liked it. There was a lot of lifting and pushing carts around. I was glad I was in good physical condition. After a few days, it got easier. Plus they gave me other jobs to do. Some places in the plant were hot and dirty. They had showers available to clean up before going home. I took a shower most every night. Some of the guys asked me if I wanted to go to the bar after work. I told them I wasn't old enough but they said it wouldn't be a problem.

I went with them on Fridays. We would get there around midnight and stay until the bar closed. They served me beer and never asked for my license. I only drank a few and always ate a sandwich with it. I would listen to the stories they would talk about. Most of them seemed to have pretty rough lives. Almost all were married and had families. A couple were divorced.

They asked me about my past and I explained to them that I was pretty much on my own. I guess I could say I had some friends now. They went to the bar almost every day after work. I just went on Fridays. After a few weeks, some of the women at the bar teased me since I was the new guy and also the youngest. They were quite a bit older than me.

I ended up going home with a couple of them. Of course, it was one at a time. I never told the woman it was my first time and she was getting a cherry. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to get a hard-on and put in it a pussy. My friends told me to always wear a condom. You never knew what you were getting with a bar broad.

Soon I got laid every Friday. I had a few beers, got a sandwich, and got laid. I do have to say I thought about Lori and wondered how she was doing at college. My life was pretty simple and boring so I joined an exercise club. I was in great physical shape because of my job but I wanted something to do. I started meeting some nice looking women at the club. I was still somewhat of a loner but the women started talking to me.

It wasn't long before I started bedding down some of the women there. The only problem was most of them were older and married. I wanted a future with a woman who I could love and maybe have a family. I stopped dating married women but did date a couple of divorced women. I guess I was looking for love in all the wrong places.

One day I decided to drive out to the mental hospital to see my mother. When I saw her, I had tears in my eyes. She cried when she saw me.

"My baby boy," she said. "Did you bring Natalie with you?"

The nurse told me she hadn't accepted Natalie's death. I just told mom she couldn't make it that day. I did tell her I graduated from high school and had a good job. She was happy for me. She did know that dad left and asked if he ever came back. I told her no but didn't add anything else.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she told me to take care of Natalie. I had tears in my eyes when I left. It was extremely hard to lie to my mom but the nurse said she wouldn't get any better.

It's been a good five years since I got my job. I got promoted to supervisor but HR told me I probably couldn't advance any further since I didn't have any college experience. That wasn't any surprise but I didn't want to go back to any kind of school. Of course, having to do homework made me think about Lori.

I was ready to move out of the Miller's house when Mr. Miller passed away. Mrs. Miller was moving into a home for seniors. Their house had always been in somewhat disrepair. I made an offer to the lawyer for the house and whatever belongings Mrs. Miller didn't want. Everything was quite old and run down. They accepted my offer and the bank said I needed twenty percent down. I took all my savings and bought the old house.

Of course, that meant I still lived next to the house I grew up in but at least I was now a homeowner. Rather, the bank and I were. I decided to start with one thing at a time and fix up my house. I saved up enough money and bought whatever I needed in cash, beginning with the windows.

I used all my free time to work on my house. I was becoming a pretty good contractor. Whenever I ran into a problem, I asked my buddies at work and one of them always seemed to know what to do.

I went about every six months to see my mom. Her mind never got better. I would always tell her that Natalie was doing fine. It really hurt me when I talked to my mom. I literally cried whenever I left the mental hospital.

It was close to ten years since I graduated. Things were going fine. I was still working on the house but it was looking pretty good. I was now putting vinyl siding on the house. I was over at the Home Depot on a Saturday to pick up some material when I saw a woman I thought I knew.

"Lori, is that you?" I asked.

The woman turned around and looked at me.

"Jeff," she said and gave me a big hug.

I had tears in my eyes. She was pushing a stroller with a little girl in it. She looked to be about three years old.

"How are you? How have you been? I think about you all the time. I guess you got married. She's a pretty little girl."

I just kept talking even though that wasn't like me at all.

"Jeff, Jeff, stop! Let me tell you. Yes, I was married. It didn't work out. The only good thing to come out of it is my daughter, Jenny. She's my pride and joy. What about you? Are you married, single, or divorced? I've thought about you a lot over the years. I always wondered what if. I really did care for you in school. So, what are you doing now?"

"Lori, can we go and get something to eat and you can tell me all about yourself and I'll tell you my story."

"I'd like that. Let me take Jenny to my mom's and I'll meet you at our old pizza joint in about an hour. It's still there."

I gave her a hug and kissed little Jenny on the cheek. I don't know why I did that. I checked out my material and put it in my truck before I headed over to the pizza shop. I got a table and waited for Lori.

I smiled when she came in the door. I stood up and gave her a hug. We sat down and ordered our pizza. I told her I missed her so much and it was so good to see her.

"Jeff, if you missed me why didn't you come and see me? My parents still live at the same house."

"Lori, I wasn't good enough for you. You were going to college to make a good life for yourself. As much as I cared for you, I wasn't going to interfere with your life. Do you want to tell me about it?"

Lori nodded and cleared her throat.

"I went to college four years and got a teaching degree. I made the dean's list which means I got all A's. I dated some but had to watch who I went out with. I didn't have my protector in college. Anyway, I met the man who became my husband. We got married after graduation from college. I got a job at the grade school and after a few years, I had Jenny. My husband had a business degree and went into sales.

"He took an over the road job where he was gone about three days a week. I was raising Jenny pretty much by myself. After about a year, I found out that Ted was cheating on me. I asked for a divorce and of course got it. Ted has to pay child support but never comes to see Jenny. I'm still a teacher and mom watches Jenny for me. I ended up moving back in with mom and dad. That way I don't have to go back and forth with Jenny. Mom and dad love her and she's a great little girl. OK, it's your turn. What have you been up to?"

"Well, you remember the Miller's. I lived with them a while after I graduated. I rented the basement room from them. I ended up getting a job at the steel mill. It really pays good. I bought myself an old pickup truck that lasted a couple of years and then bought another one. A few years ago, Mr. Miller died and his wife went to a senior home. I made an offer on the house and contents. The house wasn't in very good shape so they accepted my offer. I spend most of my free time fixing it up. It looks a lot better than it did. You need to come by and see it sometime."

"How's your mom doing? If you don't mind talking about it," asked Lori.