All Comments on 'Whetstone High Sluts'

PLEASE review what you write before submitting. Or have someone EDIT it for you.

First off paragraphs can be, and often times should be, more than one sentence long. Secondly, use quotations for dialog. Finally, tag it properly. This isn't shouldn't be in the lesbian category.

waste of time. don't bother writing again until you've had more practice.

You need work on the grammar and that can be tremendously improved by using another person as an editor. Plot was okay, but following the story line was made difficult by the jumping nature and the lack of transitions. Work on the grammar and editing first.

Why was this put in lesbian sex anyhow. Rather put off that this was put in Lesbian sex and first act is hetro.

Seriously.

This first of all should have not have been placed in the Lesbian Sex genre. Secondly your story is too rushed you need to show us the story using descriptive detail not tell us what he did without more detail the story is bland and unrealistic.

You need more practice and the grammar was horrible. This should not have been in the Lesbian category. The story line was rushed

Not even lesbian and pay attention to grammer

..that we never see another word from you!

This was bad beyond belief.

STOP.

Please get someone to edit and correct your writing. The story started off nicely. Your lack of spelling and grammar destroyed it.

...never write another word!

No more please

I didnt even get hard or like what I was reading. You should get lost in your moms hairy pussy.