While You Were Sleeping Pt. 03

While sitting there, I thought about my own situation again. If I really was that drawn to let others think for me, I needed to figure out how to better assert myself. I decided to start better analyzing the interactions I was having with people, and see where it might lead me.

I went back to my parents' house for the night, and saw the divorce packet sitting on the desk again. I decided right then, if Matt really wanted to go through with it, then I would give it to him. I had been the one that screwed up, even though I still wished I could take it back. I just wished he could find it in his heart to forgive me, and see that he was supposed to be in my life.

The next night, I brought the signed papers with me, and left them at his house when I went home. I had to start thinking of my old house as his place now, if I was going to have any hope of moving on. I would still go visit the kids and be friendly to Matt, but had to be prepared for the hammer to fall when the divorce would be final. According to the letter from the lawyer, it would be likely about three to four months until it was final, if I didn't fight the terms. I did get in my bed that night and cry.

After a few more sessions with Rose, I was starting to feel more in control of things again. About the time I felt like things were getting better, the Police stopped by my parents' house. I had no idea what to think, now.

"Ma'am, my name is Officer Smith, and this here is my partner, Officer Dunleavey. May we come in?" asked the taller of the two.

"Yes of course. Officer what's this all about, anyhow? Is something wrong?" My mom came in from the kitchen to find out who was at the door. She looked as confused as I was, about the police being there.

"We would like to ask you some questions. First, when was the last time you saw Mr. Jim Harding?"

I was immediately thinking in overdrive. What could have happened now? I hated Jim more now than ever, but worried for Matt and what might have happened. I didn't want to lie, but I wouldn't want to help get him into trouble either.

"Officer, the last time I saw Jim was at the hospital, a few weeks ago, now. He stopped me in the parking garage, and we had a very brief conversation before heading home. Is something wrong?" I asked again.

"We will get to that in a minute, if you could just finish answering our questions first. When was the last time you saw your husband?"

"I saw him yesterday, when I was over at my house. You see, we are separated, but I have been there at the house every day after work. I have to help my daughter plan her wedding, so I have been over there most nights until late. Then I drive back here to my parents' house and go to bed."

"What time did you get to your house yesterday? You said after work right? About what time was that? Was your husband there the entire time?"

"Well I got off around four PM like usual, stopped for some gas on the way home and got to the house around four thirty or so. Yes, Matt was at the house the whole time. I was there through dinner and left about ten o'clock in the evening, to come here. Now, can you tell me what the heck is going on?"

"Mrs. Jordan, we found Jim in a hotel room, dead. He died of multiple gun-shot wounds, at approximately five PM yesterday afternoon. We have already talked with your husband, and he stated that he was home all night, and you were there as well. Thank you for confirming his alibi."

**************

Things come together for Matt

How can I begin to describe my Uncle Larry? He was a shorter fellow, probably just an inch or two above five feet tall. He wasn't exactly a huge guy, but he was a little overweight, and balding. He was very nice to everyone, in the family, but he did tend to be hard to hold a conversation with.

I went to see him, to ask him about his ex-wife and why they got divorced. No one in the family knew any of the details other than they split, and he filed for divorce. We had all been told it was "Irreconcilable differences", and no one knew more than that. If my mom recommended that I go see him, he must know something about my situation.

When I got to his house, he was already out front mowing his yard. He invited me inside so we could talk.

"Hey Uncle Larry, thanks for agreeing to see me."

"No problem. So what can I do for you?"

"Well, I am struggling with some issues with my wife, and my mom suggested I come see you. I honestly just want to know what really happened between you and Aunt Sue."

He sat back, got a slight frown on his face and replied. "She cheated on me. It's pretty simple, really. I came home early one day and found her in bed with a neighbor. I was so pissed I threw her out and divorced her. She tried to tell me how sorry she was, and how he had been coming on to her. At the time I didn't listen to her, and told her to fuck off."

He paused, to wipe a tear from his eyes. "It has been almost four years now, and I still miss her. I think about her, and wonder what if I had forgiven her? What if I had chosen to talk with her more about it, and try to move on? She said she made a mistake, and I know that everyone makes mistakes. I just couldn't get over her cheating. Now, looking back, I wish I could have a do-over.

"You see, after trying to reason with me, and begging me to take her back, she finally gave up. About a year ago she got remarried to a very nice guy, and they are very happy together. I still get mad thinking about what I saw that day, but I regret not trying to work it out with her, every day."

"Wow, I had no idea. Did you ever get even with the asshole that caused it all?" I asked.

"Well, sort of. I ended up getting him fired from his job, due to the lawsuit I filed against him. He also got divorced from his wife, who couldn't stand his ass, anyhow. He was a terrible neighbor, even before I caught them together. His ex-wife and I are now friends, but nothing more."

He got up, went into the kitchen, and came back with a picture of the two of them together. They looked so happy in the picture, it made me think of Jenn and me.

"You see, I still miss everything we had together. I don't think everyone deserves a second chance, but I truly wish I had given Sue a second chance. I would be a lot happier right now with her, than without her. I guess you have to ask yourself the question, 'Are you happier without her in your life?' and go from there. If she hurt you so bad that you can't find a way out, then you need to move on."

I was still thinking of that picture, and realized I had some serious thinking to do, yet. My family was the most important thing in my life. Did I really want to see it all come to an end? Did she deserve a second chance? Did we deserve a second chance?

"Thank you, Uncle Larry. I am very glad I came to see you."

"Anytime," He said.

I left with more questions than I came to him with, but at least he could understand my situation a little. Perhaps, I should go back to see that counselor, Rose? If not her, perhaps I could go see someone to help me deal with all the crap that I have been through. Jennifer said she was still seeing Rose, maybe it's helping her out?

The other thing I had to handle that day, was visiting the lawyer I had called. He was supposedly representing the trucking company for the guy that ran into me. I would have figured that my insurance would have reached out to me about it by now, seeing as they were covering the costs for my medical treatment. That couldn't have been cheap.

I got to the lawyers office, and had to wait in the lobby for about ten minutes, until a very slick looking man came walking out from one of the offices. He identified himself as Derrick Montrose, and asked me to follow him back to his office.

After we got seated he jumped right in, "Thanks for coming, Mr. Jordan. I represent United Trucking, the company that Mr. Worth used to work for. He was the man that fell asleep at the wheel and hit you."

"Forgive me for asking, but why didn't my family hear from you before? All I know was that I had an email at my work address. My parents said that they never got even a phone call from you or your office, and my wife said you never returned her calls."

"Sir, we did send a few letters to your house, and I personally visited your house but no one was home at the time."

Gee, it sounded like he tried REALLY hard to get in touch. "Ok, whatever, I'm here now. What sort of settlement are you offering us?"

"I would suggest you have an attorney review this with you, but here is a summary. United Trucking is offering to repay all of your medical expenses, as well as a one-time cash settlement in the amount of seven-hundred and fifty thousand dollars. On top of that, any on-going therapy or injury related loss of income is also being offered as compensation."

"Ok I will take this settlement offer and consider it. When do you need an answer by?" I asked.

"Contact my office anytime in the next week or two, no rush. Here is a copy of the offer, and my card with my number on it," he said as he handed me a small binder of paper, with his business card affixed to the top corner.

I left the office and went home. That night, when Jenn came over to talk with Sidney, I tried to be nice to her. She smiled, but otherwise, was wrapped up pretty well with the wedding planning. She had such a beautiful smile. Funny, but I don't get mad when I look at her now, just a little sad. I wish things could be the way they were before.

The next morning, I called Rose's office to make an appointment. I am sure they weren't expecting me to come back, but she didn't turn me away either. I set it up for two that afternoon, so I would have time to get home before the kids did.

I spent the rest of morning cleaning up around the house, and even did a little research for the accountant that had emailed me. He was looking to update some of the tax software that he used to help do other peoples' taxes. I sent him some information about different products and options we had, and what they would cost. Of course, he would get a discount seeing as he did work for us as well.

That afternoon, I went to see Rose. She smiled warmly as she welcomed me back into her office. Once we got settled in, she asked why I wanted to see her.

"So Matt, what can I do for you? You know I have been seeing your wife regularly after the last joint session you came to, right?"

"Yes, she told me. I'm actually here for me, if that's ok?"

"Sure, I can try to help you out. What do you want to talk to me about? Does it have to do with your situation with your wife?" She was asking a very obvious question, but the discussion had to start somewhere.

"I...I...I mean, I wish we could roll time back, and avoid that crash, but that's not my real struggle right now. I really don't want a divorce. I want to be able to forgive her, but just can't seem to get over it."

"Hmm, do you realize that you just said 'I' several times in that sentence, but only said 'we' once? You might be putting too much of this on yourself, or you might need to take a step back and think in a broader sense. Why do you think this blockage is solely YOUR problem?"

"To be honest, I have no idea. I guess, I just don't know what it is that seems unforgivable to me. I talked with an uncle of mine, and he gave me some perspective. He had a similar situation with his ex-wife, and now regrets not forgiving her, and staying married. I don't want to be like him, unhappy and alone."

"Matt, I still think you are thinking only about yourself here. I don't mean that in a negative way, other than to point out you are talking only about yourself. Think about this from your wife's perspective, or even from an eagle's perspective. Look at you and your wife from the outside, looking in. Now, what do you see?"

I thought about what she said for a minute. How DOES this look from someone who might be watching us, like my kids for instance? Am I doing the right thing? How does it look to examine my wife's story? I sat silently thinking about this for a minute, and decided I would need to re-evaluate how I viewed the whole problem.

"Rose, I think you are on the right track here. I have been so hyper-focused on my own issues that I haven't taken into account anyone else. I still don't know how to look at this from Jennifer's perspective, but perhaps sitting down with her and talking it out might help."

"That would be a great start. Communication is one of the primary pillars to any successful relationship, and it sounds like you and your wife need to work on that. Well, I think our time is about up. Would you like to come back next week?"

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea. I can call in tomorrow to setup the appointment." I said.

I left with more questions than answers, again. At least I felt I was making some progress towards SOME goal. She made me think more about how I had been behaving. Sure, I was hurt after her confession, but did I really listen to her? Jenn and I had so many great years, I thought, that I should have at least talked to her more. Only time will tell if opening up to her will help.

I got home just before the kids got home from school, and they all came in and said their usual "Hello," and ran up to their rooms. I was sitting in my home office doing some light research about one of my projects when there was a knock on the door. It was rather loud and demanding, so I got up and answered it. What I saw was not what I expected. I saw two uniformed police officers, and thought, oh shit, Jim must have filed assault charges against me or something.

"Mr. Jordan, I am Officer Smith, and this here is my partner, Officer Dunleavey. We have a couple of questions for you, if you don't mind. May we come in for a minute?"

The shorter one, Dunleavey, just stared at me. "Sure Officers, come on in."

I waved them in and over to the couch. "Would you gentlemen like some coffee?"

"No, thank you, sir. We really just need to ask you a few questions," Smith said.

"Ok, I will help in any way that I can. What's this all about?" I asked.

"Yesterday afternoon, where were you?" Smith asked.

"I was home, of course. I am still recovering from a coma I was in, but am feeling much better now, than when I first woke up. I should be returning to work next week, if everything checks out with my therapist."

"Did you ever leave the house, during the day or afternoon?"

"I left the house to go to get some things from the store, but that was about ten AM. After that I came back here, did my exercise routine, and then took a nap. I woke up around two-thirty PM, did some remote work from my home office, and then the kids got home from school. Am I in trouble? Do I need a lawyer or something?"

"Sir, you could request one, but at this time, we are just asking some questions to establish what happened yesterday. Do you want to call a lawyer?" When I shook my head, he continued. "So, where were you at approximately five PM yesterday?"

"Hmm, five o'clock would have put us having dinner. My wife came over, to help my daughter plan her up-coming wedding, and we had a family dinner around that time. Once the dinner was done, I watched some TV and then went to bed."

"You said your wife came over, does she not live here?" This was Dunleavey asking a question.

I turned to him, "Well yes, but we are separated at the moment, so she is living with her parents. What's this all about, anyhow?"

Smith looked at his partner, who nodded his head and started to explain a little. "Sir, we found your friend, Mr. Jim Harding was found dead last night in a motel room, with several GSW's to the chest. That's Gun Shot Wounds to you. We questioned everyone at the motel, and at his work, and his receptionist mentioned that you had stopped by to see him a few days ago. Is that right?"

"Yes, I did, to catch up on old times. I wanted to catch up on what I missed, while I was in the coma."

"Was there any argument or disagreement during that meeting?" Dunleavey asked this one again.

"No, we talked over coffee, and afterwards I left and came home. I had a physical therapy appointment that afternoon that I didn't want to miss." I didn't kill him, but there was no way I was going to admit fighting with him, either. I just hoped they didn't know the truth.

"Ok, well you have answered everything we have for you at the moment, but please don't leave town until we can get this mess figured out." Smith said.

"No problem, I will be here."

With that, they left and shut the door on the way out. What the hell? Jim was dead? What the fuck did he do now to get shot up in a motel room? Did he get caught with some other man's wife, too? I had no answers other than my ex-best friend was now gone. I definitely had mixed feelings about his death. Regardless of what he had done with my wife, before that, he was the best friend I ever had.

The next night, when Jennifer came over to help with the planning again, she asked me about it. She said the cops visited her, as well. I told her I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't too sad that he was gone, but would never have done anything like that. I didn't even own a gun.

I had gone to see Rose two more times, both going down the same path as I had the first visit. I was starting to realize, that maybe, I was part of the problem. I was starting to think I had a selfish streak, and was doing a lot of things in my life ONLY for me. My family meant more to me than anything, but if I was worrying more about myself than others too much, it could be hurting them. I would have to work on that.

The last few weeks of school flew by, and, before we knew it, Sidney's graduation was upon us. Of course Jennifer came, as well as both of our sets of parents. They wouldn't miss such a big event, even if the world was coming to an end. We sat and watched Sidney march across the stage to receive her Diploma, and alternated between clapping and hooting as she shook hands with the Principal. I think there were a few tears in folk's eyes at that sight.

As I sat next to my boys on my left, Jenn was sitting on my right side. As we watched her graduate, Jenn slipped her hand into mine at one point. The contact felt good, so I just left it for a bit, until it was time for us to stand up and cheer for her.

We sat back down but she didn't reach for my hand again. After the ceremony, she came over to us and we all hugged her. A few of her friends came over, and we congratulated them. After we all left, we went home, where we had a small party in her honor. I cooked on the barbeque, and both sets of Sidney's grandparents were there to help with the rest of the food. Jenn had made a dish too, so we were more than covered to feed everyone.

It was a great afternoon. Sidney was the real gem of the party, floating around talking with everyone. You could just tell she was on cloud nine after graduating. Jarred was also with her most of the time, so that could have had something to do with her happiness, too. All I know was when I looked around, I saw my family. The people who mattered the most to me were all there, and enjoying the celebration. It truly was a happy day.

After everyone pitched in to help cleanup, the guests all left for home. Jenn stuck around to work with Sidney on a few last minute wedding details, then left for the night herself. When I went to bed, I felt both happy and sad. The day was great. It had truly felt like things were as they should be.

I woke up the next morning, and life moved on. My little girl just graduated, and in about a week would be getting married. I still couldn't believe that. It was only just yesterday that she was learning to ride a bike, and playing with a tea set in her room with Jenn. I was invited to a few of those tea parties too. I smiled, thinking about those good times.