Whispers in the Woods Pt. 04

I slowly sipped my coffee, watching as the sun appeared from below the urban horizon. The air was crisp, and I could hear a soft breeze rustling the leaves outside. It felt... Peaceful.

It have been about a month since we moved in together. We had come to a bit of a routine. Dave asked me to start cleaning and cooking for us, since he wants me to learn how to feed myself and him with something other than frozen dinner. We would watch TV together, and spend nights talking and just overall hanging with each other. What impressed me the most was that nothing felt weird. It felt like I always lived there.

I said that I would look for a job while we were still settling in, but I hadn't really been in the right state of mind. The thought of leaving the comfort of our new home and facing the outside world felt daunting. And not going to lie, having the whole day to have sex and spend time with Dave was really good. But today, something had shifted inside me. I felt stronger, capable.

I grabbed my laptop, set on the living room table and opened Indeed, scrolling through the listings. The results were... Uh... Sub optimal.

- "Wanted: male stripper. Must be able to work weekends" - I muttered to myself, taking a sip of coffee and grimacing - No, thank you.

I kept scrolling, searching for something that was actually worth a shot.

- "Sales associate. Must be outgoing and have a winning personality." - I read aloud, a frown appearing on my face - Yeah... That is a nope for me.

Days kept going in the same pattern. Sometimes I would find a good lead and send a few emails, but nothing came out of it. My frustration was mounting. I was constantly stressed, and sleeping worse than I was when I used to work on my last job. It was two more months until I found a couple of ads that seemed to be an okay fit for me.

- Hey, honey. I finally found some decent job leads today! - I say, as I see Dave enter the room.

- Did you apply for them? - Dave asks, his gaze falling to my computer screen.

- Yup. - I nod, feeling proud of myself.

- Well, good -- he kissed me on the cheek - You know, you might want to start looking for a different field of work, something more... uh... simple.

- Simple? What is that supposed to mean? - I raise an eyebrow.

- Well, nothing.

- Dave's face turned a bit red - It's just that I think it's a good idea to keep your options open, and there are plenty of things out there. Besides... The IT field is quite misogynistic, you know that quite well.

- And? You think I'm not strong enough or something?

- You are a strong person, and you have a lot to offer, Alex. But... Well, let's just say that I know a bit more about the IT industry than you, okay? I've been on this ride for way more time than you.

- Okay... So what would you recommend for me to do then?

- There are plenty of jobs available. Maybe consider something else? Something that doesn't require you to spend hours in front of a computer. Like, a personal assistant, or a secretary, for example.

- So, a woman's job? - My voice was sharp. I know that those are not necessarily jobs for women, but coming from him, I knew exactly what he meant.

- No. It's just a suggestion. Something that doesn't drain you, something that does not make you loose sleep at night.

- Dave. I'm a grown ass adult. I know what's fucking best for me. - I snapped.

- I'm sorry if you felt hurt by that, okay? - he tried to calm down my nerves - Just remember that if you need anything, you can always talk to me.

- Okay - I sigh - Sorry for lashing out at you, too.

- Its okay - Dave said with a half smile, before going out of the living room.

I sat there, staring at the computer screen, my mind almost blank. On one hand, I appreciated Dave's concern and desire to see me in a less stressful job. On the other hand, the suggestion of more "traditional" roles felt like a step backward, a compromise of the independence I had fought so damn hard for. I know looking for jobs have been hard, but I know I will find something some day.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to forget about that and focus on the job listings in front of me. As I sent out more email applications, I couldn't shake off the feeling that even though maybe not as a secretary, I actually needed a career change, something that aligned better with my skills and passions. Or at least, something that I could make money on.

More days turned into more weeks, and the routine of searching for jobs became even more frustrating. No one was calling me, not even emailing me to say I was rejected.

After a while, I just needed a break and decided to go out with Jas. Jasmine and I go way back to high school, and she has been a constant in my life since then. She's not just a friend, she's a rock, someone who's seen me through thick and thin.

Jas is unapologetically black and trans, embracing her identity with a confidence that's infectious. I cannot lie that she has been a very good influence in my life.

She got high cheekbones and a face that tells you she seen some shit. Her eyes are a warm shade of brown, expressive and direct. Her hair is always changing, sometimes in tight braids, sometimes rocking the natural curls, like today. Standing tall, she's got an athletic build, and I'm sure she could crush me if she wanted. In terms of dress, she's rocking a fitted black blazer and underneath it, a deep red blouse that adds a pop of color, no flowery patterns -- just a bold, solid hue. That, paired with tailored black trousers that cut sharp lines... She means business.

- Man, this job hunt sucks. - I said, sitting at a bar counter.

The food was terrible and the beer was weird, no wonder why there was no one but us there.

- It always does. - Jas replied, a sad smile on her face.

- You don't have any openings, right? It's been six months, almost.

- Even though it doesn't look like it, I'm barely scraping by myself - she chuckles a bit and take a sip out of her beer - You think I would be able to employ anyone else?

- Fuck. It's like I'm cursed - I hold my head on my hands for a second.

- You're not cursed. You just need a new path. Something that's more fulfilling. - She offered.

- What? Like, being a secretary or an assistant? - I snorted, taking a sip of my drink and rolling my eyes.

- Not necessarily. And by the way, what the hell is wrong with those jobs? - she looks at me, incredulous.

- Everything! Well, firstly... They are boring. They are not challenging, and definitely not fun. - and I would feel a bit.. dysphoric working on them. But I will not tell you about the internalized misogyny I'm still working on. Nope. Not today, Satan.

- Have you ever tried them before?

- No, but you know I only work on IT, that's like, the only thing I know how to do.

- You know how to do IT, but are you passionate about it? - She pressed, raising an eyebrow - I never, ever seen you say something positive about your gigs.

- Passionate? Wake up, we live in a society, something, something. There is no space for that kind of bullshit in the real world.

- Alex, you need to chill the fuck down. - she looks at me as all this mess was as simple as children's play.

- Enjoy your little vacation with your sugar daddy or something, take care of him, and of yourself, specially. Then you might start looking for something.

- Sugar daddy? He's no-

- Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.

We kept drinking and talking about everything, and after a few hours, I was suddenly back home. Actually I don't even remember quite well how I got there. I think Jas brought me there? Or maybe a taxi?

- You're home late, Alex - Dave asked, sat in the sofa, looking at me with a question mark in his eyes.

- Sorry, I drank too much - I admitted, grabbing the wall to stay up. The world was beginning to spin a bit.

- Is everything okay? - he got up, leaving the book he was reading on the sofa.

- Not really. I was with Jas, and I had a few drinks with her.

- I see. You should try not to do that anymore, though. Alcohol is not good for you, especially when you're unemployed - he said gently, holding my arm.

- Dave. Seriously? I'm not a kid, okay? - I let go of him, almost falling.

- No. I know you're not. - He said, his hand far from me, now.

- So stop acting like I am.

- Alright - he puts his hands up in the air.

- You're such an asshole sometimes.

- I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help you - he looks at me, and I can't decipher his expression.

- Help me?

- We will talk tomorrow, okay? Let me help you go to the bedroom.

- No, thanks. I'm going to sleep in the guest room tonight. - I said, almost tripping in the stairs.

- No, I will. But I will not let you get up to the bedroom without help. Not in that state.

He helped me go up, took me to the bathroom even before I puked, and insisted to me that I should take a shower. Twice. Even though I got naked many, many times in front of him, I could not deny myself, I was embarrassed. As the booze seemed to leave my body, I became more conscious of what I've done. I could see in his eyes as he rubbed me, he was almost worshiping my body, with all the patience he could muster.

- Why are you doing this, Dave? - I asked, sitting in the tub, with the water flowing, covering my breasts, the water and the foam hiding my shame -- Even after I treated you like that.

- Because I care about you, Alex. And I want to help you -- He stopped soaping my back.

- Dave... You're doing too much for me, I should...

- Don't say that. Please, don't say that. - His voice was soft, almost pleading.

- This is... I... It's all going too fast. - I couldn't look into his eyes.

- Do you need anything else? - he asked and got up, a moment of silence between us.

- No - He closed the bathroom door behind him.

- Thank you for... Helping me - I whispered.

He came back and helped me get dressed and put me to sleep in our bed. The next morning, Dave had left a cup of water in my bedside table, along with a couple of Advils and a note.

"Take care. I will be home late. - Dave."

He would normally spend most days working at home, but sometimes he had to travel for his work. I tried to send him some messages during the day, but he did not respond to any of them. I started getting anxious, and by the end of the day, I was completely restless. My thoughts were running wild.

What if I said the wrong thing? Well I obviously did. What if he is mad at me? Well he obviously was. What if he doesn't love me anymore?

I tried to occupy my mind playing some video games, and even though that did not help at all, I kept playing until I couldn't stay awake any longer. At around 4AM, the sound of a car on the rain outside woke me up. I got up, still sleepy, and went to the front door. It was still locked. There was no sign of Dave. I walked to the back of the house. The lights in the garage were still on, And I finally saw him. He was inside the jeep, getting ready to get up. The car was still wet from the rain outside.

- Dave? - I asked, worried.

- Hey. Sorry if I woke yo- As soon as Dave opened the door I ran and hugged him, as tight as I could.

- What happened?

- I'm so sorry - I started crying profusely -- I... You...

- It's fine, Alex. Everything is okay. - He whispered, rubbing my back, soothing me.

- I'm sorry for being such a bitch with you.

- Its okay, baby. - he hugged me tightly

- I am afraid of not getting a job, I don't want to burden you any longer, I feel like I only fuck thing up every time

- Its okay. Really. I love you living here, and I... There would be no problem with you being home for me all the time, if you wanted to. I could take care of everything for you. You could be my little housewife -- He looked at my eyes, and as soon as he saw a bit of incredulity, he changed the subject - But for now, lets get inside, okay? It's cold in the garage.

I nodded, and he put his arm around my shoulders as we headed back inside. I still felt a bit bad for the way I've been treating him in the last months, and once we were back inside, he suddenly kissed me. Hard. His hands were on my hips, lifting me up while he got up the stairs.

- Dave, what are you doing? - I put my hands on his neck, holding myself and laughing a bit.

- Since you don't believe me, I will punish you for being bad - he said with a smile on his face -- Take your shirt off.

- Oh god, no. - I whispered, laughing and doing what he said.

He put me on the bed and threw his shirt off. Fuck. I could see his bulge underneath his trousers, his hairy chest going up and down as he breathed. He got closer to me and kissed me again, making me moan with his intensity.

- Today you will obey me, no matter what happens -- He said, looking straight in the eyes.

My mind clouded with arousal as he took my pants and underwear off and his fingers found my slit, parting my lips.

- Oh, you're so wet already... You fucking whore. - He never treated me like that before. It was a shock, but then he inserted a finger in me, making me gasp and arch. - You're so fucking tight, fuck.

- Yes, please. I want you so bad - I pleaded, moaning and bucking my hips against his hand.

He took his pants off, I don't even know how he did it so fast, and then kissed me, biting my lower lip and inserting his cock inside me in one single motion. I closed my eyes, feeling full and moaning hard as he started moving inside of me.

- Bad girls like you need a hard punishment to know their place - He pushed me against the bed, his body pinning me down, fucking me as hard as he could.

I didn't know how to answer, or think. Hearing he directly misgender me made me get... So fucking wet. Even though I feel disgusted with myself, I couldn't stop him, nor I wanted to. He continued to fuck me hard and rough. He grabbed my hair, pulling me closer to him. He bit my neck, leaving a trail of bite marks all over it.

- You like that, don't you, slut? - he said, his voice husky, his cock buried deep inside me.

I took a bit too long to answer, and he pulled my hair again, waiting for an answer.

- Y-yes, sir - I said between moans.

- Good girl - He whispered, his voice low and husky. He continued to pull my hair, now sucking on my nipples - It's good, isn't it? To feel like this... To be mine?

- Oh, fuck... Yes, sir - I said, between moans.

- Do you want more? - he asked firmly, and I nodded profusely -- Then tell me you are my good girl.

- No, Dave, please.. Don't make me -- I still had a bit of dignity left inside of me, I would never purposefully misgender myself.

- Say it -- he held my face with his hand and looked at me while pounding me - I know you want to.

- Please, no... - I was so close, so fucking close... I just needed some release.

- Say it, whore -- he slapped me in the face, and I swear I almost came there and then.

Fuck..

- I'm your good girl -- I screamed and pleaded with him, desperate for more, desperate for release -- Please Daddy, let me cum, please.

He smiled. A deviant smile I've have never seen before, and then said:

- Cum for me, Alexandra.

As soon as he said that, he trusted harder, deeper, hitting my insides again and again, his free hand rubbing my clit desperately...

And I had the most powerful orgasm of my life.