White Freshman, Black Coeds Ch. 05

From the author, wanted to respond to the 3 comments so far.

BigGuy: Yeah, I'm still struggling with chapter length. 1) not knowing how many Literotica pages they'll come out to be, but I'm getting more of a handle on that. 2) This is kind of meant to be a "day in the life" concept, just on days when things happen, so I kind of like keeping the episodes short. But if you like the concept and the writing, maybe wait until some Chapters are piled up before reading.

Anonymous: I don't entirely get the "urban legends" reference, but as for the interracial thing, Mark is essentially me at that age, and in sophomore year of college I was literally stopped in my tracks by the beautiful face of a black cheerleader amongst a group of white cheerleaders, and that stayed with me. Then at age 38 I met quite by accident a beautiful black lady and married her. So I'm just letting Mark discover that earlier in life. I don't think I harp on it the racial differences, and don't use the tired old stereotypes, but as a white man I think I can say that there's something at least somewhat erotic about racial difference, and I think many black women feel the same way. Just that curiosity of, "What are they like? Could I ever date one? Marry one? Am I allowed to be aroused by her brown skin, or his white?"

Ethan: thanks for commenting on another of my chapters. And for noting a few more followers, as well as for noticing my revisions to 1-4; I hope that made them more readable. I WILL get my story out. I've already written Ch. 11, and will probably get to Ch. 20 before even coming close to exhausting the ideas in my head. (Cunninlingus doesn't show up until then, though, to answer your comment from Ch. 4.)

Ah, the dream sequence, interesting that you read it that way, "was it a dream or not?" As I was writing it I actually got lost in that myself, to the point that I had to go back and edit some things where I myself got sucked into it and thought it was real. And I'd even written a whole long back-story about how Akilah had become somewhat sexually experienced, but those events took place when she was 16, and then I realized Literotica wouldn't let me publish that. But I saved it and it'll probably show up as a tangent (or separate) tale later, when she (or whoever it ends up being) is 18 though. That was just a name I pulled out of the air, and I don't know where the "I knew you in HS came from," but it's an intriguing thought that he actually did know an Akilah. Maybe he'll run into her (by that name) at WSU, or someone like her that he actually did know.

Queen Bee has a name, and is pretty fleshed out as a character I think. In the chapters after Mark passes her interview there's a lot of dialogue from her, plus dialogue and thoughts from Mark, and dialogue from a young lady Mark is introduced to in that process. That will go on for several Chapters, and won't be the raw sex some readers are looking for, but is more tender and involves feelings and the angst that young people feel when going through their sexual awakenings.

Thanks again for following along, but especially for commenting.

Hi, Mark L. (the author); Congratulations on acquiring more Followers. : )

(I somewhat-agree with "BIGGUY[...]" that most of what you have already posted could be considered a "setup" -- and contained within *longer* chapters; however, I hope that you will get the story which you want to tell "out" (and finished) here, and that you will eventually "get the hang of" creating a story with longer chapters.

With respect to the dream in Chapter 5: I was a bit perplexed by its length (I somewhat-expected to find out that it wasn't a dream at all, and by its content and detail (umm... -- does Mark (the character) actually remember a girl named Akilah from high school, or did that name just com to mind??) ; I hope that the chapter with Mark (the character) 's "interview" with "the Queen Bee" (*please* give the young woman an actual name, there!) will contain a clearly-told account of dialogue (and possibly of sexual activity). )

Good Luck (and thanks for the revision of the first 4 chapters).

Ethan in New York City)/"nycreader".

It's odd, like in so many other stories not entirely about urban legends, this one would be at least 50% better if you left the racial component out altogether.

You're dragging this out way to slow. Five chapters that could have been two and would have done just as good. People that read here do like to keep the story flowing and it just gets started and the chapter ends. Not good. Rating may drop do to this and not the actual writing.