Who's Sorry Now?

Debra looked at Bryan as if he were mad "YOU BASTARD. You lie to me to get me to cheat on my husband now you expect me to set up house with you. GET OUT NOW, I never want to see you again. You conned me into cheating on the only man I have ever loved and probably destroyed my marriage in the process. We were planning on starting a family next year, now that may never happen."

As Debra tore into Bryan I saw a woman hurt and desperate. Her face held a look of pure hate and Bryan was the recipient.

"I should have known that Ian would not cheat on me but I chose to believe you rather than have faith in him. God knows that I have given him reason to want another woman with my refusal to try new things and keep our sex life exciting but, despite all that, he has always accepted me for who I am and stuck by me. He has never been anything but a considerate lover always putting me first. Do you know that since we first made love he has always made sure that I have had at least one orgasm, and usually more, before he thinks of himself? All of those things that I said about you being a better lover were said to hurt Ian and I want you to know that you aren't in the same league as him. Know this you fucking hypocrite, if Andrea needs a witness for her divorce she can count on me. Now leave before I do something I will regret."

Regaining her strength Debra stood and faced Bryan then, just as quickly, she kneed him in the balls. "I was wrong I don't regret it at all."

Bryan let out a whimper and sank to his knees, clutching his groin, a look of extreme pain on his face. For a moment it appeared as if he would throw up but he managed to control his stomach. Staggering to his feet he grabbed his jacket from the chair and left the room, probably to the bedroom to get his bag as it was several minutes later that I heard the front door slam shut. Hearing the door Debra was brought back to reality and also left the room, later she returned carrying a small overnight bag. Sitting at the table she wrote the note and placed a small kiss on the page before sealing it in an envelope. Standing, she slowly looked around the room, almost as if she were trying to burn it into her mind so as never to forget it. Lightly fingering a framed picture of the two of us holding each other and laughing, she whispered something that was to low to be heard by the camera Her slight frame shuddered as a bout of tears racked her and she seemed to collapse in on herself. Struggling to compose herself she wiped the tears from her eyes. Picking up her bag and the envelope she moved out of the shot and seconds later the sound of the front door closing could be clearly heard.

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Turning off the VCR I sat on the couch and finished my beer while contemplating what I had just seen and heard. Some of the things that I had seen on the video that Debra had sent to me now started to make sense. It was clear to me that the sex with Bryan was an act of revenge from which she had derived little real pleasure. It wasn't an act of love and had been driven by her mistaken belief that I had cheated. While it didn't excuse what she had done it did put it into a different light, and I now had no doubts that Debra still loved me.

The stress of the last few days was starting to take effect now that the adrenalin had stopped pumping and I knew any decisions I had to make would need a clear head. Putting the empties into the trash I headed off to bed, dropping into a fitful sleep.

The next day was Monday and I had to go into the office. No, that's not right, I could have begged off going in and just faxed the details into Gail. The truth is that I wanted to go in so that I could see the look on Bryan's face when the shit hit the fan.

Arriving early I prepared my last surprise for the bastard who would soon reap the very sour oats he had sown. I had made a special tape of my last visitor to the hotel and placed it on Peter's desk before he arrived. I knew that he was always in by 7.30 am and that he would have seen it before Bryan arrived at his usual 8.30 am. The tape was a copy of my

interview with Marie, Peter's wife. In it she admitted her affair with Bryan and explained how he had come on to her.

Without it the company may have just dismissed Bryan not wanting the bad publicity but once Peter saw the tape I knew that he would hand Bryan over to the police. I had no idea what sentence he could receive but, whatever it was, it wouldn't be enough for what he had made me suffer

At 8 am I received a call from Peter that as soon as Bryan arrived he wanted to see him in his office. I couldn't help smirking as I hung up knowing that there was no way that he could talk his way out of this, and as yet he didn't even know. Not trusting myself to talk to him I left a message for Bryan to see Peter, then went to talk with Gail about the trip and the new contract. At 9 am I watched as Bryan was escorted to his desk then to the door by two very big security guards. The look on his face was priceless. He knew that I had set it up but didn't know how. I am sure that he had thought that I wouldn't do or say anything at work because of the embarrassment it would cause. Well he knew better now.

The rest of the day was a busy blur as I shuffled and reshuffled the staff to cover Bryan's workload now that he was no longer with us.

Andrea's phone call came at lunch time and I was able to talk to her at length. She had decided to go through with the divorce and wanted to know if I would help her through it. Of course I agreed and suggested that as we were both alone and in need of company that I take her to dinner. At first she was hesitant but eventually agreed. I told her that I would pick her up at 7pm and to bring a list of any questions she had.

Andrea was ready when I arrived to pick her up and had made a real effort with her appearance. "God you look great! Let's go before I loose control and try to take advantage of you." I knew it was a corny line but at least it brought a smile to her face. Taking her hand I led her from the house to my car.

The dinner was terrific and despite the reason behind it all I enjoyed myself. Andrea's company went a long way to making me feel better about what had happened.

After dinner I drove her home and took her to the door. Kissing her on the cheek I thanked her for a great night and again told her that she was not to worry as I would be there for her.

As I turned to leave Andrea spoke quietly. "Ian don't go yet. I need to be with someone and you are the only one who cares about me." Seeing the look in my eyes she quickly continued. "Not in a sexual way but I need someone to hold me, to make me feel wanted. Could you do that for me? Please?" The last word spoken as a plea for help tugged at my heart.

"Of course. I can stay as long as you need me. It's not often that I get the chance to hold such a beautiful woman."

Opening the door I put my arm around her and helped her into the house. As I held her I realized that in helping her I was also helping myself. In return Andrea was giving me a feeling of being needed, a feeling of worth. Sitting in darkness on the sofa each lost in our own thoughts Andrea drifted off to sleep. I was sure that she hadn't had much sleep last night as she was soon breathing deeply getting the rest she so badly needed. I found a blanket in one of the bedrooms and covered her before heading off to my own place.

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A few days later Peter called me into his office. I expected the worst realizing that his wife had probably told him whom she had spoken to. Imagine my surprise when instead of firing me he congratulated me on my tactfulness and thanked me for letting only him know. In answer to his unspoken question I assured him that he had the only tape of the interview and that Bryan's diary had been destroyed. It was a lie. I had both at home in my safe. The look of relief and the heartfelt thanks from Peter again surprised me but not as much as his next statement.

"Ian this company is in a very strong position and I don't need to tell you that it will continue to grow rapidly in the next few years. It needs men of integrity like you, men who know the right thing to do. I know that you can grow with the company, I can see big things in the not to distant future for you."

"Thanks Peter I appreciate it but I only did what I thought was right, nothing more."

Peter paused for a few seconds before continuing. "We did a bit more checking and found out that the bastard had been taking kickbacks from the companies that he had been dealing with. The whole thing has been handed over to the police and he has been charged. With any luck he will spend some time as a guest of the government."

A pained look came into his eyes and he seemed to be someplace other than his office as he went on. "I'm divorcing her. The tape will ensure she will get very little and my attorney said that there will be no problems. I have known for some time that she was cheating. He wasn't the first. Now with your help I have the proof to set me free so I can get on with the rest of my life. If you don't have trust you don't have a marriage. It's the same in business you need to work with people you can trust."

Looking at him I saw a man in great pain. He had been very much in love with her and this decision had not been an easy one for him. "Peter. I appreciate what you are saying and I do want to get ahead in the company, but not because of another persons pain. If I do go on to bigger and better things I hope that it is due to my business abilities and not because I was able to help you."

He smiled at me, a pale weak smile "As I said a man of integrity. Ian I have kept you from things you need to do and it is time you thought of yourself. Take a few days off and see if you can't save your marriage before things get out of control."

I was stunned, I had no idea he knew of my wife's involvement with Bryan.

"Thanks Peter, I think that I will take you up on that."

Walking away I had the strangest feeling that I had just been played like a fiddle.

As I arrived at my office Gail spotted me and came into the office closing the door she gave me a sad supportive look then said "Ian, I don't know all the details but this place has few secrets. You know that if I can help in any way you only have to ask. My hubby and I have some idea of what you are going through, we had a similar thing happen a few years ago. The good news is if you both want it to work then you can get through it."

Pausing she gave an embarrassed cough then continued. "Your wife has rung twice this morning and said she will ring back. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Thanks Gail, for caring and for your and Andy's support. Thank him for me won't you. I do need to talk to Debra. When she calls put her through. Oh! By the way I will be taking a few days off. If anything important comes up you have my cell phone number, please call me."

Nodding Gail left me to my thoughts.

Debra's call came through about 30 minutes later just as I was finishing up and getting ready to leave.

"Hi Ian, it's me Debra. I know that you probably don't want to talk to me but I just had to call to make sure that you are OK."

"Hi Deb, no I'm fine. How about you, how are you holding up?"

I thought I heard a catch in her voice as she answered "To be truthful I feel like shit. These have been the worst days of my life. Still it's all my own fault. Look I won't take up any more of your time I just wanted to.. you know …well I'm glad you're OK."

Click. She hung up before I had a chance to tell her that we should meet and talk.

Quickly I keyed in her parents number, praying that she was there and not out somewhere else. On the second ring it was picked up. Before she had a chance to say anything I said "Debra."

"Yes. Ian what's wrong?"

"Yes it's me. You are, you're wrong!!"

"What do you mean I'm wrong?"

"I mean that I do want to talk to you. But first I need to know something."

"What is that?"

"Do you really want to make our marriage work?"

I could hear her breathing but nothing else, just a stunned silence. Then she answered her voice quietly calm "Yes of course I want to make it work but I don't see how it can. How can you forget what I did? I can't even begin to forgive myself let alone expect you to forgive me."

"Debra I can't say that we will ever forget what happened but I do know that I love you and I believe that you love me. I know that you are a part of me and losing you would be more than I could bear. The other thing that I have come to realize is that to forgive someone you need to care enough about them to want to forgive them. I'm not saying that it doesn't still hurt or that it will be easy. I am saying that I want to try, and I will do anything to make it work. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and if it takes time or counseling to get us to that point, then so be it."

There was sobbing sounds coming from the phone and I realized that I was crying as well. Tears dripping down my cheeks were spotting the papers on my desk.

"Please don't cry darling. I know that things are going to be alright. Look we need to talk and it's hard on the phone. Can I come round and pick you up? We can go some place and make a start, maybe home or if you'd rather we can go some place else." I was starting to ramble and paused to try to steady myself.

"I'm crying because I'm so happy, I thought that I had lost you for good. Yes come and get me please. I want to see you; I've missed you so much. Ian can I come home please? I want to be with you."

"Pack your bag; I'll be there to get you in 30 minutes. I love you."

Hanging up the phone I looked up to see Gail grinning at me from the doorway and giving me the thumbs up. Running over she kissed me on the cheek. "You go get her; I'll look after everything here. See you in a couple of days."

"Thanks Gail, I owe you one. Call me if you have to, but only if you have to."

Grabbing my jacket I ran to the car, then sat in it for ten minutes torn in two directions by my feelings. I couldn't wait to see Debra but there was still that fear. How would I re-act once we sat down to talk it through? I know that when I thought about the two of them together I still got very angry. Debra had been misled but the things she had done with Bryan still hurt, especially the things that she had refused to do with me. It rankled me to know she didn't have enough trust in me to ask me outright about the supposed affairs but had enough trust in Bryan to believe him.

Starting the car I drove still not having come to any decision.

Driving over to her parents place I sorted through my feelings and they boiled down to two choices. Did I want to spend the rest of my life with Debra or did I want to toss her aside and find someone else?

The answer was easy. I still loved Debra deeply and the fear of losing her filled my heart with an icy chill. However, the fear of living our lives together with this hanging over us, driving a wedge between us and turning away from each other, was equally real. What if she didn't want to be with me? I had said some pretty nasty things to her, and she would have been hurt by what Bryan had done, should I have forgiven her and just dealt with Bryan?

OK so if I just gave up now, then there was no chance for our marriage but, if we made the effort then it was possible that we could work through this nightmare. If it didn't work out then all I would have lost is a little time, and that time was worth less to me than Debra.

Turning into her street, and only minutes from the house, I made up my mind on how I should handle it. Communication or lack of it had been our problem, so I had to be as open as I could with her. That meant telling her how I felt about everything, my fears and what I wanted for both of us. It also meant that I would insist on counseling for both of us. We couldn't get through this alone and professional help would reduce the emotional scarring and set us on track back to where we were.

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I won't say it was easy but eventually with counseling we got our marriage back on track. It has been two years now and mostly it is a distant memory. We both made a commitment not to refer to it again outside counseling or when we were discussing some of our concerns. On the positive side I have no doubts about Debra's love for me and she in return has the utmost faith and trust in me.

To say that it has, in some ways, made our marriage stronger is misleading, but we do talk openly now about our feelings. This communication has given each of us a confidence in ourselves and each other and that has made us both stronger people. As I write this we are expecting our first child within the next few days and both agree that making this commitment to bring a child into the world means we have finally gotten over the hump.

As for Andrea, she and I have remained good friends. It took some time but she forgave Debra and while they are not yet the best of friends they are polite to each other. Andrea has a new man in her life and confided in me that they have spoken of marriage and a family. I can just see her as a mum.

The End