All Comments on 'Why Did She Hate Me? Ch. 02'

We should find out how Mom took it when she found out her Kids were married and had Grand Kids. Maybe Mom and Dad would have wanted other Partners for their kids but Their Happy.

I love this story, it is outstanding & yes you should write another part to this story.

I think this is a great story & you should write more stories like it soon.

I did like the story. At the same time, it would be very good for you to take the comments about spelling, grammar, syntax seriously. If you want a wider range of folks to enjoy your stories, (that is why you write them, isn't it?) then take advantage of the many generous folk at Literotica who offer editing.

Complaints about technical details on editing are not done out of meanness. If spelling and punctuation is not your strength, don't let the story fail, get help.

you should have stopped while you were behind this was worse than the first. the first belonged in the fantacy area after all it was a dream and this would have been ok if you had left out all references to the dreams as a second chapter it was ruined by the first chapter it goes against human nature there is no way in hell he would ever have gone back and he sure wouldn't fuck her or marry her keep it atleast sounding realistic or put it in the fantacy area

What else can I say?

Well I had sent this to 2 different editors. They said that they had fixed any spelling and grammar errors. And good old ms word well as I said the reviews on this greatly depends on if I keep writing or not. And to answer the one readers question on how I came up with this story. To be honest I don't know. I just started typing and this is what I ended up with. I have about 50 or so of small 2 pagers that aren't worthy of seeing a post and are just saved on a flash drive. Anyway thank you for your constructive criticism.

I love this story, this is my second time reading it. I hope you keep on writing & don't pay any attention to the Grammar Police, they should be outlawed. Some people can't say anything good about a story if their life depended on it.

I really loved this story I have read it several times Please continue to write I was hoping that the story wouln't end but we know everything has to end keep up the good work and write some more

Well I have read all of the comments and I thank those of you that have requested me to keep writing. So I am just letting you know that you have been heard I am in the middle of writing another story and I do promess that it will be better as far as spelling and grammer everything that I was critisized over. I hope not to disapoint and hopefully I will have the story up soon.

Phixman

This story had potential but all of the dreaming ruined it. The fact that they both had the same clairvoyant/psychic dream where they declared their love for each other makes the story too unrealistic.

Then the fact that everything happened the exact(word for word) way that it happened in their dreams makes this story more made for sci-fi than erotica.

From some of the spelling and word usage it would look like you are not familiar with the English language. I would suggest that you get an editor to check out your submissions in the future. Or else take an English class at your nearest university. Other than that the story content was good except I agree with the other comment about the dream sequence. Keep up the good work. You have great potential.

not worth reading

I loved it!

You have great potential, keep writing!

The intimate moments were very well written, made me very hot and bothered and the dream that James had, made me all teary-eyed.

Loved it! Write more please!

you basicly just copied a story that used to be on this site called A SCORE TO SETTLE. the only real difference was this was cousins that one was brother and sister. both were totally unrealistic and not worth reading.

I did really love this story, I'm a sucker for happy ending's :)

Did realt like the storyline and the character building..

Please write more...

Can you please continue writing this is so good! I love it so much and it is just incredible... Please write more

I love this story it had me in tears a few times. I didn't like the father disowning them but I guess that more relistic also kinda wished you would have made more chapters instead of just ending it but it was a good story. Hope you write more stuff like this 5*****

please keep going if you can find the motivation. Would be nice to also read about reconciliation with the parents.

What an exciting read. Loved it and hope you write some more. Thank you.

Absolutely, write more like this one.

Well, two things. The first thing is that you have so many spelling errors I had to interpret a lot of your sentences. It would have been a lot better if you checked your spelling. The second thing is that you left the story hanging. You moved it to the future and left out the parents. That would have been another chapter or two to really bring it to closure it needed. Parents would not give up their kids knowing they have grandchildren.

I liked it, a very good story