by Harddaysknight
It's always a bright day when a new HDK song is posted!
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There are a couple of minor flaws in the revenge plan, but who cares? This was great!
This was fun except I do think is a crime to remove a label from a pillow. Thank you for the enjoyment!
Getting the wife to admit her concern over her Lover RAY then getting her to tell the kids... so she looks like a slut AND she looks nuts since Ray isnt dead and she appears to be telling lies about daddy... was well done.
I enjoyed it throughout but would have liked the ending expanded. Maybe a sequel? Thanks for your words and time writing them.
love your story and this one was also great. in our state you have to also register a deer at a state taging station but that is maine!!
Silly is good.
I've always been wary about those damn tags myself. You'll find one on every pillow in my house. The G-Men won't catch me on that one.
This Author has a devious mind and the ability to express it in a humorous way - even though he tries to tell a serious lifelike rendering of the guy next doors problems DR.<P>
Wonderful work and certainly among your best - to date.<P>
No real complaint but some word Klinkers [proofread] will make your efforts almost perfect.<P>
With Very High Regard
The entire sequence of events would be vertully impossible in reality. Stupid story.
much like some of the things I have done to nice people. Like calling a funeral home and ordering two hundred chairs to be put out in the lawn of some "dear" friend. I really liked the story except for the fact the wife was still in the picture. Seems she should have gotten a message with regard to the knife, heart, and blood. Any woman with brains would have been in another town the next day. The implied revenge would be to much. And fucking a slut is to dangerous medically to even consider. Living here in NW PA I agree there are some of us that might do this. Ah well, the praying to the gods over the kill was escellent. After all we do for now have religious freedom, cant tell where that may go as the radicals get more and more power.
I didn't see anything that isn't possible and much that was very funny! If dear Barb thinks Ray is an asshole, why is she sleeping with him?? And she thinks Dave will accept her back into their bed? That IS a little different than his "life" but I doubt that one will happen. Very enjoyable story.
In my opinion, HDK may be the best writer on this site, but this story is prety disappointing.Sometimes HDK's attempt at satire or irony or humor gets a litle farfetched and this is one of those cases. I think the whole story is totally unbelievable, but I guess you can't win the all.
the Ct.Yankee
If you would have left the sex out this would have been a fabulous story. I might steal it for a movie and if we meet up in the deer woods I will toss you a blue ribbon as a thank you.
I thought this was a riot! I think you are making fun of some other story or stories but I cannot place them. Maybe your tale makes fun of many generic stories. Our hero Dave, by the way, was a bit like three different comedians all put together. I think he was guilty of malicious mischief, but it was my kind of mischief. Of course, it would have been nasty if the judge died naked in the woods. Supposed he had suffered a heart attack. A lawyer would have argued that Dave caused the chain of events that led to Judge Parker's heart attack; if Dave had just left him alone with his wife Barb, and not played tricks or scared him half to death, the judge wouldn't have run out naked, driven away and become marooned in the sabotaged car, and wouldn't have experienced a heart attack or died, so it's all Dave's fault . . . . Quite original and amusing story.
i thought i've read pretty much all scenarios. but, you've proved me wrong. you have one twisted mind and written one twisted story. I Love it!
Not a "Loving Wives" story. At best should be in some
"Fiction" category.
All that said, and yet it was a good well written story!
I laughed so hard that I had a hard time keeping up with the story. I had to go back and re-read it 2 times to make sure of what I read. He did not get even with his wife, he got back at her and her lover boy. Now he has humiliated herself to everyone she had respect for and the hanging judge will get to go the the pen and get penetrated there. What a wonderful story. I wish I had your imagination.
REVENGE IS THE NAME OF THE GAME, SO PLAY BALL.
I thought it's rather lame. It's like, "WEll, okay, you got me. I shouldn't have slept with that prick. Ha-ha". <p>
"Yeah, you shouldn't have. Now, get the fuck out, so I could sleep on my nicely used bed here. Ha-ha-ha." <p>
It's total nonsense.
you have to have more than a biting wit - ya gotta have heart!
Great story - Regards, Jack
Thanks for a funny and unique story! Revenge that is fun and the bad guys get exposed. I'm glad you have lots more beatle songs to go. Please keep up the good work.
Just what I've come to expect from HDK. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.
As always I enjoyed your story very much. You are one of the few writers that I read. Keep up the good work and I will be looking forward to your next story.
Let me start with a thank you for a new story it's been too long. now to my dilemma. i am starting to hate the obligation to rate a submission in order to post a comment. It seems to disproportionably cloud every thing else that's said. Having said that, let me say that all through the story and up to the end it was sheer fun -a classic HDK style. Not a fan of hunting myself, it's always interesting to be introduced to the jargon and to get a glimpse into a world I never see otherwise. Add to that the wily plot surprises and it’s a staple HDK style.
Ok, I have been building towards the but. With humor it's like pregnancy it's either there or not. I am specifically talking about the end. The humor in it did not make me laugh or even smile. I will not try to convince those who did find the ending funny otherwise. So it's just my reaction. I did not see any amicable feelings between the husband and the wife. Even for a JPB style of stories with open or semi open marriage you have to have some mutual ground, but here the whole premise was cheating and the level of rage which drive the husband to plan and implement this elaborate revenge against both his wife and the lover. Suddenly they are able to shift gear and she is willingly 'Sacrificing'(?) her cousin - BTW, does the cousin know about her role as a sacrificial sex partner? And the wife will wait out the revenge sex with the cousin while sleeping in the guest room -that is until the cousin "cheats" on him? And how could she cheat on him if she is nothing but a revenge venting vehicle? For it to be funny it has to be imagined as plausible. The problem is that the ending is not consistent with the rest of the story and is not plausible in and of itself. I am not trying to discourage you HDK, jus to keep it real and constructive by being specific on what worked best and what did not. Thanks again for the story.
Still a very good story. As a hunter I really enjoyed it. Oh and BY THE WAY : UNDER PENALTY OF LAW THIS TAG NOT TO BE REMOVED EXCEPT BY THE CONSUMER we the buyer of the pillow or mattress ARE the consumer, we can cut the damn tag off any time we want, lol
HDK manages to be original and different nearly every time, and this tall tale certainly qualifies! Very devious, very funny, and the running joke about the pillow was just the icing on the cake. I also liked the bit of misdirection right near the end, when Barb refers to a "slut" and the reader thinks she's talking about herself--until we learn that Doris is also in the bed! Thanks as always--ohio
It was a very creative story. I found so much tongue-in-cheek in your demented mind that it brought a smile to me. I guess I am able to enjoy a good fictional concept and not get too carried away with the pain of it all.<P>The hunt cabin reminds me of my wonderful days and years of deer hunting the day after Thanksgiving. It was a lot of brandy and stories your best friend wouldn’t believe. I did hunt on the eastern shore of Maryland and my home state of Illinois where it is shotgun only.<P>Thank you for the entertaining prose.<P>PT
When you want you can be terribly funny. Cheers Yoron
..... John, you can "tag" me anytime in the road. I promise not to inform the authorities, however federal they are! Hehehe.
Great little story as usual from the Master.
LesleyJ.
xxx
Why didn't you do it in the road?
Could it be the road was wet and cold?
Is that why you didn't do it in the road?
:-)
it might be a good read. But you are talking of folks that fuck kin as a way of life, backwoods a bit to much yall.
Being from Michigan, I'm a big fan of deer hunting humor. Combine that with cheating wives humor and you'll have a winner every time. They say laughing is good therapy. I feel like I should pay you for this morning's session. Thank you for a good laugh.
I swear I left a comment for this story before. I think the computer ate it. I wish one day I could write a comedy as good as this. I loved the bit with the pillow.
So I reread this great story. I still think your wrong about those pillow tags. Thanks!
HDK,
Does it again. What a sick mind and what a joy to read what it produces. I look forward to more.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "gasp snort giggle HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
...that's the way to do it...money for nothing and the chicks are free...
I laught some minuts. Good revenge story!!!! However I would be curious the future. 5 stars.
BTW some readers do not undarstand why so succesfull there are the revenge stories. If somebody remembers the World Litereture, where the cuckold husbands were the main source of the humour during 1000 and 1000 years (from Boccaccio "Decameron" to Thomas Mann " Die Bekenntnisse des Hochstaplers Felix Krull"). Therefor there is a revelation for me to read stories against to the cheating wives and their lovers. I prefer lack of the violance revenge stories.
I don't know why I spend so much time reading these stories when all they do is piss me off but I truly laughed my ass off reading this one. Nice job.
This virgin giant gem pops up like jumbo jewel Harrison Ford snatched in ' Raiders of Lost Ark' intro. I'm rarely so glad to be so wrong.
it was absolute fun. serving divorce papers and reminding her that he is not gonna marry the cousin would have topped it off...
I never thanked you for your efforts. since this the last story left(I finished all your other works) I take this opportunity to thank you. hdk you rule (except a few reconciliation stories off course)
about HDK is how he takes horrible situation and turns it around and adds humor to it! In truth, we our stupid human lives too seriously, in a short period of time we will all be dust again and no of this will matter. For the moment though, it would be nice if we could all be decent to each other.
Ur short stories r awesome.y dont u try writing multichapter stories like DQSteele.U certainly have the skill.Go ahead n giv us ur dreamwork,ur masterpiece.
Brilliantly executed plan, great revenge!
Hope he never splits up with Doris!
This company he works for wants him to miss opening day of deer season in Pennsylvania?!?!
Greedy heartless bastards, put the word out on them and see how long they stay in business in PA.
Wonder how long Barb has to wait?
Cut to the chase! Did he win the pool & how much was it?
A hunter of his caliber (yes caliber) could not wait to tell his success with the pool along with an embellished bagging story. No matter what the state of his home life.
Very enjoyable 5***** story
This was a good read. It made me laugh at how he got her to admit to her cheating to everyone in the town, even her children. However, I disagree with taking her back, once a cheat always a cheat. Kick her out and have fun. Thanks for a creative and enjoyable story.
I'm from the city. The only hunting I ever did was a few big rats in my time. I do know that the husband took care of business after catching his whore cunt wife in bed with the judge. He was fucked over but the slut didn't have enough revenge. And no sorrow whatsoever. Oh well, still a decent tale.
By the time your wife brings a piece of shit home to fuck in your bed your marriage is over already. The total lack of love, respect, and trust is evident in her actions. There are no excuses, no reasons, no forgiveness. Tell her to leave, and wait for the divorce to be final. There are plenty of other women out there to keep you company both in bed and out. A shitty exwife is the last person to waste your remaining days with reliving bad memories.
Although I didn't much care for it, I think cheating spouses should be tarred and feathered, literally.
But hunting camp! I've been hunting for almost 50 years now and camp is the most fun part of it. Sometimes when the deer are few and far between, we just call it 'eating camp'. The food is good and I have to be careful not to put on extra pounds!
I just returned from our local hunting camp this morning, tagged up on a nice blacktail 4x4 (western count) and leave in 2 weeks for a Montana mule deer camp! Can't fricking wait, I love taking my old 38-55 and knocking down a nice buck, while the youngsters use their super whompin' laser beamed .270 magnum blaster!
Really need to know if he won the pool lol
Great humor and excellent revenge on the judge. 5 stars
Just another day's work for HDK. One more great story in a library of great stories. You are the man.
VERY creative piece HDK. Funny, original, and you manage to do it all so powerfully and concisely in 2 pages, well 1 1/3 I guess, which is even more impressive.
So many stories too. I will be enjoying them for quite awhile. At least I hope so. I need to pace myself reading them as it appears that you have stopped writing for 6 months.
I only hope this is a temporary break. I am absolutely certain in my belief that you are by far the best author that I have read on this site (at least to date). You have set the bar so high that I cannot imagine very many will be able to reach it.
Very well done.
Another well written story. The ongoing joke about the upholstery tags got me to laugh out loud by the third rendition. Thanks.
Entertaining but nothing real and believable.
Being irrational is what makes them entertaining. It's called "suspension of disbelief." Just like Wiley Coyote won't fall after running off a cliff until he notices there's no ground under him.
It's the backbone of much humor.
The story is funny enough but the morons that comment about how it (fiction) isn't believable/factual/<fill in the descriptor here> enough... ROTFLMFAO at the idiots. Just shows you it takes all types...
Until I dropped down to Sugna, some people just don't see humor in anything. The folks before that nonsense said everything and more that I was coming up with. Sheeze, the rest of you get a life. Signed: BTW
That is funny in a twisted way. He’s not mad because his wife is cheating but, because she’s cheating with that judge.
He set his wife and the judge up big time. Then he carried out his plan (while thinking) to get even with both the judge and his wife by fucking both of them.
Who cares if it’s not rational it’s funny and he beat the judge and his wife, that’s usually why it’s called fiction.
Good story keep writing.
Fun read! I am really enjoying the stories from this author - For me the best ones are these humorous ones. The pillow and mattress tags seem to be a theme.
Maybe the funniest story on Lit. I was laughing so hard I was crying, and then I laughed some more when I read the anon. comments by people who obviously have no sense of humor. Thank you HDK for lightening up my day in these trying times. Tanglosax.
I laughed at the husband's antics like many of you, but was curious about the husband's response. At first he went to get his deer rifle and shoot them both. Then he engineered a payback for both lovers, so far so good. For an undetermined reason he then acted as though her infidelity didn't mean a thing to him, strange twist of motive for someone who just found out that his wife was doing the asshole judge.
Of note: nowhere in PA is it OK with the game commission to tag a deer that way.
1- it wasn't taken during legal hours. 2. A Van is not an authorized firearm, legal for deer. 3- No buck pool that I've ever heard of would accept a buck as a winner taken that way. 4- there is an 800 number to call in deer struck by vehicle.
I enjoyed the tale never the less.
i give up on HDK ever overcoming his superfluous commas dilemma. story, however, a lot of fun. 5 stars, in spite of one serious inconsistency...the wife was willing to abscond with the shooter ´if they left right now´ wtf?? others have pointed out more logic demerits.
And one more Beatles tune bites the dust. Yeah, as others have said, I laughed my ass off too. BTW, Fritz, short of a full blown autopsy who’s gonna know the deer wasn’t killed legally? The van driver who hit it? I doubt it, he didn’t stop at the scene and call either the police or the game wardens. Where I live that’s a crime too. Just a good fun story. But there was one real crime in it. Hunters in Pennsylvania only get two deer tags per season? Damn. Where I live we get either four or five, depending on the county you’re hunting in. Again, good job, HDK.
You still haven't told us weather of not he won the Big Buck Pool!
I suppose he's still with his wife, Better the slut you know than...
That was one very good story HDK. You hung the the hanging judge out to dry for sure. Even a yankee wouldn’t claim road kill as a trophy though.
Ok that was fun. Fortunately he wasnt a southern boy, as he'd have done to the dead deer what the judge did with his wife.