Why Get Married then Fool Around?

I have been asked numerous times why I got married if I never intended to be monogamous. The thing is that I didn't know that I would be non-monogamous. I had opportunities to be with other men and I took advantage of those opportunities.

I was very young when I got married. At that age, I had no idea what I was doing. I saw an opportunity to get married to a military man. That meant security and most likely travel. I didn't know what it meant to be married, or how to be a wife. I did what felt good and right at the time.

During the first few years of our marriage, I had sex with almost every man on base and many that lived off base. I had a lot of fun. Luckily, the man I married enjoyed sharing me with other men. It excited him knowing that I was having sex with other men. And it got him off.

I learned early on that my husband was happiest when he knew or could watch me have sex with other men. And that was fine with me. He loved me and I loved him. And together we learned how both of us could be happiest in our marriage.

Polyamory wasn't something I knew about early on, but it was something that I had felt. I knew that I could love men that weren't my husband. And that continues to this day. Yet, I also know that I can have sex with men and have no emotional connection.

Often, sex, for me, is nothing more than physical pleasure. And that is something I have luckily experienced countless times with the encouragement and support of my husband.

It wasn't until the nineties that I even heard the word cuckold, and for years I mistakenly considered my husband to be one. In time, it became obvious to me that having sex with other men was the only way for my husband to feel fully and completely loved by me.

I've had sex with countless men over the last three decades. And this has kept both my husband and me very happy.

In the beginning, the sex I had with other men was for my enjoyment. But, throughout time, it has become something that I can do to please my husband and make him feel most loved by me.

I will admit that when I have sex with other men, it isn't simply to please my husband and make him feel most loved by me. I do it because I love having sex with other men. It makes me feel special, too.

Although size isn't the most important thing for me, I have been fortunate to find men that have been exceptionally well-sized and experienced.

Although Ray, my husband, has the smallest penis of any man I have ever had sex with, I still see him as my soulmate. He's also my very best friend. And he gives me a reason to love him in his love language.

I may have sex with literally any man, but I could never love another man the way that I love Ray. Other men may get to have sex with me and share me with others, but it's strictly sexual. There's no love involved. I may also make them feel loved by me, but not in the way that Ray feels loved by me when I am with other men.

The fact that Ray and I are married to each other makes having sex with other men more meaningful. Making Ray feel most love by me the way that I do could never be done if Ray and I weren't married. It wouldn't make sense for me to have sex with multiple men if it didn't mean something to me?

When another man enters me, he is giving the ability to love my husband in a way that makes him feel most loved. This occurs as well when I go down on another man. I can also make Ray feel loved by me by simply kissing another man.

I feel fortunate to have met so many men throughout the last three-plus decades that have been willing participants helping me make Ray feel most loved by me. The men that have lived with us gave me the ability to make Ray feel most loved constantly, daily. And I will never forget them, nor can I ever thank them enough for allowing me to love my husband through them.

I have sex with other men daily, and that's the only way I know to make Ray feel most loved by me. My deepest desire is for Ray to feel loved by me, and what motivates me, is my love for Ray.

I have never loved deeper and never been as motivated as I am to have and know that Ray feels loved by me.

Why get married? I got married for the wrong reason but to the right man. I'm not sure I could have ever found another man that made me want to love him as much as I do Ray. I know this because I have had sex with more men than I can count. And none of them made me want to love them the way that I can love Ray.

I have stayed married to Ray for over thirty years. Yes. I do have sex with other men. I do so because of how happy Ray and I are, and have been, because of them. It's because I have sex with other men that I can make Ray feel most loved by me, and I love him for allowing me to love him the way that I do.