All Comments on 'Why Her?'

soooo sad. Has to tell his buddy that was harsh. He may get the girl but to do it with him next to him? Not a friend and she is not either. Ghost them both.

I screamed, "Bitch!" Just as she grabbed the shirt and dropped my head back on the sleeping bag. "What the fuck are you doing in my tent, Bitch? Why did you pretend to like me then fuck with my tent mate here? You aren't worth the skin you live in, whore!" Then I stood up, grabbed her arm and her shirt and threw them both out onto the dewy tall grass so that any others who were awake would know what she does at 4 AM. "No, you aren't welcome back. Go away!" I yelled then I zipped my tent up. To my tent mate, I spoke quietly,"If you want that again, do it somewhere else. I don't want her around me and I'm not too thrilled with you bringing in other men's girls either. So just shut up and sleep. I don't want to hear your excuses."

The story said that she wasn't his girlfriend, and if he wanted her to be, he hadn't made any moves to change things. Maybe she knew that he had feelings for her, but wasn't impressed, because he never manned up enough to tell her. Maybe she just wasn't attracted to him. Or maybe she didn't know; the writer never told us how he envisioned her.

Faint heart, it has been said, never won fair lady, and this guy had a faint heart.

. . . "I'm not too thrilled with you bringing in other men's girls either."

But Beth wasn't some other man's girl, or at least not his girl.

Maybe if the main character had actually tried, Beth would have been his girl, or maybe she wouldn't; that story wasn't written.

Wayne Gretzky said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," and the main character never attempted a shot.

Narrator's arousal is at 90%, anguish at 10%. A more even split 50/50 between arousal and anguish would have charged the story with much more emotional and dramatic (and even erotic) energy.

An even bigger problem, though, is while you set up an intriguing dramatic situation, that's all you have. All set-up, no drama. The drama begins when the narrator opens his eyes. Where's the rest of the story?