Why I am Here

I came to Literotica after having written on Lusty Library over a decade ago, I am sure some others here did their time there. I also did a long stint writing/sharing/engaging on the Experience Project with similar material.

I've been signed up here for over 5 years and reading the stories for even longer. One of my favorite categories is the audio stories. I *love* the sound of a woman talking dirty (or sensual or even romantic) in my ear... often as I drift off to sleep at night.

I don't do this as much as I used to when I was single and that is what has brought me to this forum to publish. My partner (of several years now) is hugely less experienced than I, and though she is very articulate in the spoken and written word is also painfully shy in both places. Our courtship was an epistolary romance and while it was far from one-sided, I was left doing the "heavy lifting" on the sexual (for sure) and romantic (somewhat) sides.

Even at our "advanced ages" we still "make love" often, and in fact I want to say that we fuck one another silly most of the time. She has broken down and uttered a few blunt words during sex now and then, and seems not to resist my own when I "share" some of my baser thoughts with her during sex.

She does *not* however, provide good encouragement for these things at other times, but I chalk a lot of that up to her shyness and a very self-conscious upbringing and adult life. I also am somewhat shy in my own way, and that exhibits primarily by my not pushing others very far beyond their limits. There are some fetishes to be explored around THAT I am sure!

What leads me to publish this Essay is my decision to share with this community (because I am an exhibitionist deep down) some of my more extravagant thoughts as well as knowing that actually talking (writing) this kind of stuff out helps me to explore what my *real* interests actually are!

The specific thing that has brought me here to write/read/explore is a surprise fetish that snuck up on me. It isn't exactly incest, but it does have an age and power-dynamic component. As the (single) father of two daughters (now in their midlife) I was always VERY careful about no letting my mind wander in those directions much if at all. As my profile states, I tend to draw the line in my interests in age at "older than my daughters". But recently I have been tripped up by my partner's daughter who is a whole year and a half younger than my youngest daughter. AND she is my partner's daughter! WTF? WTF am I thinking, letting *that* get into my head?

Well the simple answer is that she is damned fucking sexy as hell. She is a really good person, a good mother to her own children, a good wife to her husband, and a good daughter to her mother who I love (and lust). She is not the spitting image of yer mom when they were younger, but they share a lot of body type, appearance and grooming.

And her mom is very fit and well groomed, despite being most of a year my senior. And her mom has a minor age-fetish of her own, meaning she always seeks to look younger (within reason) than she is, and revels in how sexy she in fact was when she was her daughter's age. She is proud of her own daughter's looks and general sexy affect and sometimes laments her daughter's somewhat limiting relationship with her husband. She herself had a very limiting marriage which she left in her early 40s after her kids were grown, and I think projects her own needs at that time on her daughter's.

They have a very entwined relationship in many ways, most of which impresses me with both of them. Most of the women I have known well have had bad relationships with their mothers. My former partners were like this and for the most part my own sister with our mom. So it is refreshing to see this pair "pulling for one another" as much as they do. I don't know how much they share about their sexuality, but I've had some hints that her mom definitely let on to her how elaborately satisfied she was with our courtship year or so.

She had only had two partners before me, her high school sweetheart (2 years older) who she eventually married, and another older man she hooked up with after she left him. I know from how she responded to me that I introduced her to a lot broader sexual horizon than she had experienced before. When her mom told her some of what we were up to when we got together her daughter (who can be very wonderfully blunt) told her "well everyone deserves a Slut-Year and maybe this is yours!"

I can't say that my ideation/fantasies are fully justified but they are not discouraged by both daughter and mother's engagement with me and with one another, so I will say that this is an indulgence in fantasy and it includes ideating about two women who might or might not be deeply offended by my fantasies. This is the first period of my life when I've allowed myself this indulgence.

Most of my life I noticed when/if I might be letting my inner-eye stray places I'd not been invited and I curbed myself. I limited my sexual fantasies/ideations to those I was already engaged in some level of sexual relationship (real or virtual, established or growing) and within the range of what I believed they were interested in (or capable of becoming so). For the most part, that has had me being very conservative.

My anonymous sexual fantasies have been limited mostly to those who have made it their life, lifestyle or career. To wit, I have limited my anonymous sexual fantasies (and particularly gratifications) to be around actresses, and more specifically the characters they play when the characters are explicitly open to such fantasizing. And to put a finer on it that is mostly pornographic actresses, though some mainstream characters have been within my self-allowance for such!

Now I find myself in new territory, very tentatively imagining that my partner's daughter might actually find me to be a source of romantic, intimate, even sexual connection. I also find myself feeling the need for (at least in my fantasy world) having my partner herself endorse that connection at some level. It feels like a lot to ask IRL but not that big of a stretch in the realm of sexual fantasies such as Literotica is designed to support.

I have been reading a lot of Daddy/Daughter stories in the Incest/Taboo section and find most of them outside my range. Firstly (as stated) I can't break the barrier to biological daughter, and I can't bring myself to ideate much about youth, mostly because of the innocence and the power dynamic there. Daughter-in-Law and Step-Daughter seems to be my limit for now, though I have read many of the others, I just find myself taking a step back or to the side. Maybe this makes me a prude, I don't want to judge those who do go there, it is just out of MY range?

Reading this back to myself I feel like I come off as some kind of (self) control freak after the amazing breadth of fantasy and abandon I read here! Maybe this is oversharing but somehow writing this (even if I censor or delete it later) seems to give me more permission to go where I *can* here.

I may also write some of the fantasies and ideations that have come up in my long and varied sexual life, having had 3 previous long-term partners and a big handful of short term partners between the LTRs and a small handful of one night stands or what I guess we call fuck-buddies today!

I think I wrote this out so very elaborately as a way to feel that if my partner and/or her daughter were to be on this site and read this, they would maybe understand, accept, forgive, even embrace what my intentions are here.

blah blah blah blah... so *write* already!