Why Me?

"What the fuck are you talking about? Diane is my cousin, my mom made me bring her."

"That shouldn't matter to her buddy, go ahead and get your dick wet, we all have."

I was so pissed I almost didn't bring the drinks back.

"Drink up Diane, we are leaving. If I stay I'll probably get in trouble."

"Those guys told you about me huh? Let's step outside for a minute and I'll tell you all about it Ricky."

I followed my cousin out onto the balcony and we stopped in a far corner.

"There is no sense in hiding it Ricky, I'm the school slut. I've probably fucked over half of the male student body and several of the teachers. If you don't want to be seen with me now, I can understand. That's why I didn't have a date, no one wants to be seen with the cum dumpster."

"It's not that Diane, I just want to slap those silly smiles off of their faces. I've always liked you a lot and I can see no reason to change that at this late date. Why do you do it though? I can't imagine that the sex could be that good with the normal high school boy."

"You're right about that, if I get one orgasm to 5 guys it has been a good week. The teachers are a lot better, but they are also a lot more warped. I do it because I love sex and I don't want to get tied down to someone from this hick burg. I have plans and marriage has no place in them. Do you want to sample the goods before we go home? I think that is why mom was so adamant that you take me. Your mom has been telling her about your troubles with women and I think she wants me to give you some help."

"Aunt Jean knows about you?"

"Yeah, she does. She doesn't like it, but she does know."

"You might tell me some things to make a girl feel good when I finally find one, but I'll pass on the sample. You have always been special to me and I don't want you to remember me as just another lay."

"You don't hate me because of all the other guys?"

"No, I don't. I may have trouble looking at you for a while till I get used to it, but I don't hate you. Do you want to go back in for a few more dances just to show them up, or go ahead and go home?"

"Let's go home Ricky, I didn't want to be here anyway."

When we got to her house Aunt Jean wouldn't let me leave. She insisted on a play-by-play of the night and wanted to know why we were back so soon.

"Some of the guys clued Ricky who he was dancing with so we had to leave mom. I don't know what the hell you and your sister had in mind for this damn night, but all you did is make my best friend ashamed of me. Thank you very fucking much mom."

With that Diane ran up to her room and Jean looked at me with a shocked expression.

"I am not ashamed of her Aunt Jean, but I don't know why you wanted to put her through this. You knew why she didn't want to go and made her do it anyway. I am very upset with you and mom right now so I had better leave before I say something I will regret."

I don't even remember the drive home. I parked dad's car in the garage and slipped through the back door, dropped dad's keys on the kitchen table, and went to my room without seeing my parents.

I slept in the next day as I did not need to be at work till late. When I went out to the kitchen for food mom was sitting at the table. I didn't say a word to her, I got a cup of coffee and a donut and sat at the table across from her.

"Jean called me and we talked most of the night Ricky. I'm sorry that the dance didn't go well for you, but I'm sure that you can see why we wanted you to go."

"No mom, I can't. I didn't know about Diane, but you and Jean did, and you made her humiliate herself anyway. She thinks you wanted her to screw me. I hope that you had more sense than that. I would never treat her the way those other men do. I love my cousin and would not do that to her. Now this damn prom bullshit is over with and I am going to return the tux Monday."

"No Ricky, you can't do that. You still have to go to your prom. Diane is willing to if you are."

"No way. I didn't want to go to start with and this just makes it more so. I can't even look at Diane now, in my mind I keep seeing her with those guys at the prom and I will need some time to get over it."

"If you don't she will think that you are ashamed of her and don't want to be seen with her. We made a mistake, but you have to fix it. Jean has been crying all night after what you said to her."

My mom has always been able to get me to do what she wants. I can argue, but she always wins. That is probably one reason I have so much trouble with girls, I defer to them as I have been trained to do and they see that as weak.

The upshot was that after a truly horrendous week at school, Diane and I were again en-route to a formal dinner and dance. At least this time I was driving my own car and as we pulled up in front of the school, I chickened out. I could not go through with it.

"I'm sorry Diane, but I can't do this. These people have been ignoring me and putting me down for years. I don't want to see them all putting on airs and trying to be cool like the kids did at your school. Would you be upset if we just went somewhere to kill time till we can go home?"

"Not at all Ricky, I was never a fan of this thing anyway. What do you have in mind?"

We discussed our options as I drove away and ended up at Pizza Hut for dinner and then I had the bright idea of going skating.

Diane had a blast. She was better than I was on skates of course, but the real thrill was our being there in our fancy gown and tux rolling around the rink. Some of the looks we got were priceless.

We took a break after a few songs and as we were resting I heard an unexpected voice behind me.

"What in the hell are you doing here Ricky?"

"What does it look like Lena? Isn't this where the prom is this year?"

"Funny Ricky. Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Lena, this is my cousin Diane Turner from Valparaiso. Diane, this is Lena Stills, an acquaintance from school. What are you doing here Lena? I was sure that you would be at the dance."

"Nobody I want to go with asked me Ricky. You are obviously dressed for the dance, so I ask again, why aren't you there?"

"I just didn't want to go Lena. I have no wish to see what would be going on there. This is much more fun."

"You have got to get over her Ricky. The way Susan dumped you for the first jock that came along she doesn't deserve your devotion. I admit that this is probably more fun, but you should have been there."

Lena ended up spending the rest of the evening with us. I even danced with her a few times at Diane's insistence. We had a good time and the conversations were fun. Diane told us of her plan to get a degree in sociology and possibly teach. Lena was going to Purdue for engineering of all things. When they asked me about the future I told them that I was going to enlist for four years so that I would have enough money to go to school for computer science. I would try for the Air Force, but the Navy would be good enough if that was all that was available. Dad had told me that college classes were available cheap on most duty stations and I could get a step ahead that way. The new GI bill had you saving money in a special account and after you were released from service the government would match your funds for schooling. This was the only way I would be able to afford college.

About midnight I decided that we could go home and we wrapped it up. Lena accompanied us to the parking lot and wished us well. Diane and I talked a bit more on the way home.

"Why haven't you asked her out Ricky?"

"Lena is way out of my league Diane. She is one of the prettiest girls at school. There is no way she would date me."

"You are wrong there cuz, that girl has the hots for you, I can tell. She practically told you that if you had asked her to the prom she would have said yes."

"Now you are making shit up Diane. You can have my bed tonight and get the rest you most obviously need."

We got home and our moms went ballistic. They had gone to the prom to get pictures of us dancing, and found out that we weren't there. We told them what we had done.

"Ricky Nelson McReady. How could you do this? This was supposed to be your night; you would remember this for the rest of your life."

"Only in my nightmares mom, I don't know how you could think that I would like seeing Susan being manhandled around the floor by her asshole boyfriend. Diane and I had a lot more fun this way. If that is too hard for you to understand, then that is too bad. Deal with it mom. I'm moving out soon and you won't have to be disappointed with me anymore."

I ran to my room, changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, threw the tux into the hall, grabbed a blanket, and went down to sleep on the couch.

Mom kept trying to talk to me but I pulled a pillow over my head and shut her out. I was keyed up like an over tightened spring and I was afraid of what I would do if it broke. I cannot remember ever being this angry, especially with my mother. Finally everyone went to bed and left me with my thoughts. Sleep overcame me at some point, but before it did I realized that I would be seeing the recruiters at the first opportunity.

CHAPTER TWO

The next day I was watching the news when I thought I saw the back end of Wesley's car. I turned the program up and found out that at the after prom party John had gotten drunk and on the way home had wrapped his Camaro around a tree, Susan and the two kids in the back seat were dead. Wesley was badly injured; he lost most of a leg. It didn't matter though because he would never get out of jail with three counts of vehicular homicide. I was ashamed that I felt so little about Susan being killed, but I had already lost her.

Grief counselors descended on the school Monday, but I had no reason to talk to them. Graduation was a waste of time except for Lena's speech as valedictorian. She said that she hoped we were better prepared for the future than what the school had done for us. I don't think the principal understood what she was saying until she described the incompetence and greed of the administration as criminal. I hope somebody got a picture of his face.

I enlisted three days later. The Air Force was willing to take me as a communications specialist and I would report for training on August 4th. I didn't even tell my mom what I had done; I just went home and started packing. When dad got home he saw me and asked what I was doing.

"I'm packing dad. I'll put most of this stuff in storage and you can use my room for an office or guest room. I have to report August 4th."

"What did your mother say?"

"I haven't told her. There is no sense talking when she doesn't listen."

Dad was upset with me, but I didn't care. I was still pissed at my mom and her sister.

The Air Force was a revelation. I couldn't believe how fit I was after basic training and the school for radio repair I was sent to was exciting. Of course just before I was due to report for training, Iraq invaded Kuwait and the Gulf War was on. The training commands were not affected very much other than as our instructors rotated out fairly often. As Nelson McReady I fit in very well. Our classes were coed, but there was no fraternization allowed. Of course some of the students did get together, but when they were caught all it did was enhance my class standing. I enjoyed the work and had a real knack for diagnosing problems. The instructors tried to trick me for the final, but I won out on them and was able to graduate top in the class.

My first duty station was to be in Germany, and I was given 30 days leave before I was due to report for transportation. The wonderful Gulf War had ended during my last month of training and the instructors no longer felt such pressure to teach us how to survive in the desert.

Having nowhere else to go I decided to go home. I called and told dad when I would be in and he agreed to pick me up at Indy. I was a seasoned air traveler by now and the inconvenience of waiting on a connecting flight was minimalized by my new habit of always having a book with me.

When I saw my parents at the gate waiting for me I was struck by how old they looked. This was the first time that I had ever been away from them for more than a week and the difference in them was pretty striking. Mom looked like she was on drugs or something bouncing up and down on her heels and clapping her hands when she spotted me.

I stepped up to dad and clasped his hand. He pulled me in and gave me a big hug, the first I could remember. I didn't even have time to respond before mom was in my arms hugging me and crying. I couldn't say anything, I just hugged her back. I hadn't realized how much I missed my mother, not just having her near, but I missed talking to her, I missed her cooking, and I even missed her nagging. I don't remember looking down at the top of her head before though. When did she suddenly shrink?

"Oh my big strong man; I have missed you so much Ricky. I'm so sorry that I messed things up and drove you away; I promise that I won't do it again. Please forgive me Ricky, I'm sorry."

"It's okay mom. I'm just glad to be home for a while; I missed you too. Now let's get my bags and head home before you ruin my uniform."

The ride was the normal for around Indy, traffic patterns and orange barrels.

My room had indeed been made up as a guest room. Mom did it in such a way as to be able to make it my room again with little preparation. Dad told me later that she was distraught about having driven her baby away and was constantly hoping that I would return.

That night over dinner dad asked about my plans. "You took us by a bit of a surprise with your enlistment Ricky, what do you have in mind for next?"

"I'm sorry about that dad. I was going to do it anyway, but events precipitated my actions. I'm actually glad that I did because if I had waited I might not have gotten into the field I did. I really do like the work I am doing and I will probably do something similar after I get out. My plan is to save as much as I can for school and come back to college, hopefully here at Purdue. If I can, would I be able to live here to save money?"

"Of course you can Ricky, this is your home after all. All I ask is that you not shut me out again."

I promised to write every day, and when I could I would get a computer and exchange emails with them.

Germany was such a different experience there is no way to really describe it. I soon got used to the beer and wasn't really sure how I was going to put up with the domestic stuff back home. I enjoyed my job and I was good at it. There were women around the unit and the base but the fast talkers and good looking guys got them, I wasn't really in the running. There was one waitress, Margo, at a local bar in Wurzburg that talked to me, supposedly to improve her English, but there was no romance there. One of the buys told me that she was trying to get me to pay her for sex, but I really didn't think so.

I got to be the guy they sent the problems to, I could fix things which would otherwise have been replaced, it didn't take long for my first promotion. I was informed by my commander that with the way the rank structure was in the Air Force, that I was probably as high as I would get in one enlistment.

One night I was drinking beer in the dayroom with a few guys when one of them suggested a house run. I asked what a house run was and they all informed me of the houses of 2 and 3 colors, two local bordellos. A house run was a quick fuck at each house. I decided that I had been a virgin long enough so I agreed. Imagine my surprise to find the girl from the bar at the first stop. I was walking up the stairway that had rooms at each landing with the unoccupied hookers standing outside their door looking for business. On the third floor there she was.

"Hello Margo. Will you accept me?"

"Ya Nelson, come in."

In her little room with just a bed and a night stand with a basin of water she explained that I had 10 minutes for 50 bucks. If I wanted longer I should say so to start. I was so nervous it wasn't funny, so I gave her a hundred dollars and told her it was my first time; so please try to help me.

Margo was very gentle and after she took her clothes off she helped me undress. She brought out a condom and put it on me and didn't say anything when I shot off as soon as she had it on. Margo was very attractive and slim with small breasts and wide hips. Her brown hair was cut short and the hair on her mons was trimmed to a triangle. She allowed me to explore a bit while waiting for my time to expire and when I got hard again she put another condom on me. I had to pay another 50 but then she lay back and steered me in. I slid in easily and then she kind of clamped down and tightened up on me. Even after already coming once I didn't last long enough to need more money. Margo rolled the condom off of me and gave me a pat on the cheek.

"Thank you Nelson, I hope to see you again at the Scala."

It was strange the next time I saw her at the bar, I stayed away for a couple weeks, but she acted as if nothing unusual had happened. I said the hell with it and went along with her. I never went back to the house though, that was all of that I needed.

After 2 years working in the field I was sent back to the school to spend my last 6 months teaching, unless I decided to reenlist. I was seriously considering it when my dad got sick and had a heart attack. He would be okay, but would be a while recovering. I went home on leave and helped mom out, and while I was there I applied to Purdue. When I got back to my station I set things up to get out and use my education benefits. In Germany I had taken courses on base and had enough credits to be considered a third year student.

Once I got home for good I spent quite a while with the military transition counselor at Purdue getting all my credits transferred. I found out that I also was given some credits for real world experience and the courses the Air Force had given me. I could graduate with a computer science degree within a year and a half without taking on too much of a course load.

The next thing to do was to get a job. Dad had been in touch with some people who used electrical repair workers. I interviewed with a few of them, and then got to a small shop that needed somebody to do evening work without supervision. It was very similar to what I had done in Germany and the pay wasn't too shabby either.

With all of this set, I showed up for my first day of classes. I got settled in my first class when an attractive brunette sat next to me. I tried not to stare at her, but damn she had some nice legs. There was no time for anything else as the professor came in and immediately started to lecture. After listening to him drone on for 45 minutes I really wished that I had taken another math course in Germany.

At the end of the class I started out only to be stopped by a hand on my arm.

"Ricky, is that you? Damn, Julie said that you had changed, but she understated it quite a bit."

I looked at the attractive girl who had sat next to me and suddenly realized who it was.

"Lena? What are you doing here and who is Julie?"

"I am going to class here, and Julie is your mother idiot. Meet me at the union after third period and we'll talk, I have to get to my next class and so do you."

With that she turned and walked away. What in the hell was going on here? Lena was still in school, and she talked to my mother. I was tempted to skip the talk she wanted, but then I found out that she was in my computer lab 3rd period. She just took my arm and steered me to a table in the union without saying a word.

"Are you intending to eat lunch here or go off campus Ricky?"