Why Me?

"I wasn't going to bother Lena, I intended to study for a while and then eat later; I only have one more class today. Now what in the hell is going on? I expected you to have already graduated and how do you know my mother?"

"One thing at a time Ricky..."

"Hold it, please call me Nelson. That is what I have gone by for the last four years and I have always hated that other name. Now continue."

"Okay "Nelson", my schooling was delayed a couple of years so I am no further along than you are. You were very smart to take all those classes while you were in service. Julie is so proud of you she could just spit. Your folks are some seriously nice people Nelson and you need to forgive your mother for her actions, you know that she regrets it."

"Wrong Lena, I can overlook the actions of my mother and aunt, but I'm not sure that I will ever forgive them. They both knew why Diane did not want to go to the prom and they insisted anyway. I can think of no reason to them to do that. Now you have made me lose what should have been a good mood. I have to go to class now. Are you in any more of mine?"

"Sorry R...Nelson. I have two more with you tomorrow, 4 in all. Julie shared your schedule with me."

"Why Lena, why do you care what classes I am in or what my schedule is?"

"I thought that we were friends Nelson. I met your cousin while we were in Nevada and she and I have a lot in common. I called her yesterday and Diane will be here this weekend. She wants to talk to you."

"Oh great, the hits just keep on coming. Thanks Lena, now my mood is ruined for the rest of the week. I've got to get to class; goodbye."

When I got home after work mom was waiting for me at the kitchen table.

"Lena says that you were very rude to her today."

"Lena was getting very personal mom. When did you get so friendly with her?"

"When she came over after her family dissolved Ricky. Her mother left her father and took most of his money with her; he had to sell his business to pay the bills. She came here looking for you and we became friends. Lena is a very sweet girl Ricky and much too good for you."

"Of course she is, which is why I don't understand her interest. What does she want from me? Did she tell you that she knows Diane and called her? Lena said that Diane would be here this weekend to see me. I can't do that mom, I can't see her again."

"Ricky! Diane is your cousin and your friend. Why couldn't you see her?"

"It's your fault mom, yours and Aunt Jean's. I could always talk to Diane because I never saw her as a girl, just as my friend. You two made it so that I had to see her as a girl, a girl with a lot of experience. I can't talk to her now, I just can't."

"Are you ashamed of her Ricky?"

"No, not that, I just don't know how to talk to her now. It's not the same anymore."

"But you have to Ricky; if you treat her differently she will think that you hate her for being the way she was. You used to run together and hug and tell each other how much you missed the other. When you did that the smile on her face was huge. If you don't do it now she will be crushed."

"I don't know what to do, I don't understand you women. I'll try mom, but Diane is not the little girl I knew anymore. I don't know how to deal with her now."

"Damn it Ricky, you have to grab her and hold her and tell her you missed her and that you love her Ricky. If you do anything else she will be crushed. You are going to take Lena down to Indy Friday night and pick up Diane. You have 4 days to get your head together. And I want you to be kinder to Lena too. She likes you for some reason and when she was in trouble she came to you for help. I'll be damned if I know why she wanted help from such a self-centered jerk, but she did. She said that you were the only boy in all her years at school who treated her as just another person. Why didn't you ever ask her out?"

"Mom! I didn't ask her because there is no way that she would ever go out with me. Lena is the most beautiful girl in town and I am a shallow dweeb with no friends. She never even knew I existed."

"You are wrong on so many counts there. All I ask is that you try not to make your cousin feel any worse than she already does and be civil with Lena. She is trying to help and she and Diane got very close. Please be nice to her."

"I'll try, mom, I'll try."

The next day Lena was very quiet and I had to stop her to apologize. She accepted and went on her way. Somehow it didn't feel right, but there was nothing I could do.

She ignored me again on Wednesday and I didn't know what to do. I expect Lena to ignore me, but now that she had I was not sure what to expect.

I got home after work that night and mom was waiting for me again.

"What did you do this time Ricky? Lena was crying tonight when we talked."

"I didn't do anything mom. I didn't say anything to her."

"Why not; are you mad at her for some reason?"

"I'm not mad at her, I just don't know what to say to her. I apologized yesterday and she hasn't said anything to me since. What else can I do?"

Mom just sat back and looked at me with a sad expression. "You just don't have a clue, do you son? Didn't you and Tom ever talk about what to do with girls?"

"Tom didn't need to talk about it mom, girls went after him. He was handsome and confidant, he never had to chase a girl. Besides, I have no intention of chasing after Lena, hell, if I caught her I wouldn't know what to do. You're right mom, I am totally clueless."

"Do you like her Ricky?"

"I don't know mom, I mean, sure I liked her, but from afar, I don't actually know her. I had a crush on her for years, ever since we moved to Jefferson St. But I don't know her very well at all."

"That is going to have to change Ricky. Tomorrow and Friday you are going to take Lena to lunch. It doesn't need to be anything special; fast food will be good enough. Over the food you will tell her all about your hopes and dreams, what you want to do with your future; and you ask her about hers. You have always been able to talk to Lena, you still can. The first thing you are to do though is to give her a hug when you see her tomorrow."

"Mom! I can't do that, she'd knock me for a loop and call the cops on me."

"No she won't dear, she says that the best she has ever felt is when you held her to dance. Do you remember the song that was playing the last time you danced with her?"

"Yeah, I do. We were at the skating rink with Diane and they played "Blue Velvet", I started with Lena and then finished the song with Diane. That was so neat mom; we had such a good time there. I'd kind of forgotten that in the aftermath. You don't think she would freak out if I hugged her?"

"Only with joy Ricky; you do what I say and see what happens."

The next day I was so nervous I almost forgot to bring my books to class. When I walked into the room she was standing beside her desk talking to the girl who sat on the other side of her. Before I lost my nerve I walked up to her and put my arms around her and hugged. As she melted against me I hummed the first part of "Blue Velvet".

"I'm sorry I was such a jerk Lena. You surprised me and I didn't know how to act. I never thought that I meant anything to you and these last two days I've missed talking to you. Can you forgive me?"

Lena had her face in the hollow of my neck and all I heard as she hugged back was "Finally".

The smell of her hair was intoxicating, but I had to let her go as the prof came into the room and we got into our seats.

The whole class I heard almost nothing as all I could think about was how good Lena felt in my arms, the smell of her and how her breath felt on my neck.

After class Lena took my hand and led me out. "Now that wasn't so hard was it Nelson? Don't wait too long to do it again. I know I came on a little heavy Monday, but I had waited so long to see you again. Every time you were home on leave I was somewhere else and couldn't see you. You just don't know how much I missed you."

"But Lena, we were never that close in school; in fact we didn't talk much at all until the last couple of months after Susan. Why would you be so anxious to see me again?"

"Let's just say that I have my reasons and go on to class."

I wouldn't see her again before lunch so If I was going to ask it had to be now. "Would you go to lunch with me Lena? Mom says that we need to talk a bit and that would be a good time."

"Sure Nelson, I would be glad to."

"Well meet me in the parking lot over there by the science building, you know my old Monarch don't you?"

"When are you going to get rid of that thing Nelson? You have had it for years."

"No reason to get rid of something that works Lena, dad and I have taken good care of it and it will last for a while yet."

"Such a sensible man; how can I argue with that? Yes I will go to lunch with you Nelson. See you later."

I had done it, I had asked Lena to go somewhere with me. I wonder if this could be considered our first date?

When I got to my car Lena was waiting for me. I opened the door for her and as I started the car to move off she slid over beside me on the bench seat.

"I'm glad that you have this old car now Nelson, no bucket seats. This means that Diane can sit up front with us tomorrow."

It felt so good to have her right next to me, I wanted to put my arm around her, but I was afraid that I would scare her away. She took care of this problem by taking my arm and putting it around her shoulders herself and snuggling into my side even more. I'd drive around the world if I could just stay like this.

"How are we going to do that anyway Lena? I assume that you have the flight number and time."

"Yes I do. You get out before I do tomorrow so you can get the car full of gas and cleaned and go home. I'll meet you there after I get done with my last class."

"Okay."

I took her to the XXX drive in so that we wouldn't have to get out of the car and I wouldn't have to let her go. They were pretty busy and we talked the whole time while we waited for the car-hop to get to us.

"What do you have in mind after you finish at Purdue Nelson? And please realize that Diane and I talk almost every night so anything you say will get to her. I haven't got any secrets from her."

"I'm glad that you two have gotten so close, Diane was always my best friend and we shared a lot of confidences too. I learned how to work on all kinds of radios in the service and I figure that with the exploding computer market I can always find work repairing them. The classes here should also make it so that I can design them as well. I have already seen several ways in which they could be made better. I would like to get on with a company designing and installing business set ups. If I could get some capital I would even like to start my own company doing that. Right now businesses are just buying computers off the shelf and quite often they won't work together, or even talk to each other. There is a much better way and I can do that."

"Sounds good. How about personal things, have you considered marriage and children."

"That would take help, and no one has ever volunteered for the job. I've never had a reason to think about that."

"Well start thinking that way, there is more to life than work and you have missed a lot of it. Your mom and I and Diane think that you need to broaden your horizons."

Now I wonder what in the hell that meant? I missed Margo; I could have talked to her about this and maybe gotten some advice on how to handle these women I suddenly have around me.

Lena moved over a bit when the food got to us, but as soon as I started the car to leave she was right back under my arm. She didn't move until I parked the car for our next class, then she held my hand all the way to our desks. What in the hell was going on here? Not that I was going to complain.

I had to go to work after the next class and Lena gave me a little kiss on the cheek saying that she would see me tomorrow morning at first class.

I was walking on clouds after that, and I really don't remember what I did at work that night. In bed that night I beat off thinking of how Lena felt beside me in the car and that kiss. Diane was the only other girl who had ever kissed me, even Margo never did that. I couldn't wait for another one, maybe on the lips.

CHAPTER THREE

Friday started out with another hug and a kiss on the cheek. We didn't have much time to talk between classes, but at lunch I went to the drive-thru at Arby's and we ate in the parking lot.

"I think that I've noticed a trend Nelson. Are you ashamed to be seen with me or something?"

"I just don't want to let you move away from me Lena, I can't believe how good you feel sitting next to me. I would be proud as all get out to be seen with you, but I would think that you might not like that too much. Why would you want to be seen in public with me? All your friends would probably run away screaming."

"You may not have noticed, but I don't have any friends here, and there is no one I would rather be seen with than you. Thank you for the compliment though. Are you all ready for tonight?"

"Sure, I'll be waiting for you at home with the car all spiffed up and ready. Where is Diane staying while she is here?"

"She'll be with me. I have a small apartment on Columbia St. Dad moved to Frankfort after he lost the dealership, so I had to have a place to live. Your mom offered to put me up and I did stay in your old room for my first year of classes, but I moved out when you were coming home."

That afternoon mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table when Lena arrived. She and mom hugged and they kissed like long lost friends. She then came over to me and gave me a hug as well.

As we got up to leave Lena spoke to mom. "Wish me luck Julie, everything hinges on tonight. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow."

"I hope so honey, remember, hold his feet to the fire and don't let up when he tries to escape. My best wishes are with you."

Now what? She had to be talking about me, but in what concept, and how did Diane figure into this? As we drove I tried to get Lena to open up about her conversation with my mother, but she wouldn't budge except to say that she couldn't say anything until Diane was with us and it would be best to wait until I got them home."

Lena stayed snuggled under my arm all the way to the airport. While we stood waiting at the gate she held my hand. When Diane got off I almost didn't recognize her. Her hair was cut shorter than she had ever worn it and she was nicely tanned. I had always thought of Diane as being slightly overweight or chubby, but now she was lean and a real knockout. Damn she looked good. I could finally see mom and Aunt Jean in her.

Lena was waving with the arm not in mine and Diane saw us. Now came the moment of truth, could I treat her the same as I had before?

"I'm glad to see you girl." Lena stepped away from me and grabbed Diane in a hug. Over her shoulder I could see Diane get a very satisfied expression with her eyes closed. I wonder if this is what mom was talking about when she hugged me? Her eyes opened and looked at me and her eyes got very wide. I could hear her whisper to Lena, "Is that??"

Lena stepped away and turned Diane to face me, "your turn Nelson, give your cousin a hug."

Diane looked up at me apprehensively as I stepped forward. I hesitated for a moment then said the hell with it and grabbed my best friend in a big hug. I picked her up and tried to squeeze her into me.

"Damn I missed you cuz, you look and feel fantastic. I hope you know how much I care about you and I always will, no matter what."

"I hope you mean that Ricky, but you might want to put me down now so we can leave."

"The heck with that, I'm not letting you get away from me again. Would you please get her bag Lena? Do you have anything checked Diane?"

"No, just the carry-on, but what do you mean to do?"

"This," so saying I swung her around a bit and got my left arm under her knees and walked on out of the terminal with Lena following behind.

"I never realized what a nice cuddly handful you were Diane."

"I'm jealous," Lena said, "he hasn't done that to me yet."

By the time we got out to the bus I had to set Diane down. I gave her a kiss on the cheek as I did.

"Boy you sure got big Ricky. Lena and your mom sent me pictures, but it didn't really show until now. I like the new look Ricky."

"I like yours as well Diane, you are a real knockout now. Please call me Nelson though, I really do hate the name Ricky. It always makes me feel like a little kid when someone calls me that. Lena has managed to adjust, I'm sure you can too."

By this time we were at the car and as I held the door open Lena pushed Diane in first. "You ride next to him for now Di, we'll change over after dinner in Lebanon."

I got in the car and Lena put my arm around Diane the same way it had been around her on the way here. I was so confused, I thought that Lena liked me, and now she was throwing me at my own cousin.

Dinner was at White Castle because Diane had missed them. I learned that Diane was in her fourth year of industrial design and had an internship lined up in Lafayette for this summer.

Lena was back beside me and as we got closer to home she started trembling like she was afraid of something. I looked over at Diane and she was the same way.

"What's going on girls, what are you two afraid of?"

"Don't worry about it Nelson," Diane said, "we'll tell you all about it at Lena's place."

Lena gave me directions and soon I was parallel parking in front of an old brownstone style house on the side of the hill. We got out and Lena led us around back to a stairway going up to her 3rd floor apartment. It was a pretty nice place with a large living and bedroom combination with a bathroom showing through an open door to the right of the stairs and a kitchen on the left. There was a large bed cattycorner on the right in front of a bay window and a couch and two arm chairs over on the left. Lena went to the couch and sat down pulling me down on her left and Diane over on my other side.

"Okay Nelson, it is time for us to talk. After you left my world fell apart and I suddenly had to fend for myself. I went over to your house to see if you could help me and you were gone. Your mother found out what was going on and took me in. I stayed in your room until I got a job lead in Vegas. I went out there to be a dealer in one of the clubs, and found out that that was just a prelude to being a prostitute in one of their brothels. At that point my self image was very low and I decided to do it. I entered my first working house and found Diane already there. We became close friends and lovers. We had so many things in common, and the biggest was that we were both in love with you and you wouldn't give us the time of day. I worked there for two years and Diane a year and a half until we had enough money to pay for school. The big question is this. Can you handle having two whores for girlfriends?"

I just sat there stunned. What could I say that wouldn't be misinterpreted? I had always loved Diane and had been getting very strong feelings for Lena. Now I found out that they had been working as whores and wanted me to be their boyfriend. I was silent for so long that they started to cry.

"Stop that. What happens if I say yes?"

"You get two girlfriends that will do everything they can to please you Nelson."

Suddenly I realized something and broke out laughing; in fact it was that kind of manic laughing where you can't stop. I laughed so hard that I was having trouble trying to catch my breath. When I started choking Diane jumped up and slapped me right across the chops.

"What the hell is so goddamned funny Ricky? If you are going to tell us no then do it, you don't have to insult us."