All Comments on 'Why Momma Was Wrong About Women'

your completly right. against everything in the press, radio or tv. women did not go on in their evolution. and what ever they tell you the opposite is right. a study in the UK showed 50% of the children born are not from the husband. figure it out 50 %! so what does that tell us? men tried to be less wild and savage but unfortunately to their disadvantage. If you don't make the rules in your partnership and give in once to many, she will be out of control and you are loosing her. really sad that if you want to have the girl you love you have to treat her like a little kid otherwise she thinks she has a wimp and fool at her side and is not respecting you anymore.

She knows what she is talking about...somewhat. You see mom is talking about a certain quality of woman. They are out there and they do exist. They are just tough to find. They aren't the flashiest people in the place. They may not have noticeable boom...pow. They are often overlooked because well men are too busy looking for a bad girl. They ignore the sweet girl for the girl that craps on them at every opportunity.

I have been both. I have been the nice girl but before that I was the "bitch". I was the one that sent good guys away for their own good. Oh I am sure they didn't see it as a favor at the time. But believe me I did do them a favor. I treated men like something I stepped in. If you were a nice guy. Why would I want to go out with you and treat you like that. You deserve more. You deserve better.

Now the bad boy. He deserves whatever I crap I drop him.

When I was ready for real lasting love I chose a nice guy. A nice guy that I am glad to say was often overlooked or relegated to friend status with women. Why am I glad? Because that nice guy and I have been married for 13 years and I couldn't ask for better.

So hang in there...Mom isn't totally wrong.

Gonna have to disagree, though. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy. Your mom isn't entirely wrong. It's just that guys tend to take that advice to an illogical extreme figuring that if mom gave great advice, then the greatest application of it will yield the best results. Be a nice guy... with a spine. Be the CONFIDENT nice guy. A guy who treats others with respect but does not compromise his own values. A guy who truly treats woman as equals, which means calling them on their shit sometimes, and not being offended when they call you on yours. Walk WITH her, not behind her. She's human just like you are, not some goddess to be worshiped. They're no better off with guys who treat them as the excrement on their boot. Find a balance that fits you. Take mom's advice to heart, but don't allow it to consume your being. Women brush off nice guys because, while puppies are cute, desperation is not. If you treat anyone as if you aren't fit to even walk in their shadow, then eventually they will clue into that, and then you're fucked. That is the problem facing MOST, but not all nice guys.

I'm leaving a 25 because, yeah, there's a wide variety of traits and preferences out there, so you are sometimes right. But mostly wrong. Look at the same woman who goes for the cocky, macho, badboy ten years from now, and tell me she didn't leave him in 6 months, go crying to some ex or some new friend who was nice, charming, responsible, wearing slacks and a sweater, and marry him. THAT is evolution; teens are stupid. We all were. We liked stupid things, we thought we knew what we wanted, and we loved adventure and rebellion and the guys loved big breasts and the women wanted huge biceps. And then we grew up, realized the importance of dedication, responsibility, respect, etc, especially when children come along.

Or, to cut it short, forget people in their teens, their twenties, and look at the late thirties and beyond. Where, in most of society, do you find those "tough, masculine" guys and where do you find those "polite, generous guys"? If you said something like "trailer parks" and "suburbs" respectively, you get a cookie. And of those two groups, where do you find the educated, dedicated, pretty women? Thought so.

My only negative comment would be that you didn't go far enough and the only part you got wrong was the notion of women "not knowing what they want". Oh, they know all right. But admitting it to themselves is not going to happen, ever!- unless....

alcohol is introduced. Amazing how women act differently (and their real self comes out) after a few drinks.

"Equality is not all it's cracked up to be." That's precisely the belief I've come to over my 30+ years on this Earth. Racial equality is one thing, but gender equality is much more difficult to define, much less achieve. As dating/r'ships guru Marc Rudov says, women tend to want "equality in the workplace & special privileges outside of it," i.e., they want to have their cake & eat it too. I've got news for those who complain about chivalry being dead: Feminism killed it! And unfortunately, feminism has killed manhood in Western countries as well, because a whole generation (or 2) of males, ranging in age from their 40s on down, have grown up without fathers to give them a male perspective on M-F r'ships, & thus have only their mothers to give them advice that, though well-intentioned, backfires. M-F r'ships are indeed a different animal from platonic friendships; as Malcolm X used to say, "It is impossible for a chicken to produce a duck egg, even though they both belong to the same family of fowl." Your essay is right on; our clueless brothers throughout the Western world are long overdue for a MALE perspective. It takes a MAN to teach a man!

Yep, that pretty much covers it. For those of you still in your 20s and 30s..........wait for it .......... wait for it......

"Your girlfriend dumps you for some badboy. Someone who you know is not right for her. Someone who doesn't respect her like you do. Who won't treat her right or as an equal like you. Well buddy, what the hell makes you think that that is what a woman wants in her relationship? Makes sense though doesn't it. As a man, you are looking for respect, equality certainly, and someone who will treat you good. Well woman are not men!"

Translation: Your girlfriend dumps you. You start looking for flaws in her next boyfriend. You compare yourself to him, and you, being the arrogant ass that you are, think that the girl you like would be better off with you. Since you think that, it must be true. After all, you are a completely unbiased party. So, why the hell is this girl not dating you? Well, there's no logical reason why you're not better than him, so it must be... Because this girl is a woman! And women are teh mysterious.

Mom wasn't wrong. You just misinterpreted.

Treating a woman with respect and kindness doesn't equate to being a wuss. If you love her, you won't try to hurt her. You won't cheat on her or intentionally do anything to make her feel insecure. You'll take her opinions seriously and you'll give her a hand with the dishes or the cleaning once in a while. You won't treat her as if she's stupid or unworthy. That's what mom meant.

None of that precludes having a pair of balls. You can be kind to your wife or girlfriend without letting her walk all over you. You do this by doing exactly what mom said: You treat her like your equal. That's not acting like a wuss - that's making sure neither of you gets short-changed. She gets to have a night out with the girls, you get to have a night out with the guys. She doesn't like it when you call her that name - well, don't call her that name, but that doesn't mean she gets to verbally abuse you.

You can be kind and respectful without being a doormat. As a woman, I'll say this much: I love a man who'll be rough and dominant in the bedroom but still get me a glass of water afterward. And then be able to have a two-way conversation with me about the stock market. You don't have to be a thrill-seeking bad boy to get my attention; you just have to be confident in your masculinity and able to keep up with me.

Nice has nothing to do with being a doormat. Just like being nasty has nothing to do with being domineering. Notice how bullies are mean, but back down the minute someone confronts them?

People who avoid confrontations, avoid conflict, seek to placate, and wish to be liked... they tend to be doormats who engender little respect.

A man can be nice, and stand firm, and insist on his rights all at the same time. It's called "being a man" and generally can only be learned from another man, usually a father type figure.

Unfortunately, what your mother really taught you was to be afraid of women and it wasn't until you got pissed off enough to dehumanize them that you began to stand up for yourself and not be so afraid of the confrontation. Perhaps you should have asked your father why he ignored the messages his wife was giving his son?

But that's okay, the pendulum swings... In another 20 years perhaps you really will be a man.

tudy in the UK showed 50% of the children born are not from the husband. figure it out 50 %!

No stop the propaganda it was 10%

Perhaps you're thinking of the 40% of men who had children with the women they cheated on their wives with and how they had to child support and how those types of kidswere called 'His Other Children'.

Understandable since that study was 50% of kids in the marriage aren't the spouse. Did you read all of it or assumed that only the wife could have a kid out of the family.

I don't agree wholesale with what the author had to say. Frankly, I doubt that is what Sirsmega wants. He wants to and in the end analysis deserve to be heard & seriously considered though at times the passion threatens to devolve to 'rant ' level .

YET there are outstanding or at the very least provocative points made by him in dynamic but not bombastic fashion. Kudos. This will be bookmarking this one for future thought. Trust me, I don't do that often with most of what I read here or anywhere.

I have a 11 year old son and I am sure to tell him to stand up for himself and to never let anyone, including women, (girlfriend, fiance, wife) make a final decision about anything in his life, (except his mother, LOL!) Disrespect you (Especially women), And to treat all others with respect. I also tell, and show him how wicked we females can be!

Really great writing. I loved the humor in it too! It really made it easy to picture when my husband was little, my mother in law, (Rest her soul) cooking dinner or folding clothes saying these things to my husband and it made me chuckle out loud because when my hubby and I first met I was a "delicate flower" (sensing and observing he was "trained that way") until she wasn't looking. Then I would go crazy in the bedroom, or where ever we were! That poor man was so confused!

two words that helped make my interactions with women easier. they are: confidence and indifference. still treated them a bit too nicely, but finally found one who was worth that and everything else.

There is quite a bit of good evidence for this position, aside from "As much as she loves you, she cannot see you as a sexual being."

There is a valid point in the rest of what was said, but I'd recommend looking a little further if you want to understand 'why' momma gave you bad advice. Odds are she believed it herself when she gave it and I'd be willing to bet trying to keep you from being a sexual creature in her eyes had little to do with it, consciously or unconsciously.

My mom isn't one to give advice about girls, but the few times she has is - treat them like equals, not goddesses

That's the problem with us men, if u treat ur girl like her shit doesn't stink, y shouldn't she walk all over a doormat like u, after all that's what doormats r for

Respect don't idolize, love not worship and most importantly, don't walk on eggshells around her, trust me u will be happier

Sir Semegma for the win

Just be yourself. Don't pretend to be a bad-boy if you are not. Of course, it goes without saying that if you are, deep down, a bad-boy, don't try to hide it.

Treat everyone with respect unless they've proven otherwise; being nice to someone doesn't mean being a wuss, even you are happy if someone being nice to you; treat everyone as equals, men or women, you didn't want to be treat diffently because you have different skin, culture, etc.

Mommies taught us to behave in normal society, while Daddies taught us how to fight if everything goes south.

Spot on. That is how I snaged my wift of 35 years. She wanted a real man. Smart, leader, dominate. Not brutal, not rude, it is a little hard sometimes not to be weak, for mwn life is a little bit of a struggle , always .

Either this is satire, or the writer completely misunderstood Mom's advice. She said you should be respectful and treat women as equals. She probably didn't think she needed to say you should expect the same in return, but apparently she did.

Wow this is full of Horse Shit. Let me Guess you're Abusive Type the 'Badboy' type as you called it? Asshole.