All Comments on 'Why? The Reason'

Good story, Mr. Webb. Thanks for sharing it.

It could happen like that. I read the original 4 times and couldn't come up with any reasonable story line. Well done.

Nothing profound or new but a well told tale.

Story says, "Isn't it funny that New York has some of the harshest gun control laws and still has one of the highest murder rates?" Goggle (as you put it) is a great source of information, besides using it as yellowpages to look people up. New York has the 14th LOWEST homicide rate in the country (3.2 per 100,000).

The states with the highest homicide rates in the country. You guessed it! The states with the most "liberal" (meaning permissive) gun laws, and mostly red states, and mostly in the South.

1. MS (13.4 per 100,000)

2. LA (12.2)

3. MO (11.4)

4. NM (10.8)

5. SC (10.2)

6. MD (9.3)

7. TN (9.2)

8. AR (9.1)

9. IL (8)

10. NV (7.7)

11. GA (7.7)

12. AK (7.5)

13. IN (7.4)

14. OK (7)

15 OH (6.8)

Yes, most of the highest per capita homicide rates are in red states, and most are in the South. NONE are in the liberal Northeast or West Coast states. So, not sure where you are getting your info that New York has one of the highest murder rates in the country, when it's the 14th lowest at 3.2 per 100,000.

For the most part I have usually like your stories stony. But just because you are conservative doesn't mean you have to be a fucken idiot even though it seems these days most conservatives are.

The fact of the matter is New York State does not have the highest crime rate were murder rate in the country. It's not even in the top 10.

And since you appear to be stupid Let me make one other point to you. Pennsylvania has 1 of the easiest most lax gun laws in the country and is located right next to New York State. That's why having tough gun laws in 1 state which is located next to another state which has very lax gun laws.... Doesn't work

Maryland has tough gun laws Virginia doesn't neither does Pennsylvania.

Chicago has tough gun laws but the rested Illinois does not. Next time try using your brain instead of quoting Fox News talking points

Very interesting story!

5

A better question is do you have the original writer’s permission to use his story, or did you just plagiarize his shit?

It's the pathological liar in chief and his lying cohorts that you cannot trust. You probably heard the misinformation that the FBI is untrustworthy, the same place that you heard that New York has one of the highest murder rates in the country. You may want to stop listening/watching those "news" outlets.

Would point to the obvious conclusion that the wife really did fall in love with another guy and ran away with him.

I liked this ending but I thought it was a little too formulaic, especially when the bad guy tells everyone the whole story before he shoots them. Hell, doesn't he know that this NEVER works because everyone, including the intended victims, the guy lurking in the shadows waiting for a full confession, and the hidden microphones that transmit to the FBI, all now know the full story. Duh!

But don't feel bad because just about every husband who happens to come home to find his wife fucking his best friend also gets to hear, just at the right moment, the (now unfriended) best friend recount to the wife who is just about to orgasm that they've been doing this for years (surely the wife would already have known this, and why mention it now anyway?) and he can't wait to get together again tomorrow at the Radisson in room 104 at exactly 2 pm (at which point the wife's internal monologue is screaming "what the fuck is this jerk on about? Just fuck me will ya?"). Sure makes it too easy to plant the cameras in preparation and have the process server already waiting in the closet.

Anyway, I think I make my point, thanks for writing it, and 4 stars from me.

Nice little mystery, kinda bit much that hubby goes from dumpy hubby to Steven Segal in six months, but hey it’s a story and enjoyed it. Bit of a political statement about guns and murder rate but still 5 stars.

During the wrap-up you wrote,I learned that Geno died at the scene” then you wrote in the next paragraph,” Even though Geno and Johnny would never see the outside of a prison” ,why bring Geno back from the dead?

Overall a pretty good story.

Implausible is the only word to describe this.

Great story, loved it

Scores 5/5

It was a bit convoluted and highly unlikely, but I suspended disbelief and went with the flow. Thanks for posting

Superman wanta be, Tae Kwan Doe takes years not months and shooting with a pistol anything over ten feet without shooting thousands of rounds to get that good plus day trading all in less than a year, ain’t happening, must be Superman.

so melissa was the bookeeper and persenal confidant she knew evry location and dollar owned by conrad and he treated her allmost like a daughter

so my qeustion is how the fuck did she know conrad and why did hubby not know ?

she can say she loved her husband then why did he nor know conrad ?

its one giant gaping whole and i would not be inclined to forgive since she HAD been lie'ing to her husband for how long ?

Really good fun story. I don't understand why others nit-pick the story. Yes it takes years to learn Tae Kwon Do to a level demonstrated in the story and yes you need to fire a lot of rounds to become accurate in shooting a firearm. But this is the fantasy world where anything is possible.

Get real people and just enjoy the story.

That was convoluted and over the top and eye rolling, and in the end it worked. Well constructed written and very entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed this story. This would make a good pitch for a Hollywood style action romance.

The comments are less real and believable than the story which is a great and fantastic tale. To the 'expert' who related the accuracy of a handgun at 10 feet, NEVER SAY NEVER buddy!

This was a really good story and any attempt to degrade it's plausibility and accuracy shows the commenter does'nt understand what a story is! If you want facts and figures look elsewhere give me a good story(like this) every time 5***** and worth much more, thank You.

Thanks for posting.

Interesting but just couldn't suspend my disbelief.

Too many contrived things.

Shooting however isn't. The first time I ever shot a gun (Ruger GP100 in 357) I scored 5 shots in a 2 inch grouping and my second time (a Glock 17 gen4) all shots in a 5 inch grouping all at 50 feet, and I don't play video games. Hand/eye coordination just a thing.

I liked the story. I’m reading some of the dimwits like Harryin Va’s comments. He’s such a dumbass. Never has anything good to say about anybody. Just your run of the mill dipshit liberal. New York is a horrible state politically with some beautiful scenery once you get out of rat infested NYC. The rats being Deblasio and the Cuomo twins. Keep writing Stony. I’ve got your back

I have read both stories,too much Ninja Warrior,paratrooper,Land Rover driver,marksman,day trader,and so on,just too much. 3 1/2 stars.

My biggest question after reading is how did Melissa escape criminal prosecution since she was the personal bookkeeper with inside knowledge on all of this? It seems like the Feds would have been all over her and her family, IRS audits, jail time, etc.

I have to echo the comment about permission. Remora has another account that has been active as of Aug 2019. This story is from his first account. Perhaps locked out or a lost password. It happens. His comments indicate multiple chapters of "Why" already written.

I see nothing from you indicating permission. If you have it, please say so. Otherwise, I'm not reading it.

story you've written. The plot was creative, and the prose flowed well. There are some minor editing issues- "regimen", not "regiment"; "compiled", not "complied", "Tae Kwon Do", not "Tae Kwan Doe", etc. - but all of that is trivia.

The scoring today is bizarre. This is head and shoulders better than ST's mildly entertaining bag of cliches.

The main thing I see in this story is tremendous improvement. Do keep writing!

"fact check"

I noticed you did states, not cities, and also didnt provide a link, I know literotica charges and arm and a leg for each letter you post - but you should have paid this astronomical fee to prove your point

Decent story, improved at the very end (except for the super Rambo aspect) but...

Let’s be honest, hero-guy LITERALLY can’t even spell Tae Keon Do. (I was hoping for ‘Thai Quando’, if you’re gonna mess it up, be epic about it)

A quick Google (not Goggle) would help.

And while there are indeed many lies on the internet (shocker) there aren’t any lies ON Google. There’s NOTHING ‘on’ Google. It just shows you what’s ‘on’ the internet. And there are specific ways web content providers can make sure they show up in that algorithm or pay for it. So direct your indignation appropriately to people in general who (shocker, again) lie. A lot.

Like all that murder rate and regional gun control misinformation you are peddling.

Both ‘sides’ lie but why keep matching each other lie for lie?

Can’t we stop grinding axes and just tell the effing truth, please?

Can someone stand up and say honesty... or at least their best effort and admission when they fall short... starts with them?

Never mind... forgot I was on the internet.

When you do get your black belt, you finally unlock how the power to spell Taekwando (aka Tae Kwan Do) correctly without the extra "e" on the end. Regime, regimen and regiment all mean different things, if I am going to be picky about extra letters on words.

An ambitious reach of a story, but with way too many holes in it to be plausible. His wife's relationship to a billionaire, his personal transformation into John Wick, etc. A decent attempt at that reach, but the plot either has to scale down its scope or more details in the background have to jive in order to pull it off successfully.

"Isn't it funny that New York has some of the harshest gun control laws and still has one of the highest murder rates?"

What's funny is that you don't know the states with the highest murder rates are Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Missouri, and New Mexico. None of which are known for strict gun control laws. In fact, New York isn't even in the top 25. I'm not anti-gun, but get you facts right instead of parroting NRA propaganda.

Good story, mostly. But I think there should have been a talk about the cause of her abandonment since it was the whole point of the story. She was the book keeper for Conrad and knew very well what a dangerous game they were playing. The question is, why did she help Conrad, was there any benefit? She even had a seperate mobile phone wich means she knew exactly what she was doing and in what danger she placed her family. All of for nothing? Only 3/5 because the most important question was never answered.

super way to wrap up the first part. No wonder he never wrote another story as he never finished the first one. Thank you sir.

I felt like I was in the middle of a spy thriller. Although this guy was probably closer to Sam Spade rather then the smooth and suave James Bond. Completely ignoring reality, this was an entertaining read. Not sure it's a loving wives tale but I'll give you a pass on that fact.

but she never cheated or even attempted to cheat, that's why she was worthy of a second chance

Read it twice but just could not get into the tale. Felt like an "oh by the way .." kind of story.

3*

Regretfully, this just wasn't plausible and the premise for a story must have SOME basis in reality.

It was an enjoyable read, regardless of how implausible some portions might be - and the unnecessary and incorrect right-wing talking points. Still fun, though it really makes me wish JLRemora had come through with his own follow up and conclusion.

As with much of the fiction here, it is highly improbable. But it was fun. Shame more wives who divorce their husband aren't more like this.

Written in five hours, amazing!

Other authors talk about days of writing an no where as interesting a read.

Keep it up!

"my male ego" But bravely continued, only to be disappointed with a totally ott and unbelievable tale of a guy who obviously missed his calling in special forces taking out multiple armed assailants.

He peeks into the living room and sees seven people, three are Conrad, Diane and Melissa. So, four bad guys, but he goes on to shoot five people.

There must have been another bad guy that he didn't see at first glance, right?

Melissa was.a stay at home mom. You made her a super sleuth. So how did she fit into all this intriguing story line. Not anyway this could work. You need some reality in a story to make it work.

Just a well written and enjoyable story. 5 stars based on the quality and some of the other crap on here that thinks it worth 3+ stars. based on that it really deserves more.

I will be honest but when I started this I stopped because there were a few clichés. Paratrooper, martial arts expert, super sleuth. No offense but that has been done to death. It also felt unemotional and stilted. Rather than just run onside up you and down the other I decided to just drop it. I came back and finished it. I still feel it was cliché but it definitely got better so no "candid" (I really do like that barry) remarks from me. I enjoyed it really.

Practice practice practice. Nothing beats trigger time. Everyone knows when seconds count the police are hours away in Liberal Cities, if they fucking come buy at all it is to pick up a check.

Nice, if short, adventure.

Thanks!

For those of you who have never been to New York, If you just look at the liberal NYC and close surrounding area, you will see an extremely high rate of homicides. Especially this year. There are two New York states. The Blue festering Greater NYC and the very Red Upstate. Our rate of homicide in the Red areas is very low. The of states by homicide rate is very misleading.

IL is on that list. Just like New York, the rest of the state outside of Chicagoland would love to cut that area off. If you only look at the Dark Blue greater Chicago area, the homicide rate is out of control. In the Red areas of the rest of IL, it is very low. The same rule goes for MD/Baltimore, St. Louis/Missouri, Cleveland/Ohio, Las Vegas/NV, Atlanta/GA. When you separate the Blue Democrat run cities with their strict gun laws, the homicide rates out pace the Red areas of those states. We Upstate New York citizens have wanted to be free of the NYC anchor for many years for many reasons.

Thank you for wrapping this up. We all miss FTDS. There are many other unfinished stories in LW. This worked for me.

Pretty good but veered in a totally different direction. I agree with fact checking before throwing in a made up statistic (NY homicide rates)

I fel like I just read a latino soap opera.

Good story, though.

Thanks for finishing that old story, there is a JLRemora2 writer but he hasn't finished it either so maybe not same author....although I'm not sure I could have waded through 20 chapters anyway, (if you want to know wtf I'm talking about read the original story and profile). Yes it's formulaic and yes the bad guy told the entire story before being shot but you have to have a reveal in any mystery. Good job with it and thank you.

At least someone finished the story.

I took your advice and read the original story. Curious why it stopped after the first chapter when the author said other chapters were already written, so I guess we'll never know what direction those works would have taken us. As for your version, another strong effort! The plot makes sense and had some twists I did not see coming, yet made perfect sense in hindsight. Keep up the good work and if we don't hear from your before the holidays, Merry Christmas!

Second part of story made it. 5*

I could care less about the high crime thing, and the liberal, conservative bull. I felt after reading the original story, this had to be finished. Yes how you did it was crazy and not believable. At least you gave it a ending which it really needed.

Cool, ive been waiting for a finish to a very good first chapter. But id memory serves the first author had other more pressing issues to contend with

before I read yours. The story Why, by JL Remora is not listed in the loving wives category so which category is it listed so I can find it. Lit has a strange way of not letting you just look up an author so finding a story takes longer if you know the category it is in. Without the category you are just SOL.

So maybe this story required suspension of disbelief but isn’t that the name of the game in fiction? Fiction is a world where the author creates his own little world and we, as readers get to visit it for a few moments. During my life I’ve visited many such worlds and, for the most part, have enjoyed the experience.

BTW when I arrive in a fictional world I don’t enjoy, I usually catch the fastest mode of transportation out of the place. Usually a simple turn of a knob, flick of a switch, or simply closing the covers. On some drastic occasions a wood-burning heater has been involved.

StonyWebb , a five for this one and I plan to follow your other works. cd

Given the implausibility of Part 1, this progressed very neatly. I'm impressed.

There was nothing here as ridiculous as the idea that anyone could hear a waitress's description of a man seen seen some time ago (even though several times), and from that description, produce a picture so accurate that it was recognized.

read the original yet, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

...but to say that it's closure for the original is too much of a stretch.

On the original, the wife's motivation and betrayal were too evident.

Thanks, at least, for the attempt. But this one feels like a shallow whitewashing of the original tone.

And a lot less believable, unfortunately.

It's just a pity that there was only ever one chapter submitted, all that time ago. Nothing worse than a story that is just left to hang, where you are not privy to the author's intended direction.

did she cheat?

"And sadly, I didn't help the situation." - Why sadly? I would happily not help!

/

A little over the top for me. And why didn't he know who his wife worked for? And a salesman/day trader with only a pistol is hopping a wall into an estate with multiple armed criminals?

Lost me when his wife abandoned him and his 2 kids, but he has the time to work out every morning and take tae Kwon do classes every evening. Then happened to mention military history. Couldn't continue after reading to this point. Plausibility factor zero... give me a break. Sad.

But an interesting attempt to explain a story that made no sense. In a sense Melissa was cheating on her family,she stupidly put them in danger by working for someone who was dirty and put loyalty to 'Conrad' over them.

As others have pointed out the myth of difficult gun ownership = high murder and violent crime rates is an NRA myth, the states with the highest rates are states with lax gun laws,Texas at one point was #5 in violent crime,florida was like #3. The only states w lax gun laws that have low crime are places like Montana,Wyoming and the Dakotas w low population density. It is also a fact that what violent crime occurs in strict states/cities is fed by states with lax laws, most of the guns pulled off the streets of cities like Chicago,NYC, philly and DC come from states with stupidly loose laws that were bought legally. Joe BillY Bob can decide he needs some cash,sell some of his guns into the black market and face no consequences if they get traced back, lots of good ole boys buy a load of guns (no limits in Virginia), drive up 95 and sell them into the cities along the way.

As far as the FBI goes while personal experience is many of their agents are not all that great,the idea they are untrustworthy comes mostly from someone who is basically unable to tell the truth,he tells more whoppers per second than a competition for tall tale tellers. The GOP and Barr have spent millions investigating the FBI in retaliation for the Russia inquiry and found one email that was altered that in the end changed nothing .Why you had to bring Newsmax crud into a story I don't know,certainly didn't make it any better.

Man o man did I enjoy this! It was never meant to be a non fiction story. It is a fictional story that I thought was good enough that I enjoyed reading it. That is all I can hope for lets face it we aren't paying it. I gave it 5 stars just because I really enjoyed it.

but you saved the useless wimp JLRemora created. How obnoxious was that first chapter? It took the pussy a week to even open the fucking envelope, while reminding us in every paragraph how frightened, immobilized, incapacitated he was? OH, maybe its just a fling, and she'll come back! Barff. The clueless asshole was so lacking in substance and gonads that I thought Melissa left just to see what it might be like to have a relationship with a man.

But then you turned him into the Ninja cuckold. Yeah, it was silly, but it was also fun. And you cleverly used as your plot device the aspect of Melissa's behavior that never made sense and never was explained in the first chapter, having a private cell phone account. That's not only contrary to a healthy marriage, its dangerous. Some emergency requires the husband to use the wife's cell phone, but he doesn't have the password and the wife is incapacitated and maybe dying? In the first chapter the husband acquiescing to the wife's private cell phone account just confirmed he's stupid and dickless.

I'm glad Remora didn't finish his cuckathon, and I'm glad you did, by turning it into a Rambo story. Good job.

Thanks for the effort.

Me, I'd of let the divorce go through anyway. Lying, especially this one, it could of gotten a lot of innocent people killed.

felt like someone making a list. not sure why he didnt call in a missing person report to the cops. mostly was just too far fetched for me, maybe if it wasnt so clinical or had a bit more of what a real person would do.

The original Why? story had a certain quality to it that resonated with me. JL Ramora, the author, attributed the success of the tale to its editor, who died after the story's posting. JLRamora tells us the quality could not be recaptured without the late editor and that is why the planned continuation never happened. I personally wish JL Ramora would post the continuation and let us decide on its quality, but it is his/her decision to make.

For me this present piece did not have the caliber of the original.

She didn’t cheat on him, but she had secrets great enough to endanger her family. Then she had to disappear and hurt her family because of those secrets. It would be very difficult to live with someone who was capable of lying to my face like that.

So we are to assume his wife of 22 years unbeknown to him is a bookkeeper for a man who keeps the books for a crime syndicate. Does that make sense to anyone else, or is it just me? Pity the original story seemed to be heading in the right direction, this ending just does not work

I Bet Conrad and his wife had a Lot of Threesomes with Melissa ..

In answer the earlier comments, it’s not about states.

https://www.thetrace.org/2018/04/highest-murder-rates-us-cities-list/?gclid=CjwKCAiAwrf-BRA9EiwAUWwKXiCjsfO-gZekv7wpUj4fx9rv9ge0OFhIwzqFVMz0LiTRqNR0C8fKZBoCa3kQAvD_BwE

I’d say it‘s really about the war on drugs and the destruction of inner city families by several factors.

As to the push for gun control, it’s very difficult to subjugate an armed country.

Rather than mimicking the style of Chapter 1, you used your own. There were many parts that were implausible, but such is the way of 90% of LW. You gave an original wrap up to a story that was crying for an ending.

Read these btb stories, n no I didn't, only pathetic and angry at women losers read this tripe. Give it up losers, u don't have the dick or knowledge to satisfy ur woman, that's y women leave you to men like me.

This is like the "Dallas" it was only a dream crap where Bobby really wasn't shot. You really should have tried harder to reach the author, I was able to.

I don't think he's going to bitch you out, but he should for using his story, then essentially trashing it!

What an odd coincidence to see this story pop up. I had emailed the author of 'Why", JL Ramora to see if he had any intention of finishing the story. I never received a reply but the story has always stuck with me. I don't think his reasoning is well thought out as to why he did not continue. An editor polishes a good story and makes it better; he doesn't make the story good. There are several editors on Lit who could work that polish if he felt the desire to continue.

Since I didn't want to rewrite it or write an ending to it, a couple years ago I started out trying to write my own story using a similar concept of a wife disappearing and a husband's recovery from it. Unfortunately, like so many other efforts, this one languished until I recently began looking at it afresh. Perhaps I can find the time and place to finish.

Thanks for bringing a good effort to have some sort of closure to a story left open with no apparent finish in sight. Where is FTDS when he is needed? :)

MFH

First, if he meant NYC instead of NY the author should have said it..... HOWEVER, it is even more true that New York City has a very low homicide rate (and very low violent crime rate in general).

In 2017, NYC had 2.8 homicides per 100,000 population (btw, 2017 is in line with the years surrounding it). Which is lower than the per capita murder rates of all Southern STATES. For example, Texas it's 6.4 per 100,000, and Texas has one of the lower Southern State homicide rates. In the previous comment you can see how high AL, MS, etc. homicide rates are.

"Goggle" is your friend. Learning to use it properly is a huge resource.

Btw, I own a gun, and my county in California allows concealed carry permits. However, I do think we need to keep guns out of the hands of the wackos out there, and not let it be like candy anyone can get so easily. So, my comments were not about advocating for tough gun regulations. It's about all the misinformation out there. advocated by the extreme right and the extreme left. Although, I have to say the extreme right has gone completely wacky with the misinformation as of late.

The writing was decent for the most part. For a good chunk of the story the wife left and he suddenly started working out 27 times a week and I was left wondering what about the kids? Then its mentioned later that they are adults. But the set up kinda indicated otherwise. Then he suddenly becomes rich. Convenient. And he doesn’t know who his wife’s boss is? Really?

And ive always disliked stories where the characters reveal the entire plot in a conversation while the husband is hiding, recording conversation ect.

Just lazy writing. You did warn us you slapped it together quickly. So overall not horrible. But could have been a great story with some time and effort.

Lots of action, wife didn’t cheat, and a happy ending. I enjoyed it, even if it was a little implausible. I have no problem believing an ex paratrooper could handle a few mobsters in a firefight, even with a Ruger.

Well, judging by the quality of your comment, I can relate to you that i read the better authors here to satisfy my craving for intellect and insight.

The real BTB's I enjoy because if anything, at least they aren't offensive. At a very minimum, they adhere to a sense of moral justice, even if some of them are a bit over the top.

Given your use of 'Y' for the word 'why', 'n' for the word 'and', 'u' and 'ur' used the way you do as well, I am sure my perspective and outlook would be totally lost on you, so I don't feel the need to illustrate these to you.

And just so you know, you're most welcome to the 'women' you claim to have taken. Even if its true, and you're not a 15 year old, hiding in a cupboard with an ipad, pounding the ham (and let's be honest here... just how many superstuds like you would be reading anything on here, you'd be too busy entertaining all those goddesses), here's a bit of truth for you...

Quantity does not mean quality.

And if they are hanging off the likes of who you pretend to be, then they are definitely missing the quality aspect. You can keep 'em all. I don't want one of them. Even the ones who didn't go through gender reassignment.

Nothing against them. Any of them. As long as i don't have anything to do with them they can live whatever life they want.

You, on the other hand, should stop pretending.

I didn't bother with the prequel since it was another author's writing. I wanted to read this as a stand-alone.

I was pleasantly surprised. I'm not sure I would have forgiven the wife who put me through that mess, even if there was the flimsy excuse of life on the line (you think you could trust someone - with EVERYTHING).

The crux of my disbelief is the handgun being released without charges. Not in NY! That could or would NEVER happen. NYDA's are more likely to trump up charges to enamor the conviction than reduce the sentence (they're little like that). They want to show they are getting guns (even those that save lives) off the streets - no matter what!

Otherwise kudos

Smokepole

First off, I enjoyed this story. Its stands on its own and I wouldn't consider it a continuation from the original (which I would dearly love to see concluded).

I'd need to re-read everything but it feels like event orders have changed a little in this story over the original and the premise for this story is destroyed by the segment in the original were Conrad (and the wife) are promoted on television for the work they are doing overseas. When you're hiding out from the Mafia you don't go on tv to promote where you are hiding.

Liked this tale. 5 stars from me.

Covered most of the bases and let Melissa come out smelling pretty good. Plenty of nitpicking could be done, but hey, it's fiction.

Could have done without the potshots against gun laws and the 'crooked' FBI. Bringing up those ideas only distracts from a decent mystery/action story.

Why? by JLRemora has been one of those lingering stories begging for a good ending or two. Who knows, maybe if he had named it “Why does February Suck?” there would have been multiple finishes. Kudos to you for trying. Your story was interesting and well written, but less plausible than I’d have liked (of course, since I never considered writing an ending myself, that is more fairly described as whining on my part). If anybody else wants to give it a shot, the set up is deserving, as was your fine effort.

no sex just a very good story. loved it

Sales dude becomes karate and firearms expert? please

Nice try as a stand alone. You jumped completely away from JL’s original which disappointed me. One of the reasons I think the original was so enticing is the originality of the plot. ( I still want it finished JL.)

Your plot was trite.

Nicely written, great plot, believable characters. But if you check it out, except for recent spikes related to the Covid frustrations, New York city’s murder rate and crime rates in general are low compared to other urban centers, and have been for decades.

Thor makes some good points.

When he found someone had been in his house, why the FUCK didn’t he put up hidden cameras to see if it was the wife he was obsessed with finding instead of changing the locks etc?

Maybe the cpa to the embezzlers should have been honest with her husband...

Cunt is dishonest with everyone and made bad decisions all the way through to leaving him in the dark.

CA,

Yeah it would be great if we decided to keep guns out of the hands of bad people the way we keep illegal drugs out of the hands of bad people. Oh wait. Never mind.

Nothing better than a good thriller. Thanks for the story!

Good one. I liked it. Would have liked it more if there had been more of an explanation of Mellissa's bookkeeping duties and why she kept on with it after the marriage. In secret. Why the heck was she bookkeeping for the mob anyway?

Interesting...

-jaye-

Some minor details I could argue but I won't because in total it's a great story. Sounds like a movie deal coming to me. Wouldn't it make a great show.

@schwanze1,he did install cameras." But it unnerved me enough to get the locks changed and have an alarm system and cameras installed."

The ending felt like a Humphrey Bogart movie. Well done. It exceeded my expectations.

Thanks

A very good, well written and enjoyable ending. But is so different from the Original where his wife simply disappeared and he found her and Conrad's picture from somewhere in Africa, obviously with her full consent. The "Why" from JLRemora's story is still not answered.

Very readable. It beggars belief that this was written and edited in five hours. That is very impressive.

Well told story. Melissa is not a whore!!! Kudos!!!

Wow...great story 5*