Wife wants Experiences

Just a short tale to put down the thoughts that come up when I read the stories about wives wanting other lovers. It's short because I don't see how to make it longer. It seems simple to me.

*************************************************************************

Am I just clueless that I've never questioned whether or not I'm enough for my partner (girlfriend, wife, whomever). I read these stories about how supposedly self-conscious men are about penis length, and it makes me realize that I've never considered it, or paid any attention to how big, small, thick or thin anyone else's penis is. It just never mattered to me. I guess without thinking about it, I've always been comfortable in my own skin.

And my penis always seemed to get the job done. I've never had any complaints about sex from any partners. They've always seemed happy and very into sex with me. And God knows I've always been happy. Never had much need for kink -- Anal, multiple partners, toys -- I've never understood how you could improve on monogamous vaginal sex, with oral as foreplay. I've never cum from oral sex -- I guess I've always been afraid that we wouldn't get to the good stuff -- the vaginal sex -- if I shot my load during foreplay. I give good head -- women seem to love my tongue, but then I'm not worried that they'll not want to continue after they've come.

But when my wife asked if I'd ever want to open up our marriage to other partners, it gave me pause. Suddenly I was confronted with that question: Wasn't I enough for her?

We'd been open about our past experiences. I'd had a fairly active sex life since junior year of high school, have been in the military and have had partners in some fairly exotic places (full disclosure -- some were prostitutes. There's just not enough time for romance in war zones, no matter what the movies show). But I've been with some very experienced women who were good teachers and have been with some virgins as well.

My wife Jean on the other hand, had some experiences in the back seats of cars in high school before meeting me in college. I had just been discharged from the Marines and was continuing my education. She was an 18 year old freshman when she had sex with me for the first time. It was also her first time having sex in a bed. And on a couch. And on a table. Oh, yeah, and in the shower. Pretty much the first time outside of a car.

So that was the driving force. She didn't know what sex was really like with anyone else, and I did. Turns out her friend Monica thought that that was unfair and I should be willing for Jean to experience more of life if I really loved her. Monica was the snake in my garden of Eden.

How do you deal with that? Your wife's convinced it is somehow unfair that you lived life before vowing to spend your life with just your loved one, and she (and Monica) felt it was unfair that vows were entered into before she'd had the opportunity to spread her legs for the college football team. Or for various random guys in bars.

"Isn't that something that you should have thought about before saying 'I do?'" I asked. "I didn't force you into marriage. You could have said no."

"But you did force me. I am so in love with you, and I was so afraid I'd lose you if I said no. And I was so happy to say "Yes" I didn't really think about what I would be missing. But if you'd just let me experiment some it'll all work out...."

I sat down. My head was pounding and I felt like crying. This didn't make any sense to me. More to myself than to her I said, "I've always been monogamous, even when I was dating. I've had one night stands and prostitutes, but never when I was in a relationship. I've never shared -- I don't think I could share."

"It won't be sharing," Jean squealed. "It's just letting me have some equal experiences. Monica says it'll be great for both of us -- it'll put us on equal footing and bring new experiences into our marriage. I'll still love only you and we'll be fine once I've had my, ah, experiences."

I sat quietly for a long time, with Jean anxiously watching me, occasionally begging me to say something.

Finally I got my thoughts together. "Jean, there's no upside to this. First of all, I only lose in this. I lose the trust and love I have for you. I think I already may have lost that. Obviously, I've also lost any respect that you've ever had for me. Secondly, if you find sex with someone else better, why would you come back to me. And if it's not better, won't you just try another lover, and another, until you find one that is better? You'll always be dissatisfied with me.

"And I don't think sex is better or worse with various loving partners. It's just different. But the fact that you want to have 'experiences', tells me I'm not enough for you. I expect that you'll always be looking for more than I can give."

"But I will agree to let you have your 'experiences'......" Jean squealed again and threw her arms around me, planting kisses on my face and assuring me that everything will be great and I wouldn't be sorry.

"I think you're right, Jean. I won't be sorry. I want you to have the same experiences I did, with the same circumstances that I had."

I looked at her, saddened by these events. "I was single and fancy free when I had my experiences. You should be the same. I'll file for divorce tomorrow. Then you can have all the experiences you want."

I packed my possessions into my car, while Jean cried and pulled at me, yelling that this wasn't what she wanted, that she loved me and I was just being stupid.

"Jean, it's not what I wanted, either. So we equal there. I wanted a wife who was everything to me and for whom I was everything. You've told me that's not us, but it's still possible for me to find that. Meanwhile, I guess I was just part of those experiences you want to have before being able to mean it when you way, 'I do'. Goodbye and good luck." I closed the door on that part of my life.