All Comments on 'Wild Fantasy'

This is probably a true story written from memory by the husband. It reads like raw sex; a one night stand between strangers who are sexually "driven" by their overpowering desires. It's like a modern-day setting for activities that were common during pagan times. Thanks . . .

Ron

You started off the story with a 3rd person observer point of view (pov) then switched to the 1st person. This is very confusing. Stick to one pov to involve your readers from the start. You must decide which pov will give the reader the best thrill (happy ending) and then stick with that. The purpose of an erotic story is to get the reader off while the characters are climaxing - so build some tension into the story.

Hey, I think it is a really great story! I got a little lost because you switched tenses. In the beginning you say "She and they/ her husband" and then all of the sudden you are writing in first person saying, "I/ my wife" Other than that, great job!