All Comments on 'Will You Marry Me?'

When I started reading this story, I was honestly hoping it'd do well. Perhaps I still do, but...

This is the romance section... you know, love, whirl-wind romances, happily ever afters...

I loved your story for the fact that she wasn't a cardboard cut-out like 90% of stories on here.

The end ruined it for me.

Maybe this should be in the non-erotic section. It doesn't sound like romance to me.

There's no written law that say two people in love alway's end up together!

you are correct. Sometimes there isn't a happily ever after. I don't know what category this would go into myself, but it seems that 90% was romantic.

The lack of a reason for her refusal leaves the story unresolved. It's as if the author wasn't able to find a valid reason that fit within the framework of the story, but said, "To hell with it, I'll post it anyway."

A well written and very thought provoking story. True, the courtship had everything going for it, and logically I don't see any real blockage to a successful marriage. However, romance and love are not always logical, feelings play a more important part than many commentators on this story seem to realize. Physical assest do play their part in dating, but more weight rests on how the two people feel for each other.

If the feelings on one side, Bert's in this case, are greater, then the relationship starts to become distorted. The partner with the doubts, or lesser feeling, Ruth's part in the story, begins to feel trapped, squeezed for a positive decision without being sure that her feelings are close to the same level as Bert's are.

And I think Ruth made the right decision. There simply wasn't a feeling of joy within her, no sureness of her desire. If she's gone ahead and agreed she'd be unsure of the rightness of her decision, feeling inadequate within herself, for years to come, and that wouldn't have been a very happy ever after, now would it.

My opinion anyway,

Kydreamer@msn.com

Even though all romantic stories do not end with happiness, it fails to bring closure to any part of the story. It was good till the end. I know there are stories that make you think about what would happen afterwards, but this story can't even bring you to that part.

I read this one the other day after the first comment was posted, and I agreed whole-heartedly. Now, I see the reasons for the other comments.

The comment about one-sided emotions was so correct, it made me change my thoughts on this one.

Maybe, because we all wish there to be a happy-ever-after, we can't see past our own stubborn thoughts to see it from the author's view and what he wished to portray with this story. Yet... with so many agreeing, I feel he/she could have portrayed the emotions behind her decision clearer.

My two cents worth, and to chatbug, I feel you have been offered some really helpful criticism here, so hopefully you can take some notes from your readers and make your next story a masterpiece. This one had the potential to be great, it just lacked certain emotions to carry it across.

Good luck with your next one, and I can't wait to check out more of your work.

Chatbug,

I am a long time fan of your writing. I enjoy the smoke fetish theme of most of your efforts. This one frankly disappointed me. The dom stuff is ok in your other work, but why not infuse the romantic stories with a good dose of seductive and erotic smoking as well. Had you done that, I'd be raving!

Damn.....what a bad ending.