All Comments on 'William'

Pretty good, but in reality you don't just go to some strangers apartment unless your mega wasted.

I feel like there is so much more to this story than just what was written. There are two people involved, and a lot of backstory. expound upon it. Otherwise, the writing was rather good. It kept me interested enough to want to know more.

In terms of structure, your writing is solid. There were very few noticeable grammatical or spelling errors.

In terms of content, however, your work could use some editing. Nearly everything felt either rushed (exchanging "I love you" vows less than 12 hours after meeting someone is far from realistic, no matter the situation), overly dramatic (William loudly sobbing at a bar over a relationship we later find out ended years ago made little sense), or both (William falling on the couch because he's sobbing, then immediately feeling better, is improbable).

You've got a great outline of events that could occur over the course of weeks or months with tons of opportunities to work in the characters' backstories in a way that feels natural, and I'd love to see you rework this piece into a longer story that feels evenly paced and only mildly dramatic.