All Comments on 'With a Feather'

Good stuff. First readable LW story in what seems like weeks....

Unfinished, and he's a cuck

then you'll get your stars (or star, or maybe no star at all)

Right now it's just another unfinished story, and as such isn't worth the effort to grade

Thats it no ending. It was a good story but I feel cheated

Interesting story.

Every once in a while we see stories like this one.

Bad people taking advantage of caring people

wanting to help.

Most often it's about money,

but understandably here on Lit. it's about sex.

This story was very well done.

While it was a dark one,

it also spoke of the importance of morals,

family and actions having consequences.

It can be difficult to rate a dark story.

My first instinct was to give a '4',

but then I thought about some of the unrealistic stories,

that get high ratings here.

Why should a dark realistic story get less?

Sooo ... top ratings from me.

I kept thinking the counselor legally would have to tern Alice in for statutory rape and kept thinking you dropped the ball there, actually, you did, as it discredits the counselor Alice was seeing but the lawyer was fully up on that. This story is a riff on, of course, the story of Mary Katherine Letourneau who went to jail for this and eventually married her student. She recently died but of course, when the story broke it was so lurid and enticing it was all over the TV and the husband and kids moved to Alaska. This begs the question are you going to follow up on this, you've left a stunned husband and children who STILL BELIEVED Alice even as she made her escape, she obviously had some strong feelings for this man who doesn't seem THAT handicapped, at least it seems he's going to be able to hold down a job but he probably won't be a brain surgeon or an airline pilot. The parts that don't ring true to me was when Alice notified the people in charge of the program about Jerry and his questions about dating and sex he was still allowed to go to her home unattended. If Jerry had had some sort of accident mowing the lawn or hurt himself on their property Alice and her husband would have been liable so the actual school involvement doesn't ring true. maybe if it had been run by the church, but still things happen, Jerry's family could have sued.....could still sue Alice for rape if he was that handicapped and most handicapped students stay in school until they are 21 when they age out. Still like the story of Mary Katherine Letourneau it seems like there could be another chapter to this tale, did Alice get pregnant, did Alice fall in love and abandoned her family like mary did, Alice has some mental illness going on here for her to justify her actions, it wasn't just lust coupled with the desire to do good. Anyway well done, an enjoyable read and I feel like it isn't over. It's a nice place for you to stop and give yourself a breather but before you farm it out to other writers to continue seriously consider moving ahead with this, especially what happens to the poor husband who is sitting there in shock.

My son told me you where cheating, I catch you cheating and to top it off you go to a meeting and you bring home take-out for dinner. After you caught her cheating. Yep he's a cuckold.

This should be in non erotic because that's what it is

The lack of a real conclusion spoiled this one for me. 3 stars

Your writing skills are outstanding, top erotic tension.

Please do a follow up. Jerry’s version of Alice’s « manipulation » would be terrific.

Good story, but needs a second part to give proper closure.

Totally unsatisfying ending. Yeah, it might be something that’d be in a high-faluten high-brow short story to read in english 101 which is why I hated that class. God damnit, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!!!

4-stars & Favorite.

You really should give your readers a pay off for reading your story. This one just fizzled into oblivion.

Would have been better if it had an ending

Just a bunch of random thoughts and actions... NO CONTIGUOUS STORY. I'll spare you the obvious thought that this would(should) have ended with Alice getting locked up then divorced. Kids would have understood, especially the son. This is a very unsatisfying 'story' I gave it 3*** but I've always been kind to lame things, animals and stories! It could have been much better with a little imagination and creativity! Overall it was a colossal FAIL!

I do NOT agree in any way with the comment by ' Xzy89c1'

That was interesting and different. I skipped the entire confession as it mattered not. That omission made for a shorter, more compact story. The ending surprised me and I like that.

Dragged on to an ridiculously stupid finish.

Wow

Interesting story but unsatisfactory ending. Naturally it's acquired the usual troll comments.

Good read, nicely done. Fuck that that was great.

I'll be waiting for more.

This story needs a part 2.

Well written. An interesting story. Thank you for sharing. Cheers.

Why would he lose his job if it comes out that HIS WIFE is the one who molested a mentally challenged boy? He had no knowledge of the affair at all.

He should have called the cops, used the evidence to have her locked up.

but among the fluent writing and signs of creativity there are some things that go "clunk". For example, the husband's behavior after the confrontation wasn't convincing. It was far too bloodless, and he was strangely indecisive. "Counselors" are overdone in LW stories and are usually just a lazy way to tell a tale. In this case the counselor was completely unnecessary because of the letter, which could have been written into the story without the "counselor" cliche. Unlike HDK, I think the letter was interesting and useful to the story. This ending was an interesting twist.

Why would you write a story about such a clueless idiot?

Something original! Thank you.

The advice from the lawyer was circa about 1950. This guy would've never passed the bar today, of if he did, he would have lost them for malpractice. No university, especially today, would consider an affair by the wife of one of their counsellor's to be anything untoward, unless she was f*****g a conservative. With a plot overhaul and a rewrite, this would be a great story.

Excellent departure from normal formula and a novel takeoff from ordinary ‘loving wives cheating’

I would give it a 9. One point off for realism.

Interesting story.

I found the wife's actually excuses pretty tired and lame. Sheesh, she felt sorry for him and felt obligated to help him learn about sex. Sounds pretty entitled to me. Legally she was the predator and with Jerry being mentally deficient she could be charged and tried for rape and sexual abuse of a mentally deficient person.

I thought the lawyer's advise was pretty piss poor. The husband should have turned the wife in to the authorities as soon as he knew what was going on. Failing to do so could have him charged as an accessory after the fact and not to mention the professional and personal risks he'd face for not reporting a sexual assault crime. Because no matter how you paint it it was a crime of serious consequences.

Also going to the counselor was a horrible idea. Once the counselor was presented with the facts of the situation she was obligated by law to report the situation to the police as sexual abuse of an individual with mental deficiencies. The counselor could be prosecuted for not reporting the abuse and would most likely lose her license for failing to report the abuse.

As far as a possible murder/suicide perpetuated by the wife to "protect" her family all it would have done is caused more grief and embarrassment for her family. Also, such an act certainly wouldn't put her right with God let alone her family. The bitch is going to burn eventually.

liked the story but too many loose ends for any satisfied ending or closure to this story. sorry but will that end my interest in anything else LittleOneWon has to offer? Does FTDS destroy yet another would be writer? Only time will tell or will it?

Crazy interesting who done it , enjoyed the read and thanks for writing.

Once again for emphasis...AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED???????

Who played who? Jerry was not as handicapped as the wife. He knew she was the local church lady and took full advantage of her. She fell for his spiel hook, line, and sinker.

Interesting, but any normal adult would have viewed her relationship to Jerry as teacher-student or mother-son. Her inclination to demonstrate sex with him stands as a real sickness within her. It's like the many stories we hear about teachers who seduce their students and her attempt to rationalize it is very weak. She was as psychologically damaged as he was mentally challenged. It's a rather creepy story.

Too many worthless or uninteresting tidbits in this messy, unfinished tale of woe. The non-ending ruined any chance the story had of being entertaining.

1 star

Why would he lose his job because his wife had an inappropriate relationship?

/

"I was trying to save a young man's life!" - I don't think Jerry would have died if she didn't have sex with him.

/

"What part of it might be my fault." - Why is that even a point for discussion?

/

Why have a secretary read it? Why not the counselor?

/

Why wouldn't he just arrive in his work clothes?

/

I don't think we need every detail of his landscaping training!

/

Didn't the Jenny know how to tilt her head? Heaven forbid she show him a Rom-Com movie, and show him how people kiss!

/

I think that she was more mentally challenged than Jerry! She should have gotten him books, had him talk to his parents (father?), watch some porn!

/

Why keep doing anal, once to demonstrate should have been enough!

/

She was worried about him retaliating IF she cut him off, but at SOME time she WILL be cutting him off, yet she's not worried that he'll talk then?

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"He insisted that we use the bed that I share with you! - Who gives a fuck what HE insists, tell him fuck no.

/

"Did I try to take advantage of a mentally deficient boy?" - I don't think he was that mentally deficient, I think HE was taking advantage of her, though I think she was taking advantage of the situation to get some strange.

/

If she cooperates, which I have every reason to believe she would, a simple irreconcilable differences divorce gets him free without the negative repercussions.

/

Much too long, could have been done in three pages, tops.

/

Unfinished? I thought it was finished. Not knowing what happened to them isn't the same thing as being unfinished.

Good story. Horrible ending. FTDS!!

****

Wife was a nut and an idiot. He and family are better off without her.

Interesting story, sad and with a real twist at the end. Very original. Thanks.

...

It was all going so well until the end. An epilogue is used to tie up a story, give it an ending. What you put as your epilogue would have been better as a continuation of the conclusion.

It was a long winded way to say - wife had an affair, got caught, couple disappears, no one knows what happened to them, if they are together or if they are even alive.

1 extra star because it was an unusual approach, but at the end of the day - hitherto straight laced wife gets hit with MSR. Apr-Sep, hell in an ordinary relationship it can take that long to bed someone...

Stupid ending that ruined the story. 1 star.

Five pages to say what could have been said in two.

Refreshingly so for a story reader here. Not sure it needed 3 pages of written account about the affair but it's your story. Well done for novelty if not quite a lot more. Thank you

Interesting, different, and well-written. Unsatisfying ending.

Hooked

Nice twist at the end. Personally, I enjoy a story that leaves things a bit unresolved, although I tend to agree with Nathan.

A thoughtful story. And different.

Though I understand HDK’s comment about the necessity or lack thereof of her long letter, it does make sense if it becomes the FOCUS of second part to the story. At the moment, it feels realistic—things happen; there is no resolution apart from what we make. But this is fiction—you raised an interesting scenario. You could complete it, even if the story’s protagonist never knows what really happened ...

He was a sight smarter than the adult woman. He was a sight smarter than me! I never seduced a woman like that. Actually, I don't think I ever seduced a woman. Looking back I'm sure all my sexual experience came exactly as the female intended.

Incidentally, I'm English. We don't use demeaning terms like 'deficient', or 'retarded'. Such people have 'learning difficulties'. In this story the young man seems too have learned exceedingly well.

An uncomfortable story but very well presented.

The only bad part of Loving Wives is that there aren't many new scenarios left, so it seems, but this one was CERTAINLY different. I didn't like it a lot, but vivé le difference!

Like many others, l did NOT see that ending coming AT ALL. It does leave itself open to equally inventive alternative endings, doesn't it?

Now, that's a sensible ending. It's nice to know that there's an author in Literotica that stood his ground and chose a more realistic approach to end a story. He refused to an absurd fantasy filled conclusion like shaming Alice, castrating Jerry, and last but not the least, hubby found another woman to marry and they live happily ever after. Oh, before I forget, Allen didn't cancel the credit cards, withdraw half of their savings and checking account and change all the door locks. LOL, the wackos are all frustrated and pissed off. Good job littleOneWon

Damn. Well is all I can say.

GREAT story but I want an end for the wife’s part of the story. I know that may feel a bit simplistic but I still want full closure for the protagonist. Escapism is why I come here as is seeing the wrong doer get what’s coming to them or a strong lead forgive them. Without closure, the ending (or lack of) is even more punishing on the main character.

But most importantly, thank you for writing and sharing this!

Nope, 4 sluts thumb down!

Her letter was ridiculous and I cannot imagine anyone not seeing that she and Jerry would be together when she left.

The basic story idea was good, but thats the best I can say.

She was a looney. Too have sex with a retard. Not cool. What gets in womens heads....lol. 3

The ending was telegraphed all the way in this incredibly, ridiculous story. You try so hard to be edgy and cute in your writing that you can't get out of your own way. This is , by far, your worst attempt yet.

This is a prime example of what can happen when the bleeding hearts of the world try to make a silk purse out of a sows ear. Alice was trying to make a normal young man out of one who was handicapped with learning disabilities. I feel sorry for the young man who was sexually abused by her. She let herself stray from her life of truth and righteousness to follow her own thoughts and theories. How sad, selfish and stupid she was to throw away her husband and family and all the pain and suffering she caused them.

Interesting story! Not the usual crapola.

5

... many "good, churchgoing women" crave a good fucking that they can't get at home. I and several of my best friends are some of them. The kid probably had a hard, meaty cock, and she loved feeling it in her mouth and vagina. Get over it. It happens.

Can you tell me what is going to happen tomorrow?

Why, Why, Why, do so many Literotica readers insist on having what they call closure??

Old farts like me remember the Doris Day song.

Que Sera Sera Whatever will be will be the future is not ours to see.

It's a rare thing in life to get what we want so why should fiction be any different.

Good writers give us an ending we may not necessarily want or expect that's why they are good.

It didn't grab me by the balls all the way through but it held my attention four stars.

Thank you for the story.

Seemed like Alice didn't want to face the consequences of her actions so she ran away. The writer didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of the story so he/she/they ran away. A decent story turned into a waste of time by the lack of an ending.

Though Jerry is described as "slow" "challenged" his conduct and dialogue suggests otherwise. It seems as if the kid manipulated the stupid woman getting the goodies and making her think it was her idea.

The whore wife had more balls than the husband.

"Your wife is raping a disabled person, dad" - denial and nothing.

Lets family go down the tubes.

Functionally does nothing. The son does more in a few paragraphs than he does in 5 pages.

Despicable character. Too much being a weak pussy and no action. The son rocks.

No closure.

....in the end this was a stupid story. *

Too many open questions for me, so only 4*

Why on earth did you repost this?

And then?!!!!!!! You left your readers dangling at the end of a pretty sordid tale and not in a good way. Did you lose interest in your plot? I'm sorry but this submission did not cut it with this reader.

Would she have been less devastated if she hadn't been played by a "mentally challenged" kid?

We've already read this.

she sure knows how to disappear ala secret agent. For a person with "learning difficulty" he sure knows how to get a woman -- AND disappear ala secret agent.

3 star -- really it buggers me if I like it or not. But truthfully, the story was a fresh of air and the writing splendid.

Note: Why is this in the "New" (current date is 02/26/2021) section when I think I had read this a month ago....

Wonderfully written. Good job. 5*

Good story, but unsatisfying ending.

from a horrendously unbelievable cucky writer... time for u to drown in your own creampies...wasted ten mins of my life reading this crap

I've read this not too long ago but can't find the original post. It was about a month ago.

And it sucked both times

why is this in with new stories?

this author just rewrote somebodies past story. Shame on you littleonewon .

I know I have already read this story on this website. If you wanted to release it again, at least admit it in a preface. Since the original has disappeared, this just seems to be a weak attempt to fix a story that maybe did not get the ratings hoped for. I didn’t notice ANY differences, so without anything to compare to this becomes a waste of the reader’s time.

My original score for it comes up when logged in??

The ending sucked.

Leaving Alice's fate unresolved was very unsatisfying. Did she die in a murder/suicide? Did she run away to become Jerry's lover?

The fact that it had been over a year and nobody had heard a word from Alice was ominous. She might have been a deluded slut, but she loved her children and to completely ghost them and her husband seemed out of character.

A better ending would've been the husband divorcing her for abandonment, then moving on with a younger woman. The kids still hear nothing from Alice, so reluctantly accept that their mother was dead. Then, a decade later, Alice crawls back to her family begging forgiveness. It turns out she'd been living with Jerry in another country, until Jerry had an unfortunate accident and died.

The husband and kids all tell her she's dead to them after the horrendous way she betrayed her family, then abandoned them for years. Heartbroken, the selfish bitch leaves town to eventually die alone as a bitter old cat lady.

This is definitely a repost of the tale, just not sure if it's an edited one...

... some of the comments are even better. The anonymous commenter, who wrote an especially scathing review titled "what a pathetic crappy piece...", is definitely the best. Not only does he or she ask the author to do some vile things which I'm pretty sure are impossible but complains about "wasted ten mins of my life reading this crap". Judging by their punctuation and grammar skills, I have to seriously doubt this person's ability to read five Literotica pages in "ten mins".

Unless you like sluts and cuckolds.

I had read this recently as well. It made me think of an old army saying. “If you love something and it is truly yours, set it free and it will return. If not hunt it down and kill it.” This could apply here.

Is this crap being reposted?

Finish the story and give a conclusion as to what happen to the Two!

Yes...I did.

WTF.

The story was great what let it down was the ending. They miraculously just disappear both at the same time what a way to ruin what could of been a fantastic piece of writing. If felt like you took the cowards way out of this story. If you are unsure about an ending there are loads of great writers on this site that could of helped you. The story needs proper closure not use the disappearing act to a great story like this . All I can say is do a chapter 2 where they find them or pull the story redo the ending the story is being ruined by the vanishing act please do something it’s ruining this potential great story.

I really like original. 5* from me.

1* nothing else needs to be said.

Why? You took down the 3 page original that sucked and added 2 pages that ended up making it suck even more. 1-star straight out.

A good story, well told. A slightly different approach than all of the other LW stories. There are, however, two serious flaws. The lawyer is a representative of the law and must immediately report the sexual relationship with a person under protection to the state authorities and the same applies to the marriage counselor. So the slut could never just go away like that.

I read this not long ago. And I didn't see anything different. The author should have noted it was reposted at the beginning. U cgecjed byt ut gad beeb oykked si ut wasb;t ub tge aytgror's list.

Holy Shit!

Unsettling, but better than reviewers have scored it. Well written.

Cliffhanger? Sometimes it works feel like there should of been some finality on what happened with Alice.

And ends with a cliffhanger!

I had this strange feeling of deja vu also though I can't remember how long ago.

WTH? This is a report. What's up with that - per other commenter, did anything change I should bother rereading it?

It was well told but I think it should have an ending but I guess that is also part of the story not knowing.