How Could She Think This Was Okay?

How could she think this was going to be okay?

A wife thinks she deserves a weekend of sexual experience

As I drove to work, I thought again about the conversation my wife had initiated last night during dinner. This wasn't the first time it had come up, but the frequency of these conversations seemed to be increasing and I wasn't exactly sure why this discussion kept coming up and why it was important to my wife. She wanted me to tell her again how many women I had slept with before she and I became exclusive. She wanted to know if I fantasized about the past women, or thought about them when we were making love. Obviously the only answer you could give to that question was a resounding Hell NO!

My wife and I had been married for 5 years and although it might not have been a perfect marriage, I would have rated our marriage very high in terms of trust, respect, love, sex, friendship; in short, all the things that I deemed as being important in a relationship. I thought my wife felt the same way and I truly felt we were living the dream. Decent income from enjoyable jobs; good marriage; nice house in a good location, and enough money and leisure time to go on vacations and go out and enjoy good wine, food, and entertainment.

My name is William Harrison, but my friends call me Billy, and my wife's name is Molly. I'm a 5' 11" blonde haired, blue eyed male of Nordic descent, although I have enough Irish in me to fuel my occasional explosive anger. But that has been under control since my high school days, having been taught through multiple fights that it's better to use words than fists. I was in pretty decent shape, having grown up playing soccer and hockey year-round and having spent a lot of time in my basement lifting weights. I still jogged, played in an adult soccer league, and played some pond hockey.

My wife Molly had always had a natural sex appeal, with sparkling eyes and perfect skin, and lips that would draw you in when she smiled or talked. She had an easy way of making people feel comfortable and she could get people to talk to her about virtually anything, while she showed friends and co-workers how important they were to her by being a good listener and not judging them on the things they would tell her. This sometimes would border on flirting, or being too open and comfortable with people, but it hadn't ever been an issue for me and she had a way of stopping conversations before questionable behavior lines were crossed.

Molly did attract plenty of attention, because in addition to her sex appeal and bubbly personality, she had a body that both men and women envied. She was 5'7" tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and 34C breasts that were perky and firm regardless of wearing a bra or not. But maybe the crowning achievement were her legs and her perfectly shaped firm ass. She spent 4-5 nights a week at the gym to keep her firm and toned and it was her main release and enjoyment outside of work. I often told her that I had all I could do to not grope her every time she walked by me, and she had no problem with that.

When I really thought about it, Molly seemed to have the perfect personality; at least perfect for me. She had one sometimes annoying fault, and it sometimes generated emotional discussions between her and me, but rarely got to the level of a fight. The problem could be that once Molly made up her mind about something, she wouldn't let go of her decision. She believed she was right, especially in situations that were not scientific or lacked black and white data. This made her especially stubborn on some issues and I typically couldn't change her mind once it was made up.

We had both married right out of college, and had exclusively dated the last 2 years of college, so fair to say that Molly hadn't experienced a myriad of different sex partners before we got married. I on the other hand had gone pretty wild my senior year and summer of high school, and the first two years of college, bedding as many women as possible.

I guess I felt lucky that as a 19-year-old, one of the first of my sexual partners was an older divorced woman, who loved sex and had a lot of practice enjoying it. She taught me many things about pleasing a woman and about what really works in getting a woman to orgasm. Thanks to her I felt very comfortable in using my mouth, lips, hands and cock and in making sure I was pleasing the woman first, only taking my relief when I felt I had made the experience special for them.

I had explained this to Molly when she asked me how I knew how to please her and give her such pleasure, and she was thankful for what the long list of women had taught me but jealous that she had missed out on different partners and sexual experiences.

In our professional life, I was a mechanical engineer at Abbott labs, helping design and test the various injection molded components that were used in medical devices such as ventilators, IV-pumps and respirators. I liked the job as it was challenging and not really stressful and it afforded me enough money and leisure time to pursue other hobbies.

My latest hobby was gutting and restoring a 2005 Winnebago B class RV that Molly and I could take on week long trips up the North Shore of Lake Superior in Minnesota, or to the mountains, the ocean, really there was no limit of great choices.

Molly was a CPA and had a good job with one of the top 5 national accounting and consulting firms. This too was good pay, not overly stressful, and had some travel involved in occasionally accompanying a junior CPA on a company audit to assure they were covering all the bases correctly and that they were trained in the company's corporate way of providing customers with good service and insightful reporting.

Molly had been on a few trips in the last month with a new young employee named Andrew, who had just graduated from school and had now begun his 3-year stint to qualify and test for the CPA designation. Molly had once talked about how hot, confident, and outgoing he was after their first trip, but she hadn't said much about him since then.

Our life continued, with me spending more and more time on the RV and as I was getting closer to completion my excitement to hit the road with Molly increased. I did notice that Molly wasn't that outwardly excited about the whole thing and it somewhat concerned me, but I figured after one or two shorter road trips she would love it.

I also noticed that Molly wasn't quite as bubbly, outgoing and open in her communication and relationship with me. The sex was still great, hadn't diminished, and a few times in the last few weeks when Molly came home late from work, she had practically ripped my clothes off and dragged me into bed. The last time this happened I noticed her panties were wet and her pussy gushing when we got undressed and I could tell something was really making her incredibly horny.

After one of these intense lovemaking sessions that had occurred right after work, I went down to start making us dinner and Molly jumped into the shower. I decided that things were off in a few ways the last few weeks and I was going to ask Molly about it when she came down to eat.

Molly sat under the hot water in the shower and felt great about the love making that she and Billy had just had, but a cringe of guilt and apprehension also came to her. She had been going to lunches and the occasional happy hour with her co-worker Andrew, and most recently she allowed him to talk her into going to dinner and dancing. She knew this was pushing boundaries farther than she should be allowing and she knew that their conversations were getting more and more flirtatious and crossing the line of what a married woman should permit.

Hell, even here she was kidding herself. She was obsessed with this secret liaison and the idea of sex with a different man. She knew she was very physically attracted to him, and she knew she had made a decision in her mind last week to have sex with him. "I deserve this, and it's going to help me get this obsession out of my mind and get me back on track in my marriage."

Billy has had a ton of sexual partners, granted all before they had decided to be exclusive and she knew he would never cheat on her. And she would never cheat on him, but she had made up her mind to have one weekend of sex with Andrew and she had been trying to decide how to discuss it with Billy. She loved him so much and never wanted to hurt him, so she would never do anything behind his back.

But she reasoned, this is only sex, only one time and if Billy loves me as much as I know he does, he'll allow this and we will get past it and be stronger than before. She only hoped she wasn't kidding herself, but her mind was made up.

When Molly came down to the kitchen, I had made some shrimp salads, some cornbread, and had poured a couple glasses of wine. When she sat down, I said, "Molly, we need to talk about something and I'm not sure how to start."

"Billy, just go ahead and say what's on your mind. I love you; you love me and we can tell each other anything. I also need to talk to you, but why don't you start."

"Oh, oh Molly, that sounds a bit ominous. How many marriages began their ending with the "we need to talk" opener?"

"Don't be silly Billy. This isn't anything bad, this is something that will be good for me and I'll make it really good for you too!"

"Well, I'm not sure how to say this or what I am trying to ask, but Molly, something is off with us. You haven't been as open and loving in the last several weeks as we normally are."

"Man, Billy, did you forget about the incredible love making we just had?"

"Molly, I'm not talking about that, but since you bring it up, what made you so incredible horny that your pussy was already gushing wet and you were so eager to get my cock in you that you almost tore my clothes off?"

Molly instantly got a bit terse, but also a look of concern and guilt crossed her face. "Well Billy, if you don't like me being that horny for you, then maybe it's your problem and not mine"

I instantly noticed the defensive attitude and called her on it. "Molly, I see your look of concern and guilt and your defensive attitude is obvious. Can't you see it? Can't you please tell me what is really going on? Do I have something to be concerned about with you?"

Molly looked down and knew that she had let this conversation get off on the wrong foot and she needed to grab control of it if she were going to be able to have a constructive discussion and a positive result in what she was going to ask Billy. "Billy, I'm sorry. That isn't what I meant to say and I do need to tell you what's going on. I need you to know and remember that I love you and our life more than anything else. What we have is precious and I am so in love with you. So please remember that as we talk."

"Molly, now you've really got me worried. Are you having an affair? Are you cheating on me?"

"Billy, how dare you say that. You know I would never cheat on you. I respect you too much. But I do want to talk with you about something and I need you to listen to me and hear what I'm saying. When I'm done you can ask me any questions and we can discuss it, okay honey?

Again, I'm going to remind you that I love only you and I want only you. I want to have kids with you, grow old with you and always be your partner. What I'm going to tell you might be hard but please listen to it all.

Do you remember me talking about Andrew, my co-worker that I took a few trips with? Well, I have also been eating lunch with him, and we have also gone to happy hour and even to dinner last week."

"What the hell Molly. You said you weren't cheating on me or having an affair and now you are admitting to one!"

"I am not, damn it. It isn't an affair and I have never cheated on you. But you promised to listen. Yes, maybe I have crossed the line by spending time with him and not telling you about it. I certainly don't love him, but we have been flirting and the things we have been saying and sharing have been full of sexual innuendo. It seemed a bit risqué but still innocent, only that changed when he told me that he wanted to make love to me. He is 7 years younger than me, extremely fit and handsome and I have found myself totally infatuated with him."

I jumped up in a rage, "God Damn it Molly. Are you leaving me? Do you love him? Are you sure you haven't already fucked him and this is a bullshit way to tell me?"

Molly cringed at what she had said and how none of this was coming out the way she meant it to. "Billy, no. I haven't fucked him or anyone else. That's actually part of the problem, but please listen. I love only you. Andrew is just a kid; I could never fall in love with him. But you know that I have had only a few sexual experiences before meeting you and I feel like I have been deprived of some of the experiences you got to sample before we were a couple. I kind of feel like I was cheated out of sowing some wild oats before you and I fell in love.

And now knowing that this young man that I am incredibly attracted to wants to fuck me, I just can't seem to get it out of my mind. Today at work Andrew and I were flirting back and forth and that is partially the reason that I was so incredibly horny when I got home and needed you to love me."

I felt my pulse speed up, and my skin flushed as I got an incredibly sad and shocked look on my face. This was not what Molly wanted to see. She quickly tried to erase the last statement she made by saying "Billy, I didn't say that right. I love you and making love to you is so much more than sex. It is the most fulfilling thing I have ever felt. But I can't get this young man out of my system and I have decided to have sex with him and take this one-time opportunity to get my last sexual experience with another man before you and I decide to get more serious about kids, careers etc.

I feel like I deserve this, and I am asking you to let me have this. I have told you I would never cheat on you and I respect you, and that is all true and that is why I am asking for you to let me have this. But I guess I am also telling you I have made up my mind to do this."

Molly was stunned to see me slump in my chair and to see the tears fill up my eyes and start to slide down my cheek. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. It was only going to be sex. Just one time. It wouldn't mean anything. She had to convince him.

"Billy, I love only you. I only want to be married to you and grow old with you. This is only sex. It isn't love. It's only a one-time hall pass to have a sexual experience and get it out of my mind and I swear that I will make this up to you for the rest of our lives if you just let me have this. I will never cheat on you and that's why I am begging for you to allow me this one-time gift and proof of your love for me."

I jumped up from the table and the hurt and anger in my eyes alarmed Molly. I hoped she wondered if she had already done something to hurt our marriage and relationship? How could she possibly equate my approval as being "proof" of my love. What utter bullshit!

"Molly, here is what I am hearing. You have already cheated on me. You are having an emotional relationship with someone from work. You have already talked intimately with this person, shared details about us and our marriage. You've gone to lunches, dinners, happy hours. It's already cheating if you ask me. Are you sure you haven't fucked him already and this is how you are trying to tell me you are having an affair?"

"Billy, stop. It isn't an affair. And no, I haven't fucked him, but I will admit that I kissed him a few times after happy hours. Maybe it was the alcohol but I have to admit the thrill of someone different turned me on. This is going to be a one-time sex experience, not an affair. I'll never love him and I'll always love only you, but I feel like I need this and if you loved me as much as I thought you did you would give me this. Billy, it's only sex; it's not love. It doesn't mean anything, but I can't get it out of my mind and I feel I need this."

"Molly, I can't believe you can even ask me this. You have already disrespected me by having the emotional and sexually oriented relationship you started with this guy. You have already cheated on me by telling me you've talked about sex and the things you want to do with each other. You told me that you kissed him and to me that is as intimate as if you had fucked him.

I guess I also can't believe how naive I have been. I thought you loved me as much as I loved you, but I would never hurt you like you just hurt me. I don't even know if you understand how much you have already hurt our relationship and marriage. I thought I could always count on you and trust you and now you have thrown that feeling out the window."

"Billy, stop. Quit being so dramatic. I do love you and only you. You can trust me and that is why I'm telling you this. You shouldn't be hurt; this is just about me, not about you. It's just meaningless sex."

"Okay Molly, then maybe I'll go find myself some meaningless sex too and you can see if you still believe that shit." With that, Billy stood up, grabbed his keys and walked to the door.

"Billy, God damn it. Grow up and come back here! This isn't a bad thing this is going to make me better after this and allow me to give you more love and attention in our future than I ever have!"

"Holy Shit Molly, you are really fucking delusional right now. I don't know how you can believe what you are trying to sell. I don't know how you can say you love me and then treat me like I am just supposed to suck up your infidelity and get over it. Well guess what, I will never get over it. If you go ahead with this, we are over. Do you understand that?"

With that I started to cry and ran to the door, out to my car and was backing out of the driveway before Molly got to the door and called to me. "Billy, no. Please come back and let me show you how much I love you. We can get past this Billy and it will be good for me and I'll make it so good for you."

All I could do was just look at her with extreme sadness and pain through my teary eyes as I drove off into the night. "what the fuck, this is unbelievable. God, what do I do now?"

Molly sat stunned, depressed and now worried. God, how did I screw that up so bad. Why doesn't he understand how much I need this and that it won't do anything negative to our love and relationship. But deep down she knew that it already had. They had never had a fight like that. Billy had never walked out on her, had never questioned her love for him and now she questioned his love for her.

She didn't want to admit that she had already done damage, maybe major damage, to her marriage. But she had also already agreed that this Saturday Andrew would pick her up, take her to brunch, and then they would check into the Hilton and have sex all afternoon. They would then go out to dinner and dancing and come back and have more sex, likely Saturday night and hopefully Sunday. She planned on having as much sex with him as she could before she came back Sunday night and dedicated herself to her marriage and to Billy.

Certainly, he will get over this. I know he is hurt right now, and I really didn't explain this very well. But it was so wrong of him to accuse her of already having an affair and being so angry at what she felt she deserved and needed. Her mind was made up and she was convinced that Billy would get over this and they would move forward together to even a better relationship in the future.

After two hours and no word from Billy, she started to get really concerned. He was not in a good mental state when he left. She thought for sure he would call her and they could make up and he would come home and they could make love and she could show him her love for him. But, with no call and no text, she tried calling him.