All Comments on 'Within Amie Ch. 02'

I want Edmund to be the one who kisses her : )))

i love your storys but how can her mum not have had any contact with her dad 4 16teen years when she has pics of her up to 12years old and she only 18teen am i missing somethink xxx

What about edmund?! pleease say edmund is the main guy, cos it wud b bad if he werent, u can see he already is inlove with amelee. i love your stories, never stop, seeya! tani.

Sorry about the confusion, I think I've mentioned about Amie's parents. Her father kept in contact with her mother through a portal, but the portal is rather simple and can only send stuffs in (sort of similar like emails and snail mails haha but more supernatural-ly) He sent Amie's pictures starting from 2 years old (this is when Amie's father and Amie had to go back to Ersta leaving her mother behind because she was human) up until Amie turned 12 and then no more pictures and news after that because Amie's father was killed and didn't get the chance to ask permission from the Elders if he could bring Amie back to mortal dimension to visit her mother (Amie and her father had needed a rather long time to get better). It didn't say why her father didn't tell Amie about him being in contact with her mother but it was most likely because the Elders had forbid such contacts until deemed necessary. I hope that explains it all... To the others (Tani and anonymous :D) - Yes lol, Edmund is the main guy hehe and he will kiss her - eventually. THANKS for commenting and voting!!

lol i want edmund to kiss me

and how old is she? 18 like im thinking? maybe just a demon thing where they dont age fast? haha maybe clarification next chapter?

Yeah, Amie's 18. Edmund is 29. LOL, yup, you got that right, they don't age fast like humans do and although they're seemingly immortal - they can still be killed by other demons or from over exposure at staying at mortal dimension - if they can avoid that, then, they can live forever... LOL. The series is complete already, all's left for me to do is just to submit one chapter per day hehe, hope you'll love the ending...

im kinda confused on the time scale you set. Amelee left with her father when she was two, he died when she was twelve, and kept contact with the mom until 16 years ago. She cant be 18 then because that would mean he never kept any contact. What's going on? Can you clarify?

To: Anonymous - OK, I admit my sentence structure for that part is confusing. I'm very sorry about that. I tend to forget sometimes. Amelee was 2 when she left with her father to Ersta. From the age of 2 till 12, the father kept in contact with the mother. from 12 to 18 (6 years - no contact) OMG!!!! You know what? I just realized my mistake, I had mistakenly typed 16 I suppose. My mind said 6 but my fingers typed 16. Gosh. Sorry about that guys! No wonder you all are confused!! I think I made the same typo in on of her mother's conversation in next chapters..oppsie..I'll make a correction for it when it's approved! (I can't do anything as I've submitted it already - sorry) Haha!!

Just when I had high hopes for Edmund you send in this shmoe!! Edmund should tear this guys arms off for touching her. Then he should take those same arms and slap him with them! Yeah! That's what he should do alright and go straight dimensional on his sorry tail!! Whoa! I have had way to much caffeine for today. Just let Edmund be mad that should suffice.

I like the premise of the story, it's introduced well in the first chapter. I'll point out a few things, please note that I wouldn't be reading the rest of the chapters if I didn't enjoy this story, so don't take to heart the fact that my criticisms are longer than my compliments.

I see you've corrected the age stuff in other comments... but actually, you forgot one. You mention in the first chapter that Edmund was 11 when Amie arrived with her father at age 2. That means that he's 9 years older than she, not 11, so he would currently be 27.

There are a few other things that bug me... I think the first chapter should have more about Sarah, about how the father was always talking about her and wouldn't let Amie forget how much she meant to both her parents. Otherwise, when Amie arrives at Sarah's house and starts talking to her, the camaraderie they share seems a bit fake. It's too fast for someone she hasn't seen or talked much about for 16 years.

Minor grammatical mistakes don't bother me so much. I read through a few errors that I think can easily be made by someone who doesn't speak English on a regular basis and may not know the expressions, but I think you could probably google some of these things to see if you're using them correctly or have them written out correctly.

Overall, a great story, moving on to the next two chapters!

u make her sound like shes 9 w a crush on a boy: but mom boys have cooties ewwwww we r just frends ewww

Like a bungalow is a one floor house!!!!