All Comments on 'Witless Protection Program'

I was engrossed in the first half of the story...wondering ig Honey/Bubbles would find her way back. However when the breast milk, mooing, injections and horns came in...the story became silly. Go back before the cow stuff, pick up the story again and and give us an ending as strong as the first half.

Can't believe i wasted my time hoping the latter half would be interesting. Held out hope till the end. Much disappointment

I haven't seen the two ideas married often, but it's been a pleasant surprise to find such a well written story within this genre. Great work on this story. I enjoyed the exploration of the impacts of the changes. Most works tend to focus on the process, which is fine, but generally leaves me disconnected because the changes are usually pure fantasy, but reactions are generally based on some reality. You've got great and consistent characterisation, and the whole sequence is surprisingly wholesome considering what they endure. It's all narrated in this clinical tone that I'm not used to seeing in relation to bimbos. Very interesting effect overall. Keep up the good work.

Started out promising but then went sideways

I was surprised to find by the end that the whole story was in fact a science fiction horror story where the hero(ine) gets brainwashed and crippled while the bad guy faces zero consequences and is utterly successful in the end. Going through the events of the story to break down exactly what happened, how, and why would read like an SCP story, or maybe what you'd piece together from log books and diary entries in a post-apocalyptic video game.

Do you write non-erotic stories? If you do, I'd be curious to read them. As it is, you don't really have sex scenes in the stories on this site, and don't seem particularly interested in lingering in the sexual aspect of anything that happens, which is really the biggest weakness any of your stories have, in my opinion. I find myself reading all the way through them just to see what happens, and mostly disregarding the porn aspect all together. It seems to me that it would be better to commit more either way; Either putting more effort into creating actual sex scenes and spending more time in the characters' subjective pleasure experiences, or diving fully into the more complex world-building and plot-heavy elements.

Obviously this is just my opinion and no one has to read this let alone listen to me, but I figured I'd say something. I enjoy your stories, but they seem to be held back a bit in one way or another, depending on what the reader is trying to get out of them. Hope this was constructive and inoffensive, but if it came across as negative I apologize.

Also, I have to look up more words reading your writing than in almost anything else I've ever read, which if it's happening organically is great and hilarious.

And go read some too. Youre stuck in a mary sue tone and you like your characters to much to hurt them. Immediately upon creating conflict you fix it. Theres no tension no fear, no anger, no conflict.

If you transformed me into a beautiful woman, even though i have all the fantasy in the world about how i might enjoy it, I would be enraged. Guess what women feel rage too. People with big tits and tiny waists feel anger. Stupid people feel anger, disappointment, sadness, meloncholy, hate, vindictiveness, insecure bullying. Pwolle arent fair to each other. Go read moby dick, now make the white whale the person who transformed your bland as chalk main character. Thats how they would obsess about regaining control and identity.

I think you enjoy writing. And youre flowing well. But you have to hurt your characters, or there is no story. At some point they have to try and get something they really really want, and they have to fail. And you have to do that to them. No one else will. You have to let us know they want it in advance. There's a thing called foreshadowing. You give clues about what will happen next, so the reader feels smart, then it happens, and whatever prepbthe character did, fails. But god your charactera are just bland, like a porn story but no on ever has sex. It sucks. Just being harsh because im here to masturbate and you completely wasted my time. I dont really mind. Keep writing!

Thanks.

I liked the pure bimbo part of the story more, but the story was well written enough that i read it to the end, even if I could have done without the cow parts.

Very interesting. Definitely sci fi. Seems like stream of con rather than plot outlined in advance. Never knew what would happen next so I kept reading. So you are doing something right. I think you can do much better if you focus your ideas. Keep writing.

Thanks for reading Tina! The overall plot was actually planned out right from the beginning, but much of what happened along the way was a result of patron poll results regarding what content they'd like to see. Plus a little self-indulgence on my part, of course. Regardless, I do agree that the story took some strange turns, and in the stories I've been writing since, I've tried to narrow the choices a little to help keep the themes more focused. We'll see how successful I was once they make their way to Literotica, which all my stories eventually do unless rejected on content grounds.