by flaborn1957
Well equality swings both ways. Marginalized groups seeks representation to be the hero. In turn villains are needed.
Good job. Old ladies can also be creeps.
This is one of the best stories and author on this or any site
This was a good story but unfortunately it was spoiled by bad editing. The spelling or word selection and it destroyed the eroticism of your story. For example... 'The woman quieted for a moment.' This just makes your story amateurish, I don't believe that their is a word such as quieted. It destroyed the building tension you could have done so much here. 'the woman became silent, her eyes burning into Sandra's.' This in itself is not perfect but it reads better. I don't want to sound negative and I wish to help. I am a published writer but not with erotic literature. When I have gotten my story to the point that I think it's good I print it off and read out loud this way I find the errors leap off the page at me. I then do another draft and read aloud again. I have repeated this up to 20 times before arriving at something good enough to present to my publisher.
LOVEDIT SO FAR WISH TO READ MORE PLEASE CONTINUE WITH FURTHER INSTALLMENTS
You can't stop there, I can't describe how breathless I got, reading your story. Pls continue with subsequent visits. Wonderful writing, kept me gripped!
Great writing, fantastic story. please let me know if you have written anymore stories. Eddy(edna) ednaou812@yahoo.com
Why not finish the story/continue it? why not add another chapter to it, or more pages to the original story, this story is not complete, as you say that the girl went back again and again some times for two days, what happen during those two days, or when the girl went back, write about, and don't leave the story haging the way it is.I am sure I am not the only one who feels that way about it.
the story was good but it would have been cool to read about all the days and each act that happened