All Comments on 'Women: Conniving, Scheming...'

I have never bad-mouthed an author on this site .but I haven't even read to the end of the second page and already pissed. GET A FUCKING PROOF-READER.!!! In the first 2 pages you jump all over the fucking place... no continuity what so ever. Also we are told that Vonda is the older/oldest sister about 20 fucking times. I remember the first time. There are about 200 stories started but never finished.

I started to read this story because I liked your other stories. Now since I ranted(first time) I will go back to reading the next 6 pages and hope you redeem yourself.

Signed: IQ 182

It must have been hard growing up in a nigger hating racist family. But you seemed to turn out no worse the ware.

...taxidermy them and stand them in the corner either.

If the other guy carried so much about his sick wife, why was he fucking Vonda?

and I would have thought that it was a StangStar story.

This was a good story told from an interesting perspective. Sherry was upfront the whole time . She was willing to back out if he had wanted to stay with his wife.I enjoy your stories ,keep it up.

Glad you are back to writing great stories, and that you let IronDragon totally redeem your brain fart. This story, even without a Mustang, is certainly on a par with StangStar06 - which is the highest praise and best company to be in that I can think of.

Carvohi, you are a no writing scum sucking, head cheese eating asshole mother fucker----eat shit saahole.

but there is always something that irritates me in your stories, I guess it is that the people who wrong others always get scot free and without any consequences to their actions, I know that this common in real life, but in real life people who get away with it are too rich or powerful or smart, in your stories, bad people get away with it because the people who are wronged are too noble to the point of being ridicules and this is what i guess is not real about your stories, there are rarely people who don't want to lash out in their time of anger and especially against the people who did them wrong, i am against physical revenge against the lover because the wife is just another pussy for him, but,...outing the wife for the true bitch she is to everybody around, causing her and her lover problems in their work place, why not??, so the lover has this sick wife whom he spent his life with her and has three children with her and he doesn't care if she finds out, and i am the one who suppose to care about her and how she would feel if she finds out? should i suppose to care about the feelings of the parents of the wife who cheated on me and were trying to push us together in hopes of reconciliation, there are millions of justifications for the bad things people do, and if there are no lines drawn then the lover and the wife will continue doing this and god knows what else, and if you care about the wife of the lover why wouldn't you care about the wife of the next man your ex will seduce or the husband of the next wife the lover will seduce...it is an endless circle of justification and letting them get away scot free is not the answer. however,good read, thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing.

OMG stang wrote a story and used you name! really liked it. and up until obama we only had white presidents. so when we said we did not like their policies were we showing prejudice against whites because they were white? just wondering because i want to use the same standard for all of them.

Well written but highly frustrating!!!

This was so much better than your last effort. Your need to describe every single detail makes it long at times but it was a good read.

I got an anon who liked the story but said it was frustrating. What frustrated you? Some comments are concerned that the adulterers didn't get their just desserts. This is a story about a young woman in love, not getting even with a traitorous sister and a philanderer. Sherry's love is true. Sure she schemed a little, but she always played fair. Right to the end she kept it good. She wanted Del and her to start fresh, no baggage. No dirty after taste in the mouth. My mention of politics is not some personal statement. Hell I might be a racist. I might be a liberal. I might be a Muslim terrorist. I might be a necrophile! I used it as a way to get some tension in the story from the start. There's one anonymous comment that attacked me. Give it a break. Is there anybody out there who refuses to read Hemingway because he committed suicide? DH Lawrence was reputed to have been gay. John Wayne dodged military service so he could make money during WWII. 'W' signed up for six years in the Texas Air National Guard but can only account for serving two. My stories aren't personal messages per say. Though I must admit it's fun needling some of the anons. once in a while. carvohi

Your back! After that last story I wondered. Wonderful read. Thanks.

Well written; but your protagonist is...a bitch. Politics aside, you don't comment on someone's marriage, regardless if how much you dislike their politics: unless there is spousal abuse, stay outta their fucking marriage. I don't care if you were a witness to the gangbang they had and got it on tape- it's not your fucking life, so unless you want the same level of scrutiny, then stay the fuck as far away from their relationship as possible.

I have no truck with cocksuckers whose sanctimonious accusations, even if true, point a finger at someone else while ignoring the fact that not only are they imperfect, but there are three fingers pointing back at the accuser. In the words of the bible: don't go pointing out the toothpick in your neighbours eye while ignoring the two by four in you own.

I did read the last few paragraphs. I agree with the previous comment that sherry is a bitch. Poor bastard did not get the right sister. Also, where did you come up with that stupid argument she made? Everyone else works 39.5 hours a week? Vonda is a professional and I have never met one that worked just a 40 hour work week. In the army we worked a lot longer than that. Are you claiming the USA military is full of incompetents?

Interesting characters, but too long a story! Del takes too much time to make up his mind. Also he is clueless for too long about his wife's lifestyle. No one at a hospital works 60-70 hours a week except physician interns or residents.

But of course realism is not priority one in fiction! Thanks for a decent story, Carvohi!

Look forward to more of your work! Dan

... Oh, that's right, they only made it through the first half page. Trust me, it was probably the political commentary that turned them off. At least, one of the bozos used a user name instead of the all encompassing "ANON" (really, don't you just hate those). My only criticism would be that the story might have been a little better suited for "Romance" than the "Loving Wives" category but, then again, if you had put it in the "Romance" category, I probably would never have read it. Finally, even though I didn't think much of your last offering, I definitely thought this one had an excellent theme and was very well written.

The cheating wife and divorce were almost incidental in the story and it might have been more comfortable being class as "Romance". I found some of the reactions of the commentators fascinating. It is similar to people sticking their big feet in the aisles and daring you to step on their toes.

Or were the comments sarcastic jokes? One really interesting one, was a complaint that you should not say anything to the husband even if you saw the wife at a gangbang.... A lot of other stories have people cutting off their "friends" and families because no one told that they were wearing horns!

An interesting change to have the sister as the main character. The husband while not weak, is confused and lost the way people are when their lives are turned upside down. The competing loyalties of the parents was also interesting. Overall, realistic, interesting and a happy ending. The only part that started to stretch the tale was when Sherry actually moved in with Del's family, quit her teaching job and took up work as a waitress. That bordered on psychotic, in love or not. Certainly it is proof of her devotion and a better starting place of Del than with the hospital slut.

First off you should keep your politics to yourself in this story it served no purpose but to turn off a huge segment of your potential readership. Maybe those of us that don't like O aren't racists, maybe we just don't like his ignorance on how to fix the economy, wasteful spending, incompetence and anti constitutional leftist policies

There was no real point in that whole thread especially on a week when your hero president is embroiled in 3 separate scandals and everyone's really getting a grasp of how truly fucked up that health care plan is going to be.

Second I agree you overplayed the this ones older thing a bit but that only distracted slightly from the story. A good editor might have helped you say that in a different way to get some more juice out of it. Like again Vonda was using her already established dominance as the oldest to push me around but this time I wasn't going to let her win....

Third a bit too much romance and soul searching whining for a loving wives story. I know that was a big part but this was so totally a Romance story. Actually quite a good one too you certainly would have had a better reception on letting the ex off scot free there.

those are very hard to find even in a cave, TK U MLJ LV NV

This one was better than Revelations that turned into a author loosing his way in the story,and making a mess of it. This one worked and had me thru to the end.

I am NOT a wall flower she says ... but when some guys in high school goes into the girls bathroom and attacks her ... and he gets hurt

she gets suspend> a tiny little girl for BEATING up a football player?

I stopped reading after that...

Raccoon is right about the politics. The main reason it is used is to get the Four Reasons said, and really only the last one! This is fiction, so make up two parties and maybe 'overpopulation' as a key point of contrast between Our Heroine and the rest of her family.

I thought the drama was overworked by about 60% or so ... Hubby's AND Heroine's!

There was an unexplained (at least to my naive eyes) problem in California - Hubby emphatically did NOT want to see Heroine. Then, when he DID return from his camping trip, he was ALL OVER her! Can't have it both ways.

Lost me with the political shit at the start, keep your opinions to yourself.

How many times did you fall asleep writing this? BORING! And you NEED a new editor!

This was a Stang-like story, marginally better written. But here the praise from your readers is much less, obviously because of the political comments. Which is really stupid, because no serious political arguments or anything that would look like propaganda was said. So the haters were turned off by the fact that the POV was from a Democrat. It's ok if the narrator is a cheating slut, or a murderer, or a sexual predator, or the devil himself, but if he votes for O., the story becomes despicable. Oh well, I guess we shouldn't expect any better from the typical literotica reader.

This was a nice tale, from an interesting POV. The prose was amateurish and this is something the author should work on to improve. I think the potential is there, careful rewriting and editing will do much for a story like that. Thanks for sharing, keep trying!

I enjoyed the story/

Nice story, well written and an enjoyable read

Many Thanks

To bad there is no screening of those who just like to trash a good writer ,some of those on this site who write also should be trashed or weeded out. But so many readers do not read the stories, do not understand what they are reading or just plain sickos. This was a good story ,with a happy ending. His last story revelations , he just lost his way and made it into a mess. That can't really be. Fixed . But overall he has great potential.

Excellent! 5 Huge Stars, and thank you for letting me give "Just One of Those Things" a happy ending. I appreciate it. :)

A fun read, nice detail. I felt like I got to know the characters. Something that is not found here that much aside from a few of the better authors.

Aside from the political stuff, which was fine, we need to learn to agree to disagree. Me, I don't agree with Sherry but it didn't hurt the story at all.

I don't like 0bama and it's not because I am a racist. I don't like his white side either or Biden for that matter. He is more an actor than a statesman.

And you seem to think you have to be white to be a racist and you are one if you don't agree with 0bama's policies.

A man is judged by his actions not the color of his skin.

With that being said, your writing sucks and you have lost a reader.

Yeah I know, no skin off your brown nose white boy.

One Anon criticized the little piece about the boy following the girl into the girls' lavatory. Didn't he read the next sentence. That was a true story. It actually happened to one of my daughters, for real just the way I told it.

Some assholes are really hung up on the politics. How stupid! It was just a Segway into the story! No one was called a racist. If you inferred it then you have a problem. Crap poor Sherry wasn't carrying signs and placards promoting the AHCA. She wasn't conducting a sit in decrying 'W's lies about Saddam and Iraq. Not once did she blame 'W' for our 2007 economic collapse. Oh heck, most of you assholes probably don't know the roots of that collapse can be traced to the repeal of Glass Steagal in 1999. Most of you dumb shits don't know the best man for President in 2000 was never on the ballot. Remember the lies Cheney and Karl Rove made up about John McCain and his black chiId? Recall the Bangladeshi kid he and his wife adopted, and how Rove nd Cheney made it sound like McCain had had an affair with some black woman, and how that little subterfuge cost him the South Carolina primary, where else, and the subsequent nomination. Gee and 'W' turns out to be the fifth worst president in out history. Criminy! I have an outline for a LW centered on the events of 1066. Are you going to pitch a bitch if the male protagonist is a Saxon and not a Norman or Norseman? Oh Gee carvohi loves the Saxons. How scandalous! What he must be a Norman hater! I'll never read another of his stories. I'll bet he doesn't like eating frog's legs. Shit. Come on people get your heads out of your asses. I can't wait till I put up my conclusion to Revelations. I should retell the story of Troilus and Cressida. That would piss some people off. Imagine writing a story where the protagonist chose death rather a life without his unfaithful sweetheart. How many of you stupid shits get upset when you read Tristan and Isolde? Get real!

Good stuff. The stuff about Obama is on ONE page of an EIGHT page story. I would would have thought, the Burn the bitch crowd would complain about the Cheating Wife not being torn apart by wild dogs; not about four paragraph concerning one dinner conversation.

Good stuff, Hope to read more of your stories in the future.

thanks.

Loved the story. I just find in all these stories that the husbands all just don't seem to see the forest for the trees. I only hope I would be a little more allert.

Why tell a story in two pages when you can stretch it to eight. Why did Del want nothing to do with Sherry and then all of a sudden jump all over her next time he saw her?

What was the point of the karate story? I could understand if you had used the fact that this crazy bitch knew self defence later in the story but no it was just wasted words.

Why have you written Sherry as though she has serious mental and emotional difficulties? It simply makes her highly annoying.

Who cares about the whole Obama paragraph. What does it matter if she likes the idiot in the whitehouse and the rest of her family like the former idiot in chief?

All in all this was overly long yet underwhelming story.

You wanted a shorter version?

Older sister steals younger sister's dream guy. Older sister fucks around. Younger sister exposes older sister and steals back dream guy. Does this work for you?

How about this? Dumb ass eats food. Food turns to shit. Dumb ass stops eating food just eats shit. Feels better! Pretty good huh. Short and to the point.

Try this. Stupid Idiot eats food. Has to brush teeth. Tires of brushing teeth. Goes to dentist. Has all teeth pulled. No longer has to brush teeth. Saves money on brushes and paste. Eats oat meal. happily ever after.

Try this one stupid! Baby is born. At seven becomes aware of death. By twelve realizes he will die. Decides not to wait. Buys gun. Blows head off. Family better off! Whole county celebrates stupid's departure!

Hack writer throws letters at the page like monkeys throw shit. The end.

Many people have commented and many have given very negative responses some doubt you can read, some doubt you can write but the only comment you seem to have a problem with is the one that says that this story is too long by half why?

This story is too long and is filled with fluff and filler to pad the page count without contributing anything to the actual storyline if you cut three or as many as four pages from this story it would still be a little bit long so can you stop being such a touchy bitch and just take this critism as it intended. Not as a personal slight but as helpful advise.

By all mean write long stories I enjoy them but don't waste words for the sake of making a longer story especially when details such as her karate background doesn't return sometime later in the story.

One star for acting like a knob.

Stop reading this writers stories if you hate this so much he keeps romance alive in everything he writes -

Some of us like it - we will read and enjoy - you hate it?? fine fuck off -lol It is a free site in a free country no one is forcing you to read it or agree with it - get constructive. those who feel it is too long that is a valid opinion - you think it is a one pager - I disagree. See pleasant discourse -

I really enjoyed it all of it - you left us a bit unsure how you end it for them - but the hint was when he did as she asked in the divorce -

I liked it. It felt like it was written by a young woman of a certain character. It was like one of Stangs explorations into different point of view. I didn't detect any real change of perspective. She wasn't an airhead. She had strength of character. She knew what she wanted. She went for it. She didn't try to hurt anybody doing it. Vonda was allowed to hurt herself. It read like a flow of consciousness of the character.

There were some places to bait the grammar nazis. I kind of ignore those. I consider where I'm reading all this. An amateur writer (talented amateur), using amateur proofreader/editor(s) on a free site.

The detractors are all arguing with the characters. This is fiction. The author doesn't have to agree with the characters he has built. He should be arguing that the character was that way. I think this is a major compliment to the author. Well done. I'll say it again, well done. The story was very readable. Written as from an English teacher.

It could have been written from the perspective of some really despicable character. See some of StangStar06.

Carvohi, take a step back and think about what the author has accomplished. You don't have to argue political views. You can respond with 'The fictional character I created felt this way, do you really want to argue with a fiction?'. You could have placed this in some weird-ass universe that would require pages of explanation. You placed it into some place that people think they understand, but it is still your universe.

Good job. Thank you.

I have read this story for the third time. I think it is one of the best on this site. I agree with one of the other reviewers, that this story is similar to one of Starstang06 tales.

Great writing you have a wonderful talent.

Thank you for sharing your story.

A little predictable. Should Vonda and Del have set up Sherry in some sort of trick it might have been more of a surprise and given it a twist. Otherwise it is OK.

never forget., those are not fool proof. TK U MLJ LV NV

Vonda was clearly the democrat in the family. Sherry was republican to the bone. All her values proved it.

just a little too contrived for me. She does the laundry, cleans house, and takes care of most chores for her sister. Del is willing to call at all hours to have her come over because he has to mow the lawn. She finds scummy panties and says nothing. He plants audio and video recorders but does not use the evidence. He asks her to go with him to his attorney's office and them blows up at her? He then just disappears. without saying anything but expects her to fall in his arms when he decides to show up again. He was willing to use her while married to her sister and will still be a taker when they are together. And she will willingly be the meek submissive little sister giving up all her dreams and ambitions. Sorry, just a tad to simple to be real. On a serious final note, being a teacher is NOT a lesser job or insignificant profession.

I shed a tear when in the reunion. I could picture it in my head clearly it was very well written.

Well writen, good story...so why only 2*? Because she almost destroy him asking him not to revenge himself...That lawyer was a bad one...any lawyer would have gone for the kill...First he got the divorce, only then go for the kill, suing the hospital and the lover...Then both would be destroyed...

Since you allow no feedback, though you'll certainly never read this I'll comment about your comment here.

You gave the story a 2; a "didn't like it much". This signals other potential readers not to read it. That's OK except you said it was well written.

I'd like to ask how much money you paid to read this story. How much money did you pay to read this story?

I'd also like to ask you what you did and didn't like regarding the content and construction of this story. What did or didn't you like about the content or construction of this story?

In the future, when you see something I've written you can assume you won't like it so please don't read it, then you won't vote, and that way your vote won't discourage others from reading and giving me their real feedback that will allow me to grow as a writer and eliminate long run-on sentences like this one.

I didn't read the eight pages. However, here is my comment to help you.

Stop making run on sentences.

Does that fix it? ;-)

While there were a number of spelling issues (mostly letters missing or transposed), they weren't bad enough to not be able to understand what the word should have been. The story itself was terrific! Great concept, great flow and well presented. I mostly read stories for the story. I'm not one to worry too much about nit picky things as long as the story is good and the flow doesn't interrupt that story! You do a very good job at that. Do I pickup on or see the nit picky stuff, sure, but that doesn't mean near as much as the content and flow. You are an excellent writer in many ways. Keep up the great work!

So far this is my favorite of your stories, my first 5 *.

My only small criticism is the way he ran her off at the lawyer's office, especially when he followed her advice. I understand his having to go off and work some things out, and his wanting to wait till the divorce was final before starting something new, but he was rather brutal and cruel.

I understand some of his reservations but thought they were extreme under the circumstances. A great story and solid 5

Good story...in real life though it'd be interesting to see if a man could date an ex-wife's sister without confusing his feelings or causing problems in the family (or a woman with brothers).

usually born losers off on the wrong road. TK U MLJ LV NV

A terrific story. I think you got the younger sister perspective just right - hand-me-downs and loved as the baby of the family. Good job!

I would have given it a five but...

1. She lived as a slave in her sister house

2. He treated her like shit at his lawyer office

3. Why did he destroy the doctor after his divorce

I rarely enjoyed reading a story as much as this one. 5*

Hi there peoples! Truly this story is FANTASTIC I loved it! But couldn't you have them have a tribe of kids! Vonda got her just deserts? Her new Horse cock Doctor cheated on her YOU KNOW DON'T FUCK WITH KARMA IT'LL BITE YOU ON THE ASS ? That type of thing! Oh well that's my ending I like it !, Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE. OH OH! No Horse cock Doctors were harmed making this comment! BYE

I enjoyed this story immensely, Carvohi is one of my favourite authors on here, well done ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

but you had to insert some interracial filth in there at the beginning ...

please relable as interracial . most people dont like to read about that filth .

thx

You know it's a great story when you find yourself investing heavily in the characters and openly rooting for them! 5 stars!

Your gift was displayed here in the female characters, an element not always your best. One small reference you made troubled me. You said people whose loved ones die at least let them grieve and then move on. You even used that hackneyed term "closure." Ask anyone living with the memory of a lost son (my case) or other loved one about moving past it, or achieving closure. There is no such thing, and no one wants there to be either. Life does change and you do keep living, but my son will stay with me until my last breath. Moving on is an insult, to me and to his memory. OK, it's off my chest now. Back to the stories.

I almost teared up at the end

5*

GREAT STORY, REALLY ENJOYABLE, PROBABLY BETTER AS A ROMANCE, ON AN EMOTIONAL LEVEL PROBABLY BETTER IF IT WAS A LITTLE LESS HARD HITTING AS BEING A 15 STONE MACHO MANS MAN AND READING THIS WITH THE MISSES NEARBYE WAS MORE THAN A BIT EMBARRASSING WIPING TEARS AND TRYING TO SAY IVE GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE, STILL I MANAGED TO PUT A TEAR IN HER EYE LATER (12 inches does that every time lol) JUST5*****. P.

This is a free site. Don't like it get the fuck out. Say something positive or get the fuck out. Nothing racist here. Well written well thought out. Grammer nazi's can go to hell. Thank you for the story. Loved it.

P.s. Barry was the worst president ever. It will take decades to make this country whole again.

I have been reading on this site for over a year and have never written a comment. However, in the middle of page 7 when the tears started to flow, I knew I needed to write this. Now, I will never see 70 again and I am not quick to hand out accolades, but...

You got me, Job well done. 10 Stars

I loved the story but I have a complaint; I stayed up way past my bedtime to finish the story and I'll be sleepy tomorrow.

Now to two mistakes that your editor should have caught.

1. The saying is "toe the mark" as in put your toes on the mark. It's also "toe the line" referring to putting your toes on a line as you line up with your group.

2. Alienation of affection for all intents and purposes is dead. It is off the books in 41 states. Look it up. Even if your state still lists it as something for which someone could be sued, it is only rarely used. It is very hard to prove and is usually ineffective.

R.

could put that much BS into family matters, TK U MLJ LV NV

Pretty drawn-out. Vonda needs some serious help

I normally don't care too much for stories written from the female POV but this one was very good. A bit too long perhaps.

You tricked me when Del left toen, you wrote that she never saw him again, which was clearly not the case.

To Anon who complained about "alienation of affection" not being valid anymore: Maybe so, but if you remember, the lawyer had to talk Del out of a heap of things he wanted from the divorce, this was one of them.

I don't know if you are a male or female and this is the first of your stories that I read. But for sure, you did a good job. Thanks.

Damn that was a very long story. No good reason for it though.

Certainly not worth the time it took to wade through it, to put up with your narrator being so repetitive ...and repeating herself ...and repeating herself again, and again.

Too bad we can’t just say; “Oh Look Everyone, Carvohi wrote a pop-up Book!”

JMSA

To bad her sister was such a bitch.

But on the other hand if she wasn't he would have never ended up with the right sister.

This one falls in the latter category. I don't know why you sometimes really drop the ball but this one was torture to read. Keep swinging and sooner or latter you will tag the ball solidly.

This story is really well-written from a unique perspective! It's a good combination of a loving wife tale of the cheating adulterous spouse and a romantic tale about her little sister's love for the cockholded husband. I loved the ending! I only wish I could have found such happiness with a faithful woman to love me after my soulmate wife kicked me off the island and got my three sons to support her throwing me away like garbage after 21 years of total faithfulness...

.

But I did feel I was watching a a 1930’s, B&W, Romance movie. I suppose that to be a compliment in itself.

A little bit polly Annish but it did, in essence,speak of a true in my life. If it had not have been for my two worst enemieswho really fukked me over, and a bit òf serendipity, I would not have the very comfortable life I have today.

Thanks for the fine work.

Beautiful story Enjoyed it Immensely 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

It's only those who care about others that can understand Sherry. Her love for her man never wavered. Those who see her as a manipulative bitch probably don't really understand her kind of love, at all costs.

It is a mighty tribute to carvohi's writing talent that we even want to comment on the character of his characters.

Great story line, conceived in reality, delivered in good flow, and resulted in closure. I hate stories that the author can't or won't put in the work to finish it.

detroitdave

I enjoyed it. I thought the ending, as predictable as it was, was very well written. There was only one thing about it I didn’t like. I felt it was unnecessarily long. The first page and a half were just the rambling thoughts of Sherry, and many of those ramblings were repeated throughout the rest of the story. I have no doubt that this story could have been written more succinctly in five, maybe six pages at most, and it would have been better for it.

Great story.

The story was fraught with unnecessary details, however. Sherry was a liberal in a conservative family... This added nothing to the story. That was the first one I caught. I agree with the others, you could have chopped out three pages easily.

The storyline was new, a bit obsessive, and a foregone conclusion. I liked Sherry's logic for protecting Vorna, her parents, etc. I also loved her four possibilities at the beginning. Well thought out!

Del's behavior was nexplicable when he rejected Sherry's advice but that was what he wound up doing.

Sherry was obsessive, she stayed at Del's parent's home for months. I can write it off to love, and the fairytale ending confirms that, but at what point is it a sickness?

Turns out Vonda was right

Man, Sherry comes on way too strong. Practically stalker vibes, I don't blame Del for being leery. However, he was an asshole for how he treated her at the lawyer's office. He could have disagreed with her without demeaning someone who'd been looking out for him (with ulterior motives, sure) since day one. Doesn't really fit with this shining knight persona that Sherry concocted. Well, as long as she's happy she got the guy...

Loved it, although the bitches in this one weren't near as crazy as in some of your other stories. LOL! 5*

I've been trying to read all of carvohi's stories, but I'm giving up here. I honestly believe an author should tell the story he intends to tell. With carvohi we get opening remarks telling you what you're about to read and, in many cases, closing remarks to tell you what you just read. These are bad enough, but when he gets into pissing contests in the comments section, well, it's just too much for me. Papatoad doesn't allow comments on his stories and that's actually better than this.

4*. Still to much crying

A liberal Dem girl/woman virgin is an absolute oxymoron... rarer than a unicorn... the whole premise of this farce is based on a complete fabrication.

A good premise for a story. But it was buried under way too much fluff. This story could have, should have, been told in four pages, five max. There’s just too much junk in it that does nothing for the story. Some of this has been brought up in previous comments so I won’t bother with it.

You can't use the line "That was the last I saw of Del" and have her see him again. It tainted the end of the story.

Good story but sooooo long and full of shit it turned a 5* to a 3*

I normally like carvohi's yarns but this one was way too long. The plot was innovative, but Sherry came across as a clingy whining wimp. If I were Del I'd have run a mile from her and found a woman with some balls. 4 stars.

About 8 pages too long.

Honestly, I didn't like Vonda. She did break up her sister's marriage. I hope Del cheats on her.

If your liberal please don't make this forum a place to post your views. I couldn't finish this because of the bs on politics.

What a needy, clingy infatuated pathetic woman. Talk about a character needing to grow some balls. A bit of a stalker personality.

⭐