All Comments on 'Women Who Talk Pt. 01'

Can't wait to read the rest of the chapters.

One thing, you need to resubmit an edited version. You lost most of your paragraph breaks in the last two pages. Makes a REAL hard read. Make sure you check the preview before final submission.

...has already mentioned the faulty formatting on pp 5 and 6. It does make the reading very difficult (this would have been a problem even on a printed page which is far easier on the eyes than a computer screen). But apart from that I'm enjoying what I've read so far. Some of the comments on the excessively religious types were telling (I loved the woman who is so homophobic that other homophobes avoid her). One reason I created Pere Gerard in my last story was to show that people can be good Christians (or whatever) without sinking into naked bigotry---I think that perhaps he and your ex-Hell's Angel pastor would be true brothers under the skin. As always, Shaima, a worthwhile chapter.

Where's the sex?

I live near the area it's set in, and know many of the streets etc.

But I'm put off the story by all the religion in it. And the fact there's no sex. Yet.

So I just skimmed the story.

I always enjoy your stories and this one is off to a promising start. Others have already commented on the formatting. My only other observation, having read all your stories, is that the main character, a woman discovering her preference for the female sex (a late blooming lesbian), is always one of two types: either a bicurious lesbian virgin (as in this story) or a previously married woman (who is either already divorced or just about to be). It would be interesting to see you use your talents on a bicurious woman who is is still married to, and in love with, her husband; possibly finding she is becoming very close to a friend or colleague. Lots of scope here for the emotional undercurrents that you write about so well. Sorry this is so long.

Nice Introduction

I have really enjoyed the start of this new story, and am eagerly anticipating it's continuation. This is definitely my type of "slow burn" romance story, therefore it will be interesting seeing Penny / Robyn developing a nice relationship.

Only 4*-Stars Due To The Formatting Issue.

Wow, Helen is already the character I most dislike in any lesbian romance I've read on Lit. Enjoying the story so far!

Helen if a fucking crazy manipulative a-hole, I actually am unsettled by her and people like that I feel may rape someone. I will never understand the need some have to feel they have power over others. It seems toxic and ugly. Enjoying this story and can only hope Helen gets screwed in a way she didn't see coming. Happily going to the next chapter.

As always I'm drawn into your stories. Perhaps it's because of you ability to describe areas in Melbourne so perfectly even though you have moved away from our small island... I will say though on a personal note, the reminder of my years past that I smoked white ox, was most unnecessary and we'll explained on your behalf. As was your description on the hairpin turns and winding roads up the mountain.

Cheers Shaima x

Just a scene setting prologue, so no high marks given. Still, it has plenty of Aussie colour in the dialogue to satisfy. Wish more of the 'she' pronoun used were replaced with characters names so that, when they are talking or doing, I can keep track of which character is which . All of the characters are 'she' and theres a lot of them. Also, it maybe meandered a bit, say for example, when it specifically mentioned which model Ford car drove by or the contents of a room, you wonder why.