Women Who Talk Pt. 05

"No, mince is fine."

Robyn left the room a few moments later to defrost the mince in the microwave. She felt slightly heady over the sight of Alana on her bed. She'd nearly asked her out in there.

Should I ask her out? What do I do next? And what about Penny? Could it happen with us or am I just kidding myself?

Nevertheless, despite her muddled state of mind the fates had other plans that day when Josie came home and over the next few hours the older woman chatted happily with everyone. She connected with Josie because she was a vet and they discussed dogs in general. She apologised to Erin as well and when she finally left the house she touted the possibility of going out for lunch.

"Just lunch on Wednesday but don't hold me to it, if the other manager is still not back on deck then I'll have to go back to Chirnside on Wednesday. I'll text you Tuesday night," she leaned forward to give her a half hug.

"Thank you for dinner and the cardigans," she stepped back, "enjoy J.K Rowling's books."

Robyn stood in the driveway for a full minute after she'd driven away before turning around to go back inside.

***

After the dramatic events of the weekend, Monday was almost an anticlimax. The day was overcast and by the time she got dressed and went through to the kitchen the rain was falling on the patio roof. Erin seemed to take longer than normal to get ready and when she came through she wasn't her usual cheery self. She merely glowered out at the rain-slicked paving path leading to the clothes hoist.

"Fucking rain, again, I hate Mondays."

They left about half an hour later and by the time they got to Croydon she was a bit cheerier and it was as they were heading down the covered arcade towards Main Street that Penny sent her first text for the day.

Penny: I can be used to store almost anything but I am usually used to hold just one thing. If you can guess what I am I'll buy you cake with your coffee.

She frowned as she stared out into the street and finally tapped out her question.

Robyn: The one thing you normally hold, is it liquid or solid?

The answer came back almost straight away.

Penny: Liquid.

She glanced at the front door to her place of work and tapped out another message.

Robyn: Is this liquid part of a food group?

Penny: No, but some people might argue it is just as good as food.

Her colleagues seemed either bored or just glum as she stepped inside and took off her black trench coat and hung it on the hook behind her desk. The question was still niggling at her as she sat down and turned on her computer, but for the next few hours she had to focus on work and yet today it just seemed so mundane. The answer to the quiz came suddenly at lunchtime when she ordered a cup of coffee after she'd finished her salad roll and mineral water.

Robyn: Is this liquid hot or cold?

Penny: The liquid is usually hot but you could have cold liquid in it.

Robyn: Are you a cafetière by any chance?

Penny didn't reply with a text but she did call and Robyn answered on the first ring.

"Wow! I'm impressed," Penny chuckled, "I mentioned the word, coffee twice in the last two days, looks like I owe you a coffee and a cake."

"You had me at the last hint, I was thinking all morning, off and on, about what liquid could be described as almost as important as food, so, now I just have to buy some decent coffee."

"I'll tell you what, I've got a half pack of Costa Rica, I'll put that into the cafetière as well and maybe you can invite Erin's boss."

"No worries," she twirled her hair, "so, how was your day? Are you still at work?"

"No, I've got tradies in here at the moment," Penny leaned on the bannister, "I'm looking at a huge scaffold in my living room so it looks like I'll be eating dinner in the kitchen tonight and tomorrow night as well."

"Oh, that's right, I clean forgot about that one after the drama of yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?"

"I broke up with Jeff over the phone but we're still mates though," she teased a lock of hair over her ear, "which is good news, I was fully expecting an argument or tears or something but instead he was quite supportive."

"Excellent, so... you're a single woman again."

"I certainly am," Robyn stared straight ahead and swallowed.

"Enjoy it then," Penny replied, "it's always kind of weird breaking up with someone, the rest of the world just carries on as if nothing has happened. For what it's worth though, I'm here for you," she paused, "if you just need to call and talk I'll sit and listen to you, okay?"

"Okay, thanks, and we're still on for Thursday?"

"Absolutely," she replied, "looking forward to it."

Robyn frowned as she ended the call and looked down at the remains of her meal. Was that a sign or was Penny playing her cards close to her chest? Should she be thinking of even approaching her or was it just a silly girlish fantasy?

It was a question that remained unanswered but typically for her she kept it inside herself for the next twenty four hours. It seemed the most prudent course of action because sitting there tossing it up and down wasn't going to solve anything and perhaps Penny needed time to process it.

In the meantime she could read the first Harry Potter book. At least then she'd have something to talk to Alana about on Wednesday, assuming their lunch date actually happened, it'd keep her mind from wild fantasies about the two women she actually wanted to be with, for now.

***

Penny was in a contemplative mood that Monday night as she settled back in one of her couches and stared out over the lights of Melbourne. It was a sight she'd grown so accustomed to that she could isolate the outer eastern suburbs without thinking about it. There was a comforting feel to the thousands of pin pricks and the neon snakes wending their way amongst the dots of light, further to the west was a hazy glow as the mass of lights of the CBD converged over it and tonight there was another light show as black clouds hovered over the city, scattering lightning forks as it moved remorselessly eastwards towards Mt Dandenong.

On nights like this she often set up her SLR camera on a tripod out on the balcony and set it to take longer exposures but tonight it was still upstairs in a spare bedroom. The glass of red wine was still almost full and it was not as if she wasn't thirsty or in the mood for relaxing. She was barely even focused on the light show, instead she was ruminating on the last two weeks since she'd first had Robyn in this very room. It wasn't the first time she'd had women here but they had all been in a relationship or quite happily straight.

And that was the difference between Robyn and all the rest. She was the first curious woman who'd been invited into her inner sanctum. Was that it? Penny frowned. Or was there another reason for letting this twenty-year-old woman with sexual identity issues into her life? She had started this the right way, an exchange of ideas, a way to dismantle the walls but it seemed that the longer this went on the more she ran the risk of exposing herself because there was one wall that couldn't be broken down even by the most beguiling woman.

The fear of abandonment.

It had haunted her for years ever since watching the bitter fallout between her father and mother, she had reconciled herself to the past some years ago but she still felt the pain. Her dad had left his kids with a wife who relied on maids to help raise her children. Her mum had certainly encouraged her kids, but she could not recall many occasions when she showed physical affection. It was maids and babysitters who did that whilst she went about her duties. When she did sit next to her she was either given a book or an educational toy, it was her dad who let her ride on his back. Her mum was always too worried about causing a stocking run or staining her clothes, although she was quite happy to stain her fingers with nicotine.

After her dad moved out, her mum did attempt to be a mother but by then Penny was fifteen and a month away from turning sixteen. In her mother's eyes she was not a teenager but a mini version of herself and so she hired a fashion guru, not the one she was fucking but the other one who loved men as much as he loved clothes. With his help, her mother had bought clothes that would make her child shine, it became something of a regime, with Horace taking great delight in choosing the right outfits. The regime even extended to her school uniform, she wore a freshly pressed school blouse and skirt every day, her shoes polished to a high shine.

It had only stopped when Penny turned eighteen and moved in with her father because at least there she could put on Ugg boots and put her feet on the couch. She resented his new wife, not the maid he'd run off with but a new one from the Western suburbs who thought all her Christmases had come at once but at least she was down to earth. It was there that she first began to openly bring women home and at first she'd been the lush, the one who could spread her legs easily. In that way she was very much her father's daughter because in his youth he'd been a ladies man and if not for the potential paternity suits he would have just kept going.

Penny picked up the cafetière and studied it, recalling the way Robyn's eyes had lit up when she first tasted the coffee. Would they light up the same way when she entered her? What about twelve months down the track when she discovered that her girlfriend was more comfortable on her own than with someone else?

Intimacy. Penny stared at the title of a book she'd picked up earlier in the day, letting another person see your nakedness, whether it was physical, emotional or spiritual. You had to bare yourself to the other and trust they would respect your nakedness and expose themselves to you. Which brought back the fear of abandonment again, her oldest and darkest fear.

You're over thinking it, she laid down on the couch and closed her eyes, stop trying to control everything.

Penny was able to control a lot of things. She was able to be out of the office and still organise her staff from the comfort of her home office, thanks to modern technology. She lived with emails, text messages and phone calls, both private and conference calls. She'd literally started work at 8:30AM and only stopped at 7:00PM, one and a half hours after everyone had gone home. Tomorrow she'd start late, 9:00AM and work until 4:00PM and by Wednesday she'd be back to her normal nine to five routine.

Her last thought before she turned out the main light and headed up to her bedroom was the idea of including a card with the cafetière but what to write? However her dark mood lifted the following day as she settled down to work from home, calling clients to discuss their cases and then relaying those instructions to her staff at the office. She had to take short breaks periodically to speak to the guys installing the climate control system. It was only as she sat down to reheated chicken korma that she finally found the words to write to Robyn on onion-skin paper.

Dear Robyn,

I thought of you when I found this cafetière and I must confess it's not the first time I've thought of you in the last few weeks. My mind has been somewhat muddled and for one who can write pages and pages for my clients I find myself a little lost for words. All I can say is that my door is open and there is always a place by my fireside for someone as brave and principled as you.

Your Friend,

Penny.

XXX

***

Robyn looked over at her phone as a new message came in. She read the name and smiled as she put a bookmark into Alana's copy of The Philosopher's Stone and opened the message.

Alana: Hope your day is going well. Looking forward to lunch tomorrow.

Robyn: Me too. Three quarters of the way through the first book, it was a bit slow at first but I'm starting to get into it.

Alana: That's why I gave you book two as well, some people are put off by the first one.

Robyn: Yeah, I can see that. Speaking of lunch. Where do you fancy going?

Alana: Not fussed, you choose the restaurant.

She was just about to reply when the phone rang and she answered it a moment later.

"Helen, what's up?"

"How are you?" Helen asked.

"Fine, just on a lunch break and reading Harry Potter," she looked down at the book, "Alana lent me the first two books."

"Cool," she replied, "so, I'm not disturbing you?"

"No, no, I've got another fifteen minutes to go," she leaned back in her seat, "Alana's just texting me now so if the phone beeps it's my phone not yours."

"She's a friend, right?"

"Yeah," she pursed her lips, "although the jury's out at the moment."

"What do you mean out? Have you had a fight?"

"No, no, nothing like that. We've arranged to have lunch tomorrow to talk about Harry Potter, but I get the impression it might lead to something else in the future... but we're not there yet. Right now I'm just enjoying being single and getting to know women, it's a strange new world."

"Just be careful you don't get hung up on one particular woman," she warned her, "I've been there before and they can give out all the signs in the world but when it comes down to it, they're never going to go further than friendship."

"Point taken," she frowned, "and I'm not looking at it like that right now but let's just say that the jury is out and besides, I've got new friends at Penny's group. If Alana just wants to stay friends then that's fine, I can always appreciate new friends," she leaned forward.

"But why are you calling me?"

"Oh, um... I was thinking about that sewing machine I sold you."

"Uh huh."

"How'd you like to make up some curtains for me? I'd pay you for them."

"Hmm," she frowned, "I'd need to speak to Cindy first, it's not like I don't want to earn a bit of extra cash but I'd need advice first."

"Of course, of course but you could do it?"

"I guess so, but I'm not promising anything, understand?"

"Yeah, sure. So... could you come out sometime this week to measure up?"

Robyn hesitated as she thought quickly. She was due to go to Penny's on Thursday night, and she wanted to leave Friday night free, just in case something came up. Wednesday, she frowned. Erin had the day off tomorrow because she was working this Saturday.

"How does Wednesday sound?"

"This Wednesday?"

"Yeah," Robyn replied, "I'll grab the tape measure from home tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, you can stay for dinner if you want."

"Maybe," she frowned as the text came through, "let's just keep it open. I've got to read this text from Alana, so you take care, okay?"

"No worries. Have a good afternoon... text me if you can't make it."

After she'd farewelled her she read the text from Alana.

Alana: How about that café in the arcade near your work? I've had lunch there a couple of times in the past.

Robyn: That's where I am right now. No worries.

***

Helen glanced over at one of her coworkers, Lisa as she wrote down the phone number for Alana's workplace. She'd been busy all morning and had just finished lunch herself but after hearing about the lunch date with Alana she'd realised she needed to take action. If it was one thing she couldn't risk it was the chance that Alana really was curious because that would derail her plans. With that in mind she'd found the number in the Yellow Pages and now she needed an excuse to step outside and make a private phone call.

"Lisa," she closed the phone book, "I've got to make a personal call."

"And?" Lisa stared at her.

"The conference room?"

"Sure," she shrugged and looked down, "whatever."

Helen thought quickly as she stepped into one of the meeting rooms a minute or so later she dialled the number on her mobile. It was Erin who answered the phone and Helen put on a stern voice.

"Hello, it's Constable Jones from Maroondah police station. Can I please speak to the manager?"

"I'm afraid the manager isn't in today," Erin replied.

"Who is your manager, young lady?"

"Alana McDonald. What's this all about?"

"I'm afraid I can't disclose that information. Is there a way of getting in contact with her?"

"Um... I'm afraid I can't give out that kind of information."

"Are you aware of the penalties for obstructing a police inquiry, young lady?"

She waited for a few seconds and then Erin inhaled sharply.

"Sorry, sorry, I'll just get the phone number."

Once she had the phone number she hung up and fetched the White Pages from the meeting room next door to find the address, she found it easily enough and she wrote it down. By the time she left the office that day she'd already decided on a plan.

There was no way Alana was going to make that lunch date, come hell or high water.

***

Alana lived in a quiet street in the outer eastern suburb of Blackburn. The house behind the white picket fence looked like it was worth a bit and Helen's eyes narrowed as she drove past slowly. The Toyota Celica was in the driveway and the front light was on. The dashboard clock read 22:30 and she frowned as she kept driving. For her plan to work Alana had to be in bed and so she turned left at Maroondah Highway and headed into Mitcham. The local KFC would serve as a convenient spot to sit and wait it out without drawing attention to herself.

It also gave her time to revise her plan because nothing could be left to chance. If there was a flaw then she had to find it now and either remove it or abandon the operation altogether. She doubted that Robyn would be able to trust her if she found out. She stared at the hunting knife on the front floor. Granted it wasn't illegal to have a knife in the car but what she was planning on doing with it was illegal and all a cop had to do was pull her over for a random breath test and see it, but the knife was needed. She touched the screwdriver and closed her eyes as she went through the plan step by step and when she was satisfied she went in to order some Kentucky Fried Chicken.

All she could do now was wait.

However when KFC closed at eleven o'clock she went for a drive for over an hour before returning to Alana's house in Linden Street and parking some three doors down she scanned the nearby cars for signs of life. There was no one and the lights in the houses around about were all off.

She picked up the matches and knife, and pulling the hood of the hoodie over her head, opened the door and stepped out onto the deathly quiet suburban street. A dog barked from some distance away as she made her way to the gate and unlatched it. There was a slight creak at first but then the gate swung open noiselessly and she stepped onto the driveway.

The car was not far from the gate and she made her way over to it and turned to examine the house opposite. There seemed to be a dim light coming from somewhere inside but after staring at it for a few seconds she realised it was the flicker from a television screen. She turned to look at Alana's house and held her breath, trying to pick up any noises but there was nothing and she squatted down and took a stubby screwdriver out of her pocket. The valve cover came off swiftly enough and she pushed the screwdriver against the valve and was rewarded with the hiss of escaping air.

However, it took much longer to let enough air out of the tyre for it to balloon outwards and she had to stop then when she heard a car coming up the street. Helen hurried to the front of the car and hid in front of it until it had gone past and then she sneaked back with the knife in her hand. Her mouth was dry and she looked around once more before taking the knife out of the sheath. She put the point against the top of the tyre and a moment later rocked forward.