All Comments on 'Work Party for Two'

Your writing could be smoother. The story was unlikely, but that's why it's called fiction.

Nice finish though.

Sad.

Revenge was awesome.

Company ( Friends) we surround ourself with is so important .

They can ruin us or make us

Cheers !

I never read the original so I can't comment on that, but I'd class this simply as revenge rather than BTB, either way I quite enjoyed it. Of course I had to completely switch myself off from reality as this was generally so far-fetched it was rediculous. The author did warn that as its fiction he could make up anything, I guess I just didn't think he'd go completely over board.

It was cruel and quite sadistic but in truth I believe its what most men (and women) would want to do with people like Ginger and Jeff, sadly in the namby pamby world we live in they would probably just be given a slap on the wrist.

A fun read despite the subject and possibly because it was so over the top.

Sociopath rather than psychopath. There is a spectrum to the disorder and main character was fortunate to have the ability to love.

For me, the revenge was not over the top.

Five star story.

Thanks

The unbelievable part is a rich world class surgeon wanting a Toyota.

That's why they make Mercedes.

What an awesome story, good job.

I had no problem with him getting violent revenge on the rapists, but his elaborate plan to make them suffer for the rest of their lives just ended up ruining his.

If he was really as smart as he claimed to be, he would've quietly abducted Ginger and Jeff, so nobody could link him to their disappearance. He could've then tortured them to death at his leisure and never suffered any consequences for his revenge.

By allowing them to live and testify against him, he was forced to spend ten years in jail away from his family, and his poor wife suffered for a decade without him.

His father was wrong... Bob was the dumbest guy in prison.

I really liked it. Surprisingly because I hate rape stories. Like I really fucking hate them. Thank you for not describing it.

Hideous. This has no place on Literotica, or anywhere else, for that matter. Seek therapy. You're a sick puppy.

Loved it. Original no longer available or a "page not found" message.

But did not need it. This story covered all the bases. Well done.

Great way to start the day. So many stupid “cuck” stories lately, good to see what a real man will do to protect his family. Thanks 5*s

story was mostly ok, i liked the setup, the revenge and the ending. could use some proof reading, had a fair bit of typos. the main thing I didn't like was Brady. A genius millionaire with a big d and the world owes him favours makes for a story that's too convenient and boring.

Pity they removed the original story. Thanks for the story.

He has given countless hours to the poor without one expectation pavement.

The only time in my life that I ever expected pavement was when I fell off of my motorcycle when I hit the front brake instead of the rear one. Now payment, that was another thing.

NOPE

Wow. 5*

5***** for a strong anticuck story. Loved the severe burning of those two bastards.

Would have been a much better story with proofreading. Enjoyable nonetheless

A reasonable story wrapped up in messy writing. You change tense and POV all over and several people change sex at the drop of the hat... most notably his daughter was he then she then he again. And why did she leave? I thought she was living with her grandparents. There were plenty of examples of confused writing.

/

Not sure what happened to the original, was it removed or is it just a bad link? Cos I couldn't find it I don't know how Tina got into the situation with Jeff and Ginger and that didn't help.

/

Why were Jeff and Tina in prison? For rape and drugging? Having seen the video and knowing they were guilty of that a plea of temporary insanity/crime of passion would have been an obvious call.

/

Having gone through an awful time being raped (and rapped...) she was then abandoned by her husband for 10 years and no one thought to apply for a compassionate release so he could visit to forgive her?

/

All in all a bit contrived for my liking.

Fantastic story!!! I read the original, and it was one of those nihilistic, dystopian endings that piss off normal (and even some abnormal) people! GREAT ending and a truly interesting character!!! Braveaux! 5+++/5!!

Great story. A little bare bones the way you wrote it but original and very well worth the 5 stars I gave it.

Great story! "Dexter" of infidelity.

Not bad. Definitely some hard-core revenge.

Usual convoluted mess one finds in LW. Could have been good but it fell really flat for me.

How does someone with an IQ of 161 write with the skill of a third grader?

Very good story!

That one I really, really enjoyed. That was some fantastic revenge on the rapists, especially the typically arrogant bbc who literally lost his bbc. I didn't mind the happy ending either. Great story, now tell us what happened to the predatory couple on the beach.

Too much narration, too contrived, and as Powersworder says, why not use his genius and money to get his revenge and NOT go to prison?

Link is down to the 1st story & I could not find it.

Dark and moody yet came out beautifully. Omegaman56 you've done a great job to the original story.

Dexter comes to LW , I love it !

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and added to favorites list .

The narrative was a little stunted in the first page, for some reason, then smoothed out. (The last couple stories from you have had the same problem - not sure what changed?) The core story was pretty interesting, visions of "Dexter" on my mind as he worked on Ginger and Jeff. I would have loved more detail as Toni came out of her psychosis, but you told us going in you were limiting the length. 4* overall.

You have the bones of half of a decent book. You’ve alluded to enough backstory to fill out the “nice” part that justifies the story’s existence. You should write or revise the entirety of the original because I think you’d enjoy it. The more you write the better you’ll get; more prolific as well. Swallow your pride and pursue writing as a craft. No one has to know. It’s apparent you have experience and can spin a tale. The nuts and bolts of writing are the only thing you need to master. Your concepts are complex and fleshing them out to the point that the people you want to reach can appreciate them will take more mastery of writing than your young character’s level of mastery of the smartphone. Good luck! I’d love to read something you’ve fully fleshed out and published.

Fuck believable. That was one helluva story.

BTB stories rule.Awesome stories. Most stories are filled with cucks. Good to know there is still quality in btb

Keep it going

Lets hear what happened in Belize.

Wow , dark and serious , but have to love the revenge that lasts forever!

It was gory, but they had it coming. 5*s for an original idea.

Don't mind the BTB stuff, that's fine but storytelling and writing are sometimes incoherent.

WONDERFUL STORY! You are getting better all the time. Those asswipes got their just desserts. Saddletramp, and I are proud of you!!

Very dark but understandable and liked it. *****

I liked it. More power to the good doctor.

Well worth 5/5

Don’t see any issues with what he did. Predators should read this as a future they are going to have. Eventually you will fuck with wrong person. May satan have mercy on your ass, god has already written you off and his instrument to your punishment will have no mercy.

Ginger & Alex are gonna have a great time in their current homes servicing all the other vermin they live with. LP

Wonderful story, told ya you have he gift of writing and you're up with the BEST!! Jeff didn't get his, 'cause Brady cut it/ them out. Ginger should have a baseball bat drove into her peepee. Toni, after a horrifying setback got hers, with her husband, oldest daughter and 2 more kids. She has a third one in the oven, almost cooked! Brady saved a baby son and still works when he wants to, and Blair is a genius like him. Life is good, except for Jeff & Ginger!!

Here is a story about a man who has self respect and isn't afraid to do what a man should do to a predator! 5 stars! Send this story to Big guy 33 and the others who can't seem to write about a man who has balls.

Doctor Dexter, making housecalls.

good sociopath. (yes there is such a thing)

he would be technically classified as a Latient Sociopath, cuz his wife and kids keep him in check.

What, Dlh1433 said...

Here is a story about a man who has self respect and isn't afraid to do what a man should do to a predator!

5 🌟s

FH

That was delightfully disturbing and satisfying!

OMG! Loved it! Continue.....

⭐⭐⭐ You had a good idea, but the delivery was poor. The premises you apply to your MC are numerous and outlandish. Your grammar and spelling leave a lot to be desired. But, please keep practicing.

Totally brilliant story, the revenge is great if you are a psychopathic surgeon, if you are an ordinary Joe, you could achieve the same effect using ketamine and carefully placed applications of battery acid, just a thought.

I enjoyed it, I am giving 5* because of the retribution and the nice ending. Although the description of Gingers punishment made me shudder, I am not usually squeamish, but that did for me.

cut the bitch and bastard !!!

Loved it!! So fucking appropriate!!

👍👍😉👌🙉🙊🙈

It all depends on the jurisdiction. In SF, LA, or NYC, he would have gone to prison. In any place where normal people live, he would have been treated as a hero, and elected the next governor!

ZK

Ginger was a freak toxic bitch

I would have killed Ginger and the bastard.

jopstorm1945

I loved the story. I am a hill William from NC! I kan spel Gooder than thiis!

got a follow up to this. wonder what happened to the older predator couple

Verk dark. But glad he got out and saved Toni. She was the real victim. Hee mind had distorted everything. Ginger was pure evil. At least he reconnected with Toni and his daughter and they had more kids. Tough story to handle. The cracks about different states are stupid. While it might impact how hard the DA pushes fir a conviction, juries are made up of human beings. Lose the toxic politics when you read on this site. Enjoy yourselves and relax. The sniping is childish and utter balderdash anyways.

I liked it. Thanks.

Agree wholeheartedly with the commenter from 3 months ago with post starting with "Very dark". This partisanship crap is killing our proud nation. Previous generations that fought the World Wars would be thoroughly disappointed with us. But hey keep watching the MSNBC crap and Fox News bs until we watch out country tear itself apart. In the world's of the immortal Sgt Hulka from Stripes: "Lighten up Francis."

A good way to get over some of Lit's posting rules, nicely done, I don't condone violence, but you certainly BTB and the B with this one, are you going to be writing a follow up for this holiday?.

Great story with a most appropriate and deserved revenge on the bitch and bastard. He destroyed the bitch by making her a useless ex whore. He took the POS ethnic stereotype’s only asset. Without his 12 inches he had nothing to offer anymore. If victim and their families were allowed to personally punish those who harmed them, there wouldn’t be nearly as much recidivism.

Wow!!! You weave a powerful tale!! Thanks for a really good read.

Now, that's a BTB!

Interesting MC, you should write more stories about him. 5⭐️

Now that's a BTB story. I like the way you think. 5 stars from Xluckylee

Excellent story! Better than any Thriller I've watched in the past 30 years, thank you! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐👌

not just awesome

Fucking awesome.

49.3 stars.

ugh the worst trope in the LW universe is the absurd courtroom cross examination period where attorneys and judges say ludicrous things - like talking about the defendant's penis size, hot clitoral stimulation access, reading Jeff's "prepared statement" and on and on. Oh and in this case the two "victims" are just as much a part of the absurdity - saying stupid shit like "she wanted to know what it was like to have a real man." My god this is SO FKING DUMB.

"You see, Ginger and Jeff fucked up big by rapping my wife, Toni." BUT the way that I learnt it was-

"Rapping" was what Rappers did,

. (chant rhyme in a rhythmic monotone to a Caribbean backbeat), sometimes good, sometimes less so,

. whereas,

"Raping" was what Rapists did,

. and always BAD!

SO, -is the Author trying to tell us that insisting on the correct spelling is intransigent arrogance,

OR that the assailants were deviant musical criminals?

Answers please, one the back of a $10 bill, to Error Tikka, 21st Century Electronic Dictionary Appeal. Lol!.

<><><>

Okay, now that I have read the whole thing, I can see that there IS a cohesive plot underlying it all, but the Author seems to have tripped-over himself in his enthusiasm to get it all written down, and he really does NEED an editor/proof-reader, whatever HE thinks! The errors are prolific! But ANY writer is always the very LAST person to spot his own mistakes, because no mat1ter what the elephant he has written down, he only sees what he had INTENDED to put, and not whatever gibberish that actually DID commit to paper while he was getting carried away!

The mind plays these tricks on us ALL, the secret lies in recognizing that, and doing whatever it takes to work around it! Use an editor! Good luck!

R.S.

It's unforgivable to let Toni suffer without an explanation from the psycho-doc. He had plenty of opportunities to let her know but just blew her off. The guy's an even bigger asswipe than the "rapping" duo.