All Comments on 'Workplace Bet'

of my life that I won't get back.

It couldn't have taken a lot longer to have written it.

Really? Not the story but that someone could be fired for refusing to follow up on a simple bet she made? In what country could this happen? 1*

cuck shit.

Fantasy still has to be somewhat plausible. If someone either fired her or threatened to fire her she would no longer need that job since her employer would now be paying her without her having to work.

The premise of your plot is too absurd to allow the story to be interesting. All this anguish and emotional trauma over a lunchroom bet? You could at least have made the observer an obnoxious Walmart whale, increasing the disgust. The whole story looks like some kind of foil to present a female cuckold story with a lesbian twist. I appreciate the effort, but the execution is lame. Please try again.

That a lot of you wankers don't have any imagination. Look, no where in the story did the girl say the woman was fired directly for her failed bet. Many bosses, once they decide they want you gone, will find any LEGAL thing they can to get you fired. Reading comprehension is your friend. Not only that but this is a dirty story site, ever read a novel that was a little far fetched but still good? *face palm*

Anyway! The story was a good read, keep it up!

first of all a sex bet at work is called sexual harassment. Second he did not have to accept a bet about sex his wife made and he did not have to screw or have sex with Tab as she had no bet with him. For his wife to have made this bet proves she is round heeled slut when she ate Tab. Since Tab entered this so easily she is round heeled slut and they both now need STD testing. Tab saying is coming back tomorrow can lead to her words being recorded the next day and used at the company as part of a suit against her and the company. Divorce the slut she isn't worth keeping. 1*

This had thw making of a potentially good story.

The concept was original for the LW section.

The delivery and writing let the comcept down.

As the 2 ladies kissed the husband should have smelt a rat. This is were the story could have had a twist.

The fact that there was never any bet just a reason for the wife to introduce her female lover to her husband.

Then husband could have worked out the truth that perhaps wifes boss had come on to his wife months earlier and want her husband as well!

Do we know if the wofes female boss is single got BF, divorced, married etc,

what are her future plans for the couple ! ?

Is English your native language? I hope you speak it better than you write it. Just dreadful

The original concept showed some imagination but that's where it ended. If you had spent more time developing the idea with a more plausible situation you might have had a story, but like so many others on Lit, you're lazy and just put down anything.

Sorry, 1 star is about all this is worth.

...but not often. Pretty badly done.

Needs to be fleshed out. You have a good start.

gay and lesbian people beginning to post on 'loving Wives'? 1*

to offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote. And don't BBS us annony, you love gay men!!

Annony you're a talking pile of pig shit 5 to offset your sorry ass.

....but it was so full of broken sentences, misspelled words and bad grammar, it was unintelligible in far too many spots.

Get editorial help, or do at least a halfway decent job of editing yourself (pretty sure it won't be enough) or give up and go home.

Oh, you might try reading it out loud. If it doesn't sound right, fix it.

Anyway great idea, bad presentation.

Thank you.

Refuse all around. They fire her? She sues and retires. A simple I-phone on record would have taken care of all the problems. The writing simple didn't convince me. Too implausible. Bad story.

Tabithas masturbation was cheating on her part. Bet should have been null and void. Then they could all fuck.

3* the whole thing felt a little rushed, but the sex could have been hot. Mainly I think it was just quick, and yeah, a bet could be behind the scene, but not to the level of firing.

Thanks for the offering.

Great idea, but the sentence fragments and disjointed flow really detracted. Reading out loud does help a lot, as does Grammarly. Either way, it's a good idea and I'm sure you'll get better as you write more.

Have a good one

reading Loving Wives comments is like being at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party in Wonderland -- rampant insanity. When I was just a reader I never read comments. I just enjoyed the stories. So do you wankers get off on reading each other's bullshit?

Welcome to the wacky world of Loving Wives; a land populated by some of the best folks around. Unfortunately it also contains some who are so dumb, if you can judge by their comments, that they bang their head in a cement wall just because it feels so good when they stop. Seriously, several of the readers seem so dumb they can’t understand the clearly written statements of what each category is about. Sometimes they remind me of the woman who complained about all the bad language, sex and violence on her DVD player.

You do need to try to make your characters act reasonably in the world you have placed them. You did a lot better on this count than many gave you credit for. Yes, you could have improved, but it’s your story, so you get to tell it as you see fit. I agree, in my world I wouldn’t have acted as the male lead did, but that’s not to say a hundred others wouldn’t have done exactly as he did, especially given the fact he was backing his wife up.

As for those who speak of how this or that can’t be done, I go along with the person who pointed out the wife would never be fired for failing to keep her part of a bet. Instead, just like you indicated the other lady was fired later and you can bet if that was the culture in that office, they would have soon found a legitimate charge they could use.

This is a fiction world, one that says in its guidelines that it isn’t looking for perfection, but for erotic stories reasonably written and they expect you to use this forum as a place where you can improve your writing, with the help of the good people who offer constructive criticism. Too bad all readers don’t spend as much time reading the site guidelines as they spend bitching. KEEP WRITING!

The story started out kinda okay but by the end I felt like it was more of a story outline. The emotional connection to what the characters were doing could be understood but not really felt.

If we would have had to turn a page we would have missed the whole story.

But next time try to expand a bit. A little more about their motivation. Why, in the husband's eyes, was their sex lives so private ? You don't need paragraph after paragraph, but perhaps one or two concise sentences to show his motivation for statements like "absolutely not." Turn it into "absolutely not, ever since you and I got caught having sex in the park and we almost wound up on a sex offenders registry I told you no more videos, no more exhibitionism, no more 'danger sex.'"

That gives us, as readers, a peek into the mindset of a character, makes them more real.

Just my opinion.

I don't ask a lot from stories, but who thought this scenario was remotely possible?

Great story, lots of potential but you missed it or maybe it missed you. Ask for help with editing and delivery. Please don't stop writing now cause I sense good imagination from you. *wink*

A little short, a little stupid, a little bit of wasted time.

pure shit

Short sweet and fun! I hope you come back to writing for us slobs!

Thank you!

Funny