Worth the Effort Ch. 09

Morgan and Jenna looked at each other, then Morgan put a hand on Brianna's arm.

"Thank you, Brianna," said Morgan. "I'm serious. It means a lot."

"To me, too," said Jenna. She squeezed Brianna's shoulder.

Brianna nodded and dabbed at her eyes before responding. "I really came close to losing everything, guys. Katelyn told me I was acting like a total bitch. Even Liv told me off, and you know how shy she is. But the worst was Evan. I love him so much, and when he told me that he wasn't sure about things, about me--" She shook her head. "I felt like someone had punched me."

"It's tough," agreed Morgan. She'd felt just as blindsided after Shane's odd combination of confession and marriage proposal.

"I didn't realize I'd been so awful, dumb as it sounds," said Brianna. "In my head, I was just trying to outdo the two of you, I guess. I don't know why. Insecurity, I guess."

"You don't ever have to outdo anyone, Brianna," said Jenna. "Certainly not us."

"I know, thanks, Jen." Brianna nodded. "I'm trying. Evan and I are going to counseling, for both of us, because we want this to work. And I want it to work with you guys, too. I don't know if we need counseling for that, but I'm willing if you think so."

Morgan smiled and covered Brianna's hands with her own. "That is an amazing offer, but I think we're on the right track. Let's just keep that as an option for now, but I think if we keep being honest with each other, we'll be okay."

"All right." Brianna held up her mug and all three women clinked theirs in a toast. "Now that we have me all settled, let's figure out your problems, Morgan."

"Oh, I'm good. I don't really have any problems." Morgan almost believed it.

Brianna and Jenna exchanged skeptical looks.

"Right," said Brianna. "Like you aren't heartbroken because Sexy Shane said all the wrong things." She winked at Jenna, who didn't even bother to cover a grin.

Morgan jerked her head up. "Sexy Shane? Who told you that?"

Brianna snickered. "Found out through the grapevine. That's a great nickname, though. Does he know about it?"

"Knowing Casey, probably." Morgan gave in and smiled. "She's not wrong."

"No, she is not," said Jenna. "So, let's fix this."

"I don't think there's anything I can fix," said Morgan.

"But you could talk to him," said Jenna.

"I don't know what to say."

"Tell him you love him," said Brianna.

"I already did."

"No, not directly," said Brianna. "You said you were going to tell him, or something like that, but you didn't actually tell him in those words."

"And then what?" asked Morgan.

"Well, then, if he's not a complete idiot, he'll say he loves you, too," said Jenna.

"I'm not sure that matters," said Morgan, and then slouched when her sisters both gave her baleful looks. "I mean, of course it matters, but if he has to get over the fact that he loves me, then I don't know what to do."

"He does love you, though," said Brianna. "That's a good start."

Jenna nodded in agreement.

"It is," said Morgan. "But he said--" she had to clear her throat to continue "--he said it was against his instincts and better judgment. Like he's not supposed to like me, let alone love me. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Was it loving you that was against his instincts?" asked Brianna. "Or the getting married thing?"

Morgan started to answer but paused. "I don't know. Is it important?"

"I think so," said Jenna. "You've told us that he's, um, apprehensive about getting married, right?"

"Oh, yes," said Morgan.

"Then I'd lay odds that's what got him upset," said Brianna.

"Maybe." Morgan shrugged. "Maybe it's for the best that it ends now."

Brianna shook her head. "You don't mean that. It may be hard to believe, but I saw you guys together and even when I was being a bitch, I knew it was a good thing. Maybe some of it is opposites attract, but whatever it was, you two were good together."

"You have to give him a chance," said Jenna. "Just one more chance, to explain. If you love him, Morgan, it's worth that much, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." Morgan nodded, then let out a rough laugh. "Maybe this time he was actually as bad with words as he always claims he is."

"All right, I think that's about as fixed as this can get for tonight," said Jenna. "I say we watch a movie."

"That's fine," said Brianna, "although I had another idea if you want."

"Sure, what?" asked Jenna.

Morgan smiled. Jenna was always up for something new, always enthusiastic.

"I thought maybe, if you want, you could do our hair and makeup," said Brianna, then ducked her head. "Just for fun, and not if you don't want to. I'd understand if you're tired of it."

"Really?" Jenna clasped her hands. "You mean it, Bri?"

"I do." Brianna nodded and ran a hand through her hair. "Go for it. I need a change anyway."

Morgan felt a warmth in her chest as Jenna bounced up to hug Brianna. It was good to have her sisters back.

x-x-x-x-x-x

A few days later, Shane stood around the corner from The Neutral Zone. He told himself he should just go in, but sent a text instead. It would be easier to take rejection from Morgan if he couldn't see her.

They'd exchanged a few texts over the last week or so but neither of them had done much towards talking in person. Shane knew for his part he was both busy and nervous; he assumed she was too. He'd also spent a lot of time thinking of how he could show Morgan he wanted her in his life because she made it better, not because he was afraid of losing her. He thought he'd figured it out, but he wouldn't know for sure until he told her.

Time to take the plunge, he thought.

"Is it okay if I come to the store?" he texted her. He paced while he wanted for a response.

Sure, she replied.Anytime. It's a slow day.

"Cool. Be there soon," he sent back. Before he could change his mind, he walked around the corner and into the store.

Morgan looked up when the door chimed and visibly jumped.

"Hey," he said. Shane took her in: blond hair with blue and purple stripes, wide green eyes, a t-shirt with an anime character on it, the tattoos down her arms. He realized she was entirely his type, and had never been so glad to see her.

"How long have you been out there?" Morgan asked.

"Long enough, I hope, to have worked up some courage," he said.

"We have whiskey in the back," Casey said. "Liquid courage is better than none."

Shane chuckled. "Thanks, but I think I'm good."

Casey shrugged. "Suit yourself." She walked over to the game room, giving them some space.

"Am I that scary?" asked Morgan.

"No." Shane shook his head. "I'm not afraid of you. I was afraid I'd lost you, but I hope I haven't."

Morgan averted her eyes. "I don't want you to stay with me because you're afraid of things."

"No, that's not it." He gave her a rueful grin. "There's me, bad with the words again. Before I say anything else potentially wrong, could you come back to my place with me?"

"Now? I don't know." Morgan bit her lip and he resisted the urge to kiss away her uncertainty. "I don't want to leave Casey alone, and it's too early for her to close up."

"Which is why Josh is coming," said Casey, poking her head out from the other room. "I just called him."

"Did you work this out ahead of time?" Morgan asked Shane.

"I wish I could say yes, that I was that clever, but no. I should have thought about that," he said.

"Don't worry about it." Casey waved a hand. "Go on, the two of you. Beat it."

Shane waited while Morgan gathered her things from the back.

Casey narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't fuck it up."

"The plan is to not do that," he assured her.

The ride back to his house was slightly awkward and a little tense, but he had expected as much. The conversation was short and stilted as they traded news about family and friends. Shane was just glad Morgan was talking to him and took it as a positive sign.

"Wow, you've done a lot," said Morgan as she stepped out of the car. "It looks great."

"Thanks." Shane took a moment to look over the house. "Evan and Chloe and even Mark helped me with the front porch," he said. "Chloe's got a gift for finding things at yard and estate sales, and found that swing and chair. I let Mark paint things, I figured he couldn't mess that up too much."

Morgan laughed. "I guess he's not the handy type then?"

"No, or at least he won't admit it. But come in, please? I wanted to show you something."

"All right." Morgan followed him inside.

Shane led her through the living room and kitchen, where he'd also done more work. It was looking pretty good, he thought, although there were still plenty of things to do.

"Here," he said, opening the door to a room off the kitchen. He studied her as she looked around the room.

Her eyes widened as she took it in. Sheer curtains softened the light that poured into the room. There was a writing desk against one wall and a drawing table against another. A shelf unit held pads of paper and various art supplies. Small framed prints of iconic spaceships hung around the room. It was, he hoped, a room conducive to writing stories.

"What--what is all this?" Morgan asked.

"Do you like it?" He leaned against the doorjamb.

"I--yes, it's amazing. But I don't understand."

Shane took her hands in his. "I thought about us, and I ran the numbers."

Morgan's mouth quirked up at the corner. "The numbers?"

"Yes. I'm bad with words so I thought I'd try numbers. Can you give me a chance to explain?"

"Okay." She nodded.

"I have been scared of commitment for, like, ninety percent of my life," he said. "My parents batted zero when it came to love and relationships, and once I was old enough to understand that, I didn't want it to happen to me. So I held back, even with friends. Probably barely gave fifty percent most of the time. Then I met you, and you just give one hundred percent to everything. It's impressive and a little intimidating."

He paused for a breath, hoping Morgan was still with him. She squeezed his hands in encouragement.

"I'm tired of a fifty-percent life," he said. "My life is one hundred percent better with you in it, and I want you to stay in it. I love you."

"I love you, too," said Morgan, and he felt a weight roll off his shoulders. "But--"

He shook his head and put a finger over her lips. "I am so sorry about what I said, and how I said it. I was trying to tell you how much I wanted you in my life, and I did it in what might have been the worst way possible."

Morgan laughed a little. "It wasn't great, that's true."

"I want to be with you, Morgan. I know there are risks, there are ups and downs, and I'm still nervous about things, but I want to be with you. Not just 'be with you anyway.' I want to be with you because my life is better with you in it, and I need and want to take a chance on that."

"Okay." Morgan smiled. "Me too."

"Oh, thank god." Shane wrapped his arms around her and held her close, then kissed her. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed her until he sank into the kiss.

"Did you really do all this for me?" Morgan asked. She walked around the room, touching the desk, the table, the pictures as though she wasn't sure they were real.

"I did." Shane nodded. "I wanted you to want to be here, too, and I figured you'd need space to write. I admit I was trying to sweeten the deal a little." He sighed. "That sounds awful."

She circled back to him. "The room is wonderful, but that's not why I want to be here."

"I figured the new coffee machine would up my chances, too."

Morgan laughed and shook her head. "You really were trying to stack the odds in your favor, weren't you?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I couldn't help it. When you left after we had that argument, or whatever it was, it really, finally hit me that I was alone. For a long time I told myself I was good with that; less risk, less hurt." He shook his head. "But I was wrong, and it took coming close to losing you for me to realize it."

"At least you did," she said, and took his hand.

Shane tugged her close and rested his forehead against hers. "Sorry it took so long. I know I'm a lot of effort."

She smiled. "I told you, you're worth all the effort."

"I am so glad you think so."

Epilogue

Morgan looked in the mirror and tugged at her dress to straighten it.

"You look fine," said Jenna. "Stop that, you're going to rip a seam."

"Do I look okay, really?" She was wearing the bridesmaid dress she'd bought for Brianna's wedding. It left her arms bare, and she was having second thoughts. Maybe she should have gotten a jacket or shawl.

"Morgan, no one here cares about your tattoos," said Brianna. "And I'm sorry I was such a bitch about them."

"Thanks, Bri. But that's over and done." Morgan smiled.

"You look great," said Jenna. "Green is a great color on you."

"Thanks."

"Okay, I'm going to go check on the food," said Brianna. "Jenna, can you check on Astrid?"

"I'll go check on Casey," said Morgan.

She found her friend in the breakroom, which they'd converted to a dressing room for the day.

"How are you doing?" Morgan asked.

"I'm going to fucking puke," said Casey. "I can't believe I'm this nervous. Shit."

"Relax," said Morgan. "You'll be fine. You look terrific."

"I don't know. Maybe I should have worn a dress." Casey wore a red pantsuit with a floral design that her mother had made. It was based on a traditional Chinese dress, but Casey hated dresses, so her mother had adapted it.

"No," said Morgan. "You always said dresses were a tool of the devil."

"Well, they are, but if Astrid liked that better I'd--"

"Casey," said Morgan firmly, putting her hands on her friend's shoulders. "Stop it. Astrid would love you if you didn't wear anything--no, stop--and she'll love you in a pantsuit. She knows you hate dresses."

Casey gave Morgan a hopeful look. "But if everyone's naked, we'd be reenacting that scene from Next Gen. It'd be, like, minimalist cosplay."

"Too late, we're all here and dressed," said Morgan.

"Damn."

"Case, it's going to be fine. Twenty minutes from now it'll be over. You'll be married and we'll be eating the food."

"Jesus, don't say food." Casey closed her eyes. "Or I really will puke."

Jenna knocked on the door and poked her head in. "It's time. You look awesome, Casey."

Casey cleared her throat. "Of course, I do. Thanks, Jen."

Jenna grinned and left.

Morgan took Casey's hands. "You do look awesome, and you'll be fine. Just remember, in twenty minutes you'll be married to Astrid. That's what it's all about."

"Right. Right."

"Plus, you are Casey Lu, and you don't get fucking scared of anything."

"Damn straight." Casey took a deep breath. "Let's get this show on the road."

Morgan opened the door and stepped out with Casey following.

They'd closed the store for the day. Casey's half of the bridal party gathered by the counter while the guests were seated in the game room, which had been rearranged for the wedding. Astrid and her half were in the game room behind a changing screen as both brides had wanted to avoid seeing each other before the ceremony.

"All right, let's go," said Casey.

Morgan signaled Vincent, who started the music. She waited a moment, then stepped in and walked to the front of the store where the minister waited.

She smiled as Astrid walked to meet Casey, her baby bump more prominent than it had been a month before. Astrid and Casey met and held hands, and Morgan stepped aside to join the others on Casey's side. The ceremony was brief, but Morgan had time to wipe her eyes discreetly.

"That was nice," Shane said afterwards. He slid an arm around Morgan's waist and snugged her up against him as they sat at one of the tables that had been set up after the ceremony.

"Thanks for all your help." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"No problem." He dropped a kiss on her head. "After all the help Astrid gave me at the house it was the least I could do."

"I'm pleased for them," said Morgan. "They look so happy."

"And you look beautiful," he said.

"You don't have to flatter me," she said, "I already love you."

He laughed. "Lucky me."

"Damn straight, as Casey would say."

"Will you stay with me, so my luck doesn't run out?" he asked.

"Stay with you?" Morgan sat up, puzzled. "I wasn't planning on--" Her eyes widened at the small box he held out to her. "Shane, are you asking--"

He glanced around and kept his voice low. "Sorry, I just couldn't wait any longer. I am asking you to stay with me. I'm not really sure what that means, exactly, except I love you and want you in my life. I would be happy to keep living together, as we are. But if you want to get married, I will happily marry you."

Morgan wiped her eyes as she managed a laugh at the same time. "And you won't panic?"

"I would only panic if you said no."

She held out her hand and he slid the ring on. "Well, I wouldn't want you to panic," she said with a smile.