All Comments on 'Would You'

Multiple endings don't work well on scoring. I vote for ending 1

Cuck husband gave Greg a get out jail free card, a fucking joke

Garage

As so oftwn happens lack of honest comunication causes huge problems. Ann was a cruel spouse for over a year so it makes ending #3 improbable but I do like a happy ending so I'll choose it for 4 stars.

Being a sucker for happy endings I liked #3 as the best ending. Real true honest communications would probably have solved their initial problem without all the drama but maybe not.

That was a fun read. I would have preferred a mix of 1 and 2 (revenge and romance) based on how the wife acted in the first part of the story.

Ending #3 is silly, sappy and unbelievable. Ending #1 is probably the best, but #2 the most probable.

enjoyed the alternative endings

thank you

ninguno es bueno

I’m a sap for a happy ending, so I’ll take door number three Monty.😀

Thanks KS

Noneof your endings. The best of all would have been. TO SHOT the pair of them.

Ending number three

I didn’t like any of the 3 endings.Maybe if you combined two of them. I would have burned her and Greg, explored my options with Linda and wonder if she’d offer to let him help her with her business. And they’d live happily ever after. Yeah, right!

Editing! I know this is old, and Slirpuff may not even be around. but dialog punctuation is awful, and changing POV mid-sentence and mid-paragraph is for shit.

Between two stars and three. There were just too many blemishes throughout the story to count and relate here. I settled on two stars. It got so bad I Skimmed a lot, trying to see how the story turned out.

JPB

That's trying to "please all of the people, all of the time" writing. Just pick an ending YOU like and accept there will always be pissing and moaning in the Comments section no matter your ending or your story. That's just how the commentators roll. I hated the three endings but the one where he screwed her and Greg was by far the best.

Ending 3 thank you very much

quote: As I was packing his kids came into the room. unquote

This excerpt sums up your writing abilities.

Meh, while the most tragic, ending #2 is the most realistic when she shows no remorse and comes at hom with such attitude. Dad but the expected result. Ending #1 was trite and unemotional. Ending #3 was nice, but didn't make much sense and was quite improbable? Anal first time? Guess Greg was small and she felt guilty. Hard to believe her though they bot cheated and she was remorseful.

I prefer ending number three

All 3 sucked. A combo of them would be needed for an HEA.

ENDING 2

Ending one gets my vote.

Ending one was good. Ending two was a man so he'll bent on revenge he lost everything. Ending three seems highly implausible. How could he believe her? Especially with all many months of no sex, for both(?). It just comes off as hard to believe. If they make it to a counselor, maybe. And how is giving up her ass preferable and less of a cheat than her pussy? Wtf? Ending 3 is confusing and not realistic as he has no way to vet the truth of her words. He isn't telepathic. Only confirmable by an outside source. Maybe confronting, extorting, or tricking Greg the asshole. I think the point of #3, was they both cheated one time (allegedly) simultaneously. Ignoring who is actually to blame for the lack of intimacy for many months, the idea was they both got fed up and sought sex elsewhere with their hottid communication. But again how would he (or she) trust her (him) that it was a one time thing (anal for her). Remember they both heard each other.

Thanks for your writing.

Another bad story this author is very hit and miss and more.misses then hits

Ending 1 or 2 I like ending three is such a load of crap I thought you were a better writer than this Ann cheated for ages he did it ONCE Even if I do not totally agree with him cheating after all this time what the fuck was he supposed to do (jaybee186)

Marriage was over for some time. They were at the point where they're just roommates that had kids together. They could just live they're separate lives and cohabitate until the kids are off to college. Don't need a divorce unless you plan on marrying someone else. Plenty of options for sex just make sure you're getting away from the house and you're not rubbing it in each others face. You know, be an adult.

I prefer #3 if it was really only the first and only time with her boss.

Reasonable story but it was spoilt by the numerous changes in context ("our" bedroom or "their" bedroom etc) and lots of spelling and grammar mistakes.

A simple proof read would solve all these and result in a really good read.

So this 'Guy' was eating shit for years from his Wife. She was fucking around for god knows how long and he's sitting there fucking jacking off? So not only is he a Cuckold but he's a Bitch and an Idiot all at once? Well he deserved everything he got

5 stars and i take option 1

Carolynne

Hola, me gustó más el 3 sobre todo porque aparentemente todavía se querían y por los niños, el dos también es bueno y el tres sale por completo de de esta historia nada que ver con el personaje

Well giving the story she was fucking around for the yr he was cut off. So why shouldn't he go after the person that his wife the screwed up their hard one. She deserted him the marriage first

The story is written well enough to read the story to completion. Again the husband is a fool you made him out to be. You really have no idea how tiring it is to see that in your stories. Just how stupid you present him we will not know as you never you never pick the ending.

What is this a choose your own adventure? You should pick the ending not leave it to your audience.

Dont enjoy stories with pick an ending.

2 was totally stupid.

3...yeah riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

PLEASE!!! Try to sepatrate first from third person! "They" when you are referring to "we" or "us." Also, a councilor would be somebody who has a seat on a council, but a counselor would be somebody you talk to, to try to get some help.

Being a family oriented guy I'm going with option 3. Sometimes a marriage just needs a wakeup call!

hell no to #3

Alternate endings should be illegal.

Once again, a fresh look at the LW category. I think you answered your own question posed at the beginning. I also think this was your personal answer to your own question, namely, not getting her pregnant and her finishing school. HOWEVER! Would the fates still have meted out the bliss of the early years? After all, Your first child would not be the one you have!

I like how the author gave the reader the option of choosing the final outcome. Personally, I like #3 as they say the shock and awe brought Ann back to the real world and made her realize that it was decision time, do I throw away the family and marriage and move on or do I try and salvage a failing marriage. She chooses family and the hope of happily ever after. Well done ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Good story, food for thought. I like #3 for an ending. LP

Ending #4

Amazed U can write all the drama & interplay; plz add another story

Keith needs “out” and the story suggests that Linda is next (I hope they communicate….).

#2 and fuckemall.

Meh

3 stars -

NO separation - just a plain simple 50/50 divorce and move on.

It should have happened at or before the end of the first month of no sex. Hell there should have been a lot of talking, discussion, or extreme anger being expressed by both partners, before it got that far.

Ending 2 gets my vote. Fuck Linda and fuck Ann.

Ending 3 would seriously need a rewrite. Ass is somehow not as bad as pussy? And just throw a vibrator on the table and bam, instantly the trust of two people is restored...

SOOOOO many things wrong in this little ditty. Blowing up his wife and getting her fired causes him to pay alimony. An anonymous letter to Greg's wife blows him up. No Judge throws out the lawsuits with an eyewitness. Linda turned out to be unreliable at best, a whore at worst. And your third solution just makes him loom like a wimp. Take custody, the house and 50 percent of everything else and move on without both women.

This story was exceptionally hard to read , primarily because the P.O.V. changed fairly often a couple of times in the same sentence . It makes for an awkward read and takes away from the story very badly ! There were quite a few typos and grammar errors that also played havoc on what could have been a decent tale otherwise . Plus there seemed to be a lack of depth to the characters and so the reader has no emotional connection with them. An authors characters should instill some sense of emotional response in the reader . To have a character that evokes some feelings in the reader is what your ultimate goal should be ! Feelings such as sympathy, joy , respect etc and/or pity , anger, jealousy, etc help form an attachment with the reader . Its desirable for the reader to like or dislike or even hate a character is an authors goal . I’ve read other works by you and you seem to have acquired that goal in most I’ve read , however this one falls short !

Would you? No I would not have. See I married the gf I got pregnant at 18. Thought it was the right thing to do. It was far from perfect but lasted just shy of 20 yrs. I was the bad guy and she was the victim. It wasn't until she got diagnosed with bipolar disorder that my daughters started reconcile with me. During much of the last 20 yrs I've learned to live for me instead of others. Not being selfish just self care. If I feel I'm being disrespected I remove myself from the situation. I've learned to cut toxic people out of my life, yes even family. I've tried to set healthy boundries because life is too short. I love my kids and try to be there for them, my daughters especially, but I'm no patsy. Yes this story was fiction and nowhere close to reality, but that is why I come here. Thanks for posting 4*

Ending two is the only correct Ending.It is obvious Linda has some hang ups,that need sorting before getting heavily into her,if that is what he wants.

No matter the ending, seeing her come out of that hotel room should be the nail in the coffin. I doubt anyone would've believed a spouse wasn't cheating the whole time if they were in the hubby's shoes after the last yr with her. What a selfish bitch and the separation papers shouldve woken her up to save her marriage.

BULLSHIT ON ALL THREE ENDINGS.

"You were the one who moved out of our bedroom not me." BULLSHIT, SHE MOVED OUT TWO YEARS AGO EVEN THOUGH SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED.

GRAMMAR AND TYPOS ARE JUST INTOLERABLE.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE, LEARN HOW...

"You were the one who moved out of our bedroom not me." BULLSHIT, SHE MOVED OUT TWO YEARS AGO BUT STILL SLEPT IN THE SAME BED.

ALL THREE ENDINGS SUCK; SO PATHETIC.

AND THE TYPOS AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES ARE JUST INTOLERABLE.

once again it is: ZEROZEROZERO....

2 stars - the complete lack of love, sex and disrespect between them, that early in this marriage, guaranteed the eventual divorce. The only discussion would be the children's care & welfare

4. And I prefer the first ending.

It's an okay story, but the premise is busllshit. Like actually inaccurate. She had her first child very young. That's the only way to do it. Women have a very very slim time table to have kids. Her having kids early us how to balance work and family. The other option waiting first almost NEVER works out.

Maybe if she waited 1 or 2 years. That's all she gets. And she still have the same issues. A big time gap on her resume. Truth is women that wait will either fall into one of a few categories. The Rich party couple that winds up childless becuz they waited too long, divorced becuz a marriage is hard to maintain without kids ( if either wants kids they'll feel ripped off) or they sacrifice hard and have or try to have kids in her 30s. The chances are low. Child defects are high. Expensive lab work and medical fees. It's a nightmare for older women.

love the second ending she was cold bitch

Still don't care much for this particular story, but after reading again I like #2 option better. Burn it all down.

I prefer the reconciliation ending. The author hasn't published anything in a few years so the idiots below who are writing comments nasty comments to the author are bigger fools.

u lived up to your reputation of being a wimpy author... you made three endings... all of which you ' situated the appreciation' to ensure that the real ending never materialised...

the correct ending would have been ending two ..but with him and linda having a happily married ever after and Ann and greg getting fucked in life!

Multiple endings are always a muddled way to close a story, and none of those endings really landed, which made it worse. Committing to an ending has to be one of the key points of telling a good story, this isn't interactive fiction.

Of course he has the shitty RAAC for last so it sticks in the mind, serving as the final ending.

His preferred ending obviously. Though none of them were good, they were all pretty barebones.

Not sure if I'd pick ending #1 or #3. Definitely wouldn't pick #2. I think #3 was more like real life, but #1 would probably be more popular now-a-days in Lit's Loving Wives category.

.

I really didn't. like the way you kept switching from first person to third person. Even in the same paragraph! Annoying. To the Max.

ending #1 seems to be more appropriate. forget and forgive and move on

I liked it but each of the endings seemed rushed and lacking emotion.

Did they never talk? They could have discussed her going back to college long before the issues developed. They both professed love for each other but couldn't sit down and really talk about what was troubling them.

Still preferred the 3rd ending because of the kids. If it didn't work they could split up when the kids went to college.

Give me a break. Pick an ending and go with it. Any ending would have gotten at least a 4. Multiple endings always get a 1, woud be less but they don't allow negative scores.

not sure how to rate it. Not a fan of multiple ending stories. The ending makes or breaks the story. I really have trouble deciding a score because of the options presented.

Option 3 sucked!!! Ann let Greg screw her ASS, and that's less cheating?? BTB!!!

Story was fine but the grammar and spelling mistakes take the edge off.

#2+

Gives her boss Greg her Ass over her Pussy and that's suppose to some how lessen what she did? Sheesh, talk about using bizarre pretzel logic to some how justify her actions with her boss Greg.

The marriage has been over for some time. Just give it a dignified burial and move on with life because its too damn short.

He really shouldn't think twice about it. Take option two, find a better woman and Linda isn't that woman.

David, the eldest child of these two pathetic parents, is the only character in this melodrama who merits any sympathy or consideration. There is no way he is unaware that his mother holds his birth responsible for her dreams in life having not been fulfilled. He is no doubt aware that his father wishes he had worn a condom on the night his eldest child was conceived so that his married life would not have sucked quite so much.

These two selfish and immature pseudo adults should never be approved to adopt a pet much less raise children. David likely is destined to suffer from poor self esteem, recurring bouts of depression and some form of substance abuse. Odds are poor he will be able to maintain a stable marital relationship himself or be an effective parent.

The sins of one generation truly are paid for by the next.

No. 3 ending is what I like best. I do believe in forgiveness. Communication is best most of the time yet time is best sometimes.

It goes from "I" to "Keith" then into Ann's mind... That's careless, and detracted from an otherwise good story (one of the three endings would have been better).

Three endings and none of them were satisfying.

Ending two was the most realistic and would've been good except for the kids and Linda hating him for getting some payback on Ann. If Linda wasn't supportive... good riddance. Her lack of contempt for cheaters means she's a very risky proposition.

What makes no sense is the kids getting angry at their father. Their mother was basically an absentee parent, the selfish bitch was totally self-absorbed with her career and her affair. Children aren't stupid; they know he's the loving parent and their mom doesn't give a shit about them (because she secretly resents them!).

The kids would pick the father to stay with in a heartbeat... and would be angry at the mother for:

1) Abandoning them for the last two years.

2) Hurting their dad who they're closest to out of both parents.

3) Destroying the family.

The most likely outcome is that the fit, handsome, successful husband would find a younger replacement for his selfish old slut of a wife. The kids would get even closer to him and their step-mother... until effectively becoming estranged from their career obsessed mom. I say this, because I've actual seen this play out for real.

Ending two is the most likely of the options.

You write excellent stories. But the editing makes highway pile-ups and train-wrecks look pretty. If you decide to change Point-of-View (and let's face it: you shouldn't: mixed first and third person stories are beyond lame) then at least be consistent and change throughout. Hint: Search on personal pronouns and check if they are appropriate. A 3rd grader can do it.

The best typo I've read in one of your stories; "The two of them made me a cluck and I wanted my revenge; and that's what I got." I just haven't quite figured out what a "cluck" is. Signed: BTW

Very much like the last couple I read by you. The wife's carreer takes a life of it's own. If I have to choose endings it's 312.

3 Endings? Really? I would pick Option 1 with him getting the kids and house since she travels so much. And Greg's wife would have found out anonymously about her husband. That is a definite no matter what ending would be picked...

three endings and there was something to dislike in each of them. lol I'm still puzzled at why the kids would be upset in ending 2. The mom was a basic no-show.

Weird mixes of points of view with awful grammar. When will you learn that 'your' is not the same as 'you're'?

and you can lose 4 times, TK U MLJ LV NV

Keith is telling the story, and suddenly we know what she's thinking. He doesn't know, so he can't tell us.

Lord, this thing needs editing. Otherwise it's ok

Is great except for Linda. Why in the world would you write her out?

The question is why would I care about them. So if you didn’t write an ending to Mis-mos of words I don’t care either, only wasted my time when I could have read another story.

Ending one is the correct ending.She is nothing but a selfish bitch.

It's a tough road, but maybe they both get to grow up a little.

I think the story accurately captured the anger a woman sometimes displays. She won't explain herself and continually ups the steaks in an argument neither of them can win.

Nor.my.favorite, but I'll go wirh option number three providing Greg's wife is let in on the aecret.

Slirpuff

I found your tale Ok but for a few irritating things. Firstly, there were so many spelling bobos that I gave up counting. A person submitting work should take pride in their creation. With commonplace technology such as spell-checking there is no reason for shoddy material. Someone else reading your draft is also a good way of weeding out those gaffs. Secondly, I'm unsure what you were trying to achieve with your three endings. You are the author/creator...I would have been happy for you to present the conclusion that you felt was the most appropriate.

It appeals to the sick fucks that like 1 or 2 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SLIPUSS.💩🖕🧚‍♂️😎

Ending #3 was complete bullshit. Too much water under the bridge and a leopard doesn't change her spots. Ann left the marriage a long time ago. No way back at this point. She's more like the man in the relationship given the fact that she's WAY more concerned about her job than she is about her family. Ending #2 was wrong. They BOTH had proof. Greg and Linda were witnesses and the motel registration slip would have been enough proof for the Courts that they were BOTH cheating. But the kids being unhappy about their mother rang hollow. She's never around. Why do they care about her? They would have been happy that Dad had money to take them to Disney World and buy them cars when they were old enough. Who cares about a Mother that is never around? And Linda's reaction felt wrong too. Why would she care about him burning Ann to the ground, getting the money and getting custody? She was after the man. And she got him. But if not Linda, then someone else will quickly show up. He's a catch and women know it. Ending #1 was the most likely and probably the closest to real life. Except there's no way in hell he gives Ann the house and custody. Even an idiot lawyer gets him the house, custody and child support. Even you point out that Ann's not around. The Courts don;t care about infidelity. They care about the kids and they would have awarded custody to the parent that cares for the kids. One further thing. You REALLY need an editor. SO many grammar mistakes. Normally I don't care about them but some of your mistakes changed what you really meant and it took a couple of seconds to figure it out. Which ruins the flow of the story.

The first ending is the best.Ending three is a definite non starter.

First, a story with multiple endings try to please everyone but actually please nobody. It's basically an unfinished story. Second, all three endings sucked big time. This story gets a 1* for both reasons.

Not sure which option I would go because sometimes my temper does get the better of me. If Linda wasn't in the picture, option 2 but with her there option 1 would be the way to go. Option 3 might work, but I'd want both of us to take polygraph tests to verify just how much cheating we did.