All Comments on 'Would You'

This probably deserves a higher score, as I enjoyed most of the story. But, I hate when an author gives multiple endings, especially when all three of them are bad. To me, the author has done all of this work to set the characters and their story, so how can they leave the reader to choose their ending. If the reader doesn't like the ending, so be it, but the story belongs to the author, they have the right and duty to end the story as they see their characters and the story.

It doesn't make any difference what Ann says, that wasn't the first time she fucked around on him. It may have been the first time with Greg, but she was fucking someone else for a couple of years. So the best thing is to bury the marriage, and for him to go to someone who really loves him. Thanks for the good story.......Rich

her to begin with. The old you can change to save the marriage is why most divorces occur in the first place. That without the sex with others. Hell, she is doing great just the be walking around.

Some stories of this type do well with multiple endings, but this was not one of them. Because of the multiple endings, the story has no heart. It's everything, and nothing. The endings make it very generic and forgettable. It would have been much better if you tried to make a single point and stuck with it. Also, the reconciliation ending didn't really work, because you had the wife claim she cheated just that one time, and from all we know, that's wildly implausible.

While I appreciate the fact that the author was trying to make everyone happy, making multile endings ruins it even more. IT was a good story by showing how couples can drift apart through the demands of work and trying to provide for their families, you didn't need to add extra-marital affairs into the story. It cheapened the characters actions even more.

One thing is that I agree that multiple endings are fine when other authors do them, each one with his own vision, but for me the author should really know where he is going in the story when he starts writing it, or at least do a rewrite using his characterizations to turn the ending real.

Three different endings suggest that he never decided what story to write... Still I enjoyed the first ending quite a bit!

The two worst things a writer can do are a) switch between past and present tense, and b) switch between first and third person perspectives. This story has both, not to mention confusing punctuation, misspellings, and incorrect word use.<p>And I don't like multiple endings, either.

You need an editor, or at least a proofreader. Switching tenses more than once in a paragraph and using incorrect punctuation for dialogue is distracting. </p>

Second, I know it can be difficult to decide on an ending, but only the first one rings true here. I can't see the husband being suddenly so aggressive (ending #2) after becoming resigned to his marriage ending. And I can't see the wife suddenly being shocked into reconciliation (#3) when separation and and the specter of divorce didn't do it. Multiple endings only really work for me when different authors put their own spin on things.</p>

Bottom line: get an editor and make a decision!

Okay so a writer who I assume has no professional training in writing like 99% of writers on this site and he gets things wrong in terms of grammar and first and second person. SO WHAT? Like most writers here on Lit the writer will learn and with help will get better. The story itself is not bad at all. Would I take the wife back? Not a chance. BUT as soon as my wife started acting differently towards me and stopped having sex with me the red flags would be flying. I would want to know very quickly what was going on I certainly wouldn't wait a year or two years to find out the problem. I would nip the problem in the bud. so to speak. Anyway apart from the writing I thought it was a good story.

Story needs editing,but I liked it.Especially ending #3.Thank you.

take a semester of basic inglis followed right up by a semester of inglis composition, to learn about 'person', narrative vs first person, quotation mark usage, your story line is still no more than the usual tripe fems dish out along the same old lines of slopehead opera serials PLUS you don't know a damned thing about real men, you portray males as no more than a projection of yourself, whether a fem, a bisexual, homosexual or metrosexual.

Unless and until you follow through with those 2 very basic inglis classes you should get over it, move on and get a life - you are most definitely not even a writer much less and author.

I mean this is so fucking bad Its laughable. Most of the huge plot holes existed BEFORE the multiple endings. Grown mature woman or men do NOT go months and months without sex unless something is wrong. Yet this idiot husband never thought of that.

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when the wife is blaming HIM for their first child as if it is some sort of curse or illness... well its pretty much over isnt it?

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There is no way to get around that. No amount of whining pleading praying to go appeal to Obama etc is going to chnage the fact that she got pregnant and had thier 1st kid before she graduated.

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so why spend years and years thinking about it?

....what they all said!

liked story for most part, but pick a ending and thats it. At least you finished it, thanks for the effort and write again.

"The two of them made me a <b>cluck</b>... "

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"We'll order in <b>piazza</b> later..."

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"I'll take you in a heart <b>bead</b>.."

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You need to re-read it or get an editor. A spellchecker alone is not enough. The use of quotation marls also needs some improvement.

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That aside, I though the story was pretty good. I even liked the three endings.

First of all, your use of three alternate endings made the story a looser. If you can't decide on an ending, then give up writing for a while. Develop a sense of decisiveness before writing again.<p>

Secondly, learn English grammar. Learn spelling, or learn to use a dictionary. In addition, you constantly mix up first, second, and third person in your narrative. Your misuse of quotation marks makes it hard to know what is being said versus what is being described.<p>

You have a long way to go, Slirpuff. A long way!

Why would the two of them have an extra-marital affair the last day of their trial seperation? And for those who suggest that she had been having an affair all along, well, the same could be said for hubby. After all, both of them were fucking around and they were both caught.

That being said, these are two very selfish people. Where were the kids during all of this?

As for the three seperate endings, this is your story...write the damn thing or end it with the two couples running into each other at the motel. Not multiple endings.

First the good stuff. You have a moderately fresh outlook for the genre. Which is very good. So many just regurgitate the same old story line they find all over the net.

Now for the moderately critical view point. In this story at least, the wife is so stupid she shouldn't be let alone near sharp objects. When the husband lays out the problem she has no idea what he has said. Come on, women aren't stupid, don't portray them as such. I'll not get into the plethora of errors. All of which would be caught by an editor. For that matter, if you had taken the time to actually read your own story the problems would have been eliminated;at least most of them.

But do what EVERY DECENT WRITER on these sited does. GET AN EDITOR. If you bother looking you will find Lit offers a list of potential editors.

And no one can write a story and consider it complete before HE/SHE R E A D S their own story. I am positive if you had done so little as set the story aside for a day or two and then sat down and actually READ what you had written you would come up with a worthwhile story. Best yet would be to get an editor. Some use their wife or husband as an editor. Note, most stories have a thank you for the editor they use. Some new writers will contact a writer they like and ask them if they will edit; some will, some won't.

The reality is this hack makes mistakes that a 10 year old should know to avoid. There is a difference between being an amateur writer and being an amateurish writer, and this dunce is WAY over the amateurish line.

For your information English is the correct way to spell the word. Your rant going on and on went from literary criticism to your personal desires in a story. I gave up trying to count the misspelled and misused words in your sentence, some of which were so bad my spellcheck gave up. You are in NO position to correct or complain about anyone's use of English. I deo understand that it is difficult for those writing when English is their third language, but do not dare criticize anyones work while you write as you do.

Jeez thankyou for taking the fucking time to try and entertain us my man and 'revenge fuck' was great I started a little debate with an anonymous 'double standards' comment but this tale ain't got quite that controversy just seen you got a new one out maybe I'm gonna get the first on it lifes a fuckun race innit...Mancelt.

Weak Ending(s).

This is certainly better than your first story. But there are still grammatical issues and misspellings as others have pointed out, and these weaken the story and distract the reader. An editor could easily help in this regard. The three endings are OK -- other authors have done this and it can work. The problem is that none of the endings seems particularly credible. Coincidences happen vis-a-vis both parties ending up in adjoining rooms at the same motel, but it's really a stretch. The first thing that comes to mind for a married individual who sees his/her spouse focusing on work and who is not giving any love to the relationship would be, "Is he/she seeing someone else?" It's not just the lack of sex -- people go through terrible times when a partner is seriously ill, or badly injured, and sex must wait for 6 months, or for a year. The reason is that the love is still there, the idea of thinking of the other individual before one's self. Ann's behavior was the opposite; it was clear she was selfish and unloving. I'm surprised a private detective was not in the picture much earlier -- I can't imagine anyone letting a relationship go south for a year or two without trying harder, and earlier in the downhill slide, to do something about it. And I think most other readers feel the same way, based on the comments.

Pick an ending was weak but i Liked all three endings. Rarely do I read a story for spelling and grammar practice, but it does tarnish an otherwise decent effort. If one of the critics would volunteer to edit this author, we might have a budding star.

but each one was severely flawed. Endings #1 and 3 suffers from the perfect outcome trap. Ending #1 Ann goes so quietly you wondered why she bothered in the first place. Why would Ann fuck Greg in some motel on the last day of the separation period if she wanted to get back with Keith? Either her affair with Greg was an ongoing one or Ann is one of the easiest slut around. So Ann had resisted Greg for over 2 years while being away from home for 2-3 days a week? Keith should believe that a dildo replaced him during the separation? The dildo excuse sounds so lame since they have been having bad sex over a 2 year period. Also, the 'I am mad because I never finished school' really do not explain why she would have not pursued completing college if no other reason that it improves her promotional opportunities.She was so hell bent on getting ahead but the one thing that would have improved things at home and work she never pursued. Ending #2 was weak because Linda's response was so extreme. Linda wants Keith but she is put off because he sticks it to his cheating wife and her lover? Was Keith supposed to take crap from Ann? Ann made Keith to be the bad guy with his kids even though she has been cheating on him. Linda did cheat with Keith so she should not be surprised about the countersuit. In fact Linda had stuck her nose in their marriage from the beginning of the troubles. So now she gets cold feet? Keith needed to move on from Linda in Ending #2. Overall, though you write very well.

I really enjoyed your story but the way you shift between persons is really confusing, especially during the three endings. You have to indicate in some way who's doing the talking or thinking.

Thanks.

When I first started reading this one I knew, exactly, what my do-over would be.

Sure glad I went to your other stories after reading the one posted this morning. Loved them all!

But, remember what I mentioned in the private email? Same thing with this story. :)

Write on!

Rich

So I won't even try to cover all the issues. One basic point: please don't try again to avoid your responsibility of making creative decisions by forming "alternative endings"... I can see what you're doing; it's NOT a plus...

I cannot comment logically on this story as I have not experienced it yet. I think that the Ending #1 is very appropriate, but I don't like that kind of selfishness. You need to start fucking Linda, knock her up, and then bring her home to Ann, to like it or lump it! Maybe Ann would then feel the competitiveness from Linda and service your cock a little better, especially with Linda's tummy swelling with your baby in her and your home.

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WROTE THE STORY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT WAS TRUE?? THEN IF YOU WANTED TO GIVE OPTIONS THAT IS UP TO YOU. I BELIEVE YOU WIMPED OUT BY TRYING TO GIVE OPTIONS, MEANING THAT YOU COULD NOT FIND YOURSELF.

someone outside the family did me wrong, even beat me up, my mother and dad and all my family said, "Just forget it don't do anything." It was like I had to stay still and let anyone do anything to me. A few times I got even or defended myself and all hell broke loose. If someone else started the fight or what ever, I was screamed for hurting him. That started me on the road of life with that attitude. Now when anyone does me wrong I get back in the same way the other hurt me. I have had people say that i am vengeful...damn right I am and people made me that way with always standing up for the other person no matter how much in the wrong he was. Well I am not part of the mass. I believe in vengence. I can't understand Linda's attitude I suppose it has to do with all the brainwashing the Christian mass has been fed. It was instituted by evil greedy men in the first place that wanted to gee away for what ever they did. Still a lot of people think this way. " Vengence is mine sayeth the Lord" well mister lord I don't agree with you. It said that God is a vengeful God...well good for him...I'm with him 100% but this lord crap of turning the other cheek is shit. Just do something to me and turn the other cheek. This is not for the writer. I am sure his way way the vengefull way and the other was just to mollify the politically correct little ultra liberals.

The wife, no matter her reasoning, had virtually thrown the husband out of the marriage. No that isnt right she took herself out of the marriage and left him to care for the children and the home. She also removed sex from the marriage. And in the mean time she was traveling all over with her boss and spending the night a times. No job requres a person to spend fifteen hours a day seven days a week. The payscales couldnt afford it. She has lied to her husband over and over and played him as a wimp. And he rolls over and exposes his belly. No woman suddenly stops wanting sex for any reason. Hormonally yes it can slow down and become painful, I know my wife had medically forced menopause. The only reason a younger woman stops having sex or making love to her spouse is because she is getting it somewhere else. I take it back it could also be because of some types of mental illness. This woman has destroyed her marriage and her family and is blaming everyone else for her problems. There is a magic word it is called recycle. Get rid of her and marry a woman that will love you. Simple and clean the husband is the child care person the wifes employment she doesnt want to give up keeps her from caring for the children. The judge would award custody to the father and have the wife pay child support. Simple and easy. I do disagree with him fucking Linda while still married to an idiot, she could use that against him.

While I enjoyed most of the story overall, the idea that he had my ass but not my pussy, is a legalistic cop-out at best. Cheating is cheating you can't sort of cheat.

The three different endings could have been three different stories based on the beginning and middle parts of your story. I have to agree with most of the commenters that this wife quit wanting to have loving sex with the husband long ago. You started off with the "I was not sure that she loved me as much as I did her when we married." That lead me to believe that she was going to cheat in the future. When she went back to work after he started staying home in the middle of your story- that led me to believe that she did not want to spend that much time with him. His attempts at being romantic did nothing to influence her which further indicated that she was cheating already. Her trips and long hours with her boss Greg should have been the tip off to the husband at the middle of the story. You threw in cheating by the husband and then the wife at the end. You did not need the alternate endings because you had already solved the riddle. He knew she no longer cared for him and thus cheated. She proved she was cheating at the motel room next door. Too, we all know that the long hours away and trips with Greg amount to cheating the husband whether or not there was sex involved. As you said at the first, he had quit traveling to be with his wife and family. What you failed to put in was that she was just getting started to stay away from him by going to work. Thus his original thoughts were right; she did not love him as much as he did her when they married or after...

the thing with keith, jr, and the meeting are so inconsistent, and her denial of wrongdoing for that long? revenge against greg, with his wife, go through divorce with the split and separate lives, and there is linda. if she did or did not lose her job, that is not in his control. just the fact of being cut off and the hollow protestations was not wanting a divorce? another problem. separate lives and treat the kids well, or as well as can under circumstances

You were doing fine up to the ending. It's your story so you get to end it the way you choose, but the multiple choice option really sucks! I appreciate you sharing your stories with us, but I prefer a real ending, even if it's not the one I would have picked.

Well of all the endings, I like ending #1 the best because Keith ends up with a woman who really loves him for the man that he is. He got away from a woman that had pushed him away for her career, money and power. And the kids seems to have adjusted to the new life. Consequences have to happen when people cheat and think it is OK. All debts have been paid with option #1.

Nothing to consider - option one is the only realistic way out of this.

I've never heard a weaker excute for being unfaithful - haing the boss fuck her ass in stead of her pussy is no different from any other unfaithful act - even worse in my opinion as that requires even more trust in the partner.

I would take Linda, and be grateful every day, that I got rid of the bitch.

I think he should have insisted they sit and talk a few times, even though I think she would have put him off. Was she cheating on him, not necessarily at first but eventually yes. The real answer came by way of you quoting her sexual demands through the wall of the motel, she was obviously very familiar with her lover and doing up her ass wasn't new.

I understood her need to be accepted in the working world without a degree but, the extramarital sex wasn't a requirement so, this was all her...Option #1...!!!

The bitch was cheating all time. No matter what, she HAS to PAY. The only downside was the kids misinformed attitude. Being young and inexperienced in life they can't understand the paid of infidelity.

Years four through twelve were *finically* good but we started to drift apart.

It's impossible to believe that this word was missed by both your spell checker and your editor. What happened?

An interesting story, but you really need to brush up on your grammar and spelling - because the multitude of mistakes in your work was just about enough to make me give up on reading, my friend. So here's a few tips that will help in the future:

1.) Get your tenses right. If you have your story being told in the first-person ("I said", etc.), then make sure you don't suddenly shift to third-person (where you've got a narrator describing what's going on). This means you're going to have to use words like "my" and "our" instead of "his" and "their".

2.) You're is the short version of "You Are". Your is how you spell the word when you're assigning ownership - it's your car, man.

3.) There is to specify an idea or a place, their is to show ownership, and they're is short for "they are".

4.) Woman is used when dealing with one female. Women is the plural form of woman, and is to be used when two or more females are the object.

I know it seems as if I'm nit-picking, but please understand: it's the mistakes which throw the reader off in trying to follow your story line. This means that I (and others, I'm sure) have to continuously force ourselves back into the world you've created with your words. Proper grammar and spelling make this much easier, as the readers no longer have to stop and figure out what you're trying to say.

I won't read this. As an author you need to choose an ending and stick with it.

I chose number 1, but #3 was a VERY close 2nd place.

I would have taken all three endings, but number three was my choice. I guess I had missed this story when it came on to the list initially. Thanks for sharing, Ohio, USA

It's understandable if the reader like me makes an effort and it is often enjoyable still but it would just be perfect if you got this right

"Trouble at home?" Ann finally asked. // (page 1) that's meant to be Linda asking.

It happened in a few other stories. Anyway thanks for the story! :) I hope all's well with your missus and that it's not really that bad when I get to that age! l.o.l

I think it's a cop out to have multiple endings. If the story is well written, there will be one that is better than the others, that makes the story flow better, and matches the personalities of the characters better. If the author knows he's going to offer 3 endings, then he has to compromise in the main story for all three to fit. Which just makes for a poorer story. You're the author, you choose the ending.

You write good tales..but please avoid multiple endings.

Re the endings: #2 is a hissy fit merely, and doesn't follow from what we've seen (except for Linda scrapping him as a vindictive idiot, which he wasn't but supposedly became). #1 is neat and stress-free, an ideal world, wouldn't we all love one like that. But #3 is the one most likely, and the most difficult to write. It's sketched, not written, as we have it, and needs more careful working up, but done right, could tell us the most about marriages, quarrels, and reconciliations.

If you want the story from Keith's POV, write it as Keith, get into his head, and give us his speculations about what's in anyone else's head. If you want also to tell us what Ann thinks, use the third person and do so. But you don't get to use both. Nowhere nohow. Ever.

Your stories are quite good and they deserve a better editor.

Pretty much covers it. If you do not know what is wrong, then there is not enough space here to cover it.

If I had to pick an ending I would pick number 3. They BOTH screwed up. Don't really care though.

You say you'd go back and use a condom if you got a do-over? Does your son know he means that little to you?

the Three senarios you gave this Story.

All of them are good but after hearing my wife who Denied me sex for a Year. Giving it to her Boss I'm sorry but I would have taken them Both Down.

BUT MANY TO LOSE. TK U MLJ LV NV

Don't give a reader multiple endings!

There were so many mistakes in this story I don't know where to begin, you need to stop using multiple points of view because at times you forget who is supposed to be telling the story, you have yet to understand after all the stories you've written that there is the word "too" as in life's too short not life's to short. I enjoy your stories but the mistakes do get on my nerves also ending #2 was a load of crap with everyone hating everyone else.

Overall not your best work and you need an editor to read your work and fix all of your mistakes.

This last Anon sounds perfectly reasonable and even says he likes SlirPuff's

work, but says "after all the stories you've written that there is the word "too" as in life's too short" making it sound as if SlirPuff never improved. Why am I implicating with this? If you check the story he is commenting on, this one, you will find it was the second that SlirPuff posted!! If you look at what he has posted in the last couple of years it as clean copy as anyones!

If you have a story to tell, tell it. When you have multiple endings it's like your giving a multiple choice test. I want to read a story, not take a test. When you do that, it blurs the story. Each ending implies something different to the earlier actions of the wife and husband. This makes them not well defined. You get a story with undeveloped characters with no ending. Which makes it a bad story.

Thanks for sharing.

The characters aren't well-developed, and the story has many holes. None of the endings feel right, but then the story was pretty convoluted.

I hope to God that if you are still writing, that you have a fucking editor! I think this has to be the WORST story I have ever read on this site. 1*

First, he did get her, albeit with attitude, a couple of times to talk and he just gave her attitude and walked.

Second, maybe she was cheating and maybe she wasn't and her attitude would kill any romance or loving emotion.

Third, if he loved her so much he needed to get in her face and tell her they needed to talk and give her his feelings and an ultimatum (with time to think) and withour anger.

So..................

He is quite likely as much to blame as her but I do place the blame on him more. For an educated man, he acted impulsively like a poor confused little boy! What woman needs that?

Fortunately, being as you favored him you gave him Linda and you gave her a married jerk called Greg. Well, they'll always wish they talked and the kids will be the ones to suffer.

Thanks for the read!

It isn't my job as a reader to finish your story, like this.

There were lots and lots of errors, you obviously did not even re read it after you wrote it. That's lazy.

You have good ability to bring the reader in emotionally. The letdown with your could - care - less editing and truely bad ending choices is really quite an insult to your following.

I agree word for word with Troubador's comments.

Ending #3 is the best, IMO. #1 is the 2nd best, though I hate to see divorce.

a one timer vs a multi....no brainer, TK U MLJ LV NV

of the endings were what I thought was coming. Kick out Ann, marrying Linda burn her boss

Marry Linda

Get the kids

Divorce the slut

Tell his wife

Sue him for alienation

Sue the company for allowing the breakup of your marriage

None of the endings worked. Sad.

but as the author it is your responsibility to come up with an ending to fit the world you created. if you can't figure it out you should not expect the reader to do it for you.

up until the end you had a great sotry.

No ending was right. He should have followed up on his wife always working. He should have realized she was getting sex somewhere else. Still a decent read.

none of the endings worked, 1st one he was just like her a cheater. why listen to Linda, in all three she was the one pushing him into things he didn't want. The third was the cuckold edition.

I did not care for the type(s) of ending... I can see the presentation of the Problem was fairly presented.. When I read the author's writings I feel the gravity of the situation... and get in to the depth of the feeling of the main character... Thank you

I am an eternal optimist and I don't believe in cheating. Ann is suffering and she wants redemption and Keith realizes his love outways anything that can be fixed if compromise is on the table. Ann lays out the cards and takes ownership of her feelings and behavior. The that marriage is so hard it should be revered especially when there is love and compromise coupled with communication from the soul. When infidelity is involved it can impair the healing if patterns that led to it in the first place aren't rerouted. Children feel more confident about themselves when coupled with their parents. The feasibility of success is available. The story evoked emotion and purported it prominently for the story to sail through scene by scene. The shipwrecked marriage hinged on Ann's ability to face the reality of her jobs imposition on the marriage family. Ann was at the core of the heart of the problem the left the reader enough smoke to determine that Ann was entangled with Gregg in something outside the boundaries of a normal work relationship. The author gave the emotion of Keith putting his angst jealousy and hurt aching yearning for his family

It's your story so decide what you want and tell it. Multiple endings just make everyone dislike something about the story, not the reverse as you'd hoped.

Wow, three endings and you cant get it right even once? All 3 sucked...

Not sure which ending I prefer:

1. Perhaps this is most probable. Given how far they drifted and what they both did at the hotel, it seems logical they would just end it. The wife's a bitch and he's falling for Linda.

2. This satisfies the burn the bitch folks, but seems a bit forced.

3. The reconciliation angle is nice, but the line about him only fucking her ass is the most unbelievable thing I have ever heard. No reasonable man would buy that. Of course, the information about he holding onto feelings of resentment all these years makes real sense and explains a lot. If he quit her job, he needs to break it off with Linda.

Which one.....

Ending 1 - if you can keep the emotions in check it is the most likely and the best .... If

Ending 2 - the most likely as it is the emotional response most fall into... Sadly

Ending 3 - likely depending on what state - cheaper to keep her though would need to be modified as Linda has a big chance of staying the picture short term ....

Either way, not bad.

You're the writer, chose an ending, feel it and end it. All three endings had certain appealing aspects and aspects that made no sense, given their history. What you REALLY need is a better proof reader. Some of the grammar errors are simple and don't spoil the story. Other errors where you switch words or use incomplete sentences DO effect the way the story reads. BAH!

HELL BOTH ENDINGS SUCKED!

Just found this story and Jesus Christ! does the writing suck. I didn't read the story as much as I rewrote it.

In my opinion, those readers who complain the most about the lack of endings or as in the case of this story, having to choose between several possible different endings. The complaints come from readers who have little or no experience at actually writing and submitting a story. And many are unwilling? frighten? of having to exercise their intellects.

The Ending, that coherently wraps up a storyline in context with the the author's vision, is one of the most difficult acts of writing. Many over-paid, award-winning, popular and published authors fail at this critical point. The advances have been spent, the timeline to the printer is overdue and too many writers just slop on any dreck to get the job done. And then we readers have to pay ridiculous sums for the privilege of wading through mediocrity.

The marriage was dead long before he bumped into his wife at the motel. She had given up on it and moved on. Whether she was fucking her boss or just lost in her own sense of self importance, she had lost all concern for her family. I can understand the lack of passion for her husband after 15 years, but most healthy people develop another deeper love for their family as a whole. Life is not about hot sex and narcissism at that point, it is about loving and nurturing each other. A lot of men are shocked when a woman blows the stereotype of loving wife and mother and reveals herself to be as selfish an narcissistic as any man who spends his time away from his family.

The best ending: Divorce, he gets primary custody because she travels so much, he sues the company - because he can! He destroys her boss's life and marriage - because he can! He gets Linda as a long term girl friend and eventually as a wife. Ann winds up single, fired from her job, with a bad reputation, having to take another similar job at lower pay, living in an dumpy apartment, bouncing from one night stand to one night stand on her business trips. She realizes she is more like a complimentary hotel whore than someone anyone could love. One afternoon after not showing up for a meeting the hotel maid finds her cold dead body and an empty bottle of pills.

Bue I did and was glad that I did. I selected 2 without a thought. His wife had cut him off and had been fooling around with Greg even if it was true that this was the first time they had sex (doubtful). They had been fooling around and she had been neglecting him for a while plus lying and disrespecting him in other ways. No matter how sweet she was after she got caught he could not have taken her back, the kids were already knowing that she was not a real mother, she neglected them, too, all the way. BTB. If Linda won't come back due to him getting a justified revenge, so be it. Good story.

1 & 3 could be ok but I think you did this theme better with "Trying to reclaim my Marriage"

I'd lean toward 1, because there is that long period where the wife basically blew off her entire family in favor of a career based on her bruised ego, but 3 could also work IF you accept her claim that it was her first time with the other guy (they both crossed the same line at the same time).

2 would be the way to go if there were no kids and no Linda.

"As I was packing his kids came into the room."

Should not shift person in mid sentence, really best to not shift in a paragraph.

Your, when you are is meant it should be you're.

god even your multiple endings all suck the monkeys ass self cuck, pussy, or fucked anway because of the other bitch being uppidy...

1/5 for self cuck and since I've skimmed a few of your stories and pretty much all are self cuck -22/5 for you as a fuckin human... please tell me that you did not reproduce and further water down the human gene pool with your squid like dna

Didn't like #2 because he didn't get Linda. I don't know why she worried about his vengeful side - was she planning on doing something to make him vengeful?

#1 probably my favorite, given her travel I don't know why he didn't simply get the house and custody, though it worked out in the end.

#3 ok, but not sure if Greg getting her ass makes it better or worse. Has hubby ever had her ass?

Ann still doesn't get it.

They just need to divorce and move on.

The first ending just wouldn't happen in today's world. It's unfortunate the the second ending could be the one that has more merit that number three. It is number three that i liked better. I am still the type that would like to think were there is a will there is a way.

the first ending was not for me. i would have to at least let her boss's wife and company know about the affair. ending 2 is good but come on. why would his kids be mad at him. their mom was caught sleeping with her married boss. how is the divorce the dads fault. if linda had problem with him suing his ex's company then he is better off without her. if she has a problem with him paying his ex wife back for cheating on him then she doesnt see cheating as being all that bad. the third is shit.

Ending number 1. Really? He just walks away? And then he gets the kids? Even in fantasy land that doesn't happen.

Ending number 2. More plausible except he did have physical proof. Even an idiot lawyer gets the check-in information from the motel they were in. And security video probably would show them entering the room. Then he would have required the testimony of Linda. Greg, and their co-workers and under oath they all would tell the truth or risk jail time. Of course that burns him too. But that that gets him the divorce, probably gets Greg a divorce and definitely gets him money from the Company. If Linda can't see her way though the mess, then she wasn't the right woman anyway.

Ending number 3? Worst one of all. Given the way you wrote the story and his character, why would Keith believe a single, solitary word coming out of her mouth? She had ruined their marriage by her actions and nothing would have changed his mind. She was a cheating, manipulative slut. Sorry, but this was just a terrible story.

I don't understand Linda's disatisfication with Keith's revenge. Her labeling him as "vindictive" indicates her feeling weren't all that deep

Just to say...Only end 2 has any credibility...only with that ending it would have been 4*...With these 3 endings it's only 3*...For me the writer has the duty to choose the ending...

oh how happy we used to be. TK U MLJ LV NV

is the most likely ending, though I can't understand why Linda would want to interfere. No 1 is a second.

Multiple endings get u jack shit my friend pick an ending yourself

get a fucking editor.

You need to get a better editor. Now, I'm aware this was from 2009 but still. You kept going back and forth between 1st and 3rd person view. It wasn't just a minor occurrence either. It was constant. One minute, this then the next, that. It was annoying.