All Comments on 'Wrong Address'

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Fun, quick story. Mostly well written. Two things - people shouting, "I'm coming!" over and over again in stories is annoying and takes me out of the moment. It's waaay overrepresented in porn. It's far sexier to describe orgasms instead of telling us they're occurring. Lex calling Lane baby constantly also took me out of the moment. They literally just met. 3*

5 Star. Good story, believable and concise, keep writing, your talented.

I have comments similar to Anonymous #1 below. Show, don't tell us when someone is coming. Screaming they're about to come and that they've arrived is so lazy and not sexy. Whenever I see, "I'm cuuuummmmiiiing!" I hear it in Oprah's voice like when she makes a big announcement. That's not a slam on Oprah, but it's probably not what writers envision when they throw that overused trope out for us to roll our eyes at.

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Lex just met this dude and she's calling him Baby all the time. It totally takes me out of the action.

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Speaking of just having met and action, where are the condoms? This story isn't high fantasy or anything. The plot and the characters are firmly in the realm of reality. That would (hopefully) include condoms. Their use would not detract from the sex at all.