All Comments on 'WSIM24B Ch. 06'

I'm sure not happy about them killing Erika, but this immediately reminds me of the huge ambush in Notomol, where all the action really started picking up in the entire selection of stories. Erika was completely right, and while I'm certainly glad Thorn trusted his instincts enough to avoid getting murdered, I really wish he could have saved her; the worst part is there was nobody close to Erika's skill, her composure nor powers of observation. However, for some reason, you clearly had a reason for doing this and if there's anything that can turn Thorn to be more asshole, it's this. This is also probably the one time I really approve of a cliffhanger because there's really no other way to end this.

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You've certainly planned some type of huge mystery, and I wonder how you're going to unwrap it in terms of how he's going to be able to figure it out--and he has not exactly been as observant on his own that reassures me he can make it off this planet by his own wits--unless he somehow does manage to get help OR he somehow ends up being marooned there like Cook was in Westrons. If you do plan to maroon him there, then it will be incredibly similar to the aforementioned title, and put him in a similar bucolic planet that is severely technology limited.

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Whatever you have planned...I'm VERY eager to read about it, because right now I don't know if anyone has an idea how this could play out at this point. 5

Killing her was as bad as Lujdvit (sp)

I hadn't come to be as invested, but still sucky, sucky, sucky!!!!!!

And no one will write a ballad for her...

Well, as the saying goes; "That escalated quickly". Great story. I hope he murders them all most thoroughly.

As others have already noted, really sucked that Nika was killed. It should inspire some formidable revenge scenes.

5/5

J

Thorn connects with the locals learns the generals are plotting unrest to take over themselves. United the people and gets his revenge for his friends murder all before leaving and reporting everything. The generals wanted their own nation and world to shape. The question is how did a habitabke class M world get overlooked. Three answers .. ferraforminv and seeding, or wormhole. Or lastly... Time travel

And this is where he retires as well. ;). Not soon... But once his missions are done. Saving the location just for himself to protect the world he loves.

Damn it, not Nika! sigh...ok, this is an awesome tale. 5 star in spite of the fact that I really liked this lady.

Well, GOD DAMN IT!!!

.....5 stars again.

Nooooo . . . I liked Nika! I hope he remembers to ditch the tracker. Maybe this world has magic and can save her? Really enjoyed Westrons, so very much appreciate this one, too. Thank you for sharing your creative talents with us.

This story is turning out very dark... I'm sorry to see Erika die.

But your writing is so great, especially in sci-fi contexts (although I live your down to earth stories).

I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter:)

Great Story! Please don’t let us wait too long on that cliffhanger. Compliments from a German Fan!

Bummer about Nika. I liked her.

Im getting the sense this is going to be a lengthy series. Lots of twists and turns. The hints about his relationship with Lori not working, and that they realized it years later, suggests we’ve still got a bit of a journey…including a return to WAFOTA (or at least that planet/city).

Seemed like you also planted a seed about Rachel in the last chapter. I like her. Hoping she plays a bigger role going forward. Something about the smart girl playing dumb…I dig that. Seems like something Thorne/Mayne/Pilgrim would appreciate as well. Hopefully she lives. I get the sense Nika won’t be the last casualty in this series. The dangers of spy craft.

And of course there’s still Jane. But she reminds me a little of Holly from Devil’s Bargain…great physical connection, but something just doesn’t fit.

Great story. Looking forward to the next part.

okay that was unexpected..I expected a bit more background on the mission, and quickly the game is a foot..

looking foward to the next chapter. 5/5

Oh, and am I feeling the vibe for a time travel pièce?

Now that I think about it, I'm getting partly a John Wayne and Jason Bourne vibe. I get the feeling "Mayne" will come across someone that will say, "don't worry Pilgrim...I'll fix their wagon!!!" ;) Also, I can already picture Thorn wanting to shoot a guy in the head like Bourne did in "Supremacy," but doesn't because Erika wouldn't have wanted him to (although that would have been Marie in the movie). Yeah...no way it ends well for those folks that royally slew one he likely actually loved.

Ah the westron way.

Stranded on a planet with no way back

Lost in space.

Oh wow, NOW this thing is getting intense. Poor Nika, I liked her.

Intriguing. Sad to lose nika

As always, this author's talent shines through! A compelling story with great characters and plot development. Most readers probably felt disappointment with Nika's death, but that just shows how much we, the readers, get attached to the characters. Many thanks to AspernEssling for sharing your talent and work with us.

Here's a partial tie-in from Westrons:

Thing is that Cook still fails to see the various plots against him, although he "knows" Illona's pulling the strings and using anyone and everyone she can bribe or manipulate...this parallels how blind Thorn is to some VERY obvious situations where there's clear danger: he might show he understands that, but still isn't SEEING it. That clearly links to WSIM24B, but that means ch 17 here is basically ch 6 there; that means in some cases, you've compressed the events in WSIM24B relative to this one.

More fun !!