Wyex: The Dysfunction

"They're always hiring. Why?"

Diane kept her attention on the road but caressed my back through my shirt. "Gonna apply, I think, if we keep using this shit. They pay good, you said."

"I'm not gonna tell you no, you wouldn't listen if I did. But I want you to really think about what it would be like for us to both work together and live together. Marriages explode over that shit."

She frowned thoughtfully and reached over to grope my ass through my pants. "You and me are solid, Boo. I ain't worried about that. Sounds like you decided about the Wyex already, though."

I dipped my face between her spread, thick thighs and sucked one of her big balls into my mouth for a couple moments. If she hadn't been slouched so far in her seat, her legs hadn't been spread so wide, I never would have managed it. "I'm not so weirded out today. But mostly, I like the change in you. You're happier, and more aggressive, which I didn't think was possible, and your body feels good to you. I didn't know just how shitty you've had it. Even if my prostate thing wasn't going on, I'd keep doing this just for you."

Diane smiled down at me. "You a good man, Jack. I don't tell you that shit enough. But I'm close to being a lot happier, so get my dick back in your mouth, Hubby."

I couldn't help the small amused smile as I re-inhaled her cock and tried to work past my gag reflex. I was going to get down to her balls someday. After all the head she'd given me over twenty years, she deserved it.

******

Her entire body jiggled wildly. Her gigantic tits wobbled like they were resting on a speaker with a lot of bass, her little bit of a belly shook, her thighs wiggled.

One of Diane's hands planted my head to the wall with her palm on my forehead. The other was furiously jacking off her pornstar-humbling length, an inch from my face.

Even her sack was jiggling, the huge balls within pulled up tight to her body.

"Mmm. Get ready Jack, gonna paint your face even whiter. Almost there, almost there... Stick yo' tongue out. Stick it out, Baby."

I eagerly stuck my tongue out for her, and Diane closed that inch between us to rub her cock-tip on my tongue as she continued her brutal stroking.

"Oh yeah. Here it comes. Gonna be a big one. Here it comes... Here it... Oh!"

I was deluged.

The first shot went in my mouth, but after that Diane sprayed shot after shot of hot, clinging goo all over my face, moving her aim around to glaze barren spots. I immediately clenched my eyes shut, and patiently waited for it to be over.

Then I felt a weird splat, and one more.

"Did you just flick your cum-dribble on me?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "I never understood what was the big deal about this, but I get this shit now. That was fun as hell. Thanks for letting me do this, Baby."

"You're welcome," I chuckled. "But seriously, I need something to wipe your jizz off with now. That was a lot of cum, Diane."

"I got you, Boo," she assured me. "Be right back."

I didn't have tits for her to jerk off on. I felt good that I'd checked off another thing that Diane had let me do to her, even if I had to improvise a bit.

******

I turned the wrench, over and over, but the tensioner just wouldn't go any further. "I think the threads are shot. Get on the horn, tell Frank that we need another thirty minutes of downtime to replace the bolt. I'll go get one."

I started picking up my stuff while Rapha called over the radio to the supervisor.

I got back with the part, and took over from Rapha in wrenching the old bolt out, its threads ruined from vibration.

"Hey Jack, you see the new hire? Big black chick? She's got the same last name as you."

I grunted as I torqued the ruined bolt out of the tension assembly, fighting for every quarter-turn. "That's my wife, Dipshit. Watch your words."

"Bullshit. Ain't no way that big, fine woman is with a scrawny little gringo like you."

One last strain, and I got the last of the ruined threads out. It turned much easier after that. "She's gonna kiss me at lunch, guaranteed. Diane likes her kissing, and she's gonna have to get us both in trouble more than once before she stops."

Rapha looked like he was believing me after that. "How the hell did you catch her? You must be swinging low, Muchacho."

I chuckled. One person in our marriage was swinging a low-hanging dick, but it wasn't me. "I took her home drunk from a party twenty years ago," I admitted. "Never let her get away after that."

My partner looked at me with something like respect. "Might be the only smart thing you ever did in your life."

"Don't I know it!" I laughed. "Only took me four years to wear her down into marrying my stupid ass. Now let's get this back together before Frank loses his shit over even more lost production."

******

I woke up on the wrong side of the spoon, again.

Diane and I spooned up when we slept, always had. Let me tell you, if you've never scooted up against a big, soft ass at night, then you are missing out.

It started infrequently at first. I'd roll over away from her in my sleep, I guess, and she'd spoon up behind me. Only now and then, though.

It was every night now.

I sighed in resignation. All the teasing our friends gave us back in the day over our size difference finally came true. She was the one who fucked me, and I was the little spoon. The worst part was that I liked it.

Diane held me with an arm around my stomach, her big hot tits smashed against my back, her big thighs pressing to the backs of mine, and as much of her bowling pin crammed between my ass cheeks as could fit, stiff and slightly pulsing with her morning wood.

It didn't feel bad, I'll admit to that. There was something almost nice about having her dick between my cheeks, like a hotdog in a bun. Well, a foot-long hotdog in a standard bun, anyway. There was overflow.

I relaxed into her grip, putting my forearm over hers. Despite what all my instincts and experience were telling me, I was actually really comfortable with my wife pressed up against my back.

She'd said that the Wyex would make things different. It wasn't that I didn't believe her, it was that I wasn't expecting it to be different in a hundred small ways, too, in addition to the big way.

Diane was always free with her emotions. When she was pissed, she let you know. When she was happy, it was full-on joy. When she was horny, she straight-up told me we were fucking.

When she was affectionate, she showed it. I had never been starved for that in all our years together. Ever since we started Wyex, though, that affection went up a couple notches. There were more hugs, more kisses, more touches, now. It was like we were those two kids who hooked up at a party a week ago all over again, still amazed at just how much we were into the other person.

I had scoffed when Wyex was described as a marital aid to me, but damned if it didn't deliver.

Diane's arm tightened around me as she started to wake, and she stretched her legs out and crammed her morning wood against my bony ass even more.

I pushed back against it. I was well aware of just how good that felt to her.

She kissed the back of my neck with those incredibly soft, plump lips, and made a little contented noise. "Mornin' Boo."

I stroked the arm still wrapped around me. "Mornin'. How'd you sleep?"

"Damn good. Why we keep waking up like this though?"

I guessed, "Probably because of your dick. Might as well just go to sleep like this from now on, I guess."

"Mmm. Sounds good to me. M'dick feels good this mornin'."

Diane started to slide her cock up and down my crack, moving her arm down my body to hold my pelvis tighter against her. Wet, lingering kisses were pressed to the base of my neck and shoulder blade.

I tried to tug her arm up. "What are you doing?" I laughed. "We got work this morning."

"Then don't fuckin' fight me over this," she warned, and rolled us over so that she was pinning me to the bed. She began to hump against my ass with purpose.

"Seriously, Diane?"

"You know you like these titties on you, and you know you like this big black dick on you, too. Now shut up and let me get off, or we gonna be late." With that last command, she smashed her tits to my back, stuck her tongue in my ear, solidly gripped my pelvis by wedging her hands beneath us, and humped my ass hard enough to make the bedsprings creak.

I rolled my eyes. This was going to take forever. "Diane. Diane! Get the lotion out of the drawer. Lube that shit up, we don't have time for you to handicap this."

She stopped, reached way over me to the bedside nightstand, and retrieved her lotion. She sat up, her big old butt spilling around my thighs, and lotioned not only her cock, but squeezed a huge amount into my crack. Way more than she needed.

Then she was back to pinning me to the bed, sliding her monster through my crack, and licking and nibbling my ear.

"Clench that tight little ass, Boo," she whispered in my ear. "Squeeze that shit. Make me cum."

I did as I my horny wife asked, clenching the little bit of ass I had to help her get off. Her mile-long cock slid through the heavily-lubricated valley of my behind, and Diane was putting a lot of effort into it. The headboard began to bang against the wall.

She curled her hands underneath my arms to hang onto my shoulders, and bore down more, getting more pressure on her cock.

"Gettin' fucking addicted to putting it on ya, Baby," my wife softly panted into my ear. "Feels so good, every time. Loving your tight little ass, that sweet pussy. Wish I knew about this shit back when my fuckin' health first went to hell. We coulda been doing this for years."

"We'd have proven all of our friends right, Diane. You remember how LaShawna used give you so much shit over me. How she used to tell you that you'd better be careful not to break my ass. If we'd have started this back then, with how much we did It? This ass would be broke as hell."

"Fuck that bitch! What we do at home was none of her goddamn business, anyway. Fuck her."

I loved Diane's indignant tones when they weren't directed at me. I tried to push my ass against her grinding, but she was a big girl. I didn't move her much.

"Gonna cum, Baby. Gonna cum all up on yo' ass."

Powerful thrusts of her pelvis heralded hot splatters shooting up my back. Diane groaned, and hummed, and very vocally enjoyed cumming all over my back without using a single word.

"Aw shit," she laughed, burying her forehead between my shoulder blades as the pulsing of her monster cock slowed. "Painted my titties."

"What happened to 'Gonna cum on my ass'?" I taunted.

"You need more backup in your back up to catch this shit right here."

I laughed. My ass would always be skinny. "Good luck with that. Why don't you grab a shirt from the hamper and wipe us down. You can have the first shower, and I'll get the coffee started."

Diane kissed my spine one last time, and rolled off of me to just do that. Her tits dragged across my back, smearing her cum everywhere.

"Fuck," I muttered, still laughing.

Diane ran the dirty t-shirt over my back and ass, wiping away her mess while she muttered to herself.

"Fuck LaShawna. Her man wouldn't let her cum all up on his back, or all over his face. Got the best damn man in the world right here, and she gives me shit over it? Not like that bitch can keep a man for more than..."

I strained to listen to my wife as she denigrated her sister and sang my praises under her breath, but she'd walked too far away.

I was still chuckling to myself as I rolled out of bed and went to go fill the coffee maker, feeling pretty good about myself after listening to my wife's defensive tirade.

Twenty years together, and Diane still thought I couldn't hear her when she muttered.

******

"Jesus, Jack. Your wife sends you to the store for tampons? And you do it!?"

I froze, closed my eyes, and counted to three. When I turned around, Frank was still there wearing an infuriating smirk.

I grunted, and pushed by the asshole.

"I guess if my wife was that big, and I was as little as you, I'd do what I was told, too."

I whirled on him, death in my eyes. Peckerhead just did not know how close he came to having the long hair on his head tied to the short hair on his ass and being kicked down the street like a basketball.

"What makes you think you can just walk up to me in public and disrespect me like that?"

My tone was forced into calmness, but Frank took one look at my face and knew he'd stepped in it.

"Listen here, Punk. We, you and me, we are not friends. We don't hang out after work, don't go for beers after we clock out. The only reason I put up with you at work is because they pay me to. Now, your mouth is writing checks that I'm dangerously close to making your ass cash. If you see me in public, you don't get to come say hi and give me shit. You don't get to talk to me at all."

I took two steps away from the frozen production supervisor, and whirled back around.

"Oh, and if you try and take this little incident out on me or Diane at work? I'll have the union come down on your ass like a ton of bricks. Have a shitty day, now."

I stalked away towards the self-checkout, two boxes of tampons in my hands and nothing else.

Fucking Frank.

Fucking menstrual cramps.

Fucking PMS.

******

One big lunge, and I had it! I finally fucking did it!

Diane's big balls were on my chin, and I had every millimeter of her monster cock in my mouth and down my throat. My nose pressed into her curly pubes, and if my mouth hadn't been stretched so wide, I'd have smiled in satisfaction.

Just because I was on the rag, didn't mean that Diane's sex drive went down any. For that matter, I was oddly horny despite it all. But my front door was down for repairs, and she wasn't even trying my back door. Not with what she was swinging around.

Blowjobs. Lots and lots of blowjobs. Three day's worth so far. It was still barely a drop in the bucket compared to all the dick sucking Diane had given me over the years.

I raised my gaze to meet her eyes, and her heavy-lidded face was a picture of lust. One hand cradling the back of my head, the fingers of her other clenched deep into her soft, massive breast, and her sexy plump lower lip caught between her teeth.

"God-damn that's a sexy sight. Look at my big old dick disappear in that little mouth. Fuck, Jack, you took that shit down like a champ! Swallow that dick, Baby. Swallow it. Jack, fucking swallow!"

I finally realized she'd been specifically asking me to swallow around her cock, and not just talking shit to me. It took effort, but I was able to swallow, my throat convulsing around the tube lodged in it.

Her palm on the back of my head pressed me in deeper. "That's too good. Just a little more, Baby, I'm almost there. Just a little... just... Ughn..."

Diane grunted sexily as she pumped her cum directly into my stomach. She humped minutely against my face, her big fucking dick pulsed inside of my throat, and I could feel every detail of her orgasm.

It seemed like she was finished, but she was still clamping my head to her pelvis, her balls relaxing and drooping from my lower lip to rest against my chin.

I started patting her thick thigh. I'd been holding my breath with her cock lodged in my airway, and my eyes were watering something fierce. She had seconds before teeth came out.

She abruptly let go, and I could imagine her embarrassment over getting caught like that. I backed off of her dick, feeling the no longer quite as stiff tube slither itself back out of my throat.

Then I got off my knees, because it hurt.

Diane grabbed her other titty up so she had one in each hand, and writhed her back against the wall. "Fuck, I can't believe you took it all. That was some magic shit, right there."

I never thought I'd be proud of taking a ten and a half inch cock all the way in my mouth, but that's where I was. I chuckled, "I've had a lot of practice the last few days."

The blissful expression she was wearing melted away, and she dropped her massive boobs to slap against her stomach. "I never sucked your dick three or four times a day when I was on the rag," she stated, like it was a sudden realization.

"So?" What did that have to do with anything?

My wife gave me an anguished look, and wandered over to sit in the armchair. She beckoned with her hands for me to come closer.

I walked over to her, and she slapped the top of one of her thick thighs. "Sit down, Boo."

I folded my arms in defiance. "I'm not sitting in your lap, Diane."

She looked a little angry after that. "Ain't no one around to see, and I can hold your skinny ass on my leg all goddamn day. Shit is different now, Jack. Now come on and sit that bony white butt on me, I wanna hold you for this."

I rolled my eyes, but sat on her soft thigh, the panties I had to wear under my boxers during my period riding up my ass.

Diane wrapped her arms around me and held my stiff form close to her. "Do you remember when we first hooked up?"

I chuckled softly. "The actual night is kind of hazy. The morning after is pretty clear, though."

She gazed off into the distance, seeing the past. "I remember waking up in a strange bed, feeling just awesomely fucked. Then I remembered I went home with a skinny white guy, and damn if he didn't deliver for me the night before... but we were so drunk...

"I remember thinking that there was no way this dude was going to want the big fucking black chick he brought home when he was trashed hanging around, and I took my time finding my shit and getting dressed. Didn't want the coming scene to ruin that awesome night until the last minute.

"So I finally sneak out of the bedroom, and there's the dude at the table, drinking a cup of coffee. He looks at me, and fucking smiles. Like, this dude was happy I woke up and he got to see me again. Fucking genuine.

"He stands up, like I was a Lady and shit, and asks if I want some coffee, and if I'd like some breakfast. Then the motherfucker just cooks that shit right in front of me. Talking to me like I was a real woman with real feelings while he made me fucking bacon and eggs, instead of kicking the drunk fuck-toy slut out the door.

"So I start thinking that this dude might just be the one I'd been looking for. I had to get to know him better. And then breakfast was done, and I didn't have a good reason to stick around, and he tells me he's got a clean towel if I want to use his shower."

I softly laughed in reminiscence. "I was scrambling for any reason to steal just one minute more with you."

Diane carried on as if she hadn't heard me. "That was it. I wasn't leaving this dude's ass until he kicked me out. When he offered to drive me home, I told him that it was just gonna be for a change of clothes, and we were comin' right back to fuck sober this time."

She sniffed wetly and finally started to look at me. "I had the best man in the whole damn world given to me, like a present wrapped in a fucking bow. I told myself I would do whatever it took to hang onto him. Whatever. It. Fucking. Took.

"I should've been sucking your dick five times a day when I was on the rag. Should've let you jack off all over my face when you felt like it. Should've been wearing skank-ass lingerie and shit for you. Should've been making big fucking breakfasts for you before you went off to work to support the both of us. Should've made you your favorite meals every damn supper. Should've gave you head first thing in the morning, rode your dick last thing at night, and came to your work to fool around on your lunch break just-fucking-because.

"You're so damn good to me, Jack. So giving, especially now when I can't seem to keep my dick off you. I'm so sorry I didn't do all this shit for you when you still had yours."