Wyex: The Dysfunction

I finally relaxed into her insistent pulling, leaning into her soft embrace.

"You're so fucking stupid," I laughed.

At her hurt look, I hurriedly elaborated. "Did you know I was only at that party because Eddie had some girl he wanted me to meet? I laid eyes on you, and I completely forgot about what I was supposed to be there for.

"You were wearing this tube-top that barely held your tits in, and these tight hot pants that showed off all of your curves. So right away, I'm sexually attracted, right? And I drift closer.

"There's this crowd of people around you, and I saw why. You were boisterous, and loud, and drunk, and so damn funny. Then you'd turn on a dime and smack down anyone who got out of line. Just... the life of the party. All the charisma in the world.

"And I thought to myself, if this girl gets just a little more drunk, maybe it won't matter that I'm a skinny white guy. Maybe she won't notice she's taller than me. Maybe I can bring this girl home, show her my A-game. Then maybe, just maybe, I can convince her to stick around for awhile."

I leaned my head against hers. "I met the love of my life that night, and I know just how lucky I am that you stuck around. Maybe you didn't do all that fancy shit, but I've got twenty years of getting kissed like you fucking mean it, and the only reason you didn't suck my dick five times a day on the rag is because you liked it in the ass, too."

Diane wiped her eyes and chuckled through her tears. "Don't be talking shit about ass-fuckin' 'till you try it. That shit be good."

I had a full-body shudder at the thought. "You'd have to be half the size before I'd even consider it," I told her with all seriousness.

She glared at me. "Now I know that after twenty years together you ain't makin' cracks about my weight."

I blinked dumbly at her for a minute. "Your dick, Diane. Your dick has to be half the size."

She got the embarrassed look on her face that was so rare. Diane just did not embarrass easily. "You missing out," she rallied. "Butt sex feels real good."

I chuckled, "Would probably feel even better for you than it used to. You got a prostate in there now."

Her eyes got really big, and I saw the excitement on her face. "Yeah... Fuckin' yeah! We get you one of them strapons. As close as we can find to what your dick was like. Then you can fuck my big ass when you on the rag!"

"Are you serious?" I checked.

She nodded excitedly. "Hell yeah, I am! Be like old times, mostly. A little bit of how it used to be. Plus, I didn't wanna say nothin', but your lips are looking kinda raw, Boo. We need something else besides my dick in your mouth right now."

I bargained, "Alright. But I'm not going into the pervert store alone."

Then I made to get up, but Diane wasn't having it. "Later, Boo. Just sit here and let me cuddle you for a bit. Never actually got you to sit on my lap before... Kinda like it."

I huffed, but it was mostly for show. I was already okay with being the small spoon at night, this wasn't much worse. Besides, her thigh was really soft, her massive titty was smushed on me, and I was horny.

Then Diane started pressing affectionate kisses to my shoulder and neck with her amazing lips, and I felt like grinding my teeth.

Two more days. Two more days, and I could have my wife fuck me again.

******

I woke up on my back, the covers pulled down, and Diane between my legs with her face in my pussy.

Also, I woke up mid-orgasm.

It took a minute or so, but eventually I looked at the alarm clock, and it was pretty early. "Why the hell are you waking me up so early on a Saturday? We should be sleeping in, Diane."

She pulled her face out of my crotch, licking her big lips clean of my wetness. "Couldn't wait, Boo. Been a long five days without your pussy. Gonna be spending a lot of today in bed, I think."

She shuffled up on her knees and slapped my pussy lips with her cock, sending a jolt throughout me with every impact.

Diane noticed my little jumps as she spanked my clit with her cockhead, and a victorious smile crept up her face.

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, she knew that I was wanting her dick despite my complaint about being woken up. "Yeah, yeah. You don't gotta rub it in."

"I would never! The nerve of some people," she blatantly lied as she got off of the bed entirely, grasping my ankle and forcibly turning my body ninety degrees so that my butt was hanging off the side of the bed. She grasped my other ankle too, spreading my legs apart and scooting my knees over her wide hips, then started to feed her python into my burrow.

After a minute or two of working her length in and out of me, she bottomed out and leaned way down so our faces were close together. She gave me a kiss that tasted of pussy and asked, "Put your arms around my neck and hold on, Baby."

"What?"

Diane's hands got a good, firm grip on my little butt. "I'm gonna pick your skinny white ass up and fuck you all standing up and shit. Don't fight me on this, Boo. This shit's happening."

I worked my jaw side-to-side a bit, but conceded and wrapped my arms around her neck. Shit was different, now. "Don't hurt yourself, and don't hurt me either," I warned.

I don't know why I was surprised when Diane was able to easily stand up straight, holding my entire weight in her hands. I was supporting myself a little with my arms and legs, sure, but I was supporting myself on her. I guess I was just that skinny, and Diane had some hidden strength in her arms.

Diane took two staggering steps backward, away from the bed, and smiled smugly at the look on my face. "How's that feel, Baby? Fucking deep as hell, right?"

I opened my mouth, but Diane wasn't expecting a response. Instead, she bounced me on her giant dick. No more sounds were coming out of me after that.

"That's it, Baby. Bounce on that big fucking dick. Mmmm. Squeeze my titty. Go on, get you a good grip now."

I moved one of my arms from around her neck and clenched one of her giant tits in my hand, eliciting a loud groan and more effort put into lifting me up by the ass and dropping me down her pole.

This was too much. I grit my teeth as a very, very strange pressure built up inside of me. Being face to face with Diane as she manhandled me up and down her monster cock, she saw something in my expression and her grin turned absolutely lecherous.

"Oooh, Baby. You about to cum big, ain't ya. I can see it, Boo. You just let that shit go. It ain't like before when you had to hold out for my black ass. From now on, it's me holding back for you. Cum, Jack. Fucking cum."

My eyes rolled back into my head, and everything became way too sensitive. Nearly painfully so. I leveraged everything I had to lift up off of her spear, straining with my legs on her hips and my one arm across her shoulders.

I got just high enough for an instant, feeling her pop out and slide up my crack right as that weird pressure released, and I sprayed all over her dick as she herself started shooting cum behind me, the tube of her dick pulsing in my ass crack. I shuddered violently in orgasm, my bones just not working anymore. Diane somehow managed to hold me against her without any help from me as she had her own explosion.

I rested my head against her soft shoulder as the aftershocks that trailed behind a really good female orgasm ran through me, the ones I still wasn't used to.

I noticed her convulsions as she tried to keep her mirth inside, but when I looked at her face questioningly, she lost it and started braying her loud, boisterous laughter that had never stopped being infectious to me.

"Aww shit, Jack. We both made one hell of a mess here. Didn't know you was a squirter."

I lethargically looked behind me, at the streaks of Diane's cum shot across our bedsheets and blankets, then to the floor where my wife's feet were standing in some very wet carpet.

"Fuck," I sighed. "Guess we're renting a steam cleaner today."

Diane grinned, moved one hand up my back and held me close. "Fuckin' worth it," she bragged. "That shit was hot as fuck. We just gotta put down a tarp or some shit next time."

She gave me a thorough kiss, me ignoring the taste of my own pussy and her ignoring my morning-breath, as she held me aloft with my spray still dripping down her legs to collect in the puddle she stood in.

I had the best wife. No one else's wife could do this for him, or would be so cool about it if she could.

******

Diane looked over at me as we left work for the day, seeing the look on my face. "You alright, Baby? That motherfucker Frank didn't try nothin' again, did he?"

I glanced behind us, through the rear window, and saw familiar cars. "Turn left, Diane. Take the long way home, will ya?"

My wife frowned, but dutifully turned left to drive home through the residential streets.

As soon as we were out of sight of any of our coworkers, I unbuckled my seat belt and laid sideways on the bench seat of our truck, pillowing my head on Diane's soft thigh.

She combed my hair back with her fingers, her nails pleasantly scratching at my scalp. It was incredibly soothing, always had been. "You're worrying me, Boo. What is it?"

I ground my teeth for a moment. "I'm late."

Her fingers made one more pass through my hair, then froze.

"...How late?"

I shrugged as best I could from my weird position. "Five days, or thereabouts. Wyex is supposed to keep that shit running like a clock, they say."

Diane resumed threading through my hair, but it was clumsier now. Faster, less soothing. "Yeah, but there's all kinds of shit that can screw up the timing. Stress, for instance. I know you're stressed about work lately."

"Yeah. Doesn't feel like that's the thing, though." I had a feeling in my gut that I just couldn't ignore any longer.

"Okay... Okay. We'll stop on the way home, get you some sticks to piss on. Find out one way or the other."

"Could I talk you into getting them without me? I'm freaking out as it is."

Her hand drifted from my hair to rub my back. "Sure, Boo. I got you."

******

I was trying very hard to not take out my panic on anyone. Not the receptionist, not the nurse, not the doctor we were waiting on, and certainly not my wife who was pacing a nervous hole in the floor.

'Johnson & Johnson, MD'. Best specialists in the area for Wyex related medical shit, according to a three minute Google search. We got in to see them so easily that I wasn't all that sure about how good they supposedly were.

"Sit down, Diane. You're making me motion sick," I complained.

She immediately stopped, turned on a dime, and hurried over to sit by me. "Is it morning sickness? Do you need a bucket or something, just in case, Boo? Or, or I could rub your lower back, that shit's supposed to help. Here, turn away and let me get at your shit."

I grasped her hand firmly, threading my fingers through hers. "I need you to be calm, and wait with me. Calmly. That's all, Diane. Just take a breath and chill."

She did her best for me, I know it in my soul. But less than three minutes later her knee started bouncing, the heel of her shoe tapping out a staccato rhythm.

I glared, and had just opened my mouth to snarl out something, when the door opened and an angel in a lab coat entered the room.

"Hello there, Mister and Missus Camp. I'm Dr. Brooke Johnson, nice to meet you."

She shook hands with us, and settled into the desk, paging through a file. "Okay, I think I have the bare facts here. Why don't you tell me what's happening in your own words, if you would?"

Diane and I glanced at each other, and being the brave one of us, she was the one who started talking.

"Jack and I, well... I got PCOS when I was in my early twenties." She glanced at me, tightened her grip on my hand to draw strength, and turned back to the doctor. "It pretty much fucked up any chance for us to have kids, so we haven't bothered with any kind of birth control for over fifteen years now."

I leaned into my wife and whispered, "Language!"

Yeah, we both had incredibly foul mouths. There were times and places to clean up your cursing, though, and this was one of them.

"Oh, uh, sorry about that, Doc," Diane apologized. "Uh, so a couple of months ago, Jack gets told his prostate is enlarged, and the medicine we were prescribed was way out of our budget, but... Wyex wasn't. We both went on it, him for his prostate, and me for my ovaries."

"Wyex-Light?" Dr. Johnson clarified.

"Yeah. The light sh-stuff. And it was like we were kids again, you know? Everything was brand new, and different, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Then he peed on a stick two days ago, and we think he's pregnant."

The blonde doctor frowned. "Polycystic ovary syndrome is no laughing matter. You must have been in real discomfort, if not outright pain for... fifteen years? More?"

Diane shrugged, and up until that moment I had no idea just how terrible life had been for her. "Ain't no one got a perfect life. That ain't why we here, though. I'm in good shape now. It's Jack we need to talk about."

"Right," the doctor said, paging through her clipboard a bit before setting it aside entirely. "Okay, the bottom line is that this is probably the most dangerous way to have kids."

"Is it 'cause of age?" Diane worried. "He's forty-two. That's in the danger zone, right?"

Dr. Johnson shook her head. "No, actually. A seventy-year old man could carry a healthy baby safely to term on Wyex, assuming we could get enough nutrition into him. No, the problem is two fold here, and both of the issues are caused by using Wyex-Light."

She turned to me, and leaned in a bit. "You have just enough of the plumbing to make a baby, but nothing for when it's done. Your pelvic bones are male, they won't support the baby right as it grows, they're too narrow, and they won't separate like a female's would to give birth. You also won't lactate, which really is important for those first few months after the birth, at the very least.

"Now we could deliver with a cesarean, cut the baby out of you. But if you miss just one weekly injection of Wyex-Light, or if it fades early on you, then your baby factory goes up in smoke. The factory goes, but not the baby itself. Depending on how far along you are, the baby might die inside of you with no way to naturally get it out. I can't emphasize this enough, it is dangerous."

Diane's grip on my hand was starting to make my bones creak. I patted her hand and relaxed my grip some. "Diane. Diane, let go, Baby."

My wife yanked her hand away from mine like it was on fire, and she gave me a brief apologetic look before turning back to Dr. Johnson. "I can't lose him, Doc. Can't do life without him at all. So how do we save him?"

The, frankly beautiful, doctor leaned back in the rolling chair and expertly twirled a pen between her fingers, as though she had a lot of practice at it. "That depends on whether or not you want to keep this baby. You're only a week or so past your missed period, right? The simplest solution is to let your Wyex fade completely. This early in the development, the embryo will be reabsorbed."

Diane leaned forward, an intent look on her face. "Suppose we want to keep it. What happens then?"

The pen stopped twirling. "Mixing any kinds of Wyex is dangerous. There is a special transitional form of the serum, for cases just like yours, and we do have that here. If you want to keep this baby, I would strongly recommend that we transition you to full Wyex, the year-long dose."

Diane glanced at me, helplessly, and I nodded. "We need some time to talk this over, I think. How much does this cost?"

Dr. Johnson removed a pamphlet from the desk and handed it to me. "It's actually fairly affordable. Most insurers have a proviso for one to three years of Wyex under their fertility coverage."

"But this is safe?" Diane begged. "The regular Wyex... It's fucking safe for him, right?"

I elbowed her and glared over her language, but the doc just chuckled. "My mom gave birth to me and my three brothers on this Wyex. My wife gave birth to our three kids on it, too. It's safe, Mrs. Camp."

I stood and offered my hand. "Okay, we'll let you know one way or the other. Thanks, Doc."

She shook our hands and hustled out of the room. I shrugged into my jacket, but when I turned around, Diane was staring out of the window.

"Diane?" I checked.

"I was gonna give you a dozen babies," she said out of the blue, still staring out into the sky.

"A dozen... Really?"

"That wasn't a hard line in the sand," she shrugged, tilting her head to watch something higher up. "A dozen babies is what I figured you deserved before we needed to talk about any more. I'd have given you as many kids as you wanted, but... Chips didn't fall that way."

I walked up to her, put my hand on the small of her back. When she finally turned from the window, there were two nearly invisible tear-tracks on her face, one going down from the corner of each eye.

"I ain't askin' you for a dozen babies, Jack. I ain't even asking for two. Just one, Boo. Just this one miracle baby. That's all."

I turned to look out the window with her, making a hard decision. "You realize we'll be over sixty years old when this kid graduates high-school, right?"

Diane brought both of her hands to her mouth, stifling her sobs.

I rubbed her back as she broke down into helpless tears. "Gonna have to buy a bunch of shit if I'm gonna be a woman for a year."

******

"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you, Jack. Tell me one more time, please?"

"I'm quitting. Effective immediately."

I hadn't had much cause to deal with my job's HR department after my initial hiring. When I came in to quit, I was moved upward and upward until I was talking to the head supervisor for maintenance. My boss's boss, second down from the top of the tree.

Mike looked at me, just not comprehending. "Uh... can I ask why? You've worked for us for well over twenty years. This seems pretty sudden."

I nodded. "Mm-hm. Twenty four years now. And as for why I'm quitting?" I started ticking points off on my fingers. "Frank is an asshole, I'm pregnant now and can't be in contact with any of the chemicals, Frank is an asshole, I have to transition into a woman for the next year and won't make the lifting requirements to be in maintenance anyway, and, oh... Frank is an asshole."

Mike looked flabbergasted for a moment. "O-kay? We'll get to Frank in a second here. Did I hear you say you're pregnant?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Been on Wyex for medical shit for a couple months, now. My old lady knocked me up." That wasn't nearly as hard to say out loud as I thought it was going to be.

"Er... And Frank?"

I shrugged and slouched into the chair some more. "Punk saw me outside of work one day, ran off at the mouth. I let him know exactly how poor of a decision that was. But ever since, he's been pulling some petty bullshit on both me and Diane."

Mikes brow lowered. "That right?"

"Yeah. And if I know my wife? She's documented all of it some-damn-where. Diane wouldn't let this shit slide."

Mike leaned back in his chair. "Okay, the bottom line is that you're the only one who knows how to fix some of the machines. Why don't we just move you into a trainer position? You won't have any chemical contact, you won't have to lift anything. Just teach the newer guys how to do this stuff like you do."

"You did hear me when I said I was going to be a woman for a year, right? And I'm going to go out on maternity leave at some point."

"I did. You have a lot of valuable knowledge in your head, Jack. We'd be insane to let you quit over something we can so easily work around."

I'm sure the look on my face matched Mike's earlier look of non-understanding. "Uh, well shit," I complained. "Now I gotta ask for tomorrow off. Got a doctor's appointment that I didn't think I'd have a job to work around."