XX Marks The Spot

Author's Note: This story is a romantic fantasy. Although there's an explicit sex scene at the end, that isn't the focus of the story. Also, I am using literary license in creating Anne's physiology. As far as I know, it isn't impossible, but I haven't found any documentation either way.

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"Good morning, Anne. Hey, nice dress!" Lila greeted me as I walked through the office door.

"Morning, Lila. You're in early today."

"Eh, I woke up early due to the oh-so-pleasant sound of a garbage truck in the street, so I thought I might as well come in."

Lila is a somewhat thin dark-haired woman. She's a few inches taller than me, but many women are because I'm five foot one.

Lila and I had worked together for several months at this law firm. We had come on board as legal secretaries a week apart when the firm added a new partner. We hadn't really had the chance to get to know each other, due to the intensity of learning our jobs and the office culture.

It turned out that there was a lot of work that day, and we didn't wrap things up until eight that evening. I was just shrugging into my coat when Lila walked by my desk on her way out.

"Hey, Anne. Want to get a drink or some dinner?" She called out.

"Sure," I replied. "How about the Indian place up the block?"

We trudged up the street only to find that the restaurant we'd picked was closed for a family vacation. We looked around uncertainly for alternatives when I had an idea.

"Why don't we go to my place and have some wine?" I said. "My apartment is only a block away, and we can call out and have dinner delivered."

We finished the take-out Thai dinner and were settling on the couch with glasses of wine. We'd talked shop over pad thai and now we were relaxing.

"It's about time we sat down and got to know each other better," Lila commented. "We've put a lot of hours in together in the office but, aside from the Christmas party, haven't really talked about personal stuff."

"True," I replied. "Well, now we can talk about anything you want. Got any juicy office gossip?"

"Aw, enough about work," she said. "I want to learn more about you."

"Hey, before we get into that, would you like another glass of Chardonnay? I have another bottle in the kitchen. Or maybe you'd like some tea or a bit of brandy?"

"Oooh, brandy," said Lila with a smile. "Been a long time since I've had that."

I returned with two brandy snifters and the bottle of brandy. We exchanged basic info on where we were from (me from Ohio, Lila from California) and talked some about our families. I was an only child, but Lila had a brother one year younger. We swapped anecdotes about our family histories, too. I mentioned that my family had a secret that they didn't want to get out; my grandfather served time in prison for robbery. I was always cautioned not to mention that to anyone. I guess my parents were somewhat conscious of the conservative nature of our small town.

Lila said that her great-great-grandmother was Chinese, an immigrant to this country who married a railroad engineer of European ancestry. It wasn't a huge secret but it wasn't talked about much.

We had seconds on the brandy and were having a jolly time. "Okay," I said. "If your Chinese forebear wasn't a huge secret, were there any?"

Lila pursed her lips and looked at the floor for a minute. She seemed to be coming to a decision.

"Okay, promise you won't spread this around?" she implored.

I said, "I am the opposite of a blabbermouth."

"Okay, here goes," said Lila. "Once upon a time I made out with my own brother. It didn't go any farther than that and we didn't do it again."

"Wow, how did that come about?" I asked.

"We were alone in the house, our parents having gone sailing with some friends for the weekend. We were bored and decided to watch some videos. My brother Tom chose an action movie, so we watched that. Then I insisted that we watch a romantic comedy.

"Toward the end of the film there was a quite steamy kissing scene. Tom and I were sitting on the couch and for some reason I put my head on his shoulder. The movie ended with a very romantic scene of the newly married couple walking hand-in-hand into the sunset. Corny, right? But we were just eighteen and nineteen.

"As the credits rolled, Tom put his arm around my shoulders. We just turned and looked at each other and the next thing I knew we were kissing. I was kind of turned on, and I'm sure he was. We made out for a couple of minutes, then abruptly stopped. Neither of us said anything. It was quiet for a moment and then Tom got up to take the DVD out of the player.

"I think we were both stunned by what had happened. I mumbled good night to my brother and went to my room. Our parents were back the next day. We never spoke about it again. Tom gave me significant looks a couple of times but I just pretended I didn't understand. Him being a horny teenage boy, I'm sure he would have loved to have a live-in sister-slash-girlfriend but I wasn't into it.

"Tom's happily married now with two kids. I visit them occasionally but there's nothing abnormal about our relationship."

I was stunned, more that she'd reveal such an intimate thing to me than the transgressive nature of the secret. "Wow, Lila, when you confess, you confess!"

"I can't believe I told you that," she said. "Was that TMI?" Lila seemed really concerned.

"No way!" I shook my head. "Since you were so forthcoming, I guess I need to tell you my big secret."

"Go on, I'm listening, Anne."

"I like to wear men's underwear."

Lila was visibly disappointed. "Uh, that's not much of a revelation."

"True," I replied, "but it's why I wear men's underwear that's the big secret."

I stood up and faced Lila. Then I lifted my skirt. Lila naturally looked at my men's briefs. Then she looked closer and her mouth fell open.

"Is that bulge what I think it is?," she gasped.

"Yeah. It's a penis."

"Really? You're trans?"

"Yes. I'm also intersex. My penis is just like a regular guy's. The rest of me is girl. Well, technically I'm male, but with two X chromosomes."

"Whoa," exclaimed Lila. "It's gonna take a minute to wrap my head around that one!"

I pulled down my skirt and sat on the couch once again. "You aren't going to run screaming out the door, are you?"

Lila hastened to say, "No, no. I'm not that conservative. It was just a shock."

"Whew!" I said with relief. "It could cost me my job if this got around, you know. We may work for progressive lawyers but there's the little matter of appearances. They might be reluctant to keep me if some of our more conservative clients hear about it."

The room was quiet as we both reflected on the things we'd both just learned.

Lila took a deep breath. "I swear I'm not running screaming out the door," she said with a smile. "I want to hear more, but I really need to get home. Tomorrow's another work day and it's getting late."

She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Uber. As I walked her to the door, I was hoping that my disclosure wouldn't scare her off. I had a feeling we could be good friends.

The next morning, I entered the office with some trepidation, but Lila greeted me as cheerfully as ever and we got right to work. Mid-morning, I had occasion to visit the women's restroom. When I pushed open the door, I saw Lila washing her hands.

"I hope you didn't have too much of a hangover this morning, Lila."

"I was awfully thirsty when I got up, but some coffee and some orange juice fixed me right up," she said. "How about you?"

"I'm fine. I slept unusually well for some reason." Glancing at the stalls to make sure no one was there to overhear, I said, "I think unburdening myself was quite a relief."

"Same with me," Lila said. She dried her hands and tossed away the paper towel. "I worried that I'd overdone the beans spilling, but it felt good to open up about something that has often weighed on my mind. Somehow, telling someone else lets me see how it wasn't such a big deal. Could have led to disaster, but it didn't."

Just then, Justine, one of the partners, walked in. "Morning all!" she said. "Hope you weren't gossiping about me." We all laughed. Lila and I left for our respective desks.

It so happened that Lila and I were designated to attend a three-day convention in Chicago on legal administrators and their changing roles (whoo hoo). Since we were the two most junior employees, I guess the higher-ups figured we were most expendable and most in need of training. This was actually a good thing for us, since one of the topics of the convention was how the traditional legal secretary was a fading career.

We flew to Chicago and made our way from O'Hare to the hotel in the Loop where the convention was to happen. We checked in, registered and went to the orientation. The first session was on the impact of AI on jobs. We both realized we needed to work on our tech skill set. We discussed it over lunch.

"Gee, that session made me nervous," I said. "I hope I can cope with these new expectations."

"I think we're up to it," Lila said optimistically. "I sure don't want to be in a job that's the same thing day after day."

I said, "I hope you're right." I took a sip of coffee. "I do enjoy a challenge."

"That thing they said about lawyer-to-assistant ratios worried me the most," Lila mused. "I hope the two of us never end up competing for the same job."

"I can tell you this, Lila; I don't intend to start ingratiating myself to the partners just to keep my job. They'll have to keep me or ditch me on my professional merits."

Lila patted my hand. "Well said."

I gave her fingers a squeeze and then went back to demolishing my salad. Then I had another thought.

"I'll tell you another thing." I spoke more softly this time. "Whatever happens in the office, I'm not going to try and undercut you, even if it means I have to look for another job."

"Thank you for that, Anne. I agree. You're a friend I don't want to lose, especially over competition at work."

I chuckled. "The Two Musketeers! One for all and all for one."

"Shouldn't that be 'one for two and two for one'?"

I laughed. "'Two for one' is for cans of soup."

The rest of the day was a grind. By the time the sessions were over, I was ready to take a walk in the fresh air. Our hotel room was in the same place as the convention, so it was like we were trapped in a shopping mall otherwise.

Lila and I dashed through the glass doors of the hotel lobby into the warm June breeze and the whirlwind of Loop traffic. I filled my lungs with fresh air (laden, I must admit, with a bit of auto exhaust).

"What shall we do, Lila?"

"Let's just walk a while. My butt must be flat as a pancake after all that sitting in the meetings."

It was a pleasant evening. The sun was below the skyscrapers which formed an urban outline behind us. We walked east toward the Lake, and into Grant Park. Lots of people of all kinds were strolling, running and skating along the paths.

We stopped at an ice cream stand and bought cones, then found a pleasant bench along a walkway lined with hedges. We sat silently, licking our cones and enjoying a respite from thinking about business.

"So." Lila said, crunching the last of her cone and licking her fingers. "Would this be a good time for you to tell me about your sexual...stuff?"

"If you're interested, I'll be glad to," said I. "Do you want the long version or the short version?"

"I did some googling on 'intersex', so I have some background there," Lila said.

"Okay, well, I'm in the category of XX Male. At birth, I looked like a generic male, normal penis. My testicles hadn't descended but that happened within a month, or so I'm told. Naturally I don't remember.

"By the time I was five, I was insisting I was a girl, and asking to wear dresses. Now, this was back in the day a bit, so the idea I might be trans wasn't the first diagnosis...that was 'gay'. My Dad, who wasn't exactly Mister Progressive, was a bit freaked out, but he tried to roll with it.

"It's not like I was totally into pink dollhouses. I liked playing with toy trucks and so forth. It's just that I tended to do things like name my toy dump truck 'Melissa".

"Things lurched along like that for a few years, with Dad and Mom having the occasional tug-of-war over my activities and dress. Until I hit puberty."

It had begun to cool off, with winds from the Lake coming in, so I suggested we begin our stroll back to the hotel. Meanwhile, I continued my saga.

"Once pubic hairs began sproinging out, something else happened. I developed breast buds. Now, lots of boys have that happen. It's called gynecomastia and it usually goes away after the male hormones kick in a bit harder. However, with me, that didn't happen. It became obvious that I was actually going to get tits. That's when the examinations and testing began."

We were back at the hotel, headed for the elevators.

"Wow, tough situation," Lila remarked.

"You said it," I responded. "The tests revealed my XX status. Boy, that sent my dad into a tailspin. Now he had no idea how to relate to me or even what pronouns to use when he talked about me. There were many meetings with doctors and counselors. My father pushed for cutting out my breasts and giving me male HRT, while my mother was more ambivalent but thought maybe replacing my penis with a vagina was the way to go. Nobody was listening to what I thought."

We had reached our room by this time. I zapped the door with the key card and we went inside. Lila sat on one of the two double beds while I sat down on the other, facing her.

"The suspense is killing me," Lila said. "What happened next?"

"I was really fortunate to be taken to a psychologist who had studied intersex people for her doctorate, and who was very understanding. The first question she had for me was, 'What do you want, Andrew?' Oh, I forgot to mention that I was Andrew or Andy to that point. I tend to forget that Andrew ever existed.

"My parents were there, both sitting on the edges of their chairs. 'I don't want anyone cutting on me. No surgery. Why can't I be just like I am?' I exclaimed. I heard gasps from both my parents, like that alternative hadn't even occurred to them."

Lila shook her head. "Wow, that was very brave of you."

"Not so much brave as naive," I said. "I had no idea how difficult it was going to be to go through life as a freak."

Lila exclaimed, "You're not a freak, Anne! You're you!!"

Tears welled in my eyes. Lila moved to my side on the bed and put her arms around me. It felt good to be held.

"Are you okay?" Lila asked.

"Yes," I said. "I just had a weak moment there. Are you okay? I don't want to overburden you."

"It's no problem," said Lila. "That's what friends are for."

I looked around the room for a distraction. "Hey, we haven't even had dinner," I said. "Shall we order from room service?"

"Now that you mention it, I am a bit hungry. I'll pull up the menu on my phone." Lila looked around for her cellphone.

I took her hand. "Enough with the counseling session, but we should talk again soon. This time, about you. I want to hear more about the woman who's rapidly becoming my best friend."

Later,we ate our club sandwiches at the small table in the room. As I was clearing things onto the tray prior to putting it in the hallway for pickup, I said, "You can have the honor of the first shower or bath, if you like. I have some email to write."

Lila took me up on my offer and was soon in the bathroom with the shower running. I wrote up a brief report on the convention so far and sent it off to our boss, then answered some other business email. I was surfing the web for the latest world news when Lila came out.

"I could get used to unlimited hot water," Lila remarked. She was toweling her hair, another towel wrapped around her. She really was quite slim, I noticed.

"It's nice, but I wouldn't want to be paying the full rate for our hotel room. Good thing the office is covering this," I said. "Okay, my turn." I headed off to the bathroom. I decided to take a bath rather than a shower.

I finished my bath much refreshed, wrapped a towel around my torso and came out to find Lila already ensconced in one of the beds with her Kindle. I had laid my nightshirt out on my bed already, so I just had to slip into it and climb into bed.

I tossed the towel onto the back of a chair and picked up my nightshirt. Raising my arms, I slipped it over my head and began pulling it down. As my head came out the neck of the shirt, I happened to be looking Lila's way, and I saw that she was observing me closely, particularly my exposed torso with the much-discussed penis exposed. Lila quickly turned her attention back to her Kindle.

"Oops, didn't mean to flash you there," I chuckled.

"Oops, didn't mean to stare at you so boldly," she replied. "Curiosity got the better of me."

I didn't know quite what to think of this. True, anyone would be curious about my body after my explanation, but was there more to it? I would put off thinking about it until tomorrow.

Tomorrow became today. I awoke to my phone alarm buzzing by my bed. It was 7:00 and I needed to get going quickly. I glanced over at Lila's bed and saw that it was empty. Somehow she was already up and out the door; the fact that she'd accomplished that meant that I had been deeply asleep, or else she was very stealthy.

The first seminar was at 8:00, and I made it there by 7:50. There was a nosh table at the back, with only a couple of bagels left on it. I grabbed a paper plate and a bagel, but skipped the cream cheese. I didn't want to go through the morning with a schmear of cream cheese on my upper lip. A quick trip to the coffee urn and I was set.

I looked for Lila and saw her sitting near the front, engaged in conversation with someone seated next to her. I found an empty chair in the back of the room and sat.

The lecture was pretty ho-hum, a disappointing reason to have rushed downstairs. As soon as it was over, I slipped out to the restroom. Coming back, I saw Lila standing by herself. She looked pensive.

"Good morning, early bird," I said. "I didn't even hear you get up."

She answered somewhat distractedly.

"Something going on?" I asked.

"I just ran into a former co-worker from another job," she said. "I'll tell you about it later."

I glanced at my convention schedule. The next presentation was "UPBMS Webinars And You". This sounded like something very skippable, so I suggested we have an early lunch instead. She agreed, so, since we were playing hooky, we decided to be discreet and head for a restaurant a couple of blocks away. We found a nice Greek restaurant that was nearly empty since it was still early for the lunch crowds. I ordered fasolada soup, while Lila, who didn't have to watch her weight, ordered moussaka. (I would have loved to have some tzatziki, but I was afraid of breathing garlic on someone.)

As we were having our Greek coffees (and Lila, a small baklava), I asked her if she wanted to talk about why she had seemed upset.

"Okay, so this woman I used to work with a couple of years ago was sitting next to me. We were catching up on things and she happened to mention a guy I had once dated. Actually, he was the senior partner in the law firm so I shouldn't have been seeing him at all, but I was young and green, and he was very attentive. I initially went out with him because I was feeling pressured to do so, but then I got to like him. A lot.

"Long story short, he dumped me for another woman, a very zafdig one. I was pissed off and one day when I was in his office, I told him so. He was disdainful and, among other insults he threw at me, he said that I was too skinny. I think the phrase he used was 'like making love to a pile of coat hangers'.