Year One Pt. 03

I wonder if Angie has got anything about it. I'll keep my eyes open while I'm clearing up at home.

Got back home after work and Angie was waiting. "Don't forget to put on your overall before you start cleaning. You don't want to mess up your office clothes." That made some sort of sense but a pair of jeans and a tee shirt would have been just as good. I feel a right dick in this dress thing but Angie just looked amused as I got on with clearing up the kitchen. Angie was watching television while I cooked the evening meal.

"Can you just bring me mine," she called as I said food was ready. "I want to watch this and then I'm going out. Party meeting."

I took her food through, she said to hang on while she ate it as she wasn't going to be long. The TV news had an interview with someone explaining how the new financial services measures were having a beneficial effect. Imports were down substantially and local manufacturing is improving. Some were arguing that it was to do with the cost of labour, others saying that its down to "improved decision making in the business community" - i.e. men aren't involved.

Angie seemed to enjoy the meal but she didn't say anything until she'd finished and then it was, "Maybe Lucy was right about getting you a nice black uniform so you can wait at table," as she gave me back her plate.

I really feel I have to do something with this. I've tried to go along with things but this and the MCP thing seems a step too far. I'm going to try to talk to Harry.

Monday December 20^th

I slipped out of the office at lunch time and went back to the cafe where I'd seen Harry back in November. The bloke behind the counter said he didn't know where he was but I hung around and had a coffee and a sandwich and after about half an hour Harry came in.

"I couldn't say anything about South Merryfield," I said, "that was my boss that picked me up. I think she and the Male Control Force were watching me after the visit." Harry looked nervous for a moment." I'm pretty sure I wasn't followed here today, though."

"That's OK," said Harry, "I solved it another way."

I told him about the "Consultation on Future Policy Proposals" stuff that I'd found but he didn't seem very interested. "Yeah, that goes on all the time," he said. "They don't push anything down to the local party groups that hasn't been fairly well batted around first. Most of it sounds like stuff that's already public. Don't you read the newspapers?"

Then I explained about the bid document. Harry didn't seem surprised but he did seem interested in it. "Can you get me a copy?" he said.

"I'm not sure that I could let you have it. I mean it would be obvious where it came from, wouldn't it. I transcribed it though, look." I gave Harry my handwritten version that I'd copied out. He read it through there and then. He obviously thought it was important.

"I won't say anything about this," he said. "That way if anyone asks you can you tell them you didn't give me the document and I never talked about it."

I felt pretty uncomfortable. I've never really liked the idea of making trouble for anyone and basically I'm a law-abiding person who tends to follow the rules and wonder about whether or not they are right later.

I'm the opposite of Harry in that respect. He's always been a "why should I have to do that?" sort of bloke.

That probably explains why he's living without a sponsor, trying to stay one jump ahead of the Male Control Force, and I'm stuck with a girlfriend that's turned into a New Order Valkyrie and a job with a boss that thinks "employee benefits" means being able to shag her assistant anytime she likes.

Wednesday December 22nd

The local branch association for New Order organised a Christmas party. Angie insisted that I accompany her. "What's the point of bothering with sponsoring you, if I can't show the rest of them that I'm doing my bit for changing the nation? You can come along and enjoy it."

They'd organised it up at the local golf club (Now that was a mark of the change in the country - when they banned unaccompanied men from the member's bar and swapped over the men's captain and ladies' captain parking places outside.) and Angie was determined to make an impact. She'd got hold of a long black evening gown from somewhere and I had to dig out my penguin suit.

The trouble was she also wanted show off her non-opressed feminist credentials by having me follow her in on a leish. I tried objecting but she shook her head and made it quite clear that if I didn't play ball she'd be reconsidering her sponsorship in the New Year. So I end up in a dinner suit, wing collar shirt and bow tie plus studded leather collar and a lead. On the plus side, as Angie looked in her long mirror at the two of us, just before the taxi arrived, she gave a smile of satisfaction. With her long dark hair piled up on her head and the heels she was wearing she was a good few inches taller than me. She looked imposing and I felt pleased that I was accompanying her. Then the taxi driver rang the door bell and the old feelings of embarrassment returned.

When we got to the club, Sally Guest was there at the door, greeting everyone. I hadn't realised but it seems she's Chairman of the local party association. Her husband was there with her – at least I assume it was him as he had his head in a leather hood that completely hid his face. As we arrived, she gave Angie a hug of greeting and whispered something in her ear and laughed. I was just trying to make sure Sally didn't notice me staring at her cleavage; the gown she was wearing invited attention but I was pretty sure it wasn't inviting what Laura Mulvey called "the male gaze". There was a young woman standing beside her. She introduced Angie to her. "Have you met my daughter, Jill? She's just finished university." I could see the likeness. She looked like a 22 year old version of her mother, except that she looked rather bemused by the event around her, whereas her mother appeared to be revelling in it.

I'm not sure what I was expecting – I mean I was pretty sure that Fordswell wouldn't be hosting an event like the Halloween thing I'd seen on television. Even so, I was quite suprised by the level of fetish dress and behaviour on display. After all, there's no real reason why a feminist political party should adopt the trappings of the femdom world but Angie in her slinky black number and me with my collar and leash were at the vanilla end of the spectrum. Hoods and head harnesses for the men seemed quite common – as did an interesting variety of gags. There were plenty of collars and leashes – one man had a leash coming out of the unzipped fly of his trousers. None of the men seemed to be bothered with the way they were being treated; maybe they've all resigned themselve to the way things are?

I spent a lot of time standing around while Angie talked to other people. I didn't know that she is obviously seen as someone to consult by other folk in the local party. There was quite a lot of "What do you think about...?" and "Do you think we should be...?" and "When do you think we'll...?" type conversations. Mostly it revolved around some ofthe topics I'd seen in the Policy Proposals paper. Interestingly, no one mentioned the MCF stuff. Perhaps Harry is right and it really is hush-hush. There were drinks but nobody suggested I should have one. The same went for the food being passed around.

I discovered that it is almost possible to fall asleep on your feet.

"David!" I heard Angie snap. "Are you with me or not?"

The two women Angie was talking to - a red headed woman in white leather and a pale skinned girl of asian appearance - laughed as she jerked on my chain. Their men – both hooded as so many others were – stood by impassively, looking nervous as their eyes could be seen, glancing from side to side, through the holes in their hoods.

"What can you do?" the red-head said. "None of them have anything like an attention span."

"And that includes in the bedroom!" the Asian girl added. All three of them laughed.

Of course, there were speeches. Sally Guest welcomed everyone and singled out a few attendees for praise, including Angie who'd been 'very helpful in developing our views for policy development and helping to organise curfew monitoring teams' and a couple of other folk whose main role seemed to have been fundraising for party activities. Then there was our Member of Parliament, Nina Henning. As far as I know she's not a minister or anything, just a regular back-bench MP, but she was certainly very fired up about the Government's legislative programme and saying how party members had the responsibility to act as mentors for other women who might not yet be fully on board with the Government's programme. I can't say I've met any women who were anything other than enthusiastic. Men now, that's another matter. Preston didn't mention men once. It didn't sound like she was interested in canvassing our votes. It was then that it occurred to me that maybe New Order might try to debar men from voting. I mean could they even do that?

Friday, December 24^th

Angie started up a conversation this morning with the words, "We need to have a talk."

I'd more or less finished cleaning up the place, wearing that stupid overall dress thing and the mules she insisted I use when doing stuff around the house.

"You know I've been doing a lot of work for the Party?"

It had been obvious from the event at the golf club, plus she'd been out most evenings on party business of one sort or another so I wasn't sure why it was supposed to be such a surprise. I nodded.

"Well, Nina Henning wants me to go and work for her as a parliamentary aid. She's been appointed a junior minister at the Home Office and that carries a staffing budget. She thinks I could help with some of the policy stuff. Its really good news, only..."

I wasn't sure what was coming next but it sounded like I wasn't going to welcome it.

"Only, I obviously can't go on sponsoring someone that's working at one of the companies that provides services to government and I'll have to move to London, so we're going to have decide what to do about you."

"Oh," was all I could manage.

"I think there's three options. You could join one of the Government sponsorship schemes, or we could try to find someone local here – I've talked to Sally Guest and she can't do anything herself" (I wasn't sure if I felt relieved by that or not) "but she might find be able to find someone. Or I could talk to Lucy. Maybe she could take you on."

"But why can't I just go on living here?" None of Angie's suggestions sounded appealing.

"Well, apart from the problems of trying to live unsponsored, you mean? Access to money? Your wages won't pay the rent on this place and I'm pretty sure that the agents won't rent to an unsponsored male. Their insurance wouldn't wear it even if they wanted to."

"Oh.. well.." I was dumbstruck..I hadn't realised my position was so precarious, so dependent on Angie. Or at least some sponsor. She'd had to guarantee my credit card, she was the contact on my ident card; she'd bailed me out of that stupid problem with the MCF. The more I thought about it the more I knew I wasn't going to be able to cope without a sponsor. "Well, I can talk to Lucy, I suppose."

"No, I'll talk to Lucy. You can get on with cleaning the kitchen."

So that was what I did. I know that we aren't in a relationship – irrespective of what I might have thought – Angie told me that but even so, it's a shock. She's been a big part of my life what ever you call it for almost a year now. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with this. It's all very sudden.

Saturday December 25th

Not such a happy Christmas. Angie was preoccupied, obviously worrying about the new job. She certainly wasn't interested in talking about my position and didn't seem concerned about how I was feeling. I was anxious about what the outcome of her conversation would be – Lucy is away until New Year.

Angie insisted we watch the Prime Minister's Christmas Message. Johannsen went on about how much that New Order had achieved in little more than six months. There was plenty of TV news footage of things the Government had done. (One odd thing, I'm sure I spotted Sally Guest a few times in the footage, maybe she's more involved in the party than I thought). Certainly things have changed a lot in that time, though from my perspective – or any male – I can't say it has got better. There were a couple of sinister points in Johannsen's speech, though. She mentioned something about "not tolerating those that seek to stand in the way of the democratically elected government" and she said the Government was committed to making sure that the changes it was making were "irreversible". I'm not sure what the blokes in the pub or Harry would say about that.

"Isn't she inspirational?" Angie said. I wasn't sure that I agreed. Still, Angie was in a good mood and after a few glasses of wine we ended up having sex. Well, not with my cock, obviously, but it was fun nevertheless. It quite reminded me of last Christmas, not long after we'd first met. At the time she'd said she couldn't imagine doing it on top, when I'd suggested it. It's all changed a bit since then.

Tuesday December 28^th

Angie picked up a pamphlet for me about the Government's own sponsorship scheme, "just in case things don't work out with Lucy," she said.

I had a look at it. It certainly doesn't look like an attractive option. You have to stay in Government run hostels and whatever salary you're earning gets paid to the hostel with an allowance coming back to you for your own use.