All Comments on 'Yorkshire Dales Deflowering'

Oh to be young and full of cum, as the saying goes, however, this load crossed the line divided by family morals. A very well described tale of lost virginity but personally I would not condone this choice of the sister's husband to be the one doing it. One never forgets that first time but surely there were plenty of hunky studs around who would have been willing to satisfy this eager your girl's needs. I like the easy flowing style of the author so still worth the 5* I have given.

An American work colleague of mine was convinced the Appalachian trail passed through Oklahoma. Does Donald Trump give geography lessons? Sounds about his level.

I was younger. A silly teenager but I'd always wanted to go to bed with him. As for any other hunk , maybe but I didn't want to be a notch.

Allow me my nice moment.

We have lowland fens in North Yorkshire too. Please educate yourself!...stop the sarcasm, it isn't necessary.

Now 9 months later he will have 2 little ones

You need to brush up on punctuation and sentence construction.

"I'd just reached the age of 18 and my older sister, her husband and six month old baby had asked me to come to the Dales for a weekend."

That makes no sense. You have a baby issuing an invitation. It should be something like: "I'd just turned eighteen(write out numbers under 100)and my sister had invited me for a weekend at the Dales with her, her husband(give him a name), and their (six-month-old baby)."

"I was so looking forward to it(period) We were going to stay (at)the Fell Hotel in Burnsall"

"He was so dishy, i couldn't wait to be away for a long weekend."

Those two separate things make no sense. Try, "He(name) was so dishy(period). I couldn't wait to spend a long weekend with him."

"We bade him good night, kissing my niece gently and my sister too we went back to our own rooms."

That sentence makes no sense. Who was kissing the niece gently?

"Oh thank you." and took the glass from him."

"Oh, thank you(comma)" I said, and took the glass from him. OR

"Oh, thank you." I took the glass from him." You often put commas where there should be periods and vice versa.

Nice guy, this Mike. Not only does he screw his wife's teenaged sister with his wife and baby in the next room, but he doesn't even care enough to use a condom. Oh, well. If that's okay with you then that's all that matters.

There's a program called prowritingaid.com that can help you correct mistakes.

A good story and well told. Gave you a 5, but some light editing would've been useful,.

🤭🖕

Think it's unnecessary to leave comments as Anonymous. Just because you can doesn't mean you should 🤭

Why a 1 star? Cause you're a big twat waffle and your stories are quite LAME! Plus your username is cringey

The usual Anonymous cowardly trolls are out again I see😂.

What a fantastic account. Ignore the negative comments, it's a beautiful rendition of, what must have been, an amazing first time experience. Loved it.

I loved this story and a true one at that, what a lucky guy to have a gorgeous young lady on her first real lover.

Thank you..I enjoyed this very much..a great read.

Loved it. The language, the descriptions, obviously a young romantic woman, losin gher virginity to her fantasy lover.

Knowing the UK, I could see the whole scene in my mind, clear and stunning.

Well Done Stevie

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I enjoyed this story of a first time experience. Because I enjoyed it I could skip past the odd error that a proof read would pick up. For me, it's always the story that counts and this was a nice story.

fucking awesome. So good, I'm breathless - both heart and cock are pounding.

A really good story of your loss of virginity. I actually believed that I was the one deflowering you. One of the best erotic stories.

Fabulous story - erotic, but also very real and believabele

So well written Great story

Wonderful. Takes me back to my youth and first experiences. Real, honest and warm.

I’m leaking