You are Definitely Going to Hell Ch. 02

I take a seat in the corridor outside the room and wait. It takes a little over two hours to deliver a baby boy, 7 Ib 8ozs. I hear him cry for the first time, and a smile spreads across my face, but this smile is for the couple inside the room. I do not see the baby as mine and feel no connection to him. My smile is happiness for a couple that went through a tough time and came out the other side stronger than before. How we got to this point isn't as important as the fact that we are here. To underline this point, twenty minutes later, a tearful Mr. Peters comes out and proudly tells me about his newborn son. He then hugs me out of pure joy for life and then hurries off to make some phone calls.

I walk into the delivery room, and Jill is watching the Midwife and nurse check the baby over. Jill's eyes look towards the door as it opens, and a smile spreads across her face.

I walk over, "well done, Jill." Is all that I can think to say.

As I get close enough, she pulls me into a hug and whispers, "thank you."

The Midwife brings the baby back after giving him his vitamin K injection. "Are we going to try to feed him now?" She asks Jill.

I look away as Jill brings her surgical robe down to uncover her breast. The Midwife shows her how to position the baby and latch him on. He seems to know what he's doing and when I look back, he is suckling away on Jill's left breast. As my eyes take in the sight of a mother nursing, I realize how much bigger Jill's breasts are from when I last saw them.

I now feel like a spare part and stand, "Jill, I'm going to go now. I will most probably see you when you get home. Congratulations, Jill, you have a handsome son."

Jill lifts her free arm to indicate she wants a hug before I leave. I lean down, careful not to crush the baby, and wrap my arms around both mother and child. "Rob, thanks for bringing me to hospital and staying until Jack got here. I will see you at home before you leave." As I pull away, she steals another kiss, but this one lands on my cheek.

I move towards the door, and as I step through, I glance back. Jill is watching me leave this time, and I smile and give one last wave goodbye.

When I get home, I write to Jenny telling her about the baby and that I have booked a hotel near her and hope she can meet me there Saturday evening. As I walk to the end of the road and post my letter, I say to myself, "lilw yinnj, sellb no ruay tuarc. (well, Jenny, balls in your court)."

******

The week drags by, Mr. Peters comes over to thank me again for helping Jill, and they have named the baby Aaron. I gave him a gift of a teddy I bought. He's very thankful and almost starts to cry. I've never seen a man so happy and emotional before. I pack up everything I think I will need for University. The one big thing to happen was my mother deciding to buy a flat in Edinburgh. She had been moaning about the price of renting a shared flat ever since she made the first payment. So my parents will be visiting me some time next year and looking for suitable accommodation for me and a future investment for her and dad.

******

It's Thursday, and Karen is staring at the home phone, wondering what to say to her friend. Her Mum has just called her down because Charlie is on the phone.

"Hi Charlie, how's it going?"

"Hi, Karen. Oh, you know. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out before I leave on Sunday?"

"Yeah, sure, any of the others able to make it?"

"Nah, Sharon is working, and I've not been able to get hold of Michelle."

"She's been funny since she split with Andy, so do you want me to come over or go somewhere?"

"Ummm, want to meet me in town. Remember that Cafe we went to in the shopping center? Can we meet there tomorrow morning around 10:30?"

Karen is sat nervously at the Café they all went to on that first 'get to know you' date. How times had changed, who would have thought that only Clive and Sharon would still be together? She sees Charlie coming a mile off and is shocked at the shadow of a friend who is walking towards her. She's lost a ton of weight and doesn't look like she's slept in weeks.

"Hey stranger, long time no see."

"Yeah, I'm trying to see all three of you before I leave. How have you been?"

"Oh, you know, I start my new job next week. I get on the job training and one day a week back in college. It's an apprenticeship style thing in secretarial work."

"That sounds good; I can't wait to get away from here. There are too many memories, even in this place." Charlie's eyes are looking at the two tables they occupied that first time when she sat on Rob's lap and let the group in on their secret. Her face drops, "I miss him so much."

"I know you do. Have you thought about trying to talk to him?"

Charlie half laughs. "Why should I? He hasn't bothered trying to contact me."

"Look, Charlie, I don't want to keep anything from you, but I don't know if I should say anything or not."

"What do you mean?"

"Okay, let me ask one question.....Are the original things you fell out on that important to finish the relationship?"

"No, but what about what he did to my Mum? I don't know how we can get past that."

"Okay, we were talking Saturday."

"Who is we?"

"You know, the usual Saturday crowd. It started with Clive saying he saw Rob in Tesco, and he looked like his soul was gone. He still loves you and misses to so much. The guys also said they had an argument with Rob on the last day he was at school. He was upset because the guys had stayed away and not even asked him his version of what happened. He said that he didn't touch your Mum."

Charlie blows out a breath, "he would say that."

"Hear me out, Charlie, please. He said he had gone round to talk to you and that your Mum had made a pass at him. He said what she is accusing him of doing doesn't make sense. Why would he try it on with your Mum if he wanted to get back with you."

Charlie thinks for a minute. "That's what he wants you to think. He must have planned it before and waited for me to go out. Mum says that he would always touch her when he talked to her and looked at her in a way that made her uncomfortable."

Karen isn't sure how much she should tell her. This sort of information, if wrong, could wreck an innocent family. "Look, all I know is that Rob only came round after Nick told him you weren't at school. He ditched the last lesson, so he had no time to plan anything and just wanted to talk to you. Plus Rob said that your mum gave him the creeps a couple of times to Clive. This was way before you split."

"So what you're saying is my Mother is lying."

"What I'm saying is one of them is, and your mother has just as much reason to lie as Rob. Anyway, have you ever known Rob to lie?"

"Yes, he lied about being a virgin, and the girl he writes to in code."

"Did he? Did he ever tell you he was a virgin? When the guys mentioned it, I just remember him staying quiet. So tell me, did you ever hear him say he was a virgin? And the girl he writes to is a childhood friend, and they even talk to each other in that code. He hasn't seen her in over five years."

Charlie opens her mouth to say yes but stops herself. She scans her memory but can't ever even remember mentioning it. The only time she ever did was when they had sex for the first time, and she had said, 'Hey, we're not virgins anymore.' She blows out a breath she didn't realize she was holding..." No, he didn't. Unless you count the fact, he didn't say he wasn't a virgin a lie."

"I'm not sure that counts, but all I'm saying is think about it. There's not much you can do until Christmas anyway, so think about what I said."

Charlie and Karen spend the rest of the morning walking around the shops. It's just before three when Charlie turns towards Karen, "but why didn't he try to tell me this?"

Karen doesn't know if she should tell her the truth. "Look, Charlie, I have only said something because of the way you looked when you walked into the shopping center. You have lost weight and look like you're not sleeping. Just think about it, if at Christmas you think you can forgive him, I'm sure he will tell you the reason for not coming round."

"Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?"

"Please don't shoot the messenger. My only goal was to get you to think about it. We decided on Saturday that you two need to find each other without us pushing you together."

"But why?"

"Because, girl, it is obvious to us that you two are still deeply in love with each other, and as your friend, we feel obligated to point some truths out."

"The problem is we could never get back to where we were. Can we forget all this hurt we have gone through?"

"Depends if you think your love is worth it."

******

Dear Rob,

I'm just writing this quick note to say that I will meet you at the hotel. I know the one you mean and can say I'm working Saturday afternoon so that we can spend some time together.

Wow, so you're a Dad. Aaron, that's an old Hebrew name. It means "exalted" or "strong."

See you Saturday,

your friend,

Jenny

Ps, You're definitely still going to hell.

Saturday morning, the car is full of what I think I will need. I have been on the road for nearly five hours and about ten miles short of Rotherham on the M1. I feel my heart beating fast as the miles click down. I wonder if Jenny will make our rendezvous or will she be stopped. I reset my milometer to zero and watched the miles tick past. Then it occurs to me that I only have one junction to go as I glance at the latest junction sign with a small 34 in the corner. I have to get off at Junction 35, take the A629 towards Rotherham, and the hotel is a mile and a half and on the left.

I see the large blue sign loom large in the distance. I indicate to get into the left-hand lane, ready to turn off in plenty of time. I see the small blue signs count down, three, two, one. I indicate and follow the road off to the left. I turn right over the bridge of the M1 and follow as instructed the A629. I set my counter again and drive a mile before I start to look for the hotel. I needn't worry, a large sign on the left announces my arrival, and I indicate left into the half-empty car park.

I grab my backpack and make my way into the reception. Although I haven't seen Jenny for five years, we still managed to send each other photo's once in a while, so we both know what each other looks like.

I spot her as soon as I enter the reception area; she is looking at a magazine with her back to me. I walk up to the young girl at the desk and say, "Hi, I have booked a room under Rob Johnson?" I watch in the mirror as Jenny's head suddenly looks my way at my name being said. A smile spreads across her face as she puts the magazine down and gets up.

"Rob," she says as she walks my way. My eyes follow her every step in the mirror behind the receptionist until she's just behind me. I had worried for much of the journey precisely what I should do at this moment.

For a split second, it takes me to turn; I can see the excitement and fear in her eyes. I must admit I have had the same emotions just thinking of this moment. As I spin around and open my arms, without a thought, she steps forward two paces and wraps her arms around me. It feels good to have someone hold me again.

Jenny is only around five feet tall, so I rest my chin on the top of her head as she nuzzles into my chest.

We don't say a word for a moment until the girl behind the desk says. "You are in room 25, Mr. Johnson." I turned back a little with Jenny still stuck to me and thanked her. "When you are ready, it's up the stairs, or the lift which is through those doors and you are on the second floor.

"Thank you," I look at her name tag. "Kelly, see you later." I tap Jenny on the shoulder. "Hey Jenny, shall we take this reunion elsewhere?"

"Mmmm, it's good to touch you again finally. I was beginning to think our eight years together was a dream."

"Nah, the five years apart was a nightmare," I say as we walk towards the stairs. We seem to click back into our friendship without missing a beat, to my relief. "Jenny, are you okay coming up to my room? I don't want to presume anything."

"I think I will be okay. There are things we need to talk about that I don't want an audience for."

"Okay, you're the boss."

We get to the second floor, talking none stop. I told her about my drive, and she told me how she managed to get away to meet me.

I unlock the door and let Jenny go in first. Directly to the left is the bathroom. Then the room opens into quite a big room with two double beds, a desk with a wooden chair, and a TV on the desk in the corner.

Jenny sits on the first bed, and I look around, not knowing what to do with myself. There doesn't seem to be any uneasiness between us.

"Rob," Jenny says to get my attention. "Come and sit down. I haven't got a huge amount of time."

I sit down on the second bed facing her. "So, what do you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure. I've always wondered if we were just friends or there was more to it, but I don't think either of us is in the right frame of mind to answer that question."

"Mmm, yeah. A lot has happened in the last ten months."

"Your telling me, so what I propose is that we do something I've needed since last year."

"What's that?"

"A hug. I need my best friend to hold me and make me feel okay.......Please?"

I smile at her, "I can do that. It was good to feel someone hold me again down in reception."

Jenny gets up and kicks her shoes off, and unbuttons her coat. She places it on the back of the chair and climbs on the bed where I'm sitting. I am frozen to the spot for a second, not knowing what I should do.

"Hurry up, Rob. It's not the warmest room."

Which I must admit is strange for mid-September. I get up and take my coat off, putting it over Jenny's and kicking my trainers off. I look at the now woman sitting on the bed. She is in her Tesco uniform that is riding up to her mid-thigh and well, not much else. My eyes quickly scan her body; although she is small, she is perfectly proportioned and seems to look after herself a little.

"Rob," she says, opening her arms. "stop looking and start hugging."

I smile and move in next to her. I didn't think it would feel as comfortable as it does, and I am happy to go with the flow. We settle into an embrace, and I feel myself relax for the first time since that argument in my room with Charlie.

"Thanks, Jenny. I need this."

"You're not the only one," she says. I've been waiting for this for five years. So how are you feeling now about the Charlie thing."

"Still confused; I genuinely love the girl but can't see a way around the problem with her parents. If we are to be together, her parents can't be part of it."

"That's a toughie; I would have had her dad chucked in prison if I was around. He's a very lucky SOB. I'm surprised your Mum didn't go on a crusade."

"I didn't tell her. I told everyone I couldn't remember.....Well, until I had that outburst at school."

"Shit, what a mess. And what about your baby?"

"Yeah, I went to see them Friday. They seem happy now, and Arron is the spit of his mother, luckily."

"And you've accepted that?"

"Well yeah, I've always looked at him as their baby. I feel nothing other than happiness that it all worked out."

"I suppose it is easier for a man....." She seems to be thinking, so I settle into enjoying my cuddle for a moment. "Rob, have you ever wondered whether we would be boyfriend-girlfriend, if I didn't have dicks as parents?"

"Constantly up to the point I met Charlie. Then my view of our relationship changed."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh god, I'm not sure if this is the right thing to say or not."

"Is it the truth?"

"Always."

"Then just say it."

"Okay, when we were together holding hands, it was....."

"Comfortable?"

"Yeah, it wasn't because we always have held hands. With Charlie, I loved holding her hand in public to tell the world this was my girl."

"And we did it because we didn't want to get run over or separated in the crowd."

"Yeah, I spose." I brought my head back to gauge her reaction.

"Yeah, that's how I saw us. I was worried you might have more expectations."

"At this moment, I don't want any relationship. I'm not ready for that yet."

There's a moment of silence, but I can feel the same tension in the air that I felt just before Jill asked me to make her pregnant. I knew something was coming, but I didn't know what.

"Rob........." I don't say anything but adjust my position to look into Jenny's eyes. "Is there any chance we can have.......sex?" My eyes double in size, but I still stay quiet. "It's just I miss the sex with Phillip more than Phillip, and it seems you gave both Jill and Charlie something I haven't experienced, a real orgasm."

"You want sex with me?"

"Yes, please. Just like you and Jill had."

"Do you want me to make you pregnant?"

"Oh god no, I have brought condoms.....Please, Rob, I just want to feel what they did."

I let out a long breath of air and lay back. I think for a moment, but I can't see why I shouldn't, other than one. "Are you sure it won't change us?"

"I wouldn't have thought so. We share most things in our letters." She climbs on top of me, "I thought out of the whole male population, you would be the one to have casual sex with."

"You do realize that Jill now grumbles that I've ruined sex with her husband and Charlie passed out on more than one occasion?"

"So you told me in your letters. Let's face it; I want some of what they had." She pushes up on her arms, and a smile spreads across her face. "Even your one-eyed trouser snake seems to think it's a good idea."

"That's no surprise; it hasn't had any for a couple of months. It went from sex most days to zero in a day."

Jenny shuffles down, "oh, poor baby." She pats my bulge. "So, is that a yes?"

"Sure, why not."

Those three words cause the most beautiful smile on Jenny's face, and she jumps off and goes over to her shoulder bag that she had put on the table. She reaches in and pulls out a packet of three Durex condoms, and chucks them on the bed.

"So, what would madam wish for, the silver, gold, or platinum package today?"

"Fuck it; I want the works."

"Okay, but I once again will warn you. You will not easily find someone to match what I can do."

"A bit cocky, aren't we. Look at Mr. I've given two women orgasms, and now am god's gift. Okay, show me."

I could see that it was useless arguing. I found that out many times when we were younger. The moment she gets something in her head, there's not much that can change it.

I get up and take my top off. "Wow, someone's been working out." Then her face changes as she sees my scar. She walks over and touches it with her fingertips, causing me to flinch.

"Still sensitive down there," I say, trying to smile.

Jenny looks up and smiles back. She reaches up on tiptoes and kisses my lips for the first time. As the kiss grows deeper, we both relax and forget everything other than what we are about to do. I start to unbutton her Tesco uniform one button at a time. Once I get as far as I can reach, Jenny finishes the job, and I push the fabric off over her shoulders, letting gravity do the rest. I run my hands over her naked back towards her bra strap and unhook it to my surprise in one go.

Jenny takes this moment to break the kiss and bring her arms down so she can undo my Jeans buttons, and as they drop to the floor, she sees the bulging boxer shorts for the first time. Her hand reaches out and touches it, and a small but audible gasp escapes her mouth.

I step back a little to remove my trousers, but the bed behind trips me. As I fall back, Jenny grabs each leg of my trousers and whips them off in one smooth move. My eyes are transfixed as her small but pert breasts that have come into view as her bra slides down her arms as she leans forward.