All Comments on 'You are Definitely Going to Hell'

Amazing story. Read from start to finish in one sitting. Only wish is that Charlie’s Dad gets his comeuppance

With Rob’s mum as a lawyer there is no way they would have let the assailants get away with it. Likewise the police would have opened a file. Unfortunately that part stuck in my craw.

With some luck the second chapter will correct what was hopefully an oversight

Great. Would like it to go a bit further, to see how he copes being a father, and does still walk Archie. What happens when he goes to Uni. Plus more.

No question, this story can’t end here. 5 stars, and my strongest encouragement to give us some more.

Stories from the UK are always so much more believable and not just a quick wank! I enjoyed the story line even if it was a little unbelievable in parts. The sex was believable and the dialogue was very good. Some context, spelling and grammatical editing required.

I'm going to read some of your other stories!

A bit slow, but very good. It needs another chapter.

Easily 5 stars but needs at least one more chapter to restore Rob's relationship, at least to the point of friendship, with Charlie, then for her parents to receive their just rewards, either directly or indirectly. It would also be nice for Jenifer to meet in person with Rob. Lastly, Jill will again need Rob's help adding children to her family.

Currently, there are just too many loose ends and no "happily ever after"

really enjoyed your story , interesting and held my attention right through, keep writing .

I loved the story but hated the end…it felt like you didn’t know where to go with it.

Definitely needs another chapter - Charlie doesn’t feel like a woman who wouldn’t react to what happened.

Great story. Nice read. Five stars.

Great story. But it needs more chapters. The ending was very usatisfying. Still, 5 stars.

"The End, or is it just the beginning?" I hope you are busy this very moment writing the next chapter. There is so much resolution needed and so many opportunities for Rob's character to continue growing. I can't help wondering what will happen if/when he gets to Edinburgh. But I also want to see justice regarding the attack by Charlie's father. Brilliant story up to this point.

Enjoyed this as I have all your stuff, interested to see where this goes, 5 stars from me, thanks from Australia

Enjoyable read. Well done! Follow-up would be nice.

Please a follow up!

Nicely paced story with great character building.

I agree with the other comments that a follow up would be welcomed.

Great work and well done.

Loved this well written First time, and First love story. But, you left us hanging! Please finish this great tale, and please burn those cowards asses that put him in the hospital.

Egads! Did you ever consider a proofreader? It was hilarious when you wrote about the teacher's virginal walls when he had his cock in her. One star off for lack of proofreading.

Incredible story. Yet the ending's quick unraveling left many questions, mostly on Charlie's character. Hopefully her sister heard Rob's love for her and tells her in a revelation for ch. 2, which I'm about to read. Very captivating overall

Great premise.

Nice long buildup.

Generally, the sex scenes were nice. Sometimes, however, they needed not to be so rushed. Needed more details. Possibly even more dialog about how what one was doing to the other felt to the one doing and the one to whom it was done.

Too bad there was no blowjob.

Wasn't particularly fond of the beating by Charlie's father and his cohorts. And the ending.

And you do need an editor/proofreader.

You wrote WAIST when you meant WASTE.

You wrote PASSED when you meant PAST.

You wrote DRAWS when you meant DRAWERS.

And there were many typos. And lacking/improper use of apostrophes.

Nevertheless, FIVE stars.

Love this story. Especially all the 80s UK references, I wasn't 18 in 85-6 but I still remember shopping at Fosters.

Others have mentioned some typos. Here are a few that stood out to me. It's Meccano, not Marcano. And "a la" not "al a"

Still a great story, and I think your pacing is perfect

… even if it took two years, he did get Charlie back.

I think you could say that Charlie’s parents abandoned her, so she didn’t have to leave them.

The father eventually tangled with the police.

I feel sorry for the sister.

Wow, great story and so well written. Thanks for sharing! 5 Stars

Absolutely excellent story from start to finish. I read it all in two sittings and look forward to more.

A minor carp is just that a bit of grammatical and spelling tidying up wouldn't go amiss.

Really excellently done.

NIcely written overall

Jenifer too closely watched top write a letter and yet able to have drunekn party and regular fuck buddy seems to be story issue - even if next chapters would clarify this issue, it would still be apparent for MC (ind in 1st person POV reader knows as much as MC)

Good story up until the deranged mom and vengeful dad. Just bizarre and unnecessary plot devise to, what, get out of that relationship.

I have given each section of "You are definitely going to Hell" 5 stars and am impatiently waiting for more of the story.

This is a easy 5 stars. Well written, great humor,clever dialogue and a good pace.

Well done.

Hopefully Mr. Peters finds out and divorces Mrs. Peters. I’m not too upset that Rob was hospitalized and abandoned by his friends. He’s not an especially good or bad guy, but it’s karmic, even if the beating he deserved was from the wrong person.

good characters, keeps me hooked.

the writing style is a bit clumsy though; especially some recurring redundancies feel like you didn't bother reading your own script after pinning down your stream of confluence. :)

e.g. 'I don't answer straight away, and if I am honest, it is a little awkward. "It should be fine. It is a little awkward, to be honest, but it is nice to have company once in a while."' if you wrote this on purpose: please don't, it's a bad idea. and if it was not on purpose: proofread your script, or have somebody else do it. you don't need to explain your character's thoughts and then repeat them in their words over and over again.

I favor happy endings. If only the sister had told her older sister what had happened, what was said. It was expected or why write that the sister was even there. It seems a bit cruel.

A supposedly smart guy allows an idiot beat him almost to death and does nothing, hides it from the police. Sorry, that BS took me out of the story and cost you two stars.