You are Definitely Going to Hell

"Rob?" Mrs. Peters calls after me.

I turn, "yes, Mrs. Peters?"

"Would you mind if I walked with you tonight?" She asks, looking a little hopeful.

I shrug; this is a little strange. In all the years I have walked Archie, she has never wanted to come along. "If you want, I don't mind."

She smiles, "great, can you wait while I put my coat on?"

I walk half the distance back towards her and wait while she runs back into the house.

It's not long until I hear her close the front door and walk up the driveway. She's even put a bobble hat on tonight. There is a bit of a chill, so I don't blame her. "Sorry, just wanted to get out of the house for a bit."

"That's okay, and it will make a change to have someone to talk to."

"Not sure if you'll get much conversation out of me, but I would like to apologize for being a little short with you on Tuesday."

"I didn't think you did anything wrong."

"Really? Then why didn't you want a lift into school then?"

"Ahhh......" I'm feeling a little hesitant to tell her the truth.

"Oh, come on, Rob. How long have we lived across from you."

I stay quiet for a minute, still feeling uncomfortable with the truth. "It's just........that I can see you and Mr. Peters having problems..."

"And you just didn't want to get involved?" I can see she is looking at me the way teachers always look at you when they are seeking the truth.

"Yeah, I guess. It's just awkward." I say, really not wanting this conversation.

"Okay, I see your point." She lets out an exasperated breath that shows in the chill of the night. We walk on for a while before she suddenly says, "Jack and I are trying for a baby."

"Oh...right." is all I can say. Not into babies much, and this conversation is going down the really uncomfortable route.

"We've been trying for some time, and last week Jack got tested."

"Uh-ha," my ability to communicate is diminishing by the second.

"That's what the arguments are about. Jack has a low sperm count."

Shit, I have nothing to say to that. What do you say? Then I think of something, "oh, I'm sorry to hear that." We carry on walking in silence until we get to The Ridge and the seat I always sit on.

"It's hit Jack hard, and he's started to drink."

We sit in silence for a minute. "You know, I have always seen you and Mr. Peters as having the perfect relationship."

"Really?"

"Mmm yeah, I always thought that if I ever had a relationship like yours, I would consider myself very lucky."

"As opposed to what?"

"Well, my parents."

"You what? Your parents seem happy together."

"I guess they are in their own way, but they don't seem to have the love you and Mr. Peters have." She looks at me for a moment, so I add. "The world can see you love each other. I can't remember seeing my parents kiss once."

"Oh.......well, maybe that's an age thing."

"I guess.........So what are you and Mr. Peters going to do about having a baby?"

"Not sure; keep trying for the moment. If that doesn't work, we could possibly adopt." Again there's a moment of silence. "It's really beautiful up here at night. I can see why you come this way."

"Yeah, it's a good place to come and think." Archie comes and sits at my feet, indicating he wants to go now. I get up and pat him. "Looks like Archie wants to go home," I say. We get up and slowly walk down the hill. "So, is that what all the arguments have been about?"

"Sorry, yes. Mr. Peters hasn't taken the news well that he's the reason I haven't got pregnant. I think he feels it makes him less of a man or something."

"Oh," I say, not knowing what to say.

Mrs. Peters can see this has made me a little uncomfortable, "I'm sorry, Rob. I can see in your face that you find this conversation uncomfortable."

We walk down in relative silence; the only sound is Archie's panting as he runs around. "It's only because it's not our usual conversation."

"And on the edge of talking about sex." She says, looking at me for a reaction, which she gets, as I grimace at the word sex. She laughs, "I thought you deserved an explanation, that's all."

"Okay, so does this mean my extra tutoring is not going to happen?"

Mrs. Peters is quiet for a moment. "No, we can carry on as long as you are gone by the time he gets home. That should still give us an hour at least."

I look at her and smile, "okay, gone by five."

We walk the rest of the way in relative silence and part ways at the top of the Peters' drive.

The next day it is pissing down outside, so I phone across and check to see if I can get a lift to school. Mrs. Peters is happy that I have accepted her explanation, and things between us have gone back to relative normality. We drive to school only, discussing my classes and the weather. Noel Edmonds is on the radio one doing the breakfast show and is playing The Eurythmics, Sweet Dreams. We start to sing along as we make our way through rush hour traffic.

I have a typical day at school, and time passes quickly. It's still raining when we leave, and we are stuck in traffic with a sea of red brake lights blurred on the wet window screen.

"Rob?"

"Yes, Mrs. Peters?"

"I would like to thank you for last night. I needed to get out of the house and talk to someone. Could I ask you to keep what we talked about to yourself?"

"Yes, I'm not someone to talk about such things anyway." She smiles at me as the car behind hits his horn because the traffic has started to move, and we haven't.

When the traffic stops again, she continues the conversation. "Would you mind if I joined you again some time?"

"I guess not, and it's a free country," I reply, trying to be cool.

"Well, I don't want to impose on you if you find it awkward."

I don't answer straight away, and if I am honest, it is a little awkward. "It should be fine. It is a little awkward, to be honest, but it is nice to have company once in a while."

"Oh, it won't be every night. Just when I need a little fresh air."

"Okay," is all that I can think to say in return. The traffic starts moving again, and soon we are on the dual carriageway nearing our turn off.

This is how pretty much my life for the next month. Mr. and Mrs. Peters seem to argue most nights. I can hear them when sitting in my room doing my homework. Sometimes there is a crash when something gets thrown or dropped. These are the evenings that you can guarantee I get a companion on my walk.

It's a cold frosty morning in the third week of November, and the arguments are at their worst. Mrs. Peters has been quiet on the drive to school. It seems like life has been sucked out of her. She looks tired and not the same person she was earlier this year.

"Mrs. Peters, pardon me for saying, but you don't look right."

There's a moment of silence, "I'm sure things will work out." I look across at her with a worried expression. She smiles back, "you remind me of Jack when we first met at university." She gasps, and a worried look comes across her face.

"What's up?" I say, suddenly feeling uncomfortable but not sure why.

"Nothing," is all she can answer. Her eyes are fixed on the car in front, and she puts the radio on to break the weird silence. We stay like that for the rest of the way to school, and by the time we return home, she seems to be a little more relaxed.

Nothing more was said about Mrs. Peters' problems all week, and I had forgotten our conversation earlier in the week. We get home on Friday, and when she opens the garage, Mr. Peters' car is there.

"I'm sorry, Rob, it looks like Mr. Peters is home early. We will have to do your lesson at a different time."

"That's okay, Mrs. Peters. I have a load of homework to get through anyhow." I say, trying to make her feel better about it. I hadn't, one of the teachers was away, and the other forgot to set us any. It looks like I have a weekend to myself then.

I get out, thank her for the lift and make my way across the road. I get in and turn the heating on, so it's warm for when my parents come in. I'm in my room getting changed when I hear Mr. Peters shout, "stop the nagging woman," and slams the door.

I look out and see him stagger the top of his drive and sit on his garden wall. He reaches up to rub his face and promptly falls back into his garden. He must be off his trolley because I don't see him emerge for about ten minutes. He finally stands, using the wall for support, and makes his way back into the house. He enters the kitchen, where I can see Mrs. Peters doing the dishes. He says something to her, and they seem to make up.

Eight o'clock, and I walk down the next door's driveway with Archie on his lead. He's pulling this way and that until he stops still in the middle of the road. I look to where he is and see Mrs. Peters waiting for me in her winter coat. It's a bit cold out tonight, and I have my Parker on with the fur-lined snorkel hood.

"Good evening," she says as she catches up to me.

"Hi," I say.

We walk in silence until we get to the gate that leads up to The Ridge. I let Archie off his lead, and he runs off looking for rabbits.

"Does he ever catch a rabbit?"

"No, he barks and chases after them but never has caught one. I think he only does it for fun."

"To have the problems of a well looked after pooch." She pauses for a second, "so did you hear and see the latest episode of the Peters saga."

"Yeah, getting a bit like Eastenders." I look for a reaction, "I saw Mr. Peters come outside a bit worse for wear and promptly fall backward off your wall."

We continue silent for a moment, but then she just bursts out laughing. "Oh, I shouldn't laugh, but I watched from the kitchen window, and you couldn't have made it up." She moves in closer, "I need to run something by you. It's only an idea at the moment, but before I make a decision, I need to know what you think."

"Okay, that sounds ominous."

"Well, it's scaring the shit out of me." She says without looking my way.

We walk the rest of the way up to The Ridge in silence. All the time, In my head, I am running through what she might want.

Archie, as always, reaches The Ridge well ahead of us. He's sniffing around the tree bases and cocking his leg every five seconds, leaving his mark.

"Before we have this conversation, I need you to swear that you won't tell another soul what I am about to ask."

"What not even Jenifer?"

"Okay, you can tell Jenifer, but only in that code of yours. But you need to swear no one else."

"Okay, I swear I won't tell anyone about this conversation." I think I would have said anything at this moment just to hear what she wants.

She takes a deep breath. I can see she is still hesitant to say whatever she wants. Once the cat is out of the bag, there's no putting it back. Finally, she turns towards me and leans in so she doesn't have to speak too loudly. "Right, you know that Jack and I are having a problem conceiving, and Jack has taken the news rather hard." I stay quiet because this isn't where I thought the conversation would go. "When I said you reminded me of Jack when we first met, it got me thinking." She takes another deep intake of air. "What I was wondering was whether you would consider making me pregnant?"

"What? No, no-no-no. I can't do that. You're married to Mr. Peters." I say, standing up. "If we did that, it would mean you would have to cheat on Mr....." This is too much to take in.

"Rob, please listen to me."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Peters, but I have always looked at your marriage as......oh, I don't know.......Perfect, I suppose."

"Rob, we are far from perfect. We have our ups and downs, but this is really tearing a hole in our relationship." She walks up behind me and pulls me around to face her. "If I don't do something soon, the damage will be too much to repair. Rob, you will be saving my marriage."

"How will you getting pregnant by me save your marriage. Mr. Peters will get twice as upset to know someone else could do it when he couldn't."

She looks into my eyes, "please, Rob. He will never know. It will be our secret, he will think he has fathered a child, and everything will return to how it was."

I look at her with an exasperated look. She starts to cry, "I will think about it, but no promises."

"That's all I want; just think about it for the next day or two." She smiles through her tears and then turns, "come on, we best get back."

We walk back down the hill in silence. My head is going a hundred miles an hour, and I can only feel sad that something I valued so much isn't as perfect as I thought.

The weekend goes by in a daze. Mum sends me to bed because she doesn't want to catch whatever I have. This is one of those times when I wish Jenifer were around. Everything changed on Sunday night; I'm sitting in my room, as usual, finally putting the finishing touches on my Harrier. As I lay the GB stickers on the wings, I hear an almighty crash. I look out, and Mr. Peters has driven his car through the garden wall. My first thought is that he won't fall off that again, but then I see Mrs. Peters comes running out. She helps her inebriated husband into the house before coming back to check the damage.

She locks the car up, and as she goes back into the house, she looks up at my window. At that moment, I feel her heartbreak, and tears form in the corner of my eyes. At this moment, I decide to help her in any way I can.

******

Monday morning arrives; it's damp and grey out as I walk over towards the Peters' house. The car is still halfway through the wall with the front wheels on the grass.

I knock, and a very hung-over Mr. Peters answers the door. "Morning Rob," he says in an I feel sorry for myself way.

"Morning, Mr. Peters," I reply in a low voice.

"She's just putting her face on. I'm off today, got to sort that mess out." He says, pointing to the wreck in the garden.

"Did you hurt yourself, Mr. Peters?"

"Only my pride Rob," he gives me a half-smile and returns to the sofa where there's an Alka-salsa fizzing away.

I awkwardly sit down and wait for Mrs. Peters to finish getting ready. "So, Mr. Peters, how do you plan to get the car out of Mrs. Peters' rose bed?"

"Don't mention my Rose bed." Mrs. Peters says as she walks in, putting in her left earring. "It's a very sore subject." Mr. Peters gives me a 'thanks a lot' look as he puts his empty glass back down. "Come on, Rob; we're running a little late." She picks her shoulder bag and keys up, "I'll see you later, love." She walks over and kisses her husband on the cheek before heading for the front door.

Mrs. Peters pauses a moment to look at the car that has destroyed her roses. She gets into her car and leans across to open my door. I get a fleeting glimpse of the top of her right breast and black lace bra. As I open the door, it occurs to me that I had never looked at Mrs. Peters in that way. What is wrong with me, she is a beautiful woman, and I have never looked at her in that way until today?

As she backs out of her drive, I wonder if it has to do with our conversation on The Ridge and the decision I come to the previous night.

"Rob?" Mrs. Peters says, breaking my train of thought.

"Yes. Mrs. Peters?"

"I think you can start calling me Jill. Especially after our conversation the other night." She pauses a moment, "so, did you think about what I asked?"

"Yes, well, I couldn't think of much else."

"And?"

"And, after what happened last night, I have decided to help you." Mrs. Peters, Jill, gasps, and a smile spread across her face.

"I must admit it made my decision a lot easier." There's a moment's silence. "So, what next?"

"That's what I've been thinking. Can I ask you if you are still a Virgin?" I wasn't expecting this question, and my only reaction was to go red and look down at my feet. "Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and it helps me in the way I can approach it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my biggest problem with this is the simple fact that I will be cheating on my husband. It doesn't matter how good the reason I am doing it is; I can't get away from that fact."

"So, how does me being a virgin change that?"

"Well, it crossed my mind that I am your Biology teacher, and although it doesn't change the truth of it all, I think teaching you how to make love to a woman will make it more acceptable."

"More acceptable?"

"Yes, and if I get pregnant doing it.......?" She pauses a moment. "Thanks, Rob."

We don't speak for the rest of the journey into school. "I'll see you later, M...Jill," I say as I open my door.

"Yes, see you last lesson, Rob." I close the door, and she leans across to lock the door giving me another quick look down her blouse. It's amazing what you see if you look for it.

I'm sitting at my usual table for dinner. The guys are sitting, talking among themselves as my mind is busy with other things.

"Earth to Rob.....come in Rob.........Earth to Rob?........Oi, dick head."

"What?"

"What planet are you on?" Andy asks.

"What?"

"You're such a spaz, Rob."

"Swivel on this." I fire back, sticking my middle finger up. That shut him up. "So what you girls flapping about?"

"We were just having a debate, would you do, Mrs. Peters, or Miss. Phillips? You have to choose one, dude."

"Come on, have you not got nothing better to talk about? You know I don't see Mrs. Peters like that."

"Okay, so that's three-two for Mrs. Peters."

"So what you going to do, Nick, just stare at her until she gets uncomfortable and asks, what are you staring at?"

"Ha Ha Ha very funny, Robert. You've got to admit she's looking sexier today?"

"Oh, hilarious, still doesn't get away from the fact you can't talk to anyone with a pair of tits."

"Yeah, and you do so much better. The only girl to show interest in you got moved to a different part of the country to keep her away from you."

"Oh, cutting," I say. I look over at Mrs. Peters. The guys are right; she does look sexier today. She's sitting in the teacher's area chatting to Miss Phillips. Miss Phillips is younger and teaches the girls PE; I prefer Mrs. Peters' more womanly shape to Miss Phillips's toned. Mrs...Jill glances my way, and a smile of recognition appears temporarily on her lips.

Dinner passes without much else happening, and we make our way towards the end of the day. As I walk into the last lesson, Jill doesn't treat me any different from usual, and it's not long until we pull out of the staff car park.

Jill is first to speak, "so what was that look all about in dinner?"

"What look?"

"Just be careful; we don't want people thinking there's even a possibility of anything."

"Oh that, there was a conversation going on to who they would prefer to have sex with, you or Miss Phillips."

"Who won?"

"You did three two; the guys thought you were looking sexier today."

"I hope one of the two was your vote."

"Yeah, they know I don't see you in that way. So when you said this morning you would teach me, what did that mean?"

"If I teach you about how to make love to a woman and satisfy her, then I hope it will be more acceptable to my guilty conscience. We do it at the right time unprotected; me getting pregnant is just a natural and happy coincidence."

"I can see that, so when will these lessons be?"

Jill sits there a moment, figuring dates. "I've only just finished my cycle, so around two weeks. We will start your lessons the week before."

"So, what exactly are we going to do?"

"Rob, there's so much more than just sticking your cock in me and wiggling it around for a while. You need to satisfy both people present."

That didn't answer my question, but I'm not going to push this. The more I know and think about it, the more chance I have of chickening out. Plus, it sounds like I will learn something that will actually be useful in life.

We pull into the Peters' drive and see that the car is gone and the demolished wall is neatly pilled down near the house. I can see a satisfied smile on Jill's face.